Friends

So, yesterday I was reading Rebecca's blog and she was talking about friends. In specific, she was talking about a thank you list for her book, but what it came down to was that it was a post on friendship.
And, it got me thinking - a lot.
It got me thinking about friends, how I define a friend, and how, perhaps others define me as a friend.
A lot of blogs lately discuss this whole issue of friendships when you become a mother (Heather wrote a good one, and I will figure out the linking thing soon).
But, really I got thinking just about the whole friends thing.
It's a weird thing to reflect on.
For me friends fall into several categories. There are the immediate friends - the ones you see every day. And, by this I am not referring to the acquaintances that you bump into or say hi to on the elevator. If that were the case I'd have about 200 friends at work alone.
But, really, at work, I consider myself to have only a few friends. Chances are, if you are reading this (or even better have me in your favourites, DD!) then I consider you a friend. And, work friends are tough because you see work people ALL the time. So, to become a true friend it takes time. Do you trust that person to not gossip about you - or at least not in a bad way? Do you like that person enough to go for coffee and lunch? If you felt like you were so frustrated by work that you need to confide in someone or quit can you talk to that person? Then, yep, that person is a friend, and I consider myself pretty lucky to have some good friends, who I happen to work with. And, I hope they think of me in the same way.
But, then there are the murky friendship waters that I don't really want to wade into.
For instance, if I haven't spoken to someone in years are they still my friend? I don't know. I hope so.
My best friend growing up still stays in touch. We never see each other. She lives on the other side of the country, and it's been about 15 years since we actually hung out in person and talked. Wedding gifts were sent across the country. We both shared some tears reading e-mails about post-partum depression (we both suffered it, about a year apart since my son is a year older thna her son). As we have gotten older we have changed. And, we are really different. Do I think that we would be close if we met again? I don't know. But, deep down I still consider her my bestest friend in the world.
And, then there are the friends that I just don't see enough of, or call enough, or write enough. Like, Susie. She was my maid of honour. She is Matt's godmother. She was the only person (other than Mike and the 6 million doctors, midwives and nurses) I allowed in while giving birth. And, she's off following her dreams as a midwife in Windsor. And, I haven't once hopped in my car and driven out to see her. Why? I don't know. But, I love her, and she stills ranks up there on my friends list.
And, other friends too are in that category. Are we growing apart? Kind of. I don't call them for everything. We don't share all of our heartbreaks anymore. When we get together we don't just automatically know where to start the conversation. It's a little rocky at first. But, then we do get talking and it is a ton of fun. It just takes time.
I still see a group of highschool friends - sometimes we get together monthly, sometimes not for a couple of years. Some of my mommy friends from mat leave I just don't have time to see, but I still miss and still consider them friends.
Am I saying I'm just way too popular for my own good? Yep. That's it. That must be it. I just have way too many friends!!!!
I'm kidding of course.
But, in my books, if you're my friend, you're my friend. Period. It may be minutes or it may be years. But, I really do believe that unless we've had some falling out there's always hope.
I guess the best way it was ever described to me was by a friend in 9th grade. She said that friends are like boyfriends. At first everything is hot and heavy. You want to spend all your time with that person. And, then you get used to each other. Some people break up and others become the couple that are together all through highschool.
And, it's true.
So, to my current hot and heavy friends, YOU ROCK! And, if we're not so hot and heavy right now, you still rock. I just need to pick up the phone one of these days to call you and let you know :)
But the nice thing about friendships as opposed to relationships is that you can have more than one friend at once and no one's feelings will be hurt.
Oh - and about that friend from grade 9 -- we did have a falling out and we never speak anymore. And, lest you think she is super intelligent from that one piece of wisdom her other favourite saying was "you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends under the couch."
Yep. Whatever!
Happy long weekend.

Hurry hurry get the firetucks - ding ding ding ding ding!

Last night Mike and I were again doing more taping for this show I keep talking about. It's actually becoming fun now that we're not terrified of the camera, we are used to people in our home and we feel like there is actually a point to what we are doing.
And, the other perk of this is that it requires us to do some taping minus Matty. And my sister has been kind enough to host a couple of sleepovers for Matthew on nights that we need to be in Toronto.
Last night was such a night.
When everyone left, Mike and I went on a late evening date which was pretty fun. We had pizza at 9:30! We just went to this little pizza place we love, and had a slice and chatted. Really, we rarely do this, we were starving, and it was fun. And, I even stayed up past my normal bed time!!!
Why?
Because Mike was going to drive me to work the next day which meant I got to sleep in till 6:30. In my world of 5:30 am alarms, sleeping in is a big deal. (as it is for everyone).
And then it happened.
At 5 am the fire alarm went off!!!
Of course. Why wouldn't a fire alarm go off when we get a chance to cuddle up and sleep an extra hour?
It's not that I mind fire alarms that much. In the middle of the day they are cool - Matthew would have been thrilled to see the truck, and being the amazing mom I am I truly would have made myself semi decent to bring my toddler to see the fire truck, but he wasn't there!!! Of all days.
But, I did find myself drawn to the windows to see the firetruck regardless.
I have no idea why the alarm went off.
My guess is that it was the humidity. When I was in highschool I was a waitress at a seniors residence. The alarms went off fairly frequently in the summer - and they always said it was due to the high humidity.
Funny how those alarms were way more thrilling than these alarms.
At the condo when the alarm goes off I inevitably go running to the closet to get decent clothes on (they never go off when I look decent), try to find the cat carrier to pack up Mojo if we have to leave, and make Matty a bottle or get a snack.
In high school it was a little different. All of the girls would run to the bathroom to make sure we looked decent, put on lipstick, and look as caring as we possibly could while waiting to run out and offer the firefighters cookies. Someone would always end up asking some sort of question to get them to stick around and eat the cookies. It was a wonderful thing.
This morning - not so much. It did, however, afford Mike and I the time to share a cup of coffee before heading off to work. So, in the end, it was worth it.
PS - that subject line is the title of my friend Salina's favourite song!!!

