Potty Time & Gum - Bad Mommy!

Edited at the Bottom!In case you want to know the outcome
Friday morning.
Our household is cranky. It's rainy and icky. And, really, all I want to do is have a quiet morning, get out the door on good time, and hurry up with the day.
Matty had other plans. He chose today to denounce the use of diapers in our house.
After his morning potty session (we're really good about getting him out of bed and plopping him on the potty), he was okay getting dressed except for the diaper part.
"No Mommy. No diaper."
Ummmmmm. What? This is a child who would be happiest if he could run around all day in a diaper and nothing else. And now, suddenly, he wants underwear.
Of course we had some. So, on when the Bob underpants. And Matty was so happy.
I figured that what I would do is just pack a ton of underwear (like all 5 pairs that he owns), a bunch of diapers, a bunch of clothes and send him to daycare.
I'm not really thinking okay, you guys have 2 weeks till we move - toilet trian. But, let's be honest ... It would be nice!!!
So, I wrote a long note to his (somewhat strong-willed) teacher about my reasoning and off we went. My assumption was that the easy going usual morning teacher would be in, and she would say, sure, whatever. And that would be that.
But, NO! His regular, strong-willed-say-what's-on-her-mind was in. And, she basically flipped out when I told he was in underwear.
"WHAT?!?!?!"
Yes, I calmly said. He has chosen to wear underwear today and we went with it. He's used the potty this morning. I've packed lots of extra stuff. We're good.
She wasn't too happy. I guess we hadn't talked about it. And I did kind of spring it on her. But, I also made it really clear that if she wanted to put his diaper on right then and there that was totally fine. My point was just that he asked for underwear and I was encouraging it.
I'm a big believer in the idea that kids hit milestones when they are ready. And, if it's time to give up diapers ... bring it on!
We left. She was snippy. It was a weird morning.
Oh, and before we left she noticed that Matthew was, shocker, chewing gum.
She pointed out that he is NOT allowed to chew gum, and that it is very dangerous and made him spit it out. Apparently gum is not allowed at daycare.
BAD MOMMY!
Honestly, on the weekend, when we were at Walmart, I let him put a quarter in the chiclets gum machine, and he was enamored by it. I taught him to chew gum not swallow it. And it was pretty darn cute to me. I didn't realize he had saved some of it in his car seat for a day like today.
Anyway, instead of just fessing up to the whole thing I said to the teacher. "I'm sorry. I didn't give it to him. He found it."
Oops. Mike just looked at me. I guess it sounded like he had taken it from the bottom of a desk or something.
Dammit!
It just kept getting worse and worse. So, not only was I the worst mommy in the world for the diaper thing. I let my kid chew found gum. And, then to top it all off I asked for a hug goodbye and he said "wait a minute" to which she said "that's not how you talk to mommy!"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's no wonder motherhood stresses me out.
Pass me a drink. I need it this morning. This mothering this is tough.
It's a good thing that I didn't mention to her that last night he begged me to stop at Tim Hortons for a sprinkle donut and chocolate milk (which I did) and he then ate the entire donut, got home, sat and watched cars and ate cheese strings, and then we called it a night. No balanced dinner, no reading before bedtime. Just donuts, cheese and a movie.
I call that fun.
Some people would call that bad parenting.
I honestly just think we all need a vacation.

So I went to get Matthew at the end of the day. He was back in diapers. They actually did try to bring him to the potty several times, but he decided he wanted diapers. I came home with a bag full of wet clothes (including shoes).
I had a lengthy chat with Doug, the male teacher. He told me that he thinks Matt is waffling a bit. He said that all week his diaper has been dry all day - and that today it was wet at every change. So, I asked if he thought that was weird. He said that no, it means that he's making a point that he will toilet train in his own time. He said that the good news is that a child who can control like that is actually ready for Toilet Training. He said that most kids like this can literally train overnight when they are ready.
So, I'm sticking with not pushing this till we move (and after Christmas). I think. Or maybe we will tell him Santa won't come unless he uses the potty. I'M KIDDING! I'm only a kind of bad mommy. I'm not that mean!
Besides, we are currently using Santa in way too many other bribes. Like, we can't buy toys or Santa will be sad. You can't have a meltdown or Santa will be sad. And, blissfully, we have taken a break from Raffi to listen to "Santa Music." Anyway, that had nothing to do with potty training now did it???

Hmmm

Matthew has a new daycare teacher.
Here's the thing - it's a he!
I know I shouldn't notice these things, and that it shouldn't matter. But for some strange reason I find it incredibly fascinating that Matthew has a male daycare teacher. Male daycare teachers are few and far between.
Truthfully, I really like the guy. No.... not like that. I'm married! Geez. But, I think he's really cool and funny. I was asking him today about his role at the daycare.
Is he now in the preschool room full time? Yes.
How does he enjoy it? It turns out that he's worked with fives for 5 years. In a sense it's a step down, but one he was excited about.
Okay then.
Who knew that going down an age group was a step down? Not me.
So he said they hired him to bring some consistency to the preschool room. I thought that was pretty interesting. Also interesting is how the kids all relate to him. Matt just does whatever the guy says. All the kids do.
I sware one of the little girls has a little crush. She was like "this is Josh" as she followed him around the classroom. It was pretty adorable.
Honestly, I kind of wondered how on earth he handles it. So I asked him how he deals with toddlers and women all day every day. His response? He has a glass of red wine when he gets home.
Hilarious!
It almost makes me wish we were staying there longer. Just to see how this guy works out. But who knows. He may be gone before we are.

Picture Day and Santa Songs

Today was picture day for Matthew.
I became a little paranoid that I'd miss Chrustmas pictures all together. I didn't book at my usual picture location (Superstore) and so Walmart it was today.
I was a little concerned because this morning started off well. Matt got up nice and early so I took him for an early morning grocery shopping trip at Food Basics. He was amazingly well behaved. And then we got home, watched tv, and then got him ready for the picture. He was dressed and groomed and looking adorable.
And then he had a complete meltdown.
We had no idea why. It was weird. It was like he was tired or something, but it was not normal meltdown time. But, with the clock ticking we decided to pop him in the car and go anyway. The rational was that we'd probably have to wait awhile when we got to Walmart, but we needed to keep our space in line.
10 minutes later we were in the car - and Matt was still hysterical. We tried Raffi, we tried 6 stations. Nothing worked. So out came the children's Christmas mix.
YIPPEE!!!
It turns out that Santa music - in particular a very hyped up version of Jingle Bells - is what does it. Thirty seconds into the song Matt was rocking out, I was singing at the top of my lungs and Mike was shielding his face from the people staring at us from the other cars. (His comment of "I'm embarrassed for you" was a little unnecessary since Matt and I were having a blast and he wsa being a party pooper.)
And, so we got to Walmart with a happy child.
Half an hour after our allotted time the photos started.
Being the cool parents that we are we let Matt choose the background. He was delighted by the background of Santa peering through a window. Cheesy, yes. But, it's Walmart photos, and quite honestly I thought it was pretty funny.
And, honestly, once they started shooting, Matt was hilarious. He was smiling, he was posing, he was laughing with the photographer. Mike turned to me at one point and said "why isn't he modelling?" I dont' know. Even the photographer agreed with us.
In the end we came out with AMAZING pictures. The one we settled on for the card is decidedly un-Christmassy, but it was so cute and funny we just went for it. Plus, we have our extremely Christmassy photo with Santa in it for the "package" we ordered so who cares.
There were a couple of downfalls to going to Walmart vs. a regular photo studio.
First of all, the people there are crazy. The lady who was getting her kids pictures done 2 spots ahead of us was freaking out at her kids (aged 8,5 & 2). At one point Matt and the other kids in the room were scared, and I had to promise Matt I would not scream at him like that. Honestly.
Then the people behind us in line were crazy.
The girl was playing with Matt and her mom kept screaming "don't let the little boy see your underwears."
First - there is no S on underwear.
Second - he's 2. And they were playing. GET OVER IT!!!
So that was a little weird.
The whole way home we listened to Jingle Bells again and again and again.
Man, I LOVE Christmas.
Also, on a totally separate topic. Matthew is into choosing different fruits and veggies to try. Does anyone know what to do with avocados or mangoes. Together or separately? I'm lost for ideas.

Just Be

It seems like in motherhood, or parenthood for that matter, there are some really hard days. The ones that take it out of you, that make you question if you were really cut out for this journey, if you will have the strength to make it through to bedtime (if it happens) without a stiff drink and a few tears.
I have those days a lot.
But days like today make up for all of those.
There was nothing particularly special about today. We didn't have anything planned. There was no major even going on, we had no plans to go anywhere. Nothing.
We just let the day happen.
And today was amazing.
I wish I could explain it in detail, dissect why today seemed like a special day, what I did differently, how today worked. But I can't. And maybe that's the magic about it.
Today just worked. We had fun. We painted, we glittered glued, we watched a movie as a family. We did a little shopping and a lot of playing. We had a whole lot of fun.
One of my most prized possessions is a necklace that Mike bought for me. It says on it "Just Be". I wear it all the time, because it reminds me, whenever I have it on, of that phrase - just be. It means different things on different days. Sometimes it reminds me that the best person I can be is myself - not some version of me that is louder or quieter or prettier or smarter.
And, sometimes, like today, it reminds me to just let things be. Don't push everything to be perfect. Who cares if the laundry is done, if my house is spotless or if my hair is shiny. Just be - and let life go on.
And, you know what? Today I did just that and the day worked.
Sure I am still worried about a ton of stuff - our upcoming move, our finances, Christmas, etc.
But today I let it go. And I relaxed. And enjoyed.
And today ... was perfect!

