In Case You Haven't Guessed ...

I can finally announce ...
I'M PREGNANT!!!!
I have to admit, it's been killing me to keep it quiet for so long, but this week marks 12 weeks. And, believe me, unlike my first pregnancy, I'm definitely already showing. I was able to hide it for awhile, but not so much anymore.
Okay.
So that's the news.
Are you surprised? Okay, maybe not so much if you've read between the lines. I've been kind of alluding to it a bit in the last couple of months. That's mostly because unlike with Matthew (who was a surprise when I found out at 11.5 weeks) I've been feeling really pregnant. I've been sick and tired and hormonal. I'm not whining. I know a lot of people have it way worse than me. And, I made the decision that when I was pregnant I was going to suck it up and not call in sick from work and whine too much to Mike. So far so good.

But, before that ... I have to admit I wasn't sure if we were even considering a second child. In fact, the other day I was on the phone with my mother-in-law who was understandably excited to hear the news. I said "well, were you that surprised?" and her response was yes, because she got the impression one may be enough.
And, she was right.
For the longest time one was enough. Truthfully, one still is enough. I love Matt more than I could ever imagine. And, if I were to have no more I would be content.
Matt's birth and his first year were really really rough on me. You won't find his birth story on this blog. You probably wouldn't hear his birth story if you met me in person. It's really personal. There were so many aspects of it that went wrong. Primarily for me it was all of the emotional stuff. After he was born I literally didn't even bother going to see him. About 5 hours after he was born my mom had to step in and insist I go see him (he was in the special care nursery) because I hadn't seen him yet - nor had I asked to.
Forget all the other details - and there are many - I'll suffice it to say that I didn't bond with my child for a very long time. (effects of post partum depression). Even saying that much makes me cry still.
And this, more than anything, is what scares me about having a second child.
I'm afraid of going through that again. I'm also afraid of not going through that and feeling like I love my 2nd child more than my first.
I've spoken at length with my doctor about it - and I've been to counselling. So, not to worry.
But, my point is that it's all these emotional fears that have been in the way. Well, that and money and timing and desire.
A few things changed my mind.
I have to admit that I've always said that I wasn't going to have another one until I felt that desire to have one.
And, at Matt's 3rd birthday party I did. My friend brought her adorable baby. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I left that party knowing I was ready.
The other part of it is that I read Haley's blog a lot. She had a similar issue to me - she had prepartum depression (so kind of the opposite of post partum depression because for her it was before the baby while for me it was after). When she decided to have another one and deal with her depression issues - but still do it anyway - I was really inspired. It was what spurred me on to go to my doctor and talk about my fears. No, there's no guarantee that I won't deal with it again, but instead of trying to hide it my doctor is going to make sure that she is on top of things early on.
And so now we have another 28 weeks to go (and grow!)
I'm thrilled. And terrified. And excited. And, I'm really wondering if I will be able to manage 2 kids at once (I'm keeping Matt in daycare for awhile after the baby comes ... I'm not crazy!)
But, I'll leave those concerns for later and for now enjoy my growing belly and excitement!

Ouch!

This morning Matthew and I went grocery shopping bright and early.
We're off to my in-laws later today, and since Matt was up at the crack of dawn (and by association I was) I decided to be the nice wife that I am, let my husband sleep and get the week's groceries.
Since we had a fair but to buy we decided to go to the store that is cheaper - just a few blocks away.
At the entrance to the store (inside) are flowers.
Matt knew we were going to see his Oma today and thought she would like some flowers. We took a long time choosing and finally found the "right" flower.
We put it in the cart and off we went.
About 2 minutes later a bee flew out of the flowers and stung me in the ear.
OUCH.
I tried to suck it up and keep going, but I was in serious pain and bleeding. And swelling. Matt was freaking out too since I was dripping blood and trying not to cry.
I finally walked over to a couple people in the butcher area. And burst into tears.
It was so embarrassing. Who does that? And Matt started to tell them what happened.
I've never seen people move so quickly. The one girl calmed Matt down while the man ran and got ice.
They brought me to the back room - and were pretty amazing. I felt dumb but it was just one of those things where you're trying not to cry but you're in pain so your eyes are welling up. So, I was trying to chill, and the man was trying to see how swollen I was.
After a few minutes we continued on with ice. Thank goodness Matt sat in the cart (I think he was afraid that I'd cry again). And, for some reason I continued grocery shopping.
What a morning.
I really hope the flowers are appreciated :)
(they will be...)

And She's Off ...

I know a lot of us have dreams and plans and hopes growing up.
I can remember all the things I wanted to do - for a long time I wanted to be a veterinarian. Some of my friends wanted to be fire fighters or doctors or pilots or teachers. Some of us changed plans (cause, you know, I didn't go past grade 9 science - I'm not a vet), and some people had their plans changed for them.
But, one of my friends has always had a plan to be an actor.
I've known her about 6 years - we met fresh out of university. We were both pursuing careers. It always amazed me when this friend of mine would talk.
She is a good actor, but she doesn't fit the cookie-cutter stereotype of being size 0 and having long blonde hair.
She's unique.
And she's good.
And she hasn't given up. Ever. For years she's been going to auditions, and making a living, as an actor. She doesn't exactly have a star on Canada's Walk of Fame (yet), but she's slowly making a name for herself. I've turned on the tv a few times lately and said "hey! It's Stef!"
As she's plugged away she's gotten somewhere. And it's exciting.
And even more exciting ... on Sunday she leaves for LA, to meet an agent thanks to a recommendation from someone who lives in LA. You know, someone who recognized her talents and is helping her get somewhere.
I couldn't be prouder!!!!
So, next week, think of my friend and send her the best wishes possible. I know I will be (even though I have to admit that it would suck if she moved there. Well, okay, not exactly, if she moves there and has the money to fly me in to visit ... that would not suck!)
Go get 'em Stef!!!

When Cats Bathe

Tonight when Matty had a bath, Rosie Rose Petal decided to join him.




There were several unsure moments and then ...


In she went. I only got one picture before she hopped back out.
You'd think the cat would learn. This is not her first swimming experience. And, she ALWAYS gets splashed when she is anywhere near the vicinity of Matt's bath.

Ahhhh ... you've gotta love cats!!!
You'd never get a picture of Mojo in the bath - she steers clear of the water as much as possible.

And, in other pet related news, when we got home tonight one of neighbour's dogs was roaming around. He is the sweetest Jack Russel. He came running up to us when he saw us walking down the path, and then tried to follow the boys to the grocery store.
His owner (who is always right there) was nowhere to be seen.
And, then the dog ran on to the road. It's a busyish road, and some cars luckily swerved to avoid him. I decided to bring the dog home. I just told him to come and he walked right with me. It turned out that the screen on his door came loose and the dog hopped right through the screen. It was one of those moments where you just feel good about life.
Everything was fine. His owner was really sweet about it too.

What would YOU do?

On the weekend I went to a garage sale.
It was great.
My nieces are really into Polly Pocket, and a family was selling about 3 or 4 Polly Pocket sets for $10. I was totally excited. I scooped up the box and off we went.
They were a really nice family. They threw in extra toys for free. They even helped my son catch some bugs in a bug catcher we were buying. So this was Saturday.
On Sunday Matthew and I met my sister's family for coffee and breakfast at this little bakery we go to. We brought all the Polly Pockets in and set everything up on one of the tables. (It's a really big space, and the staff had no problem with this).
The coolest of all was a Polly Pocket "Snow Cool Hotel". This thing is really neat. It's got a hotel and a little store and a snow hill where the dolls ski down.

And it's got a working skating rink. That's right. The skating rink works. How? With Magnets.
And, the entire time we were all enthralled with this hotel we didn't think anything about the magnets. It was pretty cool making little tiny dolls skate. (Admittedly, I think my sister, brother-in-law and I were more into this than the kids).
And then today my sister called me.
You know the magnets that make the thing so cool. They are lethal. This playset has been recalled! Just to be clear - I don't blame the family who sold it. The woman teaches grade one and was super nice. I'm guessing she didn't know.
Neither did I!
The playset currently resides in my parents' basement. We often bring over toys for the kids to have there.
So, now my sister and I are debating. The truth is - the magnets are in the skates so we could just take them away. Or supervise. We really like the toy.
But, then, if we return it we'll get more money back which we could totally put towards something safer. Plus, we'll have essentially made money on a garage sale toy. I sort of feel bad about that. But, not really.
And then there's the bother. I don't really think that the kids will swallow the magnets. I think we're pretty safe. But, there's always the chance...
I don't know.
What would you do?
I have to admit, now that I've written this out I'm probably going to call my mom to tell her - and we'll return it.
But, thinking of all the little pieces .... It will take hours!!!

