Thursday, October 26, 2006

Mommy Smackdown - McDonald's Style


So we weren't exactly in a wrestling ring, but on our weekly trip to McDonald's, Mike and I experienced competetive mommy fighting in its fully glory.

I've been exposed to the competitive mommies many times. You know them and love them. They appear at playgroups, visit drop in centres and lurk at the daycares. They are the ones with the perfectly labelled sippy cups, the tupperware containers with various healthy food options and their children are always perfectly equipped for the weather.

What these women were doing at McDonald's is beyond me. It was an unusual sighting.

Nevertheless ...

I spotted them the moment I sat down. It turns out that Matt chose the seats. And over I came hauling my tray of fattening McDonald's food. I didn't have the gender appropriate happy meal toy nor did I cart along a sippy cup to pour Matt's chocolate milk into. Bad Mommy!!! And, to top it all off, when I opened the chocolate milk it sprayed out and instead of turning it into a lesson I giggled harder than Matt - and licked it off my hand. Bad mommy again! Where were those wipes?

So, as we sat enjoying our food (I got McNuggets people, I did not want McHealthy) the mommies started talking. They drove me crazy. The entire conversation of 10 minutes was pure competition. The first topic of conversation was mitten strings. And they angrily discussed why mittens on strings were better or worse than mittens on clips. Mommy #1 was all about the mittens on strings from Dollarama. Mommy #2 was all about the choking hazard.

Next came stroller accoutrements. Mommy #1 had just spent $75 on her stroller toys. Mommy #2 felt that it was ridiculous to have a cup holder, and didn't think children needed hanging toys.

And, just when I was ready to scream at them (at this point I had explained to Mike what was going on, and he was quite entertained by it) they got on to the topic of Reflux in Babies. Mommy #2 had a baby with reflux. She was tired (though why we all had to hear the sleep patterns of her baby is beyond me) and the Mommy #2 would not shut up about reflux and how it affects babies. Mommy #2 fought her case - why she let her baby sleep in the carrier, why the baby sleeps in her room, what the doctor said, etc etc. Enter mommy #1 telling her she was wrong.

Finally, Mommy #2 said "Oh I didn't know either of your children had reflux." Mommy #1 relented.

Ding ding ding.

Smackdown over. Within seconds Mommy #1 packed up her bag and dragged her children into the playroom.

It made me sooooooo glad that I am not in that wrestling ring any more. I just avoid those conversations. It's not worth it.

A couple minutes later we went to the playland. Matthew climbed the tunnel, got to the very top looked out and started shrieking, just for fun, at the top of his lungs.

I felt inspired by the warring mommies. I thought I should show off some of my stellar parenting skills. I looked up at Matt, smiled, waved, and shouted back


I've accepted it. I will never win the mommy wars. But, while I'm fighting the battle I'm gonna have fun :)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Moment

I think every parent (and grandparent and aunt/uncle, etc) has "the moment" with a child. You know, the one that makes everything worthwhile. No matter what.
That moment for me is every day at daycare.
I pick up Matthew about 90% of the time. And, as soon as I walk in and he sees me, he literally drops everything he is doing and comes running over with a huge hug, a kiss and a big smile. He's usually got a huge smile on his face. Lately he also starts telling me about his day.
I love it.
We've been doing the daycare thing for a little over a year. No matter what goes on in the day. No matter how crappy a start we had to the day, how frustrating his day has been or what crap has gone on at work for me, nothing matters.
At that one moment in the day it's pure love, and I can't get enough of it.

I Got Tagged - So Nine Weird Things about Myself

So, thanks to Jeff from Daddy Diary Tales, I got tagged. So, Here we go ...


1) Whenever we get boxes of chocolate, or I am around friends or family with boxes of chocolate, I always bite into a chocolate, decide if I like it, and if I don't I put it back into its original spot pre-bitten. My sister does this too. It's because our grandfather always had Russell Stover chocolates that came with no map. It was just our thing. He would always finish up the chocolates. I really only like the straight chocolate or chocoalte caramel.

2) When I like a song I will buy the cd, but listen to the one favourite song on repeat about 5 million times. I've been known to workout for 45 minutes to the same song.

3) My name is not nicknameable - and that is why when I had a child I came up with a name (Matthew) that had many variations.