Mean Mommy ... continued

I have decided I don't like the term Mean Mommy. Tough yes. Mean no.
We're on to day 3 of this reformed parenting. My basics - still be fun, but a little firmer. Don't accept the stuff that is bratty, but try to enjoy the stuff that is fun.
Last night we put it to the test - with a night on the town.
Okay, really, I'd had a couple drinks after work, Mike picked up Matt but there was major traffic, so we decided to meet at Yonge & Eglinton for dinner. I promised to order ahead so that it wouldn't be a long wait.
This was the first dinner out, pretty much since Matt was a teeny tiny sleeping infant, that I can say we actually were relaxed at dinner.
Here were the ground rules. We had a booth by the window, so he was allowed to stand on the bench, sit by the window and go under the table. He could colour and could drink chocolate milk. Screaming, running around, jumping on the bench or climbing on the table, as well as this weird hold the table and climb the bench backward trick were all forbidden.
Amazingly, he complied. He sat for dinner, he chatted, we all had fun.
When he started to misbehave there was no waffling. We didn't go with the "no" we so often use, we told him that we did not like it when he jumped on the bench. We told him it was not how you behave.
For the most part he listened. And, it was a long dinner since Pickle Barrel service is SOOOOO slow. (seriously, I hate how slow their service is).
In fact, he was so well behaved and we were so impressed that Mike - yes, Mike not me - suggested that we take him to Indigo to play with the Thomas Table.
Okay.
So off we went to Indigo for 45 minutes. Mike bought us coffees and Matt played Thomas.
Again with the tough parenting, we made it clear that he needed to share the toys or we would leave. So, the one really funny part was when he started to yell - "sharing sharing" as he took another kid's toy. But, that was funny - and quickly resolved. We actually enjoyed a quiet cup of coffee and chatted while our remarkably well behaved child played. It was fantastic.
The only low part of the evening was leaving. He left the store just fine, but when we didn't let him go on the car and boat rides for more than a minute he completely freaked out.
So, there I was holding a screaming, kicking toddler under my arm as we rode down the escalator. He was screaming "I want the RRRRIIIDDDEEESSS" as I was firmly saying "I don't care - that's not how we behave".
Golden.
The moment ended when Mike suddenly said "Christmas Tree" and Matt was distracted.
All in all a good evening.
Fingers crossed this is a new trend.

Mean Mommy

Lately I've been struggling a lot with my son's behaviour.
Yes, he's a toddler. Yes, he says the word no a lot. Yes, that's typical toddler behaviour. I know temper tantrums are to be expected, and I'm ready to face them head on.
But, what I've been thinking about, and really questionning myself on is how much of this is typical toddler behaviour and how much of this is me allowing my child to be a brat. Because, some days, I have to admit that Matt is kind of bratty.
Don't get me wrong. I love my child to death. And, much of the time I appreciate him for the adorable, wonderful, loving child that he is.
But, I don't want him to be a brat.
I'm starting to notice that some of these bratty behaviours occur only around me. For instance, he can be playing really nicely at daycare, see me, and suddenly start whining. Or, I'll stick around to talk to his teacher and he just starts being bad.
His favourite trick is to pull my arm really hard until I leave. I just let him do it. His teacher stepped in and said "Matthew. That hurts Mommy. Stop."
She was firm and serious and he stopped. Right away.
Or, if he goes to open the door and leave I let him do it, and then chase him down the hall. Kayla (his teacher) tells him no, and he just walks away.
Why?
According to the reading I've done, part of this is because I'm his mom. And, he's more comfortable around me. Knows my limits, all of that. And, his teachers play a different role. So, okay. That's fine.
But, I am learning I need to be a little firmer.
So, I've started.
Call it Operation Mean Mommy. Call it whatever you want. But, I've had it with all of this bad behaviour.
The one thing his teacher suggested is that I need to be really clear in my demands. So, today when he kept saying no to me about getting dressed I said (in my new mean mommy voice)
"Mommy does not like it when you say no to me."
So, he looked at me, said yes, and on went the clothes.
Ummmm ... okay. This is easy!
Then at daycare I asked for my hug goodbye. He was completely pre-occupied with his trains and said "not right now. Wait a minute" (well, actually he said "wait a millet").
So I said "No. Mommy has to go to work - I don't like it when you say not right now."
And he jumped up and came running for a kiss.
Apparently we need to use the phrases that work for him. So, we are learning. But, the one thing I do know is that as Matthew gets older I want a child who is fun to be around. I'm not looking for a little soldier with no opinion. But, screaming at me, hitting me, and not respecting me at all. I've finally had it.

Donuts to Dollars ... A new babysitter

Last night we had a babysitter.
Shocking. I know.
We had a final shoot for the show we are doing, and in desperation I e-mailed the producer and she arranged for a babysitter while we went to do our shoot.
I was totally fine with the idea of this girl coming over. She's a kindergarten teacher, studied ECE and has babysat for numerous families. And, I trust Matt with the teachers at daycare every day. So, what's the big deal.
Who knows - I just totally panicked about 15 minutes before she arrived. Our house was messy, I didn't have a fullsome emergency contact list (okay - the list had about 20 people on it) and I was worried. A babysitter. In my home. We honestly have never done that.
When Lara arrived I calmed down a bit.
First of all, she was really cool. And, totally relaxed. And she asked all the right questions - bedtime, teeth brushing, tv, etc. Matt seemed to like her. And, so we left. (okay more like Mike dragged me).
But, I've gotta say. It went really well.
We came home to a sleeping child who had his pyjamas on, his teeth brushed and was happy. The girl worked magic.

Hats, Hotel Discounts & Hilarity - Buffalo Style

Ahhh - the girls' weekend.
There's so much I want to blog about, and so much that just cna't be explained in words. Just in experience.
To start with, I have to say this was a weekend that we all desperately needed. It was a weekend to have fun, be silly and not worry about kids. And, trust me - fun was had by all.
The fun started when we were sititng in a line for an hour to cross the border. For some reason none of us (my sister Becky, friend Ketly and I) thought it was a bad idea to get grande lattes from Starbucks en route. By the time we hit the border line - an hour and a half line up - we all needed to pee.
So, in order to get our minds off of the need to pee we decided to pull out the Cosmo that I had so wisely purchased and do the quiz. Now, for 3 old married women (ha ha) the question of whether or not we were aggressive with men was pretty funny. What was even funnier was when Ketly, who I would never describe as shy, was told that she was not aggressive enough with men, and was sent to a different storyin the magazine - How to draw out your inner sex kitten.
By the time we got to the border crossing we all knew how to bring out our inner sex kitten, which may explain why the border guard waved us through despite my lack of proper i.d.
One pee break later and we were ready to shop.
We just had to get to the outlets.
So ....
We passed the outlets. Four toll bridges, 3 u-turns and one phone call to my dad later we finally made it to the outlet mall.
There were some incredibly interesting things at the outlet mall.
There were the boots that Ketly found that had some extra bling on them. (bling=sugar in Becky's world).
There was the tam at the Burberry outlet - that had a giant pom pom on the top. That I insisted I try on. It was stunning.
And really, it went on an on.
Sadly, my big outlet purchase was a box of Mike and Ike's at the dollar store.
We then went on a target shopping trip. Again - not so successful - except for the 12 pacakges of daily lip glosses I bought. They were super cool. Super cool. (I bought ones for my BFAW's - love you guys!)
So, by the time we got to Olive Garden and were told it was an hour and 20 minute wait we were getting a little giddy.
And we went to Big K - Kmart - for some shopping fun. Okay, so I did pretty well there. I got the coolest skirt. I love it. And, as I went to pay the funniest thing of the entire weekend happened. The woman behind me was purchasing about 5 million hats.
So, picture it, I had my stuff on the counter, and then I looked behind me and she had put down a red fedora. Weird.
And then she started to pull out tons and tons of grey and black hats. I started to crack up and then Becky and Ketly saw and got started.
Anyone who has seen me have a complete giggle fit will understand what suddenly happened. The more hats she placed on the counter the funnier it go. She had about 100 - and she kept counting them. As I'm losing it, this man walks past, stops, looks at the scene and says to Becky and Ketly "Wow - who buys that many hats." I was gone.
I tried to contain myself. And, the laughter just kept popping out. I got to the table at Olive Garden, got all the way to eating with just little giggles, but when the waitress brought out Ketly's meal and dropped the steak I lost it. I'm still laughing about it.
The rest of the weekend. Well, it mostly had it's highs. Like when I complained about the room we got at the hotel and they took $53 off the room price (apparently the "tree people" had been there and torn the hotel apart and made the rooms stinky. Who are the tree people??? Why $53??? We will never know.)
And, then we went to another mall and filled my shopping quota.
It was a good weekend.
We'll do it again!!!!

Shuffle off to Buffalo

Yay yay yay!
Today my posse and I (i.e. the secret society my sister and I call the PCD) are going to Buffalo.
Why?
Because we all deserve a break. And what better break can anyone think of than a day spent shopping at the outlet mall, dinner at Olive Garden and a night at a hotel - with no kids!!!!
I am giddy with excitement.
Of course we are getting Starbucks for the trip down. Yay! I'm going for a full fat grande latte. That will cost more than dinner at Olive Garden, I'm sure!!!
We have been talking about this for awhile, but finally we are going.
The plan is not to spend a lot of money. There are limits at the border. But, it's more about the fun of the experience. We've all packed magazines, books and are buying wine.
And we are hoping to sleep in. No 5 am wake up calls or snoring husbands (sorry Mike!) Just some sleep and rest and of course the shopping.
And, just for a little historical note that I am soooo proud of. Our family roots go back to Buffalo. My grandmother grew up there, and her father (or maybe grandfather) laid the founding stone of Buffalo City Hall. So, there is kind of a historical purpose for this trip.
Okay, not so much.
But, many of my friends think my pride of Buffalo is kind of amusing. I guess it is :)
And, completely off topic, but.
This week I was soooo off my diet. It was Halloween and I let loose. I ate a ton of candy. Yesterday Mike and I had jack Astors for lunch and then we had a pasta dish for dinner.
And, then today I weighed myself since it's Weight Watchers weigh-in day for me. Guess what?!?!? I was down half a pound. Is that weird or WHAT???
Am I justified in assuming that chocolate burns fat? Maybe it is relative to the speed in which I am eating the chocolate. I think that must be it.

The Great Daycare Decision - Again!

