and then ...

so after weeks of feeling blissy ... i guess there is a crash
and then ...
you question your work
you feel like your efforts won't cut it
you eat junk
and you feel like you made 3 steps forward and 3 giant leaps back.

or you do everything you can to be a friend, and throw your whole freaking heart into something you think is special ... and you are very clearly told you shouldn't have.

and then what?

last year when i was losing weight I made a conscious choice that was awesome. my choice was that i wasn't just going to lose weight - eat healthy - weigh myself every week. My choice was that whether my weight went up or down, whether i had a good week or a bad week, i'd pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going.

And, hey. it worked. because i learned that a bad minute, hour, day or week didn't mean failure. it meant an opportunity to get up. regroup. and do better.

right now that's where i'm at.

I've done so well on this whole yoga, bliss, positivity thing. I've been cheerful and truly happy. today i lost it. it's hard because i didn't make a plan to be happier, it just started happening. so i didn't have a fall back for a bad day.

My plan? get my ass on the mat. Breathe in. breathe out. And start over.

I'm counting the days till music yoga. until then i figure everything will work out.

(I'm just trying so hard)

We are all Meant to Shine

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? 

 

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. 

We are all meant to shine as children do. 

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

* I've read this quote over and over. And then I spent the day with my adorable little girl. And I realized. We're born with this amazing lightness. When I watch Chloe run and bounce and play and dance - how can I not remember that light.