Saturday, November 11, 2006
It seems like in motherhood, or parenthood for that matter, there are some really hard days. The ones that take it out of you, that make you question if you were really cut out for this journey, if you will have the strength to make it through to bedtime (if it happens) without a stiff drink and a few tears.
I have those days a lot.
But days like today make up for all of those.
There was nothing particularly special about today. We didn't have anything planned. There was no major even going on, we had no plans to go anywhere. Nothing.
We just let the day happen.
And today was amazing.
I wish I could explain it in detail, dissect why today seemed like a special day, what I did differently, how today worked. But I can't. And maybe that's the magic about it.
Today just worked. We had fun. We painted, we glittered glued, we watched a movie as a family. We did a little shopping and a lot of playing. We had a whole lot of fun.
One of my most prized possessions is a necklace that Mike bought for me. It says on it "Just Be". I wear it all the time, because it reminds me, whenever I have it on, of that phrase - just be. It means different things on different days. Sometimes it reminds me that the best person I can be is myself - not some version of me that is louder or quieter or prettier or smarter.
And, sometimes, like today, it reminds me to just let things be. Don't push everything to be perfect. Who cares if the laundry is done, if my house is spotless or if my hair is shiny. Just be - and let life go on.
And, you know what? Today I did just that and the day worked.
Sure I am still worried about a ton of stuff - our upcoming move, our finances, Christmas, etc.
But today I let it go. And I relaxed. And enjoyed.
And today ... was perfect!