Yet again we are making a daycare decision.
Since we are moving, we obviously need to move Matt to a different daycare. Initially we had planned to put him in his old daycare in Oakville. But, it's been kind of weird. The lady who runs that daycare doesn't return my calls that often. And, I got worried that there would be no spot for him.
So, I started looking around at other daycares in the area. As much as I loved the old daycare, the location is a little inconvenient, and in all honesty it's been about 8 months since he was there and so he won't remember anyone.
I got thinking that perhaps I should find a daycare that will be a feeder daycare to the school he will attend when he is in junior kindergarten.
So I started looking. And, shockingly I found a spot at a YMCA daycare. I've done enough research to know that this is a somewhat coveted spot, and it only opened up because a mom is going on mat leave. So ....
Today we went to check it out.
I have to admit, I really really like it.
I like the philosophy of play and learning. I like all the little extras like the fact that they have daily log books and that the daycare keeps scrapbooks of their work. I liked the daycare supervisor. I liked the other teachers. They were relaxed. And I liked the other kids. They said hi when we went in, and they were having fun. I also love that we can walk to the daycare from our house. Oh - and the price is awesome too!
So we're going for it. We are sending in our registration fee and we're going to enroll him at that daycare.
Maybe it's weird. But I feel like things are falling together. I said to Mike that sometimes I feel like things work out for a reason and this is just the case.
So, we'll see how it goes.
Since the other daycare hasn't called me back yet, I'm not going to say anything to them. There's definitely a spot there, so I'm going to leave it, and see what happens. Just in case this isn't as perfect as it seems.
Ahhhh ... decisions decisions.

Mr. Jay ...

So for those of you who don't know (where have you been?) I really enjoy the show America's Next Top Model.
I was pretty excited that there was a Canada's Next Top Model, but it kind of didn't compare. Why? Well, first of all the host sucked.
As much as I may not be a big Tyra fan, she brings that crazy, tacky, wonderful psycho-babble appeal to the show. She makes me laugh. She says stupid things like "I love y'all" and makes the girls cry about how difficult it is to be beautiful.
Tricia Helfer. She did not compare. She was boring and had no character.
And, I stopped watching the show!!! (Okay, life was also insanely busy, but whatever).
Then yesterday it was announced that Mr. Jay (see picture above) is the new host of the show. I'M NOT KIDDING!!!
Not only is he my current celebrity crush, he's also just really really cool. Like, he has attitude and will totally rock as the judge of the show.
Actually, I think my hairstylist would totally be good on the show too, but that's beside the point.
I LOVE Mr. Jay.
Love him!
And, now he's hosting Canada's Next Top Model.
Yesterday I got several e-mails about this. Oh, and a BFAW posted about it on her blog - just for me!!!
So, I started to read a little more about it.
Turns out that, sadly, I am not eligible to be on the show.
Okay - so yeah, I'm not exactly model material. I'm about 10 inches too short (I'm 5'2 - though heels make me taller), I'm really much too chubby, and here's the worst part - I'M TOO OLD!! I know. Scary.
So, I will have to be content to sit at home and watch the show. And maybe write a few fan letters to the one and only Mr. Jay.
Is anyone out there on my bandwagon - or is it just me???

I love Halloween, and as these pictures seem to attest to, so does my adorable son!
For me, even though I work full time, Halloween is one of those days that is kind of sacred (ironic since it's a pagan holiday!).
Last year, when I went back to work, I decided that Halloween was my thing with Matt. In fact, the first vacation day I took from this job was to go trick-or-treating with my son.
We go to this annual event called Tots on Parade and all the kids dress in costume and walk along the street getting candy from all of the stores. It's cool because it's set up for toddlers and babies. Big kids (I'd guess age 5 and up) are all in school, so it's all little children. And, it's adorable.
We have always stuck around and gone to my mom's house after for lunch, hung out in the afternoon and then gone trick or treating in the neighbourhood in the evening.
This year was no different.
We started off our day extra early because we had to drop Mike off at work. And then Matt and I went to
park and grab a coffee where we met my mom and sister and niece


This is elephant Matty stopping to smell the flowers











My niece Paige came dressed as a sweet pea. It was adorable.

Trick or Treat!!!

More pics to come ... but for starters check out my brother-in-law in the Star Trek uniform!

Funny Funny Toddler

This weekend was far better than last.
This is in part because we had far fewer temper tantrums. Maybe he got more sleep. Maybe I did something differently. Maybe he ate more. Who knows. I'm not complaining.
And because of the good attitude we had a lot of funnies this weekend.
First - and this is more cool than funny - we discovered that Matthew knows his right and his left. I'm not claiming to have a baby genius or anything. But, this is pretty darn cool. Like, I will stand next to him and say "is mommy on your right or your left." And he always gives me the correct answer.
How did we discover it? Well, we were driving and he said "look, McDonald's." so I said "where?" and he said "on the right." Which was right. And, so I obsessively tested this all weekend.
The thing is, I've always had problems with my right and left. I guess it's a spatial thing. I don't remember when I mastered it, but I really think I was about 9.
So, pretty cool.
Some other funny stuff?
There was just too much. Like he kept looking at me and laughing. It was pretty funny. Or, he's now into saying opposites.
Like he'll say "look at my green shirt" if his shirt is orange.
Funny!
But my favourite was last night. We had the radio on and the Scissor Sisters song came on. Love the song. And, Mike turned it up. And Matty hopped off the couch and started to dance. Like a full out completely adorable dance. And he was dressed only in a diaper.
And then he shouted
"Come on Mommy Daddy. Shake your booty!!!"
Where does he learn this stuff????

Mommy Smackdown - McDonald's Style

Okay

So we weren't exactly in a wrestling ring, but on our weekly trip to McDonald's, Mike and I experienced competetive mommy fighting in its fully glory.

I've been exposed to the competitive mommies many times. You know them and love them. They appear at playgroups, visit drop in centres and lurk at the daycares. They are the ones with the perfectly labelled sippy cups, the tupperware containers with various healthy food options and their children are always perfectly equipped for the weather.

What these women were doing at McDonald's is beyond me. It was an unusual sighting.

Nevertheless ...

I spotted them the moment I sat down. It turns out that Matt chose the seats. And over I came hauling my tray of fattening McDonald's food. I didn't have the gender appropriate happy meal toy nor did I cart along a sippy cup to pour Matt's chocolate milk into. Bad Mommy!!! And, to top it all off, when I opened the chocolate milk it sprayed out and instead of turning it into a lesson I giggled harder than Matt - and licked it off my hand. Bad mommy again! Where were those wipes?

So, as we sat enjoying our food (I got McNuggets people, I did not want McHealthy) the mommies started talking. They drove me crazy. The entire conversation of 10 minutes was pure competition. The first topic of conversation was mitten strings. And they angrily discussed why mittens on strings were better or worse than mittens on clips. Mommy #1 was all about the mittens on strings from Dollarama. Mommy #2 was all about the choking hazard.

Next came stroller accoutrements. Mommy #1 had just spent $75 on her stroller toys. Mommy #2 felt that it was ridiculous to have a cup holder, and didn't think children needed hanging toys.

And, just when I was ready to scream at them (at this point I had explained to Mike what was going on, and he was quite entertained by it) they got on to the topic of Reflux in Babies. Mommy #2 had a baby with reflux. She was tired (though why we all had to hear the sleep patterns of her baby is beyond me) and the Mommy #2 would not shut up about reflux and how it affects babies. Mommy #2 fought her case - why she let her baby sleep in the carrier, why the baby sleeps in her room, what the doctor said, etc etc. Enter mommy #1 telling her she was wrong.

Finally, Mommy #2 said "Oh I didn't know either of your children had reflux." Mommy #1 relented.

Ding ding ding.

Smackdown over. Within seconds Mommy #1 packed up her bag and dragged her children into the playroom.

It made me sooooooo glad that I am not in that wrestling ring any more. I just avoid those conversations. It's not worth it.

A couple minutes later we went to the playland. Matthew climbed the tunnel, got to the very top looked out and started shrieking, just for fun, at the top of his lungs.

I felt inspired by the warring mommies. I thought I should show off some of my stellar parenting skills. I looked up at Matt, smiled, waved, and shouted back

"SCREAM LOUDER MATTY! MOMMY CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU. LOUDER LOUDER!"

I've accepted it. I will never win the mommy wars. But, while I'm fighting the battle I'm gonna have fun :)

The Moment

I think every parent (and grandparent and aunt/uncle, etc) has "the moment" with a child. You know, the one that makes everything worthwhile. No matter what.
That moment for me is every day at daycare.
I pick up Matthew about 90% of the time. And, as soon as I walk in and he sees me, he literally drops everything he is doing and comes running over with a huge hug, a kiss and a big smile. He's usually got a huge smile on his face. Lately he also starts telling me about his day.
I love it.
We've been doing the daycare thing for a little over a year. No matter what goes on in the day. No matter how crappy a start we had to the day, how frustrating his day has been or what crap has gone on at work for me, nothing matters.
At that one moment in the day it's pure love, and I can't get enough of it.

I Got Tagged - So Nine Weird Things about Myself

So, thanks to Jeff from Daddy Diary Tales, I got tagged. So, Here we go ...

NINE WEIRD THINGS ABOUT MYSELF

1) Whenever we get boxes of chocolate, or I am around friends or family with boxes of chocolate, I always bite into a chocolate, decide if I like it, and if I don't I put it back into its original spot pre-bitten. My sister does this too. It's because our grandfather always had Russell Stover chocolates that came with no map. It was just our thing. He would always finish up the chocolates. I really only like the straight chocolate or chocoalte caramel.

2) When I like a song I will buy the cd, but listen to the one favourite song on repeat about 5 million times. I've been known to workout for 45 minutes to the same song.

3) My name is not nicknameable - and that is why when I had a child I came up with a name (Matthew) that had many variations.

4) I always have bizarre dreams. Like, last night I dreamt that we moved to Georgia and went to visit a kangaroo farm where the kangaroos were the size of dinosaurs. Weird! I once asked a psychology teacher if this meant I was mentally unstable. She said that in fact it meant I have a vivid imagination.

5) I have had a crush on my hairdresser for 15 years. Yes, he knows. Yes, he is okay with this. We don't have regular conversations about it though.

6) I am obsessed with my bathroom being clean. I clean it at least 3 times a week. Mike and I have serious arguments over the level of bathroom cleanliness. (We each have our own bathroom, it makes for a good marriage).