4) I always have bizarre dreams. Like, last night I dreamt that we moved to Georgia and went to visit a kangaroo farm where the kangaroos were the size of dinosaurs. Weird! I once asked a psychology teacher if this meant I was mentally unstable. She said that in fact it meant I have a vivid imagination.

5) I have had a crush on my hairdresser for 15 years. Yes, he knows. Yes, he is okay with this. We don't have regular conversations about it though.

6) I am obsessed with my bathroom being clean. I clean it at least 3 times a week. Mike and I have serious arguments over the level of bathroom cleanliness. (We each have our own bathroom, it makes for a good marriage).

7) I lie about my baking skills. People think that I am the best brownie baker in the world. In all honesty, all I ever do is buy a package of brownie mix, add the egg and water, and voila. Sorry- did I just burst everyone's bubble?

8) If it were an ideal world, I would go to bed at 8 pm and be up at 6 am every day. I'm a morning person, not a night person.

9) I've saved the best for last: My "celebrity" crushes over the years have included: Kurt Browning, The Rock, Colm Wilkinson (the guy who played the Phantom of the Opera), Jason Priestly, Tom Selleck (shut up people) and most recently Mr. Jay from America's Next Top Model.

Okay - so that, my friends, is my full craziness of the day.

Okay, people I tag ... I'll come back to that. Gotta do some work.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Frustrated ...

This week the incomparable Her Bad Mother posted a couple of times about her frustrations of being a mother. The key quesiton she asked was "am I bad mother."
Of course she didn't really think she was a terrible mother. And she shouldn't.
But, I have to admit that this week, in particular, this weekend, I've been struggling with tsmae same frustration. And asking myself over and over again - what makes a good mother. And, I guess by the same token, a bad one.
For instance, tonight. Mike and I were completly frustrated by a non-napping toddler whom we had dragged through Walmart. (quickly, mind you). We decided to stop and pick up a pizza to go, but learned it was going to take 20 minutes, so went to Shoppers Drug Mart next door to kill time and pick up a few things we needed.
It was a disaster. All of it.
Midway through our shopping trip Matt found a halloween pitchfork and it was all over. He ran screaming through the store sending things flying in his wake. Shampoo bottles flew off the shelves, staff tried to intercept him. And on he ran. Finally we gave up the chase because it was making him more frantic and I snuck up behind him, grabbed the pitchfork and let him wail.
The pharmacist finally came over and asked if there was some problem.
I couldn't help myself. I said "I have a toddler." Like, pull out some lollipops or leave me alone.
In order to get him out of the store I did what most parenting experts (and financial experts - Gail) would say was horrible. I bought him chips to shut him up.
I felt like a bad parent. Mike decreed our child is spoiled.
Maybe he was just hungry?
Yesterday Matthew and I met my mom on Bloor Street. Matthew was fine when he was doing what he wanted - playing with the Thomas table at Indigo, but when we took him to Starbucks (and gave him chocolate milk, yogurt and toys) he of course had a temper tantrum.
He then had a meltdown at the MAC store (which I never get to go to and would have enjoyed browsing in) and then I promplty had a meltdown and my mom walked us to the subway.
Yes ...
The terrible twos are in full swing. And I am not surviving them so well.
I'm grateful that I'm not a drinker. To clarify, I enjoy a cocktail or a beer, but I don't use it as a vice. I use it for fun. If I did use it as a vice I think I'd be drunk daily.
Instead I eat.
I am a sugaraholic. And, by 7pm tonight I had gone down to the convenience store (another financial no no) and bought a bag of skittles, a bag of Mike and Ike's and a bag of oreo cookies. I have made my way through the Mike and Ike's. The skittles are next.
And as I eat I keep wondering what am I doing wrong.
I'm trying here.
I love Matthew to death. But there are days, frequently it seems, where I am ready to lose it. And, sometimes do. Like, how on earth can a child get frustrated over so many things. He wants chocolate milk so I buy him chocolate milk. Then he has a meltdown because I suggest that he holds his chocolate milk.
So I hold it. Then he has a meltdown that Mommy is holding his chocolate milk.
And on and on it goes. I've had it.
And oh yeah - OUR COFFEE POT BROKE TODAY!!! And, we bought a replacement coffee pot and the carafe that came in it was broken too.
Life is just not pretty around here.
Thank God I bought those oreo cookies.