Not Quite As Planned

Last night our family went to a wedding reception.
It was the kind of cool, swanky wedding receptions that people have when they aren't 23 years old and trying to meet everyone's expectations, including their own, of the perfect wedding. There was no seating chart, no banquet hall, no dance, no huge announcements of the wedding party.
It was a stand up affair where everyone ate high end yummy appetizers and there was babysitting for kids.
And outside there was this french fry making station and they just kept handing out the world's yummiest fries.
It was pretty cool.
Except that Matt did not want to stay in the kids room, or with us or anywhere. He wanted to RUN. Mike was hot. I was feeling a little ill. And I wore stupid shoes that hurt. I should have worn running shoes to chase Matthew.
We didn't stay as long as we had planned.
We barely made it to dinner.
And when Matthew jumped in front of the long line of people to grab food with his hands (again, these were swanky uber-cool people he jumped in front of) I knew it was time to leave. It was that or lose my mind ... and temper.
My parents tried to help out. They offered to take Matt for a walk. But, the truth was I had totally worked myself up, I was kind of freaking because Matt was refusing to go to the bathroom.
So we left.
I'm okay with this.
I've learned in the past 3 years that when Matthew gets started and gets me started it's better to remove myself from a situation than to drag everyone down with me. When I feel myself close to tears I walk.
Truthfully it's partly because when I just.can't.control my child, no matter what I try, I revert back to this feeling of complete parental insecurity. I try. I try to be strict and I try to be nice and it doesn't work.
And then I realize that maybe, just maybe, it's not my parenting but the fact that it's a situation that Matt doesn't do well in. And that's okay. (I told our daycare teacher the other day about how much I hated gymnastics because Matt had a meltdown every week. She told me that was probably just him letting me know it's too much for him. good point).
So we left.
After an hour.
And then we went home. Of course the Gardiner (the highway that gets from the reception venue to our house) was closed. Mike opted for the Lakeshore. And then we drove down to the street right next to the lake. Both were extremely slow.
The truth was NONE of us minded.
It boggles my mind how we were all a little nuts at a beautiful reception with yummy food and good music, but put us in a van that isn't moving and we're having a great time, laughing, singing along with the music and basically chilling.
Until Matt announce "I need to pee on the potty. NOW"
CRAP!!!!
We were stuck in traffic. As we had been for an hour. Luckily I spied a Shoppers Drug Mart. They don't generally have public bathrooms, but I figured I could ask. So, I took Matt out of the van (Mike didn't have to pull over - we weren't going anywhere) and we ran to shoppers to beg for a bathroom.
We were in luck. The manager came and brought us to the bathroom. And, we made it just in time. And, thank goodness we did because Matt needed to do both #1 and #2. And that would have been messy.
And, I realized this was one of the first times that Matt told us he needed to use the bathroom as opposed to us dragging him. I think he's afraid of having an accident in the van.
Of course, Matt and I both realized we were hungry and thirsty, so after choosing drinks and snacks we went out and eventually we found Mike. He'd done some sort of bizarre turn and was fuming in the car thanks to the traffic.
We decided to try another route where we were also stuck in traffic. But, it was fine.
I took pictures. Matt ate about 5 rice krispie treats and eventually made it home. I realized Mike was about to snap, and we were all still a little hungry so we stopped at Mcdonald's for a 9:15 dinner.
All in all a nice evening.
Not what we planned. But, you know, sometimes the best things in life are the things that happen unexpectedly.

Austism Awareness

Ever since I've had my son, I've heard a lot more about autism. It's something that a lot of parents fear, but seems to be a lot more prevalent, or at least discussed a lot more in recent years. When I was growing up I didn't know anyone who was autistic. I'm not sure why. But, as my son is growing up autism has already touched his life.
One of Matthew's friends at his previous daycare was autistic. As I got to see this little girl on a daily basis and later met her mom, it actually put a face and a personality to something I had only ever read about. Her mom spoke not only of the challenges she faced but of her extreme love for her child.
Recently, my blogging friend, AndreAnna, wrote a post about her friend's child who has autism. It was beautifully written. So, today I'll spare you hearing about our toilet training joys and instead share a link with you.
Happy Friday.
http://www.diaryofadiaperingmadwoman.com/2007/09/1-in-150.html

Halloween

Guess what we realized today?
Halloween is coming up. As in, it's right around the corner. And I am not yet prepared!
This would not be a big deal for many people, but because Halloween is pretty much the only time I get out my sewing machine I need to plan ahead. And, I'm not the best sewer which means that I may end up re-stitching the costume a few times.
So I decided to ask Matt what he wants to be for Halloween.
The answer is he wants to be either Lightning McQueen or our New VAN!

Right.
Helpful.
I decided to look up Lightning McQueen costumes online. Guess what? They suck. And they are expensive to buy. I refuse to buy a crappy costume for $40 when I can get a cool light up Spiderman costume at Costco for $30.
And you see, this is why I will make it. The problem is, in the past Matt has been easy going. He was Eeyore one year and that costume was a relatively easy pattern.
But a vehicle?
I am clueless.
So, now we have to implement a plan of attack.
I'm thinking of trying to change his mind. For some reason he's really into pirates. So, I'm thinking that maybe I will try to convince him to go the pirate route and see if I could make that.
Or, maybe I'll search the internet and come up with something even neater.
All I know is that I LOVE halloween. I'm trying to come up with something for me!!! And, of course I'm taking the day off.
LOVE Halloween!!!!

Toilet Training in a Day?

Okay
Not quite.
But, this toilet training endeavour has gone better than I could ever have expected. I should back up and explain that Matt is 3 and a half, and about a year ago we decided to try potty training. And then 6 months ago we decided to try it. And we've had a potty for at least 2 years.
It's not like we're toilet training gurus.
But, this time it seems to really be working.
We started toilet training last Monday. We agreed with the daycare that we would all be on board and all support it. And then we got Matthew on board. I'm not sure how. I guess he was just ready to be a "big boy". His friends are in underwear so he wanted to try it out.
Truthfully, I think his body has been ready for a good year. He wakes up dry pretty much every day. And, he has been telling us for ages when he is peeing or pooping. He also just kept telling us that he "loves peeing in a diaper".
And, when your child is as stubborn as Matt it's hard to fight with that.
But, his stubborness is now working for us because he has decided that he is not going to have accidents.
For the last 3 days he has been accident free. He's telling us when he needs to go to the bathroom and willingly goes when we remind him. It's bizarre.
We decided to try bribery using licorice and stickers. He wants none of it. Really he just doesn't care. This morning I brought him licorice for peeing on the toilet and he said "I don't need it, Mommy. I'm a big boy now."
Tonight he convinced us he needs to wear underwear to bed.
Neither of us was really keen on the idea, but it seemed a little weird to say no to our child asking us to wear underwear.
I'm seeing an end to diapers. I really am!!!!!

A LOOOONG weekend

This weekend has been a little weird.
I took a couple of extra days off to clean and relax and I did neither. One day (Thursday) I spent running around and the next I hung out with Matthew. I was kind of planning to take Friday to myself, but when Matt realized that I was staying home he asked to hang out with me. And, so I said sure. He decided he wanted to chill and watch Treehouse, and even though I don't like to let him do that all day, I gave him.
And then yesterday (Saturday) we had big plans of going for a GO Train ride. The thing is, I was sick. It was weird. I got up, had breakfast, and then started to feel really crappy. So, I got Mike out of bed to hang out with Matt while I had a bath. I NEVER get the flu - seriously, I get plagued with colds and allergies, but I'm rarely sick. But, I was. I got out of the bath and decided to go back to bed. I slept till almost 2. I haven't done that in years. It was pretty random. It kind of freaked Mike out to the point that he went and got me chicken noodle soup from the grocery store. And then we all basically hung out, watching tv and just doing very little.
And, before long Mike admitted that he had a headache. And then Matt said he had a tummy ache.
By about 8, Matt had a huge fever and was just crying because he felt crappy.
Nothing could really calm him down - we even pulled out the magic cure-all in our house ... a Bottle of Chocolate Milk. He just looked at it and cried some more. This was not like Matt. We finally solved the problem by letting him sleep in our bed with the kitten. Both of the cats seemed to know he wasn't well because they were by his side all night. When we eventually moved him into his bed the cats followed.
But today everyone seems a little better. None of us feel like doing much. Mike's been offering van rides, but we can't seem to get it together enough to get dressed and go anywhere. It's very unlike us.
The funny thing is, this little break has done us all a world of good. We've hung out all together and relaxed. We've watched about 10 million episodes of Bob the Builder. And we've alternated between tvo kids and treehouse non-stop (based on the annoying level of the show).
But tonight we will all get dressed and go out to my parents' place for my dad's birthday. In my completely healthy state I bought salmon and marinated it with all sorts of herbs and lime, but I have to admit that I'm not exactly sure if I will eat it! So, it may be birthday cake for us and nothing else. But, I'm sure the evening will be fun and Matt will enjoy playing with his cousins.
It's funny how life is never how you plan it!

