That's Princess Laural

Today was my niece Kyla's 4th birthday.
She is our Canada Day Baby!
And I had a starring role at her birthday Party as Princess Laural. It was so much fun.
Kyla hosted a princess party at the Jack Astors by her house. And, since I love her, I love all things girly and I don't have a daughter, I agreed to dress up like a princess and join them for the party.
It was pretty cute. All of the little girls came dressed as princesses. Then they all got into wagons and were pulled up to the restaurant where they were greeted by Princess Laural.
Since Kyla didn't know I was coming, she was pretty excited when I was there all dressed up. At first the other little girls didn't quite know what to make of me. But, they came around.
My favourite, I must admit, was this one little girl Esther who totally believed that I was a Princess. And, she actually kept calling me Princess Laural. Too cute.
I realized today that so many memories are tied to July 1st.
Four years ago I sat in the hospital lobby just waiting for her to be born. We were the first visitors (probably becuase I wouldn't leave till they let me in) and I held her before she'd ever been weighed.
Three years ago we were celebrating her first birthday and unbenownst to me, I was pregnant. (No wonder I was so emotional)
Two years ago she was 2 and just beginning to talk. I was in the throes of post partum depression and really wishing and hoping that this baby who still seemed so foreign to me would be as sweet and wonderful as my two year old niece.
Last year Kyla's birthday party was the day before I went back to work. I sat down with one of Becky's closest friends and tried not to cry as I told her that I was terrified about starting a new job. I just tried to get through the party without crying. I can't remember if I was successful.
This year is the princess year. Memories yet to be made. What will I remember about today? I will remember Kyla giving me a big hug at the restaurant and saying thank for making her birthday special - without any prompting from her mom. I will remember watching my son play with his cousin (after the party) thinking about how he is turning into a wonderful kid and knowing that I can be grateful that I got that wish I made on Kyla's second birthday.
And, I'm pretty excited that the fears I had last year about going to work and putting Matt in daycare were just fears. Because as far as I am concerned all of the work stuff is going just fine. And daycare is good (despite the biting)
So, happy birthday Kyla!

Thursday Thirteen - My favourite Matty Words

1. I’m two – especially funny when he uses this as an excuse for bad behaviour
2. Michael – in place of the word Daddy. He loves to do this when he is trying to prove a point. As in “No – Michael – No stroller”
3. Momo – this is what he has nicknamed our cat. Her real name is Mojo, which he can say, but much prefers his version
4. Skinamarinkidinkidink I WUV you- This one is adorable – he doesn’t quite get the concept of just a simple ‘I love you’ but loves the long version.
5. Matthew do it – though not so cute when Mommy is in a rush to get to work on time and he is referring to putting on socks
6. Go Home Depot – apparently his favourite store. I don’t know why. I think it’s Mike’s influence.
7. Pretty Paige – another nickname – this one for my niece Paige. When she was born he saw her once and then started calling her Pretty Paige. I know – how cute. She is pretty.
8. Won-wa-wand – I think Wonderland is a tough word for toddlers. When we were en route to Wonderland it was hilarious to hear him and his older cousin Kyla discussing the correct pronunciation of the word. Kyla, who is almost 4 said “No Matty – no WaWaLand – Wonwawand” so then Matt would rehearse it until he had it up to her standard. I wish I had a video camera for that.
9. Camoose – Thomas has a camoose” – this means caboose. A booster seat is a mooster seat, you get the picture.
10. Fix the Wheel – Matt is obsessed with cars, trucks, buses, etc. and he has a Richard Scarry Book where there is a page with someone fixing a wheel. He now insists on fixing every wheel he sees.
11. Parking garage
12. Elevator (elligator) and Escalator (Eccalator)
13. See you later, alligator - Matt’s personal favourite

How Many???