7) I lie about my baking skills. People think that I am the best brownie baker in the world. In all honesty, all I ever do is buy a package of brownie mix, add the egg and water, and voila. Sorry- did I just burst everyone's bubble?

8) If it were an ideal world, I would go to bed at 8 pm and be up at 6 am every day. I'm a morning person, not a night person.

9) I've saved the best for last: My "celebrity" crushes over the years have included: Kurt Browning, The Rock, Colm Wilkinson (the guy who played the Phantom of the Opera), Jason Priestly, Tom Selleck (shut up people) and most recently Mr. Jay from America's Next Top Model.

Okay - so that, my friends, is my full craziness of the day.

Okay, people I tag ... I'll come back to that. Gotta do some work.

Frustrated ...

This week the incomparable Her Bad Mother posted a couple of times about her frustrations of being a mother. The key quesiton she asked was "am I bad mother."
Of course she didn't really think she was a terrible mother. And she shouldn't.
But, I have to admit that this week, in particular, this weekend, I've been struggling with tsmae same frustration. And asking myself over and over again - what makes a good mother. And, I guess by the same token, a bad one.
For instance, tonight. Mike and I were completly frustrated by a non-napping toddler whom we had dragged through Walmart. (quickly, mind you). We decided to stop and pick up a pizza to go, but learned it was going to take 20 minutes, so went to Shoppers Drug Mart next door to kill time and pick up a few things we needed.
It was a disaster. All of it.
Midway through our shopping trip Matt found a halloween pitchfork and it was all over. He ran screaming through the store sending things flying in his wake. Shampoo bottles flew off the shelves, staff tried to intercept him. And on he ran. Finally we gave up the chase because it was making him more frantic and I snuck up behind him, grabbed the pitchfork and let him wail.
The pharmacist finally came over and asked if there was some problem.
I couldn't help myself. I said "I have a toddler." Like, pull out some lollipops or leave me alone.
In order to get him out of the store I did what most parenting experts (and financial experts - Gail) would say was horrible. I bought him chips to shut him up.
I felt like a bad parent. Mike decreed our child is spoiled.
Maybe he was just hungry?
Yesterday Matthew and I met my mom on Bloor Street. Matthew was fine when he was doing what he wanted - playing with the Thomas table at Indigo, but when we took him to Starbucks (and gave him chocolate milk, yogurt and toys) he of course had a temper tantrum.
He then had a meltdown at the MAC store (which I never get to go to and would have enjoyed browsing in) and then I promplty had a meltdown and my mom walked us to the subway.
Yes ...
The terrible twos are in full swing. And I am not surviving them so well.
I'm grateful that I'm not a drinker. To clarify, I enjoy a cocktail or a beer, but I don't use it as a vice. I use it for fun. If I did use it as a vice I think I'd be drunk daily.
Instead I eat.
I am a sugaraholic. And, by 7pm tonight I had gone down to the convenience store (another financial no no) and bought a bag of skittles, a bag of Mike and Ike's and a bag of oreo cookies. I have made my way through the Mike and Ike's. The skittles are next.
And as I eat I keep wondering what am I doing wrong.
I'm trying here.
I love Matthew to death. But there are days, frequently it seems, where I am ready to lose it. And, sometimes do. Like, how on earth can a child get frustrated over so many things. He wants chocolate milk so I buy him chocolate milk. Then he has a meltdown because I suggest that he holds his chocolate milk.
Ooookay.
So I hold it. Then he has a meltdown that Mommy is holding his chocolate milk.
And on and on it goes. I've had it.
And oh yeah - OUR COFFEE POT BROKE TODAY!!! And, we bought a replacement coffee pot and the carafe that came in it was broken too.
Life is just not pretty around here.
Thank God I bought those oreo cookies.

BFAW's

So …
What is a BFAW?
It’s kind of like a BFF. Do you know what that means? If you don’t – stop reading. Because this is probably way too juvenile for you. Or maybe not.
BFF means Best Friends Forever. You know – like in grade 7 you buy necklaces and bracelets and various other trinkets to denote that the person you hang out with is your BFF.
To be honest, the person who was my best friend in grade 7 is not my best friend now, so the title does not hold up. No matter how many broken heart necklaces we had, no matter how often we split Popsicles, traded clothes, talked on the phone and shared our crushes, the best friendom did not last through the ninth grade division of popularity powers.
I’m okay with that.
I had many friends. I did find a really good best friend near the end of high school – and she still holds that spot. She was my maid of honour and helped deliver my baby. (she’s a midwife though she was not mine she was there).
Anyway, back the BFAW thing.
It struck me as really funny when someone at work called the group of us that e-mail back and forth and occasionally go for lunch her BFAW’s. Or …
Best Friends At Work.
I love it. It’s funny.
And, I think we all need BFAW’s. I totally struggle with whole issue of work friendships. I mean, you want to be social. I need to be social. But there are all sorts of boundaries you don’t want to cross.
Work is work. Social life is social life.
Should they cross.
I say yes. Not completely. Good Lord. The BFAW’s work in legal. I’m in a different department. There’s so much that we can’t talk about – that we’re forced to talk about things completely unrelated to work. I love that.
Besides, who wants to work all day and then talk about work at lunch. Who really cares how many files you sorted? Well, obviously it matters in the work context, but get me out of the office and I just don’t care.
I love that I can talk to people about kids and relationships and arguments and all of that. And part of the juiciness of it all is that they don’t know my family. Would I introduce them? Of course. But, most of the time it’s almost like an anonymous conversation.
And that’s cool.
And they are cool
That doesn’t mean that no one else at work could fall under this category. But, the truth is we’re not in grade 7. The more BFAW’s the BETTER!!!!

Cat Pee

We have a cat named Mojo (or Moj or Momo). She is usually well behaved. Though we call her poopy because she poops a lot. Matthew adores her. So do I. Mike tolerates her.

He also cleans out her litter box often. As do I. Matt is mostly responsible for feeding her. (we prompt him).

On Sunday I asked Mike to change her cat litter. I didn't pay that much attention. I was making dinner. He was dumping the cat litter. I vividly recall him bringing Matt to the garbage chute to dump the litter. Beyond that I wasn't paying much attention.

So this morning. As I am drinking my coffee at 5:30 Mojo starts scratching in the hallway. You know, that pre-pee scratch. Weird. I think to myself she must be affected by us moving. So ... I pick her up and relocate her just outside the litter box. She looks at me. Meows. Walks back to the hallway. Okay. Maybe she was chasing a shadow.

Scratch scratch scratch again. Hmmm.... I walk over. There she is - peeing on the nice tall black boots I was going to wear today. Lovely. Has our cat gone crazy???

So, I get annoyed, but pick her up and bring her to her litter box. I decide that this time I will put her in the litter box to ensure she clearly gets my message that cats go in the litter box.

I was actually concerned. My sister's cat had to go on kitty kat Prozac. She was depressed. I thought maybe my cat was going down the depression road. Which would be sad. But, she seems quite happy most of the time.

So as I am carrying her and trying not to let my anger show I was questionning her actions.

Why? Why did she not use the litter box?

Oh - well that is because Mike did not put more kitty litter in the box. It was just a big plastic box. With nothing in it!!! Not even, since we apparently ran out of cat litter, newspaper.

So, by this time it's 5:45. I wake up Mike. I'm not freaking out. Just calmly tell him that I need to decide on a whole new outfit since that cat peed on my boots. Since there was no kitty litter for her.

So annoyed today. So annoyed. I did fill the litter box with paper. Since I had to leave early. And I didn't know what else to do. I'm sure Mojo will survive. It's my clothing that I'm worried about!!!

PS - BFAW's (you know who you are) Blogging about you guys tomorrow. Because my cat pee story could not wait!

Matty and Mojo - in happier, not peeing on my boots days. And yes, she loves sleeping on my stuff.

On Haircuts, a Night Out and A Major lack of Sleep

Oh Yesterday.

It was fun.

First of all, the much anticipated date with Bill. Oh wait. I mean a haircut. For those of you who don’t know me that well, it’s hard to understand what exactly gets me so freaking excited about my hair cuts.

Okay, so perhaps it is because for the past (almost) 15 years I have known and loved Bill. No, get your minds out of the gutter. He’s gay. He has a partner. I’m married. It’s not like that. In fact, I think that is what makes it so special.

Anyway …

So, the Bill experience. It’s great. I always go in feeling good and leave feeling fantastic. It is about the hair, but it’s also about having someone spend an hour just telling you that you are fabulous, and letting you leave feeling like you really are. There’s no reason behind it. I figured out a long time ago that the money involved – well, I don’t go often enough for him to rely on the price I pay. So, it really is just about feeling good.

And, yesterday in particular was great. I told him I want to look like Stacey on What Not to Wear. I have some growing to do, but basically he said that was possible. And, then he made me like a poofy (in a good way) Stacey which was pretty cool. And then he told me that this was the first time we’d gone this mature with my hair.

Yes, I agreed. Stunning.

The funny part of the afternoon was when we got on the topic of one of my favourite writer who shall remain unnamed. I was like “I LOVE said writer.” Bill, was like “OH MY GOD! I HATE HER!”

It was hilarious.

We have never disagreed on something so vehemently. It was not brutal. I was just as gushing about my love for her writing as he was about his hate. Though I relented. He won when he said “I would pay someone to cut her columns out of my paper.”

To that I had no come back. And, he said “Is this the first chink in our relationship.”

Ummmm … yeah.

But let’s be honest.

Even my favourite writer could not compete with Bill.

So after the hair cut (which ended with Bill saying, “You’ve changed, you’re happy and whatever is going on you’re working it” – side note, Angela, that is such a Tyra line) I met up with some friends and went for drinks.

It was LOVELY. It was just a lot of fun. Laughing and joking. It was a couple of old friends me and I introduced them to a new friend. And, of course since one of the old friends there was Stef she got recognized from Mean Girls. And because I’d had a couple of drinks it was extra funny.
Too fun.

And, I actually got home at a decent hour. After a bizarre subway ride where the driver kept singing the subway stops. At one point the guy across from me looked up caught my eye and imitated her. It was so ridiculous that I started to giggle. Funny!

