Strength

This week has given me a lot to think about.
We're nearing the end of summer, and with the last few weeks on the horizon we've been making a concerted effort to be outside, to spend time with Matt (that does not involve spending money, buying stuff or any other commercial interests). It's meant a lot of picnics, a lot of time at playgrounds, and in the end a much happier child.
One of the changes we've made is that we leave early every morning to take Matthew to the payground in front of daycare. He loves running around. And, I'm not quite sure if it's because we are paying so much attention to him or because he's just having fun being a kid. But whatever it is we are seeing a happier child. And, what I've added to the end of his daily routine is that I let him play at the playground when I pick him up.
We don't always spend an hour. Sometimes we only spend 5 minutes. But the point is that we are doing it. I've begun to understand that postponing dinner by a few minutes to play with my child is worth it. And, I wish I'd done it earlier.
But I've had lots of stuff to think about this week too.
Follow me if you will - one of my favourite bloggers has been talking a lot about the physical aspect of children. It is beautifully written and I love to read what she says, and what people say in response (badladies.blogspot.com).
It's not fair for me to try to paraphrase her because her writing and her knowledge and just general wisdom is on a level WAY above mine. So go read it. But, the point I think she is making is that we should be comfortable celebrating our children however we can - including their physical selves. It's beautiful and eloquent and well thought out.
But, at the same time, in my e-mail this week I've been following a story of a girl I used to babysit. I have kept in touch with her mom through e-mail for years. This family is one of the most wholesome loving families I have ever met. They have raised their children well, and I have consciously or unconsciously taken some of her parenting techniques and applied them to my own life.
And, awhile ago she sent me an e-mail telling me about some issues her daughter is struggling with. At the moment she is hospitalized with a severe eating disorder and going through extensive counselling, etc. In the last year she's fought this eating disorder and depression. At the same time she finished her first year of university with phenomenal grades, and was planning to spend the summer in China.
What happened?
I don't think anyone really knows.
I have my own thoughts on depression. And I'm not for a second suggesting or implying that her parents have at all contributed to any of this.
But it all makes me wonder how all of this is all tied to together. Here we are as new, young moms trying to love our children as much as we can, do what's best for them and help them to succeed. We're admitting our failures and applauding our successes. And, our kids are pretty cool.
The other day my husband said that he sometimes thinks Matthew is a perfect kid - he has his faults, but he's just so pure and fresh and full of love.
And then something happens. What? And how do we protect them? How do we let them go out on their own and grow up while still keeping them close. I don't know. And how do we try to take care of them while letting them struggle with their own battles.
The mother I was talking about whose daugther is literally fighting for her life ... I think she would tell me that you love them and keep loving them and trust that all of these challenges make them stronger.
I really hope that's true.

A cute little picture

This is my son and my niece. Total summer fun!

Cuddles

One of the things that we have gone back and forth on is the topic of co-sleeping, or, in other words, letting Matty sleep in the bed with Mike and I.
Some of my friends who are parents are big on it. Their kids sleep in the bed every night. Other friends are adamently opposed, and never let their kids sleep in the bed. Ever.
Our feelings on this are kind of mixed. Matt slept with us for ages, but the day we quit breastfeeding we put him in his own crib and that was the end of him being in our bed. He was 19 months, and in our eyes it was time. He never complained. He seemed to like his own space and actually slept through the night and we were happy. And so we went from Sears to Ferber overnight. Or so it seemed.
But lately Matt has been crawling in bed with us.
It started pretty innocently. While on vacation he had his own bed, but he was scared and would climb into our nice big bed. Then when we got back he was out of routine and wanted us to climb into his bed to help him fall asleep. We pushed back because we didn't really want to have to sleep in his bed every night. And after a couple weeks he was over that.
But lately he's been coming into our bed. Like on the weekend at about 4 am he'll hop in and sleep for a couple hours. My thoughts on this - it's okay because otherwise we'd be up at 4am, so if it means more sleep that's fine.
Besides, I kind of like it. I love that he snuggles up with me and I get the hugs that are so lacking when he is running around being a typical 2 year old.
And then last night, it happened.
We had a late night. Mike and I were shooting our last challenge for the show and Eric (Matty's godfather) was babysitting. We got home around 9:30 and then had some birthday cake for Eric. And, then it was 10pm. And, Matty was wired. Mike was driving Eric home and I was exhausted. So, I told Matty he could cuddle with Mommy.
I know it's a slippery slope. But, I was tired, he was tired, and I didn't feel like getting up with him 15 times. In about 10 minutes we were both sound asleep. Mike got home and neither of us woke up. He dutifully picked Matthew up and brought him to bed, and he slept all night.
So will he be sleeping in our bed? I don't think so.
I like him being in his own bed. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I think I will let him in. Because last night's sleep was so great!

Hubba Hubba!

Matty often says things that are hilarious.
Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by mistake, sometimes he mispronounces something and it makes us laugh.
But by far the funniest of his sayings is "Hubba Hubba".
Lest you think my child is already eyeing women, I should explain. It's part of a song as in
"hubba hubba world so high - like a diamond in the sky"
Yep. The famous Twinkle Twinkle little star. The problem is that he doesn't get that far. He just loves singing over and over again
Hubba hubba world so high.
And it kills me, every time.
Yesterday we were at the playground and I was pushing Matt on the swing. He loves to sing and swing, and over and over he just kept singing the one line. The people playing tennis just kept looking at him. Eventually he moved on to his ABC's.
Lately Matty's been talking a ton. He's on to full sentences, and he is understanding concepts. Like, if you ask him how his dinner is "it's delicious".
Yesterday I asked how he was and he said "I'm wonderful".
Or, "the white moon in the blue sky is beautiful."
I don't know where this all comes from. But, I love the positivity, and the excitement.
Hubba hubba!