School Day 1 - It Gets Better, Right?

Not one of these kids looks happy :(

I'm not one of those parents who loves back to school. I work full-time, so maybe that changes my opinion, but I don't see school as this relief time when the kids are back to school and I get a break. (that's not a judgement). It's just a change in routine. And it comes with anxiety, expense and new teachers.

Matt started school today. Chloe starts tomorrow.

The funny thing is, I'm not worried about Chloe starting school. She's more than ready. She loves meeting new people. She will be fine with any of the teachers.

Matt is not that child. He loves school, but he has a small circle of friends. He likes routine. He likes the comfort of seeing his best friend in the classroom. He likes knowing what they are doing at recess. I spoke to the school about this. I requested he be in a certain class. We found out today that he was separated from all his friends and put in a split class.

He was so brave this morning. He didn't cry. He put on a happy face and told his best friend he was looking forward to recess. And then I took him to his class lineup. He looked so young, one of the grade 3 kids with a lot of grade 4's. He smiled for a picture. And then he asked me if I could walk with him to class, and come back at recess. He's 8. The last time he asked me to do that he was 4. It broke my heart then. It was harder today. Sure eight is growing up. It's also so young. Last night I spent a good half an hour teaching him to tie his shoelaces, because it's just one of those stupid things he hasn't learned yet. Because he's only 8.

I know the school is a great school. And, I know he will be fine. I know there was thought put into this decision, and even though we may not agree with it, there is some logic to it. But ... I'm not a happy mama right now. I hate that I left him there floundering for friends, stuck with all the older kids.

We'll see how today goes. The truth is, this is a funny class. At least half the kids in the line up were in tears. I wasn't the only parent saying "WTF?"  And the teacher had her arm around one girl who was really upset. So, I think it may be quite the day.

I can say all I want about my own challenges. I can talk to Matt about this. I can talk him through all our anxiety exercises. I can even call up our therapist (why yes, we have an on-call therapist!) to ask her advice. But for now I'm going to hope Matt's day went okay.

And then tomorrow I'll face the day with Chloe!