So anyway, I got home and went to bed. And man was I tired and ready to sleep. And since I felt a cold coming on I even took a couple of NyQuils.

And then 2:30 came. And Matt woke up shrieking. Poor little monkey’s diaper rash came back. But, we had no idea. So for an hour he cried intermittently while I tried cuddling, soothing, offering a bottle, soother and his hippo. Finally I thought about chaning his diaper. (He usually is dry all night). And, it was gross. And he had a really bad diaper rash. It was awful. I put the special cream on and thankfully he went back to sleep.

I did not.

I think I fell asleep at 4:30.

My alarm goes off at 5:21.

The good news is that Matt’s feeling way better.

The bad news is that I am one tired mommy. With good hair!!!

Green Beans anyone?

For reasons unknown to Mike and I, our child is in love with health food.
We try to be healthy in our house, but we do tend to enjoy the junk food. There's nothing Mike and I enjoy more than a night on the couch with chips and dip. (yum). I know we don't do this often anymore. But that's not by choice. It's because we were getting fat.
However, if you were to put, for instance, a potato and a brownie in front of either of us, the likely choice would be a brownie.
Like tonight. We made brownies yesterday and after dinner I pulled them out and gave one to each of us. Matt looked at the brownie (as Mike and I were filling our mouths) and decided to eat more potatoes followed by more corn.
we have tried buying Matt various kinds of cereal. We even bought Fruit loops cause we think they are yummy. He said no and asked for an apple.
And this weekend ... this was the clincher.
For 15 minutes Matthew kept walking around asking for green beans. I tried offering everything: cheese, apples, carrots, etc. Finally in frustration I said
"Matt we don't have green beans. Have some candy!!!"
Nice - I'm a great parent.
And then he went into our panty and pulled out a can of green bean. He looked up at me, gave me a huge smile and said
"Look, Mom, Green Beans!!!"
He was right.
What mother offers her child candy over vegetables. Me, I guess.

Bugs! - A Science Centre Adventure

So we went to the Science Centre today.
It's a good thing we are members because I was ready to kill someone today. It was Telus Family day. I'm sorry if anyone was there that is reading this - but all the Telus employees are idiots. Seriously.
We often go to the Science Centre on Sundays. It's usually nice and fairly quiet. At the KidSpark area Matt can run around, we wander, it's nice. Today it was crazy. We had to wait for an elevator and we didn't even bother with KidSpark because there was a huge Lineup. The people were rude. We got pushed when we were on the elevators. Even at the Sports Arcade (whch was unusually busy) people pushed, tried to get ahead. It was ridiculous.
Seriously. The people were such idiots that if I hadn't already cancelled my Telus phone I would go home and do so I was so annoyed.
So, to combat the crowds we decided to take Matt to Bugs! at the Imax Theatre. Someone suggested to me that Matt may be old enough for a movie. He did well for about half an hour. Then he got stir crazy and started to run up and down our row. No biggie cause it was relatively quiet, but when he started to climb the chairs we decided that it was time to go.
Honestly, the movie was boring. I mean, it was interesting, but by the time he lost interest so did I. Mike seemed a little more into it, but even he admitted that ti was a tad boring by the end.
So, all in all it was pretty good.
And, because we get a discount on the tickets it was a cheap movie.
I think next time we'll go to a good Disney movie and see how he does. Oh and candy would help, I think (the Imax doesn't allow it)

Sleepover!

Last night Mike went out with some friends, so Matthew and I had an evening to ourselves.
And, one of the highlights of putting Matt to bed on my own - and knowing Mike is coming home late is that I get to change up the bedroom routine.
Mike is pretty regimented when it comes to the bedtime routine.
It's always at a set time, we have a little routine and Matt is in bed by 8pm.
I'm fully supportive. The longer this routine has gone on the better the results have been. We have a child who actually goes to bed and we get a full night's sleep. I'm not complaining.
But last night was different.
Matt had expended all of his energy at McDonalds (and a totally cute aside, he was hanging out with an adorable group of five year olds who were amazing with him). We came home and watched an episode of Dora and then he was off to bed. I tucked him in and kissed him goodnight and then went to watch tv.
The only thing was, I was tired, my eyes were shutting, and I knew Matt was still awake.
So I went and asked if he would like to cuddle in mommy and daddy's bed.
"Oh yes!" he said, and went running. I set the ground rules.
He had to be quiet.
He was not allowed to play with his diaper (because he often ends up peeing all over his bed - and his mattress is plastic so no biggie - I didn't want to change sheets); and
This was a special treat!

I've gotta say, things went really well.
I'm not opposed to co-sleeping, but it doesn't work well for us on a regular basis. Matt is squirmy and Mike snores, so when I have them both in bed I don't sleep. Plus, it is too crowded. But, some nights a good cuddle is pretty fun. And, last night was just such a night.
To be honest, we didn't fall asleep right away. Matty wanted to hear stories, so I told him all sorts of stories about when I was a little girl.
Matt told me stories about daycare and even tried to teach me a song.
It was a good old fashioned sleepover. And I loved it!!!
I don't actually know what time Mike got home last night. But when I woke up this morning Matt was in his own bed, cuddling with his stuffed animals and really happy.

I know this won't happen a lot, but as life changes and Matty grows up, it's nice to relish just a few extra cuddles!

Matthew the Builder

It's Friday - and for some Friday fun some pics of my little construction worker.
And, oh the elephant costume. It a hit. Matt loves it. And, it's adorable on him albeit a little girly. But those pictures will not appear before Halloween!!!

Movin' On

Today we found out for sure that there's a spot in Matthew's old daycare.
There was some uncertainty because of the number of toddlers moving up to the preschool program. The problem that daycares encounter is that there always have to have a certain amount of children per teacher (or adult) in the classroom at all times. In this case they will either have to move one of the toddler teachers up to the preschool room or hire a new teacher.
It's not really our problem. But it kind of is because we need Matt to have a space. Which, as it turns out, he now does.
Thank God!
And, he's officially back at the old daycare as of the first Monday in December.
I've gotta say - I'm excited.
So, today I had to go into our current daycare and tell them that we are moving and Matthew will be leaving the daycare.
I was a little worried because I'm not good at this kind of stuff. I was a complete wreck when we left the old place. I cried when I told them, and on Matt's last day - well, I made my mom come with me because I didn't think I could handle saying goodbye.
But today I was totally totally fine.
In fact, I could hardly wipe the smile off my face. It was pathetic. The daycare supervisor was like "I can tell you are excited!" Ummm ... yeah.
The one sicky thing is that my favourite teacher at the old place is no longer there. I loved her, and she was the toddler teacher. But she went back to school. Part of me thinks this is good. I'm happy for her. And Matthew wouldn't be in her class anyway. So, that would be weird for him. I did like lots of the other teachers, so I'm still happy.
Plus, I love Cindy who runs the place. She's about my age and she's pretty cool. When we had initially switched Matt to a crappy daycare I called her in tears. She totally talked me through it, helped me make the decision to choose a different daycare and then had Matt and I come back for his birthday and threw him a party (there were streamers, toddlers saying happy birthday, etc - and of course I cried!!!)
So, I'm moving on. And ready to go back.
I'm now stressing - do I give them a goodbye gift? What do I do????
Help.
I'm thinking a big box of chocolate and a homemade card.

America's Next Top Model - the commentary

One of my friends, who wishes to remain anonymous, admitted to me that she is a big fan of America's Next Top Model.
So, we sit weekly and send e-mails to each other commenting on the show. (That's what blackberries are for, right?)
And, so, to make everyone's Thursday that much more exciting, I have pasted below our e-mail commentary. If you have taped the show - don't read this. We will spoil it for you.

----

Anchal vs. Melrose
--------------------------

Catfight! Catfight!
EVERYONE vs Melrose "the motor mouth" model

----- Original Message -----

They always encourage them to talk about themselves and each other, then they get slammed for it. So, weird!!! SHUT UP ANCHAL!!!

----
Subject: Must concentrate ...

Tyra is getting deep!!
--------------------------

Love AJ. Isn't that strange that Meg hasn't seen herself with a beard, I know I have....

--------------------------
Oh the drama
I love all y'all!!!
It is SO hard being beautiful
I looked at my stunning self in the mirror and sobbed - I'm just way too hot
--------------------------

They always encourage them to talk about themselves and each other, then they get slammed for it. So, weird!!! SHUT UP ANCHAL!!!

----------------------------------

Why does Melrose always act as if everyone is there to meet and see her?

----- Original Message -----

LOL!!!! You are killing me....and it's also very true. Who do you think is heading home?

----- Original Message -----

My money is on jaeda since melrose rocked the photo shoot Loving the twins Can't wait to see the pics My crush on mr.jay increases every week. He is so cute
--------------------------


Did you notice that even after makeup was removed meg still had a 5 o clock shadow?
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld


Its bye bye Anchal (I hope)
--------------------------


Bye Jaeda

----- Original Message -----

Fee fi fo fum thank god???
--------------------------

I second that motion.... I feel bad for Jaeda I think she's too forcused on her lack of hair

----- Original Message -----

Let's kick off the 17 editor
--------------------------


You never know it might be Anchal as her photo wasn't that good

----- Original Message -----

I think u r right but I still want ugly anchal to go!!!
--------------------------


----- Original Message -----

I think that the bottom two will be Jaeda and Meg


----------
Poor Meg

I want to be ???? for Hallowe'en

Matthew has been talking about Halloween for awhile now.
I like Halloween; in fact I plan to take a vacation day to spend halloween with my monkey like I did last year (the year before I was on mat leave).
And, we have of course started to talk about.
Thanks to daycare, his cousin and Mike and I Matt totally understands that Halloween is all about dressing up.
So the other day I said to him "what do you want to be for Halloween?"
He said "I want to be an elephant for Halloween."
I had planned to make him a cowboy, but I'm discovering that 2 year olds have their own opinions on stuff, and he most certainly does not want to be a cowboy.
Ok.
So every day I have asked him what he wants to be. And every day he has said "I want to be an elephant."
I have looked all over the place for an elephant costume. I have looked everywhere - with no avail.
But tonight I FOUND IT!!!
When I ran into the Superstore for a few groceries and some diapers I found a toddler's elephant costume. So excited.
I ran through the store, hopped in the car and said to Matt: "So ... what do you want to be for Halloween?"
His response:
"I want to be a Monkey!!!!"

