Friday, May 12, 2006

Mother's Day - My friend Ginny

With Mother's Day coming we hear a lot about the mothers we love the most. So, for the next couple days I am going to post about some mothers who are special to me. Today is my friend Ginny.

Ginny lives in my building. Before Matthew was born she and her husband were the "couple on my floor with the cute kid." (Mackenzie is now 3 and a half). I said hi when I saw them and that was pretty much it until I was in my third trimester and I noticed that Ginny, too, was expecting.

One day we started chatting in the elevator and realized that our due dates were close. And, our crazy property manager Andrew (A Filipino-Chinese man who sings Abba and always tells us that he would be on Broadway if it weren't for his hertiage) was pretty determined that we should be friends.

Not too long after that both of us gave birth - Lindsey was born on April 2 and Matthew was born on April 6. Neither of our births were picture perfect. We both came home from the hospital sore, tired and sleep deprived. (I think that is like most parents). And, our husbands returned to work on the same day. I sat in my condo crying and Ginny sat in her condo crying. And, then she did something that changed our lives. She got herself and her kids dressed (how is beyond me) and came and knocked on my door.

I opened the door to this woman with her kids and she simply said "Hi. I'm Ginny. How are you doing?"

The truth was, I was awful. I didn't know the first thing about being a mom, I was scared and tired and sore and trying to keep it all together. I intended to say "Fine thanks for asking" but instead I looked at her, burst into tears and didn't quite know what to say. I didn't have time to be embarrased because she looked at me and started to cry too.

It was a scene that I will remember forever.

We decided to have coffee that day, and from then on we were fast friends. We got to know each other and our kids really well. We discussed everything from the merits of Baby Einstein videos to the finer details of our relationships. We laughed together a lot, and we cried together too. We shared post-pregnancy clothes, recipes and even toilet paper! Throughout the first few months of my son's life she made me feel like I wasn't crazy, and that more importantly I was a good mom. When I went through the struggle of formula vs. nursing she was the person who called me to say that giving my child formula was not evil, but offered to take me to the breastfeeding clinic if I needed to go.

To me, Ginny is the friend that every new mom needs to have. I often wonder if I could have made it through the first few months without her. She kept me sane and kept me laughing. she still keeps me sane and keeps me laughing. I don't know what I would have done without her.

1 comment:

Ginny said...

Dammit, I hate crying at work!!
You know I often think about the day I knocked on your door. I remember sitting on my couch crying (along with my two girls) wondering how in the world I would cope with an 18mth old and a newborn all by myself.
Knocking on your door was the best thing I did that day. You may have felt like an in-experienced first time mom but you were like an angel sent to keep me sane.
I am so thankful that I was lucky enough to have great neighbours to hang out with and laugh and cry with that year. It made a world of difference to me!!
Thanks for the kind words. I want you to know that you gave all that back and more!!

PS - Andrew was out in the hall last week singing away so loudly we could hear him from our living room. Of course this was just after the girls went down and were finally quiet. James actually went out into the hall and told him to keep it down. He had his headphones on!! Broadway, here he comes!!! LOL