Thursday, July 26, 2007

GUEST POST #1 ... On Being Laural's Sister

Hi, my name is Becky, and I am the guest blogger today! This in itself is very funny because I can't even figure out half the time how to post comments on Laural's blog, so I've given up. Every once in awhile she writes a really nice thing about me and I can't even respond to it without calling my husband downstairs to fix the stupid blogging thingy that won't let me comment!! But, since Laural has asked me to write, I will, just for you sis!
I think what I would like to address is Laural's apparent insecurity about being a mom, or maybe being the mom she feels she should be. It's very odd at times reading Laural's blog because I think she sees me through rose coloured glasses. I think a lot of people do. I used to talk to my grandma about an argument I would have had with my husband, and she would just look at me and say "Becky, I can't imagine you ever raising your voice!" Well, I do. I lose it continually with my husband and my kids. Today it was over spilt bubbles - how pitiful is that? Perhaps this is the side of parenting I tend to shield a bit from my sister without realizing it. Even family vacations are well planned on my part - enough time away from parents and my sister that they don't always realize when I'm grouchy or tired or just annoyed with being around them for a week! I'm not trying to hide my true feelings, just make sure others don't suffer from my ups and downs. Clearly, as a result of that, I've somehow hidden a lot of my failures from Laural. So, I would like to take the rest of this blog clearly outlining for my sister why she is GREAT at her job of being a mom, and how her parenting makes me laugh and realize I should relax a bit with my parenting techniques:
1. Being a new mom-
Laural will say she went through major depression and had a very difficult baby - which is true. What she fails to mention is that she picked up the phone continually to talk to me. She had me over every week, even if she didn't feel like it. She would get up and put on a pot of coffee and have treats for Kyla. She carried on and got through even if it was the last thing she felt like doing. That shows a huge amount of courage.
2. Being a mom to a boy -
Thank God I had girls!!!! I look at Matty, and I know I couldn't do it. I have no idea how that kid thinks. I love him to death, but he is a complete mystery to me. I can't keep up to his questions, his energy, anything! I am astounded every day how Laural figures out how to parent him. I would be pulling every book off the shelf at the library to try and figure out how to do it. I feel I was given a much easier lot in life getting 2 girls - at this point (check in with me when they hit puberty)
3. Being a mom to others -
I think a big part of being a great mom, is loving your kid's friends. I would want Kyla's friends as they grow older to be able to trust me and come to me if they needed help. I watch Laural with Kyla and am very touched by how much effort she puts into being a loving and caring aunt. She'll call out of the blue some days to see if she can take Kyla for an ice cream in the evening. I feel good knowing that if Kyla was in trouble and didn't feel she could come to me, that she would be able to talk to my sister.
4. Being a working mom -
Here, as usual, Laural and I have chosen different paths. Laural shines as a working mom. I would be an utter failure. I will go back to work sooner than later, but as a bit of a homebody, I want to have quiet moments with my kids during the day and be the one to go on adventures with them. I like my small network of friends, and the small routines I've put in place. I can't imagine Laural lasting long with this. Laural always has a hundred and one things on the go at work - dives into the social aspect of work, and then easily comes home and slides into being a mom. I haven't figured out how she switches back and forth so quickly, except to assume that the GO is actually a magical ride from one realm to the other. She literally jumps from work, to home, to the gym, to friends, without missing a beat. It's exhausting to watch, but exciting as well! I could never do it.
I would never take a toddler on the train by myself. Not because it can't be done, I just wouldn't think I could do it. Laural gets excited about the idea, jumps in, and then looks back to debate the obstacles. Throughout her life she has had experiences I could only hope to have because she does this. Her life is a series of stories that keep you enraptured and wanting to hear more. I live alongside this and love every minute of my life as Laural's sister.


Anonymous said...

Hello there - Becky.
Well done on your first Blog, a good read at that :-)

You and Laural, I say, very unique but do share many and may I add - a passion for a close sisterly bond.

Keep up the good work and look forward to reading more while the queen of shopping has gone AWOL, lol.

AndreAnna said...

This was done so nicely! She will be proud when she reads it. :)

Natalie said...

Good job Becky!

LoriD said...

Your love and admiration for your sister shines through this. I completely understand that things about masking how you really are with your kids to *appear* perfect. My mom was telling me about a visit she had with a friend's daughter who has three kids the same age as mine. My mom said "Lori, you're just amazing. My friends all have kids with one, two or three kids that they just can't manage on her own. You're obviously a natural." Ha!

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

Well done, Becky! What a great post.
Very interesting to hear your side of things. It is VERY clear that you are a loving and supportive sister. Laural is very lucky to have you! Great perspective to see things from the other side. Thanks!!! Are you hooked to this blogging thing yet? Maybe you'll start your own blog now?!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a mom but LOVE reading Laural's blog as it is so entertaining and honnest. I am terrified at the idea of being a mom (even though I'm in my early 30's!). I admire moms like Becky & Laural!