Today I got a phone call from my daycare.
I always have a moment of stress when I see the number flash up. Thankfully it was no big deal. Matt's teacher was calling to let me know that they need more diapers.
How many diapers does a child go through in a day?
By our count Matt goes through an average of 6 diapers per day at daycare. I know - a lot. He also sits on the potty there. This is on average about a bag of diapers per week.
At home he has at least one diaper in the morning and one diaper in the evening and then one diaper overnight (assuming that he does not need a change or decide to take his diaper off to show us his new diaper removal skill).
So, that is about 10 diapers per day for one two year old boy.
And then we get into the clothing changes. At daycare he rarely comes home in the same outfit he went in. I don't know why. His teachers like him to be clean - and so they usually change his outfit at least once a day if not more.
Mind Boggling.

Am a C, a D or a G - we will never know

Will a bra revolutionize my life?
Hmmmm ...
This question has come up over and over again. Of course I heard the story on Oprah. A friend of mine went right out and got a bra fitting and got a couple of nice new bras.
And then one night when I was out with some of my colleagues the conversation about bra fittings came up. It turns out that there is a wonderful store on the Danforth that fits you properly. I was told I must go to Sophia's for the perfect bra - pronto.
I did set a date with someone to go, but realized (thanks to my thrifty husband) that it would be a little bit ridiculous to spend close to $100 on an undergarment when I am trying to lose weight. So I held off.
And then said shafted colleague sent me the following link today:
(http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1208335,00.html?cnn=yes).
And the question that came to my mind was - will a bra really make a difference in my life.
I doubt that it would take 20 years off my age. I am not even sure if it would make me look that much slimmer. But, I really am quite intrigued. Can a well fitting bra make life easier?
I asked my friend (who will remain unnamed) whether her expensive bras changed her life. Her response wasn't quite up to Oprah's enthusiastic response, but she really was quite positive. It turns out that her clothes fit better, she looks better and she knows what size to buy.
Others have told me that they have more self confidence and even have less pain.
And, yet I resist.
I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps I feel I am perky enough. Perhaps I feel like my clothes are fitting me just fine. But, I think that realistically, I just don't want to know my size.
I have heard of people going into the bra store thinking they are a 34c and leaving a 32G!!!! That is a lot of baggage.
What comes after G? What is considered too large? What is the ideal band size? Apparently it doesn't matter, but let's be honest. I think I would have a complete meltdown in the middle of Sophia's if I was told I was a G (or worse). And, for that matter, what is worse? What letters to bras go to? Why can you buy a DD if there are E's and F's and G's? I don't get it.
And I am afraid. Very afraid.
But, if I were to spend the big bucks on a bra I think this is what I would go for:
http://www.freshpair.com/Le-Mystere-Dream-Tisha-Underwire-Bra-9955.html

PS I will be going back to mommy blogging, but this week there have been many non-mommy things going around in my head.

Introspective

Maybe I'm feeling a tad introspective today, but there's so much rolling around in my head today that I'm taking a break from my typical diary like blog entry to amuse myself and my thoughts.

This weekend I had a bit of a break. Saturday the boys went to Peterborough while I spent a completely selfish day of self-indulgence. I did some movie watching, some cleaning, some hair highlighting, went for a walk and ate a dinner I loved.

And it made me think a little about this life I have right now. In a sense I'm somewhat conflicted. Is it okay to like life and to hate life and be stuck in the middle? Becuase I think that is where I am. On the one hand I LOVE some aspects of my life. I have what I always wanted. I have a home and a family. I have a car and a cat and I have some really good friends. And, we are starting to sort through a bunch of the stuff we faced when we were a little younger.

And, then I start to wonder - where is the drama? Where is the passion? Where is the excitement that makes me look forward to getting up in the morning, or more accurately that makes me so drained in the morning because I can't sleep at night? Where did it go and why did it go? And, do I really want it back? I think I look back on the drama of university and of early marriage and think of it in a positive excited way and I forget that with the drama came tears.