I'm Officially Old ...

I'm not even 30. I have only 1 child.
And today we picked up our new minivan!!!
I will spare you all of the details. But, the long and short of it is that our beloved Sunfire was not doing so well.
It was only 6 years old, but I bought that car almost immediately after getting my license. The poor car has been driven into parking garage poles, parking metres, garbage cans, drive thru signs, etc.
Oh, and my beloved husband (not me) has rear ended someone in it.
And, we kind of stopped doing regular oil changes. Routine maintenance kind of went by the wayside too. We wanted a newer car. A better car.
And then we test drove mini vans.
It was love at first test drive.
Matthew loves that there are 5 seats for him to choose from. And, if we ever decide to have quadruplets we're set!!!!
He also loves the roof racks. So does Mike. I don't quite get the roof rack appeal but who am I to argue?
I'm just a little scared about my driving ability. I had mastered the parallel park in the Sunfire thanks to using mirrors. In fact I can parallel park most cars. Vans ... we'll have to see. I was a little too worried to even go through the Starbucks drive-thru today. (despite the fact that I could show off my power windows. I know - I'm a dork!
And, as for Matt ... He's still quite content riding his "motorcycle" (usually he wears a helmet)

A Day Off ...

So what would you do on a day off?
If you were me you wouldn't take it easy. No. Not all All!
First of all, I woke up early - not my usual 5am, but about 6:30. Thank goodness because our alarm clock is broken.
And then the day went from there.

Once I'd drop the boys off at daycare (Matt) and work (Mike) I went to visit a new daycare. I'm really happy with our current daycare and I'm not about to switch him. But, this daycare is new, and I wanted to check it out. I've been debating what we will do when Matty is in junior kindergarten and I wanted to see some options. (this place has a full day school program). Anyway, it was really nice. I think if it had been open when we were looking at daycares it would be have been a tough choice between that and what we chose. It was that nice. And they have fair rates.

But, the visit was nice and quick so I called my sister to see what she was up to. She was having coffee with one of my nieces and her friend and daughter. So, I went to join them for a coffee. It was a nice surprise visit and there was a lots of excitement outside with fire trucks and ambulances outside.

And then , the highlight of my day, a visit to the dentist! It's been way too long since I got a cleaning and I finally booked one and actually went. It really has been 5 years since I have had my teeth cleaned. I really hate it. But this experience went just fine. I had a great hygeniest and after we chatted a bit she suggested that we split it into 2 sessions and skip the flouride treatment (since that's what I dread). So all in all it was fine. Apparently dental technology is vastly improved since they now have some water device that eliminates all the scraping. And, she didn't discover any cavities. Phew.

So ... of course the day continued when my mom met me and we went for lunch and then a couple of hours of shopping at Costco. Would you believe my mom had NEVER been to Costco? Seriously. We had a nice time. It was quiet there so we were able to shop quickly and enjoy it.

And, then I finally got home to have a break and then suddenly decided to make shepherd's pie. So, i went to the grocery store and then whipped it up before I picked up the boys. I actually fell asleep after dinner.

Really, tomorrow. I will take it much easier!

Work

I don't tend to post a lot about work.
It's not because I don't enjoy work. In fact, I really enjoy my job. I'm one of the few people who can say that she has a great boss, and all the "bosses" on up to our CEO are people that I enjoy. And, a lot of the people that I don't directly report to, but I work with or around, I mostly like them too.
I also like my job.
But here's the thing. My job was sort of kind of lacking in definition for awhile. I love having the kind of job where I never know what's coming next. I would HATE it if I could tell you what I will be doing every minute of every day.
But, I got a little frustrated by not having one specific project that was mine to sink my teeth into and have some control over.
So I brought this up - a few times.
And voila - I got more responsibility.
Are you prepared to laugh???? I got handed the job of webmaster for the new intranet site we're developing. Seriously.
I'm laughing because figuring out how to put a link in blogger took me months. If you're wondering why you are not on my side bar, it's likely because I find it difficult and usually screw up the code and have to get my husband to fix it.
So, when my boss told me my new responsibility I had one of those moments of sheer gratitude that someone had that much belief in me and yet sheer panic that this was something I could NOT do. I didn't have much time to think about it because I ended up going to meetings and being thrown into the deep end of things.
That was a month ago.
And ... I'm loving it.
I should explain that I don't do the technical stuff. I'm still slowly learning the difference between searching and browsing and what a portal is. I never understood the importance of a site map and now I do. And I'm figuring out programs that I have never used before.
And then today I had a conference call. And that conference call was one where I had to make decisions and judgement calls and set up timelines without my trusty boss (and, admittedly really good friend, but in this case that's an aside) sitting there agreeing with me.
And then there was a moment - the technical guy started talking about analytics, and discussing the role that google analytics could play. And in that moment I realized that I understood. And I was able to contribute.
And I even made some good points and suggestions.
And today I realized that sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. There are some things I'm good at and I pride myself on them. But, sometimes I limit myself and think I can't do something. And, it takes being thrown in to realize that fears can be pretty stupid.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm going to quit my job and become a website designer. But, I do think that I'm going to embrace some of this technology and realize that I need to limit myself a little less.
And really, one of these days I'll update those links.

Seniors Night with Our Preschooler

We thought tonight was kids eat free night at our local buffet restaurant.
Suffering from all of us being starving, a meeting that we had to go to directly after work, and the knowledge that we had neither fresh dinner food nor clean dishes we decided to pack it in and go out for dinner.
About 2 minutes from the restaurant Matthew told us he would rather be at home or at McDonalds. But we persevered. We're all about kids eating free.
Too bad it was SENIORS night.
Let me paint you a picture.
We walk in. The place is packed with seniors there for a good deal. Seniors who believe that children should be seen and not heard.
We enter with a precocious three year old who decides to announce that he is wearing UNDERWEAR because he is a BIG BOY! He then proceeds to carry a booster seat throughout the restaurant to where we are seated.
And then when we release him to the buffet (with the instruction to stick with us and not push) he makes a very artistic beeline to to whipped cream display narrowly avoiding several people with canes.
Both Mike and I tried to chase after him not being able to so easily avoid the seniors and ended up shouting across the buffet section "WALKING FEET AND DON'T TOUCH" while praying that he did not shove his hand in the whipped cream.
This was all in the first five minutes.
The evening wasn't all that bad.
Once Matt calmed down and realized that he was scaring the elderly he relaxed. He started to listen to us and stayed in his seat. He had a lovely chat with the waiter. And the entire restaurant probably now knows that he is toilet training and wears big boy underwear now. He thankfully didn't have an accident.
And bonus! The waiter didn't end up charging him for his meal so I guess it was kids night after all!
And, oh yeah. Day 2. He's doing really well using the potty. He talks about it non-stop. He is proud of himself.
We're pretty proud too!!!

Toilet Training - Day 1

So by some miracle, Matthew has bought into this whole toilet=big boy idea.
I am getting excited.
Day one of the toilet training challenge went really well. It's like he decided to cooperate with us today. He got out of bed and went to the potty without an argument. And then he chose his underwear (it was a bob the builder day).
He not only tried to pee twice before we left, but when we got to the GO station he decided that he wanted to try out the train station bathroom. (actually, it was surprisingly clean).
He did really well all day.
He had a couple of accidents, but all in all he was into it. He went to the bathroom by choice, and was pretty excited to be wearing his Cars underwear at the end of the day.
So we decided that we are going to give him a pretty cool reward this weekend. If he stays consistent with his training (by that we mean he doesn't fight with us or his teachers when it's time to use the potty, and if he doesn't purposely have an accident) then on Saturday he gets to go on a GO Train ride.
To Matt GO train rides are one of the coolest treats in the world. We've decided that we'll hop on the train in the morning, maybe grab ice cream or lunch and then come back home in the afternoon. Because I have a monthly pass I can bring Mike on the train for FREE (on a weekend) so it's actually a really cheap and fun treat. The other great part of it is that the CNE is on in Toronto, so there will be lots of other kids on the train. I know it's a bit of a hassle usually, but Matty can be a little noisy or crazy and it won't really matter. I like that.
Besides ... I'm sure he will be THRILLED to use the potty on the train. When we took the train to Montreal I think the visit to the bathroom was the highlight.
I know this will be a long road to being potty trained, but I have to admit, I'm kind of looking forward to the end result.

