Friday, August 24, 2007

Grrr ...

I try not to be bothered too much by people who are just annoying. However.
Do you know what really bugs me? People who are overly judgemental and don't know what they are speaking about.
I had a conversation with someone about kids the other day. It came up in conversation that when I had my child it was a difficult time. I don't talk much about it. Really, I'm not one of those people who wants to share their birth story.
But it wasn't pretty. I don't dwell, but it still angers me a little. What I will say is that having a tough birth (and I know I'm not alone) made for a tough start as a mom.
I had anticipated being that mom who has coffee with her friends while her adorable baby sleeps in the stroller next to her.
The first time I had a post-baby coffee outside of my home was when Matt was 6 weeks and my mom took me out to Starbucks. He screamed so much that I insisted on going back to the car because so many people were staring.
My point is this: before Matthew I was the type of person who was up for just about anything. I rarely take a sick day. I was just a generally strong person.
This child has been kicking my butt since day one.
And, I'm a better person for it. I'm way more empathetic and kind. I'm grateful.
But, this person told me that no matter how hard the birth is, it's all in the attitude. If you decide you can get up and go out and conquer the world you can.
It's all in attitude.
Who cares that breastfeeding is hard - you're just a wimp.
Usually I let these things pass. But this really annoyed me. Today I am still annoyed. I feel much better having written this. But still.
Keep your opinions to yourself.


AndreAnna said...

I know exactly how you feel!

I remember trying desperately to breastfeed. I hired lactation help, a doula, called LLL (who now officially scare me), bought books, took classes before Igave birth, pumped every two hours round the clock, Ev. Ery. Thing. Just never had enough milk and couldn't get the premature baby to latch.

And after six weeks, I gave up because I was a useless, shriveling, miserable human. And I'd rather be a good mother to a formula fed baby than a bad mother to an underweight breastfed baby.

But through it all, you know what was the worst? Those holier-than-thou breastfeeders who would never let me live it down. On message boards, on blogs, places I was looking to for help, I found judgment and condescension.

Wow, I totally went on a tangent. Anyway, what I learned was that a lot of people suck and you have to believe in yourself enough to ignore them when they talk, Or punch them in the nose. ;)

MandyPoo said...

Whether to breastfeed or bottlefeed is simply a choice of the mom (& dad). Sure, I have my opinions, just as everyone else has theirs, but like you said, "Keep your opinions to yourself!" People just don't know how to do that when it comes to other people's pregnancy, babies, and children.

Oh, and I almost forgot the reason I clicked on your blog today - you've been tagged in a MeMe! Go see:

Teena said...

My mother was the same. She didn't understand why some women went on and on in labour yet we just popped out. Huh?! I would bet that given a choice, all women would forego labour if they could.