Thansgiving Already ...

As I write this it's Saturday morning. Our dinner with my in-laws is tonight, and I volunteered to make dinner.
I love making Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner. I feel like the total domestic goddess that I am not most days of the year. I love the cooking and the baking and just gernally being in control of the kitchen.
Except ...
I left myself a little short this year.
This past week was - extremely busy. The good news is that there's lots for usto be grateful for after this past week. But, grateful or not, it left me little time to prepare.
So here we are at 8:30 on Saturday morning with a whole ton of stuff to do before dinner at 5 today.
We already made the pumpkin cheesecake. But it's a 45 minute recipe that has been baking for about an hour and 15 minutes. Matthew and I have, in the meantime, made 2 pumpkin pies - about ready to go in the oven and prepared the cranberries.
Once that stuff goes in the oven (who knew you could bake cranberry sauce? My mom taught me the stove top method) I will get the turkey going, make the stuffing, etc etc.
Thank goodness I thought to thaw the turkey!
Last year at Thanksgiving I also made dinner. Except Matthew was younger, and wasn't exactly that helpful. We were also living in a crappy apartment with a bad oven and very little counter space. The condo isn't huge - but there is a lot more counter space the oven works way better and we have a dishwasher. So, lots to be thankful for.


My turkey turned out beautifully - and bonus - I made delicious cranberry auce that my father in law couldn't get enough of - apparently this was the first time he ever enjoyed cranberry sauce


PS The pumpkin cheesecake was gross!!!

While I was cooking Matt decided to try on my glasses. I know it's really unsafe, but I had to take a picture. It was cute!!!

It's just a rash

Today, in the middle of a crazy day at work, I got a heart stopping phone call.
Matt's teacher called me to ask me to come pick up Matthew.
"Don't worry, Matthew's okay," were her first words. That was reassuring, until she added, "But you should come and pick him up because he's not well, he has a rash and asked me to call you."
I pretty much got up, walked across to my co-worker and told her I had to go.
Thankfully she said "Go. I can turn off your computer, just go."
I took a breath, went to tell my boss who had the same reaction, and left. I think I was out of there in about 4 minutes. En route to the bus I bumped into another work friend who managed to tell me that Matt was fine.
I made it all the way to the daycare without freaking out.
It turned out that the rash was actually a really bad diaper rash. I know diaper rash is normal in kids, but this was brutal. Kayla, his teacher, said he was hysterical whenever she had to change him. They actually had to bring in an extra staff member to help change him. It was not fun.
But, then he had some spots on his face too. They thought it may have been chicken pox.
So, Mike, who also left work early, and I took Matt to the doctor.
The diaper rash was bad. We got a prescription. He should be okay.
The chicken pox.
Well ... those would be mosquito bites. Yep. Mosquito bites.
You never know.

Mommy's a What ?!

Friday fun on the TTC.
We were on the 2nd leg of daily journey - the part where we cram on to the bus, hope for seats and pray that Matt behaves on the 20 minute bus ride.
We were doing well until the midway point. Since I'd forgotten a snack, I bought Matty a bag of chips which he ate happily much of the trip. He only talked to a few people. He was particularly friendly with the two guys behind us.
And then his nose started to run.
Good mommies keep little packs of kleenex in their purses. Mine is crammed with lipsticks, my book, my blackberry and my cell phone - there's usually no room.
So he wiped his nose on my jacket. Instead of just saying no, I decided to be funny and say "do you think Mommy is a Kleenex?"
Matt thought this was hilarious - probably because he misheard the word Kleenex. He heard Penis.
So, there, on the rush hour crowded he started yelling, yes yelling ...
"Mommy is a Penis! Mommy is a big strong Penis."
The more I blushed and asked him to stop the more he yelled, delighted in the fact that he had the entire back section of the bus laughing. I alternated between laughing and being horrified.
Parenting. So fun!

So much going on ... where to start?

It's been busy lately. You can probably tell from my lack of blogging activity. It's just been one of those weeks when you just don't seem to have the time ...

The big thing in Matt's life this week has been the transition to preschool. This is the first time he has transitioned to an older age group. I know that he changed daycares, but he's always been in a toddler room. So, it's pretty much the same. Preschool is a whole different ball game.

The big thing for him is that it is much more structured. My child is not terribly structured. Consistency is a good thing for him. He likes nap time at the same time, lunch and dinner at the same time, etc. But, being asked to sit in one place and all of that is kind of tough for him. So, the preschool teacher has noticied he's struggling to get into the routine of sitting still for circle time (it's longer than in the toddler room). I get that. And, I've seen him maturing and growing. So, I know he will adjust pretty quickly. But still.

And, in about 2 weeks he will start all out toilet training. They think he's ready for underwear (yay?) but because he's changing his routine they don't want to push it. Okay. But at the same time tonight we got him and I said it was time for a fresh diaper and Matt said "No Potty."

Sure. whatever. Works for me.

Another thing with this whole transition is what you do for the teachers. I bought cards. I know it's not the best thing. But, truthfullly we were going to get gifts, but these are women who are not easy to buy for. I'm debating buying them a box of chocolate, but I don't know. I just feel like I hardly know them anymore.

At the last daycare I agonized over the teacher gifts at Christmas and when we moved. But, his teachers were young and cool. And, they hadn't gotten all of the mugs and stuff. For the record, at Christmas I went a little overboard. I got nice gift certificates from the Gap, and then some teas and chocolate and stuff and put them in nice cellophane wrapped boxes. It was very Martha Stewart of me - and I am so not crafty. I even had Matt paint ornaments that had a place for his picture. It was impressive. When we moved, we were pretty upset. So, we had Matt paint a mug at the ceramics places (very cool if you've never done it). And we gave that to Christine. She cried. It was cute. But, she was young and hadn't gotten gifts like this before so it was meaningful.

Anyway, we're sticking with cards.

Bye Bye Toddler room. My big boy is moving on.

And, yay! His new teacher - so cool!

Cleanse ...

This weekend Mike and I decided to do a cleanse. The basic premise is that you drink a crappy drink (lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper) and cleanse your system. Beyonce did it and lost a ton of weight. So, I thought maybe it would work for Mike and I. Okay, really I thought it would work for me and dragged Mike along for moral support.
It sucked.
First of all - why spend a weekend cleansing? Why? Why not make your work week crappier and then enjoy the weekend. Hmmm....
Here's the thing. I keep going back to the same weight. And I hate that weight. I want to lose - and I'm stuck.
Yes, if I did the weightwatchers thing properly I would, but I lost incentive at the same time I had to lower my points and gained a little back.
I wanted to cleanse because I had a doctor's appointment today and I wanted to be at a very specific number.
The cleanse - it didn't work so well becasue we got hungry and ate salad (one a chicken caesar another a greek salad). And I don't think I drnak enough of the drink.
But still - it was a salad weekend.
And I GAINED A POUND!!!
Seriously.
Who gains weight when they cleanse? me!!!!
But I did have a doctor's appointment today (where, incidentally, I brought the wrong health card - oops) so among other things I asked her about this.
She laughed. Yep. Laughed.
Actually, first she told me that she was really proud of my weight loss. She told me to lose another 20 lbs and she will be happy. I am okay with that. I want to do that.
And, then she told me not to sweat it. This, she explained, is water weight. But, she also pointed out that my body may also be settling a bit, sticking at one weight but making adjustments. I think this is true because I feel like skirts and pants are fitting me better - even at the same weight. She said this may be from the exercise too. Who knows.
And speaking of exercise ...
Tonight our building had a fire alarm. It was pretty funny. Matt was soooo excited that he wanted to see the trucks. But, thanks to the lesson he learned from our neighbours he decided he should wear his fire hat. And then he took it to the next level and wanted to bring his fire truck.
So, off we went. Since we are on the 12th floor, and I wasn't sure if it actually was a fire (once there actually was a fire, so I am always cautious - not to mention I am a FIRE WARDEN at work) I insisted on the stairs. So, I had Matt in one arm and a ride on fire truck in the other arm, plus a plastic fire hat in my mouth and we ran down the stairs.
When we got downstairs Matt was thrilled. fzor some reason 3 fire trucks and the fire van showed up. Matt immediately went up to the firefighters (who by this time had determined it was a false alarm) and said "Hi firefighter man".
The firemen were so cute with him. They kept calling him chief and were having him show them the various different noises his truck made. Matt was totally in his element.
The funniest part was when the firefighters were in a little group talking. Matt wheeled right over and looked up at them, just like he was one of them.
It melted my heart.
Before we left the fire chief came up to me and said "That's one cute kid you've got there. Hang on to him."
I refrained from hugging the guy.
I just said thank you.
I refrained from mentioning that I am a fire warden (I've done the training people. I know about crossover floors and how to use a fire fighters phone).
Honestly, some days parenting is so rewarding.
And ... this is Matt's last week in the toddler room at daycare. I think he's spending half days in the preschool room. He talks about his new teacher constantly. I don't know who is more excited.

Buses, McDonald's and my Karate Skills

My comments on America’s Next Top Model are forthcoming – I promise. Because there was a ton of fun e-mailing back and forth throughout the show. But, my ANTM mindset has been somewhat put on the backburner. Because ...

The other day I got thinking about parenting. More precisely, someone challenged me on the topic of spending time with my child – what is important, how much time I spent, and what exactly constituted quality time.

Is it doing a child specific activity or is it just the actual time you spend together doing something, anything, together that really matters?

I didn’t quite have an answer. The question came from someone who, by circumstance, does not have an opportunity to spend as with their child as I do with mine. And it made me realize something – I need to start appreciating my time just a little more than I do.

Case in point – commuting.

I whine about it constantly. I whine on my blog. I whine to my husband. I whine to my friends. I whine to my family. Generally speaking, taking my toddler on the bus is not fun. Okay. I know you all get it.

But, I realized that it’s stuff like this that I should make fun or try to make fun.

Last night, since it’s been a busy week at work and Mike was working late, I decided to take Matty to McDonald’s. I told him that we were taking a special bus – the McDonald’s bus!