Breastfeeding - Don't like it? Suck it.

For the last few weeks I have been following the stories (this is an excellent summary) about breastfeeding mothers and some of the challenges they have faced. From a local woman being asked to cover up at a YMCA pool deck to a Canadian being kicked off Facebook for showing a picture of her baby nursing to a woman in the States being asked to cover up at Appleby's and finally Bill Maher's opinion of it all - it seems that breastfeeding has been in the news a lot.

Personally breastfeeding was a funny stage for me. I found it very personal. Some of my friends would show me pictures of their babies at the breast and though I thought the pictures were lovely I never took those pictures myself. Of course I was comfortable taking my top off when I was home with just my baby or my husband and baby. But if anyone was there I was covered.

Still I was not hesitant to breastfeed in public. Give me a nursing blanket and I was good. I got to the point where I would nurse in malls and restaurants. I liked the freedom. Matt ate a lot. If I only breastfed in the privacy of my home, I would never have left. The child ate on the hour.

Bottom line - I think that the protection of breastfeeding mothers is extremely important. And, I can honestly say that I was never asked to leave a location or not attend any event due to having a nursing child.

So when all of this latest controversy came up I was sympathetic but I couldn't exactly relate.

That is until a couple days ago when I received an e-mail. Someone I know is getting married and wanted to know if I would still be breastfeeding at her wedding (when my future child is about 8 weeks old). I had an honest answer - I don't know. I'm not sure if I will nurse baby #2 or if I do for how long. But, I assured her, it's not like I would whip out a boob while she was walking down the aisle. I wasn't sure how else to respond. She's never seen me in the role of mother, so I guess she felt justified in asking me about my breastfeeding habits.

But apparently, my understanding was a little off - her response was that the infant is not welcome - so unless he or she can go without nursing (for close to 10 hours when you add in travel time and the length of the wedding) I have been asked to uninvite myself.

I am shocked. I am outraged. And quite honestly I am surprised at the utter tackiness of the request.

Sorry - if you are too shackled to your infant don't bother attending. Not welcome.

The bigger message to me - breastfeeding will ruin "my day" and you must be kidding if you think you would bring a newborn with you. So, do me a favour and wean - or bottle feed - or pump ... but don't bring that appendage that you may be sustaining with your breasts. That would be uncouth, and "other guests wouldn't understand".

The more I think about it the angrier I get. A wedding is a one-day event. Am I supposed to wean my child - and possibly affect this child's health (not to mention my budget and let's be honest my post-partum weight loss) so that I don't potentially ruin some bride's day? And does this person really think that I would ruin her day by doing something she deems inappropriate (breastfeeding) or letting my child scream?

Her response - that obviously this is any issue so she has to talk to her fiance about it. Why - to ask his opinion on whether or not i should wean my child???? To see if her words were offensive. So that he can give a verdict on whether or not someone you just effectively uninvited is now welcome?

Her issue, really is that she doesn't want any children there. As I said to her, there is a huge difference between a child that needs to be near its mother to survive and a family that isn't willing to shell out for a babysitter.

Truthfully, I understand that she doesn't want children there. And, perhaps my assuming that it was understood that a newborn who is exclusively nursing was inappropriate. But, to bring breastfeeding into it - and to ask me not to come if I am???? Disgusting. Inappropriate and downright tacky. And yes, I did reply. In a lengthy e-mail. And, as far as I know she is no longer talking to me. And, as much as I care, I kind of don't. Because there are some things I'm willing to stand up for - such as the right to breastfeed - and the fact that if you have a problem with it, or with me, say it nicely. Don't send me an e-mail implying that my thought of bringing an infant to a wedding is a joke.

Welcome to 2007, friends.

I get it - I truly understand she doesn't want my child there. And believe me I have already let her know that we will not be there. But as for me and my breasts - that is my business and no one else's.

Wish Us Luck

As discussed by Matt's daycare teacher and myself, tomorrow is Day 1 of potty training.
What? You think you have read that we were potty training before.
That's right. You have. But, I have potentially the world's MOST stubborn child. And he likes his pull ups and diapers.
He knows when he has to pee and poo. In fact he will tell me when he has to pee and poo. He just refuses to do it in the potty or toilet.
And this stubborn streak is getting worse.
When we say big boys wear diapers he says "well, I'm a baby."
And on and on.
I'm thinking the toilet training may kill me.
Mike and I are well aware that this will put a strain on our marriage. So, we're hoping we get this done pretty quickly. It's all hands on deck and the diapers are being hidden.
Bedtime only - though he doesn't need to wear a diaper at bedtime. He is always dry in the morning.
I have a feeling that these next few weeks will be a battle of the wills. Fun.
We went to Walmart and stocked up on toilet paper and underwear.
I'm thinking we probably should have stopped at the liquor store too.
The one thing they told us is that we need some sort of bribery treat. Guess what we chose? GUM! I know. I think that may make us somewhat bad parents. But, it's the only thing that works. Well, that or a bottle of chocolate milk, but I'm pretty sure that there's something wrong with rewarding our preschooler with a bottle for being a big boy.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Today is rainy and yucky and none of us feel like doing much outside of the house.
So, I have decided to bake today.
When I say I've decided to bake - I mean BAKE.
I don't mean my usual habit of buying a muffin mix and adding an egg. Nope. I went out and bought ingredients, and I started whipping stuff up.
So far I've made banana bread (and Matty was an incredible banana masher). I've peach/blueberry crisp, and I've made chocolate chip cookies. It turns out that Matthew loves baking with me.
Between the mixing, the sampling and the rolling of cookies we have been in major production this morning.
Meanwhile, Mike has been finishing up our bedroom. He's done sanding and now he's painting the part of the room that I couldn't do because the dry wall goo had to set and dry.
It looks like by the end of the weekend we will have full stomachs and a re-done bedroom.
And, in the middle of all of it I plan to take a nice long nap and enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with a lazy Saturday.
Matthew has decided that he wants to chill and watch television today. Normally I try to get him out and active. But, today ...
I think it's the perfect day to eat popcorn and watch some favourite tv. Sometimes he snuggles up with me to watch a favourite show. Sometimes Rosie cuddles up with him to watch tv, and sometimes he's been pulling his toys out and just enjoying life.
Maybe this isn't the best parenting tactic. But, honestly, I think it's what we all need this weekend. There are always other weekends to get out and do stuff.
I had actually debated going to the CNE today, but I realized that the last thing in the world ANY of us feel like doing. So why try???
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I'll be spending the afternoon at a wedding shower, a very cool shower for a childhood friend that I rarely get to see - and I can't wait. And, though I probably shouldn't admit this, I'm also excited because she's the world's most amazing chef at a pretty well known restaurant, and her catering company is catering it ... yummy!
So here's to quiet summer days and a little relaxation.
And, if anyone wants some baking ... you know who to call!

Grrr ...

I try not to be bothered too much by people who are just annoying. However.
Do you know what really bugs me? People who are overly judgemental and don't know what they are speaking about.
I had a conversation with someone about kids the other day. It came up in conversation that when I had my child it was a difficult time. I don't talk much about it. Really, I'm not one of those people who wants to share their birth story.
But it wasn't pretty. I don't dwell, but it still angers me a little. What I will say is that having a tough birth (and I know I'm not alone) made for a tough start as a mom.
I had anticipated being that mom who has coffee with her friends while her adorable baby sleeps in the stroller next to her.
Ha.
The first time I had a post-baby coffee outside of my home was when Matt was 6 weeks and my mom took me out to Starbucks. He screamed so much that I insisted on going back to the car because so many people were staring.
My point is this: before Matthew I was the type of person who was up for just about anything. I rarely take a sick day. I was just a generally strong person.
This child has been kicking my butt since day one.
And, I'm a better person for it. I'm way more empathetic and kind. I'm grateful.
But, this person told me that no matter how hard the birth is, it's all in the attitude. If you decide you can get up and go out and conquer the world you can.
It's all in attitude.
Who cares that breastfeeding is hard - you're just a wimp.
Usually I let these things pass. But this really annoyed me. Today I am still annoyed. I feel much better having written this. But still.
Grrr....
Keep your opinions to yourself.

