Friday, May 15, 2009

Moving on

I know I’ve neglected this blog for awhile now.
I started it a couple of years ago and it was perfect for me. It was a place to talk about all the stuff going on in my life.
I loved telling stories about Matthew and the crazy life we had. The title of my blog “Misadventures of Mommy Laural” wasn’t a title I thought long and hard about. To me parenting was just a crazy misadventure and I never knew what I was doing right – or wrong.
I always felt like I didn’t quite know what I was doing. And, because I was (fairly) young when I had Matt, it seemed like strangers felt compelled to offer me advice, give suggestions or critique my parenting.
It’s been 5 years now since I became a mother (to Matt) and I’ve been a mother of 2 for just over a year now.
And, what I’m seeing now is that Matt’s story is his now.
He’s five.
And my five year old has a very strong opinion of what he likes and doesn’t like. Since he’s started school I’ve watched him grow from a little boy whose life was dictated by his parents to a child who clearly knows what he wants to do and when he wants to do it.
That’s one of the most amazing things about Matt.
But, it also has led me to believe that this blog, this discussion of my life, his life, my parenting and his being parented isn’t just my story to tell anymore.
It’s OUR story.
And as much as I would love to share it all here I can’t. I would love to sit and write a post about my fears for him. I worry about social stuff, about bullying, about his attention issues among other things.
But, I’m not sure that a blog is the right place to talk about that.
Miss Chloe has her own story too. But, it’s different the second time around. In a way it’s easier.
The great thing I learned from blogging though, is this. Everyone struggles. And when you put yourself out there, and you admit that you are struggling, that you need help, that you need reassurance, that you aren’t perfect … people listen. And they help.
I rely on my friends, on my WonderMommies, on my family. And for now I’m not relying on my blog.
So am I done? Yes and No. This space here will be shut down soon. And my other blog (that many of you know about) will be also.
But, I’m working on something new. Something fun! Something more me. And, bonus points if you can guess what the topic is.
Once I have it up and running I’ll post the link here.
But, for now, thanks for reading!