There was nothing special about this bus. Well, except my attitude; I decided that I would make commuting FUN. And, it was a blast! We looked out the window, we chatted, we discussed McDonald’s. And, surprise surprise the trip was enjoyable. In fact, I may even go so far as to say it was fun.

Shockingly, because it started off on the right foot, McDonald’s was fun too. Matthew listened to me. He waited in line with me when I ordered, he sat and ate his dinner and then when he was done he asked me if it was time to play. I was impressed. At the end of playtime, while still waiting for Daddy to pick us up, I asked Matt if he wanted ice cream.

Of course he said yes.

And, despite the fact that it was a kind of chilly evening we sat outside on the McDonald’s patio and had strawberry sundaes. The whole time we talked, and laughed and giggled and had fun. And I realized that part of it was because I was making the effort – not to be super mom. But, to just enjoy myself. Which I did.

So …

When we got home we were still in good moods. Mike wanted to walk down to see the Teluscape at the Science Centre. Which we did. It’s not quite ready yet, but it was a fun adventure.

And then it was bedtime. I don’t know what got into me, but Matt brought me an empty paper towel roll.

Perhaps it was the ice cream, or the fun of the evening. But, I decided to demonstrate my karate skills! (wait, have I taken karate. Nope. I did take Wen-Do where you learn to break a board, as well as numerous self defense/aerobics classes).

So, I made Mike hold the paper towel role while I yelled “Hi-YAH!” and broke the role. I know – impressive.

Matthew thought this was the most hilarious thing in the world. So, we spent the next 20 minutes laughing and screaming “Hi-Yah” while trying to break things. Eventually we discovered that karate chopping diapers was great fun.

Truthfully, I don’t know who enjoyed it more – me or Matt. At one point we were both on the floor giggling. It was pretty funny!

And at the end of the evening I figured out the answer to the question. It's not the activity you do with your child that is important - it's the quality of it.

A Break from the Mommy Posts because ...

Tonight is the first episode of my favourite reality show ... America's Next Top Model!!!
Some people think I'm crazy. I know it's a trashy show. In fact, I don't even like Tyra Banks. Really, I don't.
But, I love the show.
I don't know why. I just get so into it.
I love the cat fights and the anxiety. And I always end up cheering for one person to win. For instance, in the one where Nicole one - I picked her from the beginning. Seriously. But, last time I was not happy with the winner. Whatever.
It starts again tonight. Yippee!
----

And, in new from last night's Parent advisory committee. It was interesting. And weird. And fun in a way.
I think the goal of the committee is to have music classes for the kids and also yoga classes for the kids. I think Matt would LOVE the yoga. It means lots of fundraising. But, that's fine.
I also had a really nice chat with some people. His preschool teacher was there and I think she's amazing. She's fun and relaxed and we talked for awhile. I can't wait till I get to do pick ups in her room.
And then this other mom stopped me to tell me how much she loves Matt. She said that she was really nervous about putting her son in daycare, but that Matt was the first child who has ever just approached her son and played with him. This little boy's older sister is autistic, and so obviously the playing dynamic between her kids is a little unusual. So, this was a pretty big deal that he was welcomed into the class.

Is it possible that I am being considered as a good mom??
Is it?
Well,yes. Wanna know why? I've been officially asked to be on my son's daycare's parent advisory council.
Okay, I know that to some people this isn't the biggest deal in the world. I know that there will be many PTA's I can join, many Parent-teacher interviews to attend and manky school trips I can chaperone. But, for now, I am relishing in this.
I don't exactly know what this involves. Nor do I really know what I have committed to. I do know that lately I'm feeling a lot more confident in my parenting skills. Like, at drop off and pick up I've been chatting to parents. And, sometimes I'm asked for advice - things like how do I get Matt to cooperate at drop off and how am I encouraging his speech.
Huh?
A couple years ago people were acting like I was crazy because I didn't own all of the baby einstein dvd's.
And now this - the request to be on parent council.
I know one of my friends is on her parent council. But, this is Ginny. And, she's super mom. She can talk about all the parenting books. She's the person I ask when I don't know what something means. She's the person I will call when I need to know what the best toy on the market is.
So, this is a big deal to me.
And, I'm looking forward to it.
Tomorrow night I shall advise away.

And in other Matty news ...
Today was a pretty big day. First Matt used the daycare potty twice. He's started telling us when he needs to pee - and announcing when he's going to poop.
He also went to visit the preschool room for the afternoon. He loves his teacher Kayla. Actually, so do I. She's really friendly, and not as crazy as his current teacher. When I went to his classroom to pick him up today I looked around and realized that the new toddlers (18 months) just looked like babies compared to my preschool boy. And, the best part is, I'm happy about all of this.
I'm not mourning his growing up. I'm realizing that every day I fall more in love with this kid.

My Friend the Comedienne!

Last night Mike and I went to Seconnd City. It was a pretty big deal for us on several levels.
The first was that it was a night out. Matthew had a sleepover with his cousin (and yes, they did sleep). The second was that we'd never been to Second City (I know) and the third was that my friend Stef was on the Second City Mainstage. Even as someone who had never been before I knew this was a big deal. So we went.
I am so proud.
Let me tell you about Stef.
I've known her for about 5 years. I met her when I was working at a film company. She was a temp receptionist and I was an admin assistant. The very first thing I remember about her is that she brought this ridiculous fish lunch bag and walked in still wearing a bike helmet over her curly red hair.
I was kind of intrigued and kind of frightened.
Within a day I realized that she is one of the most amazing people I will ever meet.
Stef is an actor and a singer. And she's incredible.
And, despite the frustrations of being a struggling actor in Toronto she hasn't given up. She goes to auditions all the time. Sometimes she lands stuff, often she doesn't. But, the point is that she is working and trying and most of all acting.
And, last night was a pretty big deal - since her comedy troupe was at Second City.
And ... they were good. In fact - they were amazing!
Truthfully, the reason I haven't been to Second city before is because I don't really enjoy comedy. Most of the time I don't get it, and I really hate people who say funny things they know are funny in order to make people laugh.
I'm more of a person who is impressed by off the cuff funny. You know, like sometimes people just say things that are so hilarious you laugh all of the time. I digress here. My point is that, despite my feelings on comedy I LOVED THIS.
Because it was good.
In fact it was amazing. Stef even sang a song about terrorists. Seriously.
And, at the end of it all I am one proud friend.
Why? Because after forever she's still doing what she loves, and no matter the set backs, she keeps trying. And getting places and doing amazingly well. And, I'm so proud to say she's my friend. (did you know she was in Mean Girls too? She was - with Lo Lo - and when we go shopping people always recognize her - also very cool.)
But, aside from all of this, the thing that keeps me hanging out with her is that she's also an amazing person and friend.
She once told me that in life you have a friends pyramid. There are the ones at the top that are the most important and then the wealth is spread down. And, she said to me "you know you're at the top of my pyramid."
Is it true? I don't know. But I feel that way - as do all of her friends.
Because she cares. Despite the fact that she's the busiest person I know (really, I almost have to call her agent if I want to meet for lunch - and yes, she really does have 2 agents and I know all about them!) she always makes the time to know about the silly details of my life.
She's one of the only friends who is allowed to join me when I go to see my hairstylist, Bill (he loves her) because she gets the Bill experience. Yes, of course I must wear my best outfit, yes you must tell me that I look thin and rich before I go in, yes I will discuss every detail of everything he said to me.
She also just seems to get things. When I had Matt and just was fat and ugly for months she bought me clothes that flattered me. She always makes me feel like the fact that I'm a mom is the cooles thing ever. And, when you're 25 when you have a baby, not too many of your friends say that.
And, at the end of the day she makes me laugh. When we were working at a crappy admin job we got nicknamed Lucy and Ethel after flooding our office because we put dish soap in the dishwasher. If I'm pissed off at someone (we worked with a crazy accountant) she can get me giggling. I think all of this comedy and improv is perfect. Because she will rock it.
Like she rocks everything else.
I think she knows how much I think of her, but now you guys do too.Yes - we are wearing matching sweaters. We thought it was cool that was had the same item of clothing (different cut, same old Navy sales rack) so we decided to go out in matching outfits. We ordered the infamous Fat Plate at Pickle Barrel - also known as their appetizer sampler.

Hello to the Peeps!

The other day I got an instant message from Mike. He was very excited to tell me about someone who read my blog.
I tried guessing to no avail.
And finally he told me. His ex-girlfriend from highschool reads my blog - on a regular basis (Hi Melissa!)
First of all, yes, I'm totally okay with the fact that he is friends with her. We're talking high school romance, and I'm friends with a highschool boyfriend. This is not my point.
My point is, this is pretty cool.
I write my blog because I like to write. I really do. It's an outlet for me and it's a space for me to write about what is going on in my life. Motherhood has been a pretty frightening journey for me, and one that I'm only beginning to navigate. Combine that with the drama that is my every day life and I'm one explosively emotional being!
And it's super cool to know that people actually are reading about my life - and care.
The comments I love. I love them especially when the comments are from people I don't know outside of the "blogosphere". I can't even tell you how incredibly important and special and, well, let's be honest COOL I felt when one of my favourite writers (and bloggers) first commented on my blog. I think I told everyone I knew - and some people I barely knew were told to check out the comments because I was so excited.
And, it's also pretty neat to know friends are reading. I know this sounds corny and cheesy and everything else, but when someone tells me that they read something on my blog it's important to me. Or when they take the time to mention something I've said, or comment on something that has upset me or pissed me off or just generally got me thinking (i.e. whether I want another baby) it's appreciated. Because, honestly, at the end of the day sometimes it's easier to write out what you are thinking than to hunt down a friend to listen.
So to all of you out there - this is a great big thank you and a great big hug. Thanks for keeping me going, keeping me smiling and caring about my little corner of the universe.
And one more thing .... comment comment comment. Please!