3k ... woo hoo!

Last night Matthew and I decided to go on a bike ride. Well, he went for a bike ride and I walked/jogged and stopped a lot according to his pace.
It was fun.
My sister mentioned that my nieces wanted to see Matt, and I've been trying to get back to working out consistently. So, I figured that we may as well walk to their house. I learned from running that their house was exactly 3km away from us, so it was a really nice running distance for me. (I know, for some people that's a warm up).
I figured that now that Matthew really likes riding his trike, or as he calls it his motorcycle, it would be a fun adventure.
It really was.
We took about half an hour - which is pretty good considering that we walked through every.single.bus shelter, looked at several different cars, and sang about 20 rounds of B-I-N-G-O and Old Macdonald.
I have to admit, by the time I got to my sister's house I was feeling pretty good about things. We had a fun walk, we sang, we hung out - and I was getting coffee when I got there.
Little does my sister know that we will likely do this over and over and over again. Luckily she has a van with a car seat that fits Matt perfectly, so we were able to throw his trike in the trunk and she drove us home.
It was pretty nice.
And, I'm really impressed that Matt was able to go 3 k. In all honesty, I think he would have happily ridden all the way back. That child does not tire.

Corn Muffins ...

I've been on a bit of an eating healthy quest.
I wouldn't call it obsessive, but I've been encouraging my family to eat healthier. We've had tons of fruit and vegetables lately and we're trying to make sure that our bread is whole wheat not white, etc.(10 trips to Ben & Jerry's in 7 days is the exception to this!!!)
So, when I was in the grocery store the other day I decided it was time to kick my new found Tim Horton's muffin addiction. For the last few weeks I'd been ordering a chocolate chip muffin when I got my decaf coffee.
So, I decided to buy the organic corn muffin mix.
Yum yum.
Okay, so I have to admit that I didn't really make them organic because you're supposed to add an organic egg and organic oil to the mix. (should have read that part). But whatever. My heart was in the right place.
Matthew helped me whip up the muffins, and I promised he could have one for breakfast.
So, today I got up nice and early and cut up strawberries for him. And then I got him a muffin.
I went back into the kitchen and I heard a blood curdling scream. I ran out thinking maybe one of the cats had hurt him or something.
There he was sobbing. Before I could even ask he shouted between sobs "Mommy! You gave me yucky food. whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?"
The poor child looked like he had been poisoned and was so disgusted by these muffins that he needed to immediately spit it out.
Oops.
I think I'll stick to cereal or maybe find a new package.
So much for going healthy!

Paint, Dog and More about Moi

We continued on our quest to update our house this weekend.
On Saturday we tackled our bedroom. By tackled I mean Mike cut chunks of our bedroom wall out in order to move electrical work. At one point we could see outside. It was a little unreal. The purpose of moving the electrical was to build a new closet for our bedroom.
While Mike built, I primed and painted about 3/4 of our room. It was FANTASTIC to get rid of the horrible pink walls. Or at least 3/4 of them.
The other quarter will be painted soon, once the dry wall mud (?) dries and Mike sands. We still haven't figured out if we're going to get a closet system (with all of the shelves, etc) or if we want just basic rods. Oh! The decisions. For now Mike's clothes are still all upstairs in the current bedroom closet (which will be closed off at a later date). And all mine are downstairs in my lovely closet. Baby steps.
I'm honestly the most excited about hanging my vermont artwork. I showed the photos to my parents who were really quite impressed with them.
And, what did Matthew do while we were doing our home renovations? He went on two different hikes with my parents. So, he had a good weekend too. That, and Treehouse did a great job of entertaining him.

Speaking of television ... we recently got DVR which is kind of like tivo. This means that we can tape all sorts of shows - and all the episodes of the show. Here's something most people don't know about me - I LOVE Dog the Bounty Hunter. (don't ask - though there are loads of closet Dog fans out there). And, since we've been recording every episode I've been watching it a lot. So much so that I've had dreams that I'm being hunted down by Dog and Beth. And I keep dreaming Leland is my best friend. I KNOW. Weird. I actually woke up pretty hysterical on Friday night because I was so scared by the dream. I must stop watching this show!

And, Finally ...


One of the best things about blogging, I think, is learning more about other people. It fascinates me to read their opinions and interests. So, when AndreAnna of Diapering Madwoman offered to ask me some questions - I was game. Here are her questions ...

1) You're a working mom like me. Do you find yourself defending this choice often or do people accept the path you've chosen?
I've found myself defending this less and less as Matthew gets older. When Matt was little and I first went back to work it was really hard on me - and so I think every time someone commented I was totally hurt and felt I had to defend myself. I also think that when you're around other moms who are also deciding what they will do everyone shares their opinion. It's a little daunting.
As I have become more comfortable with it I've realized that if someone has an issue with it that's their problem. I think no matter what choice you make (stay at home, work part time or work part-time ... not to mention your child care choice) if you are confident in it people will leave you alone.
Plus, I've also surrounded myself with other moms who understand my decision. That's not to say all my friends have chosen to go back to work, but thy have embraced the decision they have made and don't judge.
But, I am truly in awe of SAHMs!!!!

2) What is your favorite form of exercise?
Good question! I enjoyed running a lot - not in the sense that I'd become a marathon runner, but I got an amazing sense of achievement from it, and occasionally an adrenaline high. I've taken a break from it for some, shall we say, personal reasons, but will hopefully take it up next spring.
I LOVE yoga, and I think I'll start it again in the fall.
And, while I'm on the topic, I LOATHE pilates and suck at any classes that involve much rhythm. I can proudly say that I was so bad at step class that I actually have thrown teachers off. I love the idea of group exercise, but I think I frighten people.

3) What kid show do you hate and wish they would stop airing?
Big Comfy Couch - I cannot stand "Lunette and Molly, a clown and her dolly ..." I really, really can't. The whole show bugs me. And the bizarro stretching clock thing she does is frightening. Plus, her ten-second-tidy up involves throwing things under the couch which is a ridiculous thing to teach children. She needs some bins or something.
Do you even have this show in the States?
Otherwise, Max and Ruby. Do not get me started.
I have to admit, I love WonderPets and sometimes watch with Matt because it's cute.

4) Do you like being a Canadian? Anything the US offers that you think you miss out on? (Other than fluff?)
I love being Canadian. There are some great things that I really appreciate like good health care, and gay marriage.
However, I love Vermont. I'm not sure if that really answers your question, but we don't have a province here that is equal to Vermont. I think if I could I would move there. And, I know my family would come visit because they love it too. I actually have debated buying a timeshare at Trapp Family Lodge - I think it may be one thing I would regret not doing in the future. I love it that much.
And, fluff!!!
(actually, my husband says that we do have fluff here, it's just that I was raised by a health nut mom and a marshmallow hating dad, so as if they would have even thought to buy it!!!)
Oh, and of course CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!!

5) Are you a girly girl or more of a tom boy?
This is easy. I am a total girly girl. I love pink, I love makeup and jewelry and clothes and shopping. I really didn't like gym class. I hate things like camping and climbing trees and building stuff. I'm definitely a girly girl!

If you'd like to play, here are the rules, copied from AndreAnna's page.

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Friends

I've written a lot about my friend Ginny on my blog.
I truly believe she's the mom friend that everyone needs - the one who seeks you out, helps keep you sane and doesn't judge you on your decision.
The thing is, what made our friendship so easy at first was that we lived so close to each other. We lived in the same condo, on the same floor. We could pick up the phone and literally meet in the hallway 30 seconds later. So much of our experience was common - we shopped at the same grocery store, we attended the same playgroups, we had the same issues with a crazy property manager (who tried to make us sing Abba at Christmas parties).
And then things changed.
Within a couple weeks I moved out of the condo (not for good) and Ginny went back to work. Then I went back to work. Then I moved back to the condo. Then I moved away from the condo. And now Ginny's family is (finally) moving out of the condo.
Phew.
It's been a whirlwind friendship. And, of all the friendships I've been in, ours has probably seen the most growth literally and figuratively. We've gone from mothers agonizing over whether formula and soothers were tools of the devil (we learned better) to mothers debating whether it's better to put your child in afterschool care or daycare. We discuss the merits of the schools our 3 years olds will attend and whether my son biting me means I'm a bad mother or not.
We've also grown as women. I see both of us as more secure, confident women than we were when we first met.
There's lots I can say on my blog knowing that I won't be judged, but a lot of it I don't say out loud to many people. Ginny is my human sounding board - the person who I know may not agree with me but will most certainly not judge me.
So last night we got together.
Her mom lives near me - and Ginny was in town. I had a free evening. Our kids were taken care of, and so we met at Starbucks.
And, over lattes we shared a bunch of laughs, and reminisced a lot. We talked about the big next steps in her life (moving to a house!!!) and some of the choices I'm making in mine. And, I realized that right now we are at SUCH a different point in our lives in some ways. But, I also realized that as much as she played such a role in my life when we were at a similar point, being at different places and celebrating the differences, and the experiences and the changes with someone who may not be there with you, but certainly GETS IT is pretty freaking wonderful.
The truth is, we don't see each other nearly enough. We can go months with a quick little e-mail just to say we still exist or a hello on Facebook. But, when we do see each other I realize that the friendship we have is the kind that can withstand the craziness of life and making seeing that person just pretty cool.
So, Ginny, congrats on selling, and buying and being where you want to be. I couldn't be prouder!