And work also plays into this picture. I'm always reading about getting ahead. Taking that next step in your career. But, I often wonder, is it okay to be happy where I am? I cut a little top 10 list out of Glamour a couple of years ago, and it was called the Top 10 things that are okay to be happy about. In them were that it is okay to be happy about your job whether or not you are the CEO of a company or not. And, lately I've realized that I actually do quite enjoy coming to work. I like that I have friends here and that we do some fun corporate events. I enjoy knowing I have a pension (albeit small since I've been only paying into it for a year) and I even enjoy the pretty constant hours every day.Does it mean I'll be here till retirement? I dunno. I doubt it. That's like 38 years away, and who knows where I'll be in 38 years? But, for now, I'm content. Is there drama? Not really. I mean there is some, but not excessive drama like in previous jobs. And I am grateful that my job description now does not include screaming at warehouse people who shipped the wrong shoes. Trust me - I'll take our mailroom (without the frigid lack of heat and air conditioning that the shoe warehouse lacked) anyday.

But, what does contentment breed? Does it breed laziness? Or am I constantly looking for something new. Is it okay to search for excitement still? I think it is okay to be a mom but still want to develop myself fully as a person. I think it's just fine to say that I devote myself to motherhood but that I still want to lose some weight and dye my hair and do my nails. In fact, I think that maybe this lack of contentment with myself in fact makes me better. And I think it all ties into one.

I don't know. BUt I'm thinking through all of these. Bring on the Drama, Mama! I'm waiting.

The great bathing suit hunt

Edit to the post below: I FOUND a bathing suit. I really did try on a total of 33 bathing suits to find it. My mom directed to me to, of all places, Sears. I literally took in every single bathing suit in my size that was decent (i.e. not a bikini - and side note I'm all for bikinis if you can pull it off which I can't). The last one I had pulled off the rack was this cute black and white 2 piece but the bottom is actually a skirt. It fits and is flattering enough. Mike said I should post the picture of me in it on my blog. Ummm - no. Well, maybe if he wears his Speedo for the camera - LOL - there are no speedos allowed in my house.

Today I started my hunt for the great bathing suit.
There was a lot of criteria on my mental list including: 1) full coverage of tummy 2)comfortable 3) not a flowery "mum" suit - and by this I do not mean my mom hence the spelling difference and 4) and most important proper boob support.
I think today I tried on 17 bathing suits. I tried on both one and two piece bathing suits.
I went in knowing that I have lost almost 20 pounds since May and I keep reminding myself that it would be way worse if I had that weight still on and also that I would probably not like my bathing suit clad image.
And, let's be honest. My self esteem is not that horrible. I mean I'm not about to send in my picture to Tyra at America's Next Top Model, but I also have a bit of a feeling that you have to take me as I am and that like it or not I am and probably always will be a little bit chubby.
So, having said that, I am beginning to think that bathing suit manufacturers are setting us up for diapppointment.
There are some great bathing suits out there - as long as you are a size 6 or less.
For instance, I say the cutest whit bathing suit with an underwire bra that would keep everything in place. The problem - the cup size really only goes up to a B. I have never been a B. well, maybe when I was 12.
But, not in the last like 15 years. Even when I was skinnier never a B.
And I kept finding this. Tiny bathing suits have underwire, larger bathing suits (like size 8 and up which is hardly "large") do not.
So, I hunted and tried things on. I tried different sizes and colours. My downfall, literally, was in the cleavage department. I just need some wire.
There were also several other problems I discovered. For instance, there are code words you want to avoid. "tummy tamer" means excess fabric and a large print. "Bust enhancer" means ruffles or lace. "Body Shaper" means relaly unattractive.
And then I thought I found what may be a great bathing suit. It was a lime green colour and it seemed kind of supportive. I was kind of admiring myself when I noticed one large downfall - IT WAS SEE THROUGH!!
I actually started to giggle at the hilarity of it. I mean - I would be on vacation chasing after my toddler and be basically naked. I may even take the attention away from the woman who inevitably sits in the beach chair at the resort with the thong bathing suit. (and I don't mean a pretty model. I mean the woman who you really wonder "what was she thinking - she's going to get hemorrhoids!)
And so back went the lime green bathing suit.
I now continue on the hunt for the perfect bathing suit.
Will I find it?
I dunno.