Wide Awake

I don't know what it is about fall, but lately my sleep is totally off. Take today for instance. In the back of my mind I knew I had to get up early. I promised one of my colleagues I would help her set up for an event, which means being downtown for 7am. No biggie, usually. I set my alarm a few minutes early and went to bed.
The only problem was that at 3:30 I was wide awake and raring to go. I finally got out of bed at 4. It's ridiculous. I decided to tweeze my eyebrows because what else do you do at 4am? I also had an extra cup of coffee and watched all of the different news programs.
Who knew how much news is on before 5:30.
Interesting.
And, on the topic of being awake so early it makes me wonder what exactly consists of late and early. For instance, the early early show that I was watching ran from 4-5. But, what time does the late late show end? It's completely possible that people, friends even, were going to bed when I was waking up.
Hmmm ...
Okay - well, it's now almost 6 and I need to get ready. Because despite my early start I'm still not dressed and ready to go.
Oh - and on a completely different topic.
I GOT NEW JEANS!
I'm very excited about this. I've been a little obsessed about jeans lately. It seems that everywhere everyone keeps talking about skinny jeans. Trust me - they look awful on me. But, still needed new jeans.
So, we were at the mall last night and I went to the Gap. I found the coolest jeans. They are kind of low rise, but not too low rise. And, the waistband is embellished with studs (sounds tacky, but it's not). Anyway, I was looking for my size and they didn't have it. So, I thought that I'd get the size down and try them on. I figured that if they weren't too horribly tight I would buy them to shrink into.
Except, wonder of wonders, they fit. Perfectly.
They could have been the ugliest jeans ever, and I think I would have bought them because they fit me and I liked the size. And, I ran down the aisle of the fitting room and showed Mike who kind of knew there was no saying no to these jeans.
Is it possible to be in LOVE with jeans??? Cause I am. I debated saying screw the dress code at work and wearing them today, but really, no. Not such a good idea. But, I'm so wearing them on friday. Because we can wear jeans on Friday (ha ha my legal department friends who cannot wear jeans. Ha ha I say). And we are going to Second City in the evening and I can also wear jeans there. I think.
So excited.

Mommy cracked

I knew one day this would happen.
I finally cracked!
Okay, well maybe not exactly, but ...
Yesterday was a weird day. We didn't quite knw if it was rainy or sunny so we didn't quite know what to do with the day. We checked out the Cabbageton festival which was fun. And then we decided to go to McDonald's for lunch because Mike wanted a big mac and Matt wanted to go to a playground. Since it looked like rain we thought the indoor playground would be perfect.
Apparently so did 5 million other parents.
We had lunch and then Matt went to play. (I went with him).
He's only 2 - and the age range is 3-10. But, I figure he is fine because he's a pretty aggressive toddler and he can hold his own with 3 and 4 year olds.
Things were okay at first, but then some of the older kids got a little aggressive. Matty still held his own, climbing through the tunnels. Though I wanted to leave Mike said no, he was fine, let him play. And I did. For several minutes.
But, I started stressing when one of the kids (I'd say he was like 8 maybe) started to climb the play structure from the outside. I kind of wondered where his parents were. This is a pretty restrained McDonald's, and usually the parents are all over their kids.
Apparently this wasn't the case with destructo child.
All the kids were kind of avoiding him.
And then he found Matt who was climbing into the tunnel.
Matt wanted to take his time, this kid wanted to get in the tunnel.
Matt said no.
The kid tried to push him.
Matt pushed back - Hard - and knocked the kid over a bit.
So the kid says "move".
Matt said no and sat down.
So the kid stepped on his foot and when Matt started to cry he pushed him and went up the slide.
All this happened while I was en route from my seat to the base of the climbing structure. I freaked out, said "hey" grabbed Matt and left the room.
Truthfully, I almost lost it. Which is why I left (thank God Mike grabbed Matt's shoes and jacket). I was almost the mommy who freaked out and shouted at someone else's child. I mean he was pushing a little kid. seriously.
Mike thought it was kind of funny because I did turn into crazy mom there for a minute. And, I did carry my screaming toddler through McDonald's. It was a bit of a scene.
Oh well. Funny. At least I didn't scream at the other kid.
And, as Mike pointed out, thank goodness Matt can hold his own.

Back on the Wagon

So of course this week was Labour day, and with it came a sort of resolution.
I was reading something about how a lot of people actually make second resultions on Labour day. Like on New Year's except in the fall. I rarely make New Year's resolutions, and when I do I never keep them, so kind of dumb to find a second time in the year for me to make a resolution that I know I won't keep.
But, this feeling of fall, new beginnings, and reading about skinny jeans did get me back on the bandwagon when it came to my weight.
For the past month I've been avoiding all of my weight watchers stuff. I wasn't sticking to my weekly weigh ins, I wasn't journaling, I wasn't really even counting points. So, basically I was off track. I was still trying in the sense that I wasn't really gaining weight, I wasn't over eating, etc. In other words I was at a standstill.
But, I got back on track.
On Labour Day (after a week of trying) I weighed myself and guess what?! I finally hit 25 pounds. It's cool, but also a little sad since in July I was at 23.5 pounds. But, I guess for me it was that thing that pushed me towards realizing that I could soon hit 30 pounds. And after 30 pounds what's another 20 - y'know. And, so I started again.
Mid week my friend pointed out that if I really work I could hit my goal weight at Christmas. She's right. What a great Christmas gift to myself not to mention all the lovely Christmas gifts others could give me.
And then I weighed myself again today (I know it should be weekly, but I did go Monday to Saturday, so whatever) and again the WW magic is working because I'm dropping pounds. And with those pounds is coming confidence. Again. Finally.
I've promised myself that when I hit a certain magic number (45 pounds) I will by the Lululemon pants I really want.
When I hit 30 pounds (which I am close to) I get to see my beloved Bill the hairstylist. Hmmm ... I think I should book an appointment.
And, oh yeah, I'm down to the next level of points. This kind of sucks because it means I get to eat less calories in the day. But then it's also good becasue it means that I am losing weight. And how great is that???????
So, today I'm just being proud of myself. Because liking myself is always a good thing.

The Monsters ...

Matthew is afraid of monsters.
I don't know why. His fear seemed to come out of nowhere. Okay, so we did let him watch Monsters Inc., but really he was already afraid of monsters when we let him watch it, and we sort of figured that it would show him not to be afraid of monsters.
Apparently that didn't work because the kid is terrified.
Yesterday, for instance, we were watching the Simpsons. I know - maybe not the best show for a toddler, but we were tired and I couldn't watch Dora again. (God help me when Mike starts quoting lines from Dora and we both laugh).
And, it was a good one. Except right in the middle of the show they make a commercial with a monster climbing in an old woman's window.
Matthew started screaming and clinging to me "Ahhhh!!! Mommy. Monster!"
Oops.
And, given that it was not a kids show, and the purpose of the show was not to show that Monsters really are nice not mean, we kind of just had to go back to Dora and try not to dwell on that monster.
He didn't mention it again. He went to bed, all was fine. Till about 3:30 am when he ran down that hall shrieking "momma momma - monsters."
Oh dear.
Half an hour later he was back asleep, cuddled up with me (and later peeing on me - thanks Matt!).
Poor thing.

Baby # 2 ... hmmmm

NO. I'm not pregnant. There is no baby #2. You can breathe again!
But, it seems that since my child has hit the magical age of 2 everyone thinks that a second child is imminent. It started with my doctor who happens to be Matthew's doctor too.
"Now that your son is two ... have you started thinking about another?" Nope.
Then it just snowballed. We had an open house for his 2nd birthday and I sware people were looking to see if I had a bump. Nope.
The questions keep coming - parents in the park, people I work with, somewhat random strangers on the street and friends of friends and distant relatives.
For the record, I don't think that a mandatory age difference is 2 years. It's nice, I agree, but so is 3 years or 5 years.

But then today Mike and I were out at a mall shopping while Matty spent some time with his grandparents. We were on a mission to find fall clothes for Matt. We were in Walmart and ended up in the baby department. And Mike turned to me and said
"I hope our next one is a girl"
WHAT?????
What next one? Trust me - I am 100% sure I am not pregnant, and we are not trying to get pregnant. So the comment was pretty random.
So I calmly said "are you trying to tell me you're ready for another one?"
Yep. It turned out he was. It turns out he's been ready for awhile and just didn't tell me. Good call on that. Since I am nowhere near ready to even think about another one.
And it shocked me that Mike is.

So, herewith all the reasons that I am not ready for another.
1) I am finally beginning to get comfortable with my body after 3 long years. Today I weighed myself and I hit that magical 25 pound mark. I have a ways to go. But, I'm seeing the results and I'm liking them. And I want to lose more and like myself again before I have another baby.
2) I love the stage Matthew is at. We chat. We talk. He communicates. He sleeps through the night. He walks and doens't need a stroller all the time. When I am sad he actually tries to comfort me. It's taken 2 years and 3 months (plus 10 months of pregnancy) to get to this stage. I don't really want to start over.
3) Pregnancy. Yuck.
4) Labour. Ouch.
5) Post Partum Depression. Terrified.
6) I would be giving up the last 2 years of my twenties. The way I see it, I got pregnant 5 years before I was planning to. I wasn't quite ready to give up eveyrthing I did. I don't regret it, but I also know that I want to finish my twenties before I get pregnant again.
7) I want to give another child the same love and attention I gave to Matt and at this point I can't. At least I don't think I can.
8) I don't want to live in Toronto in a small condo with 2 kids. I don't want to take 2 kids home from daycare everyday on the TTC. One almost kills me somedays. I think If I attempted to put a double stroller on the Eglinton bus at rush hours someone really would kill me. Ditto for a regular stroller and a hyper toddler.
9) I'm already tired enough. Thinking about working, then picking Matt up at daycare and taking him home on the bus while pregnant - I may kill myself.
10) We don't have enough money. There is no way we can afford to have 2 kids in daycare right now. Nor can we afford all of the other stuff that comes along with 2 kids - clothes, shoes, diapers, food, formula.

I know I know. That list sounds really selfish. It is, in fact, really selfish. But I think in a decision like this you have to be a little selfish, because if you aren't than you will make all the wrong decisions, right?

I dunno. Feel free to comment - I'd love to hear what others think.
PS why is there a random pic of me here? I dunno. Just cause - really because Mike and I agreed it's a nice picture and I hate pictures of me :)