The Good Things ...

So this week we have been continuing on in our quest to beautify our home. I think as fall approaches and we know it will get cold, we want to make sure the space will be nice for us. (dorky, I know).

Last night we put together a gigantic bookcase. (Expedit from Ikea). We bought all sorts of storage boxes in our brown and pink theme. And then I got extra creative and had these little tins that I put on alternate shelves. We put some magazines on one shelf and I think we're going to put more of Matt's books on another. I'm loving it!!! I'll take pictures when we get all of the crap out of the dining room.

My sister is also dropping off a piece of furniture to me tonight which I will show off when we reorganize the spare room - but that's none too soon. Still, I love seeing stuff come together in our house. It's pretty exciting.

The other exciting thing was that I created my own artwork. I've been really wanting to get some nice art for our bedroom. But, the problem we have is we don't really agree on a lot of stuff. We do both like nice photographs.

So, when I was going through all the shots I took of Vermont, I realized that some turned out beautifully. I never would consider myself a photographer, but when you are somewhere that is absolutely gorgeous, as Vermont is, it's kind of hard to take a bad picture.

I had taken pictures at sunset as well as daytime. So I had a large assortment. I sent them off to be developed into 8x10's.

Surprisingly, the 8x10's turned out really really well. So, for $12 we have artwork. We're going to find some nice frames and that will be the art for the room. Mike thought about enlarging one to a really big size and hanging that. We'll see. But, I love the idea.

I can't wait to show all of the pictures.

Tonight, though, I'm taking a break from all my redecorating to go for lattes with a good friend who I don't see often enough. Is it horrible that I cancelled my dental appointment to hang out with her? Ummm yeah. But as penance I booked a new appointment on my day off next week, so I can feel appropriately guilty then. However, in fairness, it's hard to get to see Ginny since we moved - so it's worth it.

Miscellaneous

Oh how I miss Vermont! This is my sister and I at Ben & Jerry's with our kids. Every year we take a picture here. They go back to when I was about 6 or 7. I think that one day I will write a letter to the people at Ben & jerry's and tell them how much we love them and how we go every year. This ice cream lid has always been there - since I can remember. And, did you know that including scoop shop sales this is the most popular ice cream? (Cherry Garcia is their number one pint seller - FYI)
This is the current state of my hallway. Do you like all the wood? All the boxes? This weekend we are tackling the project of our bedroom. Our current closet sucks - so we are walling it up and creating a nice new large closet that will run the entire width of our room. And we are painting.
The current colour of our room is this horrible pinkish/dusty rose colour. It's horrible. I have decided that just putting up a couple of coats of primer will be far better than living with this colour any longer. To add to the horror of the room is that the woman who lived here before us was a smoker and so the walls are yellowy. (who smokes in bed anymore?) we've tried washing the walls, but the best way to cover smoke is with paint. So that is what we will do.
We also have a firm rule of "no cats in the bedroom" (I'm allergic) so hopefully our room won't be cat hair filled.
After we do our room we're turning our attention to the spare room. But, I'm not sure when. We may get inspired and go for it - at least prime it. But, who knows.


Finally ... The memes. Her Bad Mother posted all the contents of her "bag" (read: purse) and encouraged her readers to do the same. I thought this was kind of fun. And, since I love a good meme - enjoy!

I'm going to from back to front (kind of)
1) My purse. I have many, but this is the one I use most. It holds everything.
2) Back Left - My wallet (Matt & Nat) it's small. I love it
3) Next to wallet - glasses case for prescription sunglasses
4) Next to case - my Coach change purse. Love. (from my sis)
5) Next to change purse - memo from GO Transit apologizing for delays
6) Second Row from Back left - my Blackberry/Crackberry - I love and hate this
7) Tylenol
8) Sunglasses that belong in their case
9) Glasses case (with glasses)
10) Pass for work with pig-like picture of me on it
11) Lypsyl
12) Postcard from Vermont from Matthew to Kalysta - I mailed it this morning!!!
13) 2 Pens
14) A gum wrapper
15) My social girl candy. This makes me laugh - they say on them "I'm an Open Invitation" - and they are cherry flavoured. They were a gift from my parents who didn't read that closely. They make me laugh.
16) change that belongs in my change purse
17) front middle - a second cup 2 for 1 coupon and some wadded up receipts and an old cold pill
18) Photo lab photos from my sister. She's very organized. The pictures are adorable
19) My 2 Shinylicious lip glosses. My current favourites. LOVE.

FINALLY - Haley Tagged me for a meme about my middle name

Basically you just post a relevant fact for each letter of your middle name. As you should know - my middle name is Dawn (as in Laural Dawn). Easy Peasy.

D - daring
A - adventurous
W - wacky
N - noisy

There you have it. And ... I am tagging 4 people since that's how many letters are in my middle name. And, these are people I've never tagged before (or have I?)
I tag: AndreAnna, MandyPoo, MammaLee and Sam

A little less Drama, a little more Laughter

Thankfully the major biting spell in our house is almost over.
I'm not sure what prompted it, though the suggestion that it may be because Mike didn't go on vacation with us or the fact that I've been extra emotional lately may have triggered it.
Who knows.
What I do know is that thankfully Matt has retracted his teeth and is becoming the three-year-old we know and love.
And he's back to his crazy self.
The last couple of nights we've been going on walks. I know I should be at the gym again, or even running, but it's been so nice out lately and I haven't felt like going to the gym. I want to be outside. And, since Matthew is loving riding his trike it has made going for walks much easier.
Believe it or not, 99% of the time Matt listens when we tell him to slow down, he knows not to ride on to the road, and he's not really capable of riding faster than we can run. So, it makes for an enjoyable walk.
Last night's walk/ride was to Starbucks. I was craving an evening coffee - and since I never drink caffeine in the evening, there aren't that many tasty decaf choices out there. And, I thought it would make for a perfect distance which it did.
But, the funniest part of the trip was watching Matt on his trike. He is now attempting to do various tricks. So, he'll stop, pick up his trike like he's doing a jump, and then plop it down. Or, he'll do a crazy spin. Or he'll wobble back and forth. Half the time Mike and I were cracking up. It was so cute.
And, I think I'm also learning with Matt that he needs to be tired out in the evening. We are sometimes guilty of letting him watch tv while we do various things. But, I think we need to get him outside enjoying the weather.
He's already told us the next subdivision he wants to ride through, so I think we may try it out.
Mike wants to get a bike for himself. I'm thinking next year he and Matt will probably be able to go for some bike rides together.
Personally, I can't stand bike riding. So, maybe I'll jog along behind them.
(okay, who am I kidding. Maybe I'll make a cup of coffee and read and let them have some father/son bonding time... so much nicer)

Clean

For the past few weeks I've been on this clean streak.
The problem that I have, which it seems my husabnd and son both have, is that I'm not a naturally neat person.
I have this issue where I'd love a clean house, but I have a hard time achieving it. Mike swears he doesn't see it, and Matthew takes great joy in creating messes all around him.
I'm fine with a house not being perfect. I like people, and myself of course, to feel welcome and comfortable to put their feet up and relax.
But, lately, it's been a lot less comfortable and a lot more messy.
The problem is that we aren't that organized, and so it's really hard to put stuff away somewhere where there is no place to put it. It's making me CRAZY.
So, I'm starting a rather aggressive plan to get this place in shape. I'm sorting, organizing and throwing out.
In fairness, we have lived in this house 8 months, and we have been in transition for the past few years, so we have lived out of boxes a lot. We've accumulated lots of junk.
Lst week I re-did the kitchen and put in a nice new cupboard. Our big plans for re-doing our kitchen are on hold for a bit, so I thought I could at least make some small changes.
Next step - basement.
While Mike took Matt to his parents' place for the day I cleaned, sorted and organized ALL of Matthew's toys. I threw out several bags of broken toys. I spent literally hours. And today I'm tired! But, I'm off to do laundry. FUN times!

