Friday, August 17, 2007

Friends

I've written a lot about my friend Ginny on my blog.
I truly believe she's the mom friend that everyone needs - the one who seeks you out, helps keep you sane and doesn't judge you on your decision.
The thing is, what made our friendship so easy at first was that we lived so close to each other. We lived in the same condo, on the same floor. We could pick up the phone and literally meet in the hallway 30 seconds later. So much of our experience was common - we shopped at the same grocery store, we attended the same playgroups, we had the same issues with a crazy property manager (who tried to make us sing Abba at Christmas parties).
And then things changed.
Within a couple weeks I moved out of the condo (not for good) and Ginny went back to work. Then I went back to work. Then I moved back to the condo. Then I moved away from the condo. And now Ginny's family is (finally) moving out of the condo.
Phew.
It's been a whirlwind friendship. And, of all the friendships I've been in, ours has probably seen the most growth literally and figuratively. We've gone from mothers agonizing over whether formula and soothers were tools of the devil (we learned better) to mothers debating whether it's better to put your child in afterschool care or daycare. We discuss the merits of the schools our 3 years olds will attend and whether my son biting me means I'm a bad mother or not.
We've also grown as women. I see both of us as more secure, confident women than we were when we first met.
There's lots I can say on my blog knowing that I won't be judged, but a lot of it I don't say out loud to many people. Ginny is my human sounding board - the person who I know may not agree with me but will most certainly not judge me.
So last night we got together.
Her mom lives near me - and Ginny was in town. I had a free evening. Our kids were taken care of, and so we met at Starbucks.
And, over lattes we shared a bunch of laughs, and reminisced a lot. We talked about the big next steps in her life (moving to a house!!!) and some of the choices I'm making in mine. And, I realized that right now we are at SUCH a different point in our lives in some ways. But, I also realized that as much as she played such a role in my life when we were at a similar point, being at different places and celebrating the differences, and the experiences and the changes with someone who may not be there with you, but certainly GETS IT is pretty freaking wonderful.
The truth is, we don't see each other nearly enough. We can go months with a quick little e-mail just to say we still exist or a hello on Facebook. But, when we do see each other I realize that the friendship we have is the kind that can withstand the craziness of life and making seeing that person just pretty cool.
So, Ginny, congrats on selling, and buying and being where you want to be. I couldn't be prouder!

3 comments:

Ginny said...

I can't tell you how much it means to me to read this Laural.
You know I feel the same way too. You have come such a long way and have been through so much and I miss that you aren't around the corner anymore. But as you know, we all move in different directions and life gets crazy but it's the people you can easily catch up with over coffee who will stay with you for many years! I'm still thankful that I knocked on your door and cried with you that day because I have a friendship with you that will last a long time whether we live close by or not!
Last night was definitely worth the dentist 'cancellation'!!!

Haley-O said...

I have a friend like that, too. She doesn't have kids, is dating a younger guy, and she's moving to Bermuda in a week! We couldn't be any more different! But, we share a history together, and we understand and respect each other's differences. We don't judge. It's a rare thing -- this kind of friendship! But, it's awesome. It's on a soul level that you don't have to work at; it just is. BEST kind of friendship. :) It's so great that you have this with Ginny. :)

Really nice post, LD. :)

Teena said...

It's nice to have a friend like that.