Different babysitter - Day 1

Yesterday was day one of our teenage babysitter.
Why didn't I do this earlier? Seriously, after one day Mike and I decided that we most certainly are going to use babysitters more often. Why?
Okay - first of all, and most importantly, Matthew was happy.
Not that we knew that when we came home because he was asleep. He was curled up comfortably on the couch, sound asleep, listening to MuchMusic. I suppose some people may not enjoy the MuchMusic background, but seriously, in raising a child who is cool and fits in music appreciation is key, and quite honestly all he ever watches with us is Treehouse. Is it possible that she changed the channel after he fell asleep? Perhaps. But, I really get the impression that he was happy to watch her shows. (I shall now attempt to tell him we are watching "Erin's show" and turn on Much and see if that works.)
The other funny thing - he became addicted to the word "awesome" - he even had the tone of the word down. Adorable.
So, we made him corn last night and he sat eating it and said "Yummy corn is AWESOME".
Hilarious. He then proceeded to tell us everything else that was awesome.
And, on top of the fact that he was entertained, exhausted and saying new words, our house was clean! Seriously, she made his lunch and then she cleaned the whole kitchen and ran the dishwasher and then put everything away.
We were shocked.
I left her a note today to say how Matt was great and give her some cash for ice cream or something (I sort of forgot yesterday to do that - oops). I debated mentioning that there was no need to do dishes. But I thought better of it. I also thought better of making some helpful suggestions like laundry, vaccuuming ... I'm kidding of course.
Truthfully, I spent a few summers as a babysitter. It was pretty fun - and a lot of work. And, I usually did try to keep the house clean, do the dishes, etc. etc. But, I forgot about all of that - and I forgot how wonderful it is to have someone help with all of that.
It's really too bad I love daycare so much because I could totally go for having a nanny who kept the house kind of clean, ran the dishwasher, started dinner. My life would be so much easier.

Just for the week ... I want to be Matty!

I've decided that as of this morning I want my son's life this week.
I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.
Since the daycare is closed we are in Oakville, and this is the week that Matthew is spending with my parents' teenage neighbour. Last night she and her mom came over to chat, to ask some questions about Matt's schedule, and to make sure that certain things were okay.
The conversation was a little along the lines of this.
Babysitter: Does Matty nap?
Laural: Only if he feels like it. If you think he needs a nap and he'll sleep, sure. Maybe he'll just want to hang out with a bottle and watch tv and that's cool. Up to you. (he hasn't really been napping consistently, why force it)
Babysitter: What does he eat
Laural: We have tons of stuff here - there's Kraft Dinner, etc that he can eat. He may only want fruit or chips. If you're happy and he's happy we're happy. So, whatever. If you want to eat at your house, he'll eat whatever.
Babysitter's mom: Can we have the car seat and take him swimming
Laural: Yes, here's his life jacket and swim diapers. Have fun.

Seriously, this week it's a week of fun. Not only does Matty love the people who are watching him (officially the teenager, but her mom is involved, and her 10 year old sister actually plays with him. Like, she takes him down slides, does underdoggies, etc.) but he's doing tons of fun stuff. Since the babysitter is next door he gets to sleep in. We bought all the yummy food he likes, he gets to go places in a van (which to him is incredibly exciting).
Wow.
And, to think that I was worried about this week. Really, I just want to be him.

Happy 30th Becky!

Yesterday I had a semi-surprise birthday party for me sister.
For thse who don't know her, she is my complete opposite. We are 20 months apart, and as different as you could imagine. Where I am chubby, dark haired and very talkative, my sister is skinny, has curly red hair and is reserved.
So, when planning a birthday for her I had to do the complete opposite of what I would want, while still making sure that it was something that had my signature on it.
So ...
Yesterday I invited her 4 closest friends over and we had an in-home spa pedicure party.
It was a ton of fun.
What I told her was that there was nothing to be stressed about, to wear jeans, be relaxed and look forward to a good day. I didn't tell her who I was inviting, so when she came in she was surprised by who was there. It had taken a bit of advance planning because everyone there has kids under the age of 4 (Kyla, Becky's daughter is the oldest and she just turned 4), and we all had to get our husbands to babysit on a Saturday.
But, we pulled it off.
And, for just over 4 hours we sat around sipping coffee, eating junk food and being pampered. It was a pretty fun way to welcome in the next decade of my sister's life.
Plus, we all kind of needed it. I really think there's nothing better than sitting with a group of friends and just chatting about what's going on in life - to share the highlights and the lowlights, to get advice and share advice. We talked about everything from biting to husbands to kids to movies.
As far as the actual pedicure thing. That, too, is a cool story. The woman who arranged it all has an 18 month old, and she runs this business out of her home because she wants to spend more time with her daughter. I found her through a web site about mom businesses, and to me it seemed perfect to get someone who also was a mom. You know - my issue - support other moms as much as possible.
Not only was she really cool and friendly, but she also added to the conversation. Actually, I will put a link to her site because she was good, and she had great prices and really nice - I would totally use her again.
Happy birthday Becky!