Oh The Eyelashes

Last night I went to a Mary Kay party.
It was really quite a nice evening. There were 4 of us trying out glam new looks. We looked beautiful (okay maybe I looked a bit tarty, but whatever).
So, the Mary Kay lady was telling us about the eye makeup remover they have. (It's really good stuff by the way). I was drinking coffee while she was discussing the benefits of this eye makeup remover. Interesting information.
And then she told a story about how she had this client who burned her eyelashes off and how she kept using this eye makeup remover and the minerals in the eye make up remover made her eyelashes grow back.
I choked on my coffee.
Is this funny to anyone but me.
I could hardly hold in the giggles.
I was sitting next to my sister who was like "what's so funny?"
I had to reminder her of when I was missing eyelashes. Why, you may be wondering, was I without eyelashes?
That would be because I trusted my sister to wax my eyebrows. But, when she wasn't paying attention she dripped wax on my eyelashes, and along with my eyebrows came a few lashes. Ouch!
But, funny.
When I recalled that story she started to laugh too. In fact everyone started to crack up (at my trauma, people! You're laughing at my trauma. I kid. I was dying by that point).
All I could think to myself was who would have thought in that agony of having your eyelashes ripped out that you should use your mineral enhanced eye makeup remover to encourage eyelash growth.
And that thought made me giggle even more.
My friend sells Mary Kay. Next time I see her I will have to mention the benefits of the eye makeup remover. Good stuff. I'm thinking I should have some on hand for the next time Beck helps with hair removal.

My 3 Year Old Is Kicking my Butt

Seriously.
I'm beyond tired these days.
I thought that when the "terrible twos" were over and before the f*&%ing fours" began there would be some peace, a nice respite from the terror that can be my son.
I was sorely mistaken.
So, here I am, entering my fifth month of parenting a 3 year old, and I am seriously exhausted. I have tried being strict. I have tried being nice. I have tried ignoring. I have tried bribing. And NOTHING works. Nothing.
One minute he's the sweetest child in the world. He's hugging me and kissing me and telling me how much he loves me. I love that. And all is right with the world.
Then suddenly he turns. And because this insane child. Something sets him off and he goes wild. It's like if I don't work with his schedule and do what he wants then he attacks. Literally.
He has starting biting again. And it hurts.
I tell him no - he bites.
I say it's time to go - he bites.
I offer him candy - he bites.
I'm covered in bruises and my patience is wearing thin.
And it's not just me. Mike feels the same way. Every time Mike turns around Matthew is biting him too. It's gotten to the point where we compare bruises at night. It's not fun. And, keep in mind he's in daycare ALL DAY.
And so on it goes. But, it doesn't help that lately I've been tired and cranky and trying to cut down on caffeine.
So basically, my child is kicking my butt. I'm sure I'll sort this out one day. But today I'm just venting. Cause really, there's not much else today. If anyone has a solution (other than copious amounts of alcohol) please let me know ...

Back from Vacation

I'm back from vacation - 8 days with my son, my parents, my sister and her family.
I'm exhausted.
There's so much I have to talk about. There's the beauty of the mountains, the fun I had with Matthew and my family, the things we did, the meltdowns that occurred, the yummy food we ate and how I cannot imagine being a single parent to a 3-year old.
But, I'm tired.
This week wore me out.
Specifically, travelling by rental car and via train from Vermont to Toronto (in 13 hours) with heavy baggage has kicked my butt and rendered me exhausted. And, of course I came back home and decided to reorganize the kitchen. (don't ask).
Maybe tomorrow I will download some pictures, and talk about my travels.
But for now I will leave you with some of the highlights:

• Our first night of swimming - the kids found those rings that you throw in the water and then dive for. In her excitement my sister threw it to me, missed completely and whacked my mom in the head. Once we knew my mom was okay, my mom, sister and I could not stop giggling over my dad's comment of "it's okay, dear. Becky didn't mean to hit you. We all know she has horrible aim."
• Matthew and Kyla discovered that I could burp words. We were all floating in the pool, right before bedtime and they would give me a word and I would burp it for them. Hot!
• We went on the Ben and Jerry's factory tour 2 times, and went to Ben and Jerry's 10 times. (Matt went 11 times). We didn't have ice cream every time.
  
• I now have an ice cream cone tattoo on my ankle (it's airbrushed - not permanent)
• Matt having a new found obsession with the word "butt". Really - where did that come from?
• Walking on the recreation path. Who knew my child loved nature so much?

Okay. I'm done for tonight. Pictures to come.

Guest Post #3 - In which her hubby attempts to write something...

It's incredible that after knowing someone for 10 years, when you sit down to write something about them for the blogging world, the most incredible case of writers block seems to happen.

I remember the day I said to Laural "Hey, I started a blog, it's pretty cool.. You should try it out sometime". Little did I know that not only would she start blogging like crazy, but even attract a following. My blog sits there collecting dust and spiderwebs, while she on the other hand has gone on to have her own little group of blogging friends, be invited to blogging events, and even meet her favorite writers! I have to admit, sometimes she amazes me.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking "Gee, Laural should blog about this!", only to look over and see that she's already thinking long and hard about what she's going to write. Sure enough, shortly after we're within reach of a computer, she's off. It irks me at times, but that's part of being married to Laural. A beautiful, strong, independent, goal oriented, mother.

Sometimes she amazes me with the goals she sets and achieves. Losing weight, done. Running a 5k, done. Being a fantastic mother, done. Taking Matty all by herself on vacation, well.. almost done. Her strength of character and shear determination to finish what she starts is something I can always use a good dose of.

Of course it's not all paradise either. I believe she also has other, smaller goals, the purpose is to keep me on my toes. Goals like, surprising me with cats, asking me where her keys are, and my favorite.. Never closing zip-lock bags!

All and all though, I'm lucky to have such a wonderful partner at my side. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Guest Post # 2 - A Mom’s Eye View

I have two daughters, both of whom I am very proud to call “daughter”. They have grown into two women whom I admire for very different reasons. I think of them as my best girlfriends. I laugh with them, cry with them, and generally just have a wonderful time being with them.

Since this is Laural’s blog, I should probably be more specific about what it is I enjoy about having her as a daughter!

Laural is the whimsical one in the family who tells hilarious stories about every day events – they can be work related or home related. Many times I laugh so hard that tears run down my cheeks as she relays something that happened in her life. I usually shake my head and say audibly, “only Laural”. She was always the one her dad and I could rely on to tell us what was going on at school – usually with some embellishment.

She is the spontaneous one in the family who comes up with an idea and wants to run with it now. Like the time she decided that on the way to Vermont we should take a side trip – fly to New York. We don’t always go along with these outrageous ideas, but when you are around Laural you never feel like you are “in the box”; she pretty much operates “out of the box” whenever she can.

Yet there is a serious side to this crazy daughter of ours. We are both professional women in the business world. She works in the communications department of a large company, while I run my own soft skills training company. There have been times when I have called her for sage advice and gotten it. She helps design marketing materials for always edits and/or proofreads articles that I write for publication.

It has been a fun time watching both of our daughters grow into mature young adults who have each married wonderful men, had great kids and continue to be awesome human beings. But then as a mom, I may be just a tad biased.

GUEST POST #1 ... On Being Laural's Sister

Hi, my name is Becky, and I am the guest blogger today! This in itself is very funny because I can't even figure out half the time how to post comments on Laural's blog, so I've given up. Every once in awhile she writes a really nice thing about me and I can't even respond to it without calling my husband downstairs to fix the stupid blogging thingy that won't let me comment!! But, since Laural has asked me to write, I will, just for you sis!

I think what I would like to address is Laural's apparent insecurity about being a mom, or maybe being the mom she feels she should be. It's very odd at times reading Laural's blog because I think she sees me through rose coloured glasses. I think a lot of people do. I used to talk to my grandma about an argument I would have had with my husband, and she would just look at me and say "Becky, I can't imagine you ever raising your voice!" Well, I do. I lose it continually with my husband and my kids. Today it was over spilt bubbles - how pitiful is that? Perhaps this is the side of parenting I tend to shield a bit from my sister without realizing it. Even family vacations are well planned on my part - enough time away from parents and my sister that they don't always realize when I'm grouchy or tired or just annoyed with being around them for a week! I'm not trying to hide my true feelings, just make sure others don't suffer from my ups and downs. Clearly, as a result of that, I've somehow hidden a lot of my failures from Laural. So, I would like to take the rest of this blog clearly outlining for my sister why she is GREAT at her job of being a mom, and how her parenting makes me laugh and realize I should relax a bit with my parenting techniques:

1. Being a new mom-

Laural will say she went through major depression and had a very difficult baby - which is true. What she fails to mention is that she picked up the phone continually to talk to me. She had me over every week, even if she didn't feel like it. She would get up and put on a pot of coffee and have treats for Kyla. She carried on and got through even if it was the last thing she felt like doing. That shows a huge amount of courage.

2. Being a mom to a boy -

Thank God I had girls!!!! I look at Matty, and I know I couldn't do it. I have no idea how that kid thinks. I love him to death, but he is a complete mystery to me. I can't keep up to his questions, his energy, anything! I am astounded every day how Laural figures out how to parent him. I would be pulling every book off the shelf at the library to try and figure out how to do it. I feel I was given a much easier lot in life getting 2 girls - at this point (check in with me when they hit puberty)

3. Being a mom to others -

I think a big part of being a great mom, is loving your kid's friends. I would want Kyla's friends as they grow older to be able to trust me and come to me if they needed help. I watch Laural with Kyla and am very touched by how much effort she puts into being a loving and caring aunt. She'll call out of the blue some days to see if she can take Kyla for an ice cream in the evening. I feel good knowing that if Kyla was in trouble and didn't feel she could come to me, that she would be able to talk to my sister.

4. Being a working mom -

Here, as usual, Laural and I have chosen different paths. Laural shines as a working mom. I would be an utter failure. I will go back to work sooner than later, but as a bit of a homebody, I want to have quiet moments with my kids during the day and be the one to go on adventures with them. I like my small network of friends, and the small routines I've put in place. I can't imagine Laural lasting long with this. Laural always has a hundred and one things on the go at work - dives into the social aspect of work, and then easily comes home and slides into being a mom. I haven't figured out how she switches back and forth so quickly, except to assume that the GO is actually a magical ride from one realm to the other. She literally jumps from work, to home, to the gym, to friends, without missing a beat. It's exhausting to watch, but exciting as well! I could never do it.

I would never take a toddler on the train by myself. Not because it can't be done, I just wouldn't think I could do it. Laural gets excited about the idea, jumps in, and then looks back to debate the obstacles. Throughout her life she has had experiences I could only hope to have because she does this. Her life is a series of stories that keep you enraptured and wanting to hear more. I live alongside this and love every minute of my life as Laural's sister.

While I'm Away

I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow.
Now, I know I don't have a million readers. But, there are some of you who very kindly check in here a lot. And, I wanted to do something special while I'm away.
Enter the Guest Bloggers.
I speak a lot about the people in my "real life" - my family and my friends. And, they don't all blog. Here's their lucky chance.
Over the next few days you get to read what they have to say. I don't know what it will be. My guideline was that it can be about anything - it can be about what I'm really like (sometimes adorable, sometimes a tyrant) or it can be about life in general.
I haven't read them yet. My husband is posting them for me. I can't wait.
And, wisely, when I recruited my mom and sister to post for me I recruited them before we all spend a week in a timeshare together. Because what they say after that may be vastly different. They will, afterall, experience the pre-coffee Laural which is a little terrifying to say the least.

So, check back often, enjoy the antics of my guest posters and please ... COMMENT!!! And let them feel the love.

Awwww ... How cute

This is a picture of Matty and I in the local paper. It's a very teeny picture. But, ya know, the paparazzi always seems to find me :)
I wish you could see how high up we were, but it was still pretty cool.

Just a few days away

My vacation to Vermont is approaching quickly. I'm almost packed. I'm beginning to get people to cover for various things for me at work, and I'm seriously ready for a break.
And then it hit me last night.
I'm nervous!
Sometimes I sign up for crazy things. Like, oh, taking Matt on 2 train rides, getting a rental car and negotiating my way through Montreal to Vermont ON MY OWN.
Have I mentioned driving in new cities makes me nervous. Driving an unfamiliar car in a city I rarely drive in ... yikes. (did I mention I failed 5 driving tests? In suburbia!!!)
What am I thinking.
The nice people around me keep assuring me that I'll be fine. Afterall, I've been reminding myself, I used to be a tour guide.
The thing about being a tour guide ... I usually had a competent bus driver who would point me in the right direction.
Yes, I've driven in Montreal, but Mike was at least sitting there with a map. It's the same with the train stations.
I'm a little nervous about trying to find my way to the correct track when we have to board the train. I know this is completely ridiculous - afterall, I'll be boarding the Via train at Union Station which is exactly where I get off the GO train everyday. But, Union Station is huge.
I'm wisely meeting a friend (and colleague) for coffee a little early. It will be fun, and she's very good with directions. I'm sure I'll make it to the train just fine.
But after that ... well we shall see.
I'm also a little nervous about entertaining Matthew on the 5 hour train ride. I've got activities and a portable DVD player (with 2 hours battery time), but beyond that, I don't know. I'm hoping he will be amused by the scenery and the fact that he is on a train.
Of course, I'm also a little worried about the trip itself. I have many many plans for the trip including taking a cable car up a mountain (when we were about 11 and 13 my parents had us climb that mountain!!!), going to Ben & Jerry's, visiting some farms, shopping, swimming and relaxing. But, I'm hoping my somewhat precocious 3-year old wants to do this too.
And then there's the eating aspect.
I'm used to Mike eating out with us. It will be weird just the 2 of us. I mean, Mike is generally the voice of reason when Matt decides he just wants ice cream for dinner and I kind of want to go with it. Although, since we will be in Vermont, in my opinion it's perfectly logical to eat ice cream for every meal. I mean, really, think globally eat locally!!!!
Actually, I'm pretty excited too.
And, the other thing I'm thinking of is creating a vacation scrapbook when I get back. I haven't scrap booked since Matt's first birthday, and I think it would be super fun!
Just really really nervous. And, I have a feeling when we get back, Mike and Matthew are going to have some great daddy-son bonding days while I SLEEP!!!!

Me ... a Supermom!

About once a month the guilt of being a working mother gets me down. I love my job, and I don’t really want to stay at home.

But, when my son’s daycare goes on a field trip I feel I am missing out. When I hear about a first, or when I observe him learning to read numbers and I haven’t taught him the ever-familiar guilt creeps in.

So, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I started reading the book “Journey to the Darkside Supermom Goes Home” by Kathy Buckworth.

The book is touted as a ‘good hard look’ at what happens corporate moms decided to become stay-at-home moms. Yikes!

It’s not like I was planning to quit my job and stay at home. That’s not why I read it. I just read it for fun. It’s written by a humourist who is a parenting writer, so I figured that it may be a fun read.

I was completely right.

Somehow Kathy Buckworth has the ability to make me laugh at myself. I’m what she would describe as a “supermom” because I work and manage having a child and everything that goes along with that in the evenings.

Some of her descriptions are dead-on. At one point she talks about how supermoms leave work and are proud to get to the child’s play on time while the parents who have been toiling away to get the play going look on in judgement.

Been there – I did a semester of Saturday gymnastics with Matthew. I wish Kathy had been by my side so she could have laughed along with me.

Anyway …

She takes an incredibly humourous look at what it’s truly like to stay at home with kids. She is somehow able to describe the boredom and busy-ness at the same time. Her descriptions of the various types of moms out there was hilarious.

By the time I finished reading the book there were two things that happened. First, I truly understood my sister’s life a little better (she stays at home). I sometimes wish I was doing what she was, but this book reminded me, in an incredibly funny way, that it’s not as easy as she makes it look.

Second, I was really glad to go to work. I’ve been reading this book on the train, and the further I got into, the more I realized I was quite happy to hang on to my title of Supermom just a little longer.

I really enjoyed this book. It wasn’t my typical read, but I was engrossed. And, this is one of those books that I’ll keep at work (really, I am) so the next time I am tired and frustrated and feeling like a crappy mom, I’ll pull it out and be able to say “oh yeah … I am making the right decision here.”

And, when you find a book that reminds you of that it’s a keeper.

But, don’t get me wrong, I think this is a book that a stay at home mom would enjoy too, because you’ll likely be reading thinking “finally, someone gets it.”