Saturday, July 01, 2006

That's Princess Laural


Today was my niece Kyla's 4th birthday.
She is our Canada Day Baby!
And I had a starring role at her birthday Party as Princess Laural. It was so much fun.
Kyla hosted a princess party at the Jack Astors by her house. And, since I love her, I love all things girly and I don't have a daughter, I agreed to dress up like a princess and join them for the party.
It was pretty cute. All of the little girls came dressed as princesses. Then they all got into wagons and were pulled up to the restaurant where they were greeted by Princess Laural.
Since Kyla didn't know I was coming, she was pretty excited when I was there all dressed up. At first the other little girls didn't quite know what to make of me. But, they came around.
My favourite, I must admit, was this one little girl Esther who totally believed that I was a Princess. And, she actually kept calling me Princess Laural. Too cute.
I realized today that so many memories are tied to July 1st.
Four years ago I sat in the hospital lobby just waiting for her to be born. We were the first visitors (probably becuase I wouldn't leave till they let me in) and I held her before she'd ever been weighed.
Three years ago we were celebrating her first birthday and unbenownst to me, I was pregnant. (No wonder I was so emotional)
Two years ago she was 2 and just beginning to talk. I was in the throes of post partum depression and really wishing and hoping that this baby who still seemed so foreign to me would be as sweet and wonderful as my two year old niece.
Last year Kyla's birthday party was the day before I went back to work. I sat down with one of Becky's closest friends and tried not to cry as I told her that I was terrified about starting a new job. I just tried to get through the party without crying. I can't remember if I was successful.
This year is the princess year. Memories yet to be made. What will I remember about today? I will remember Kyla giving me a big hug at the restaurant and saying thank for making her birthday special - without any prompting from her mom. I will remember watching my son play with his cousin (after the party) thinking about how he is turning into a wonderful kid and knowing that I can be grateful that I got that wish I made on Kyla's second birthday.
And, I'm pretty excited that the fears I had last year about going to work and putting Matt in daycare were just fears. Because as far as I am concerned all of the work stuff is going just fine. And daycare is good (despite the biting)
So, happy birthday Kyla!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - My favourite Matty Words

  1. I’m two – especially funny when he uses this as an excuse for bad behaviour
  2. Michael – in place of the word Daddy. He loves to do this when he is trying to prove a point. As in “No – Michael – No stroller”
  3. Momo – this is what he has nicknamed our cat. Her real name is Mojo, which he can say, but much prefers his version
  4. Skinamarinkidinkidink I WUV you- This one is adorable – he doesn’t quite get the concept of just a simple ‘I love you’ but loves the long version.
  5. Matthew do it – though not so cute when Mommy is in a rush to get to work on time and he is referring to putting on socks
  6. Go Home Depot – apparently his favourite store. I don’t know why. I think it’s Mike’s influence.
  7. Pretty Paige – another nickname – this one for my niece Paige. When she was born he saw her once and then started calling her Pretty Paige. I know – how cute. She is pretty.
  8. Won-wa-wand – I think Wonderland is a tough word for toddlers. When we were en route to Wonderland it was hilarious to hear him and his older cousin Kyla discussing the correct pronunciation of the word. Kyla, who is almost 4 said “No Matty – no WaWaLand – Wonwawand” so then Matt would rehearse it until he had it up to her standard. I wish I had a video camera for that.
  9. Camoose – Thomas has a camoose” – this means caboose. A booster seat is a mooster seat, you get the picture.
  10. Fix the Wheel – Matt is obsessed with cars, trucks, buses, etc. and he has a Richard Scarry Book where there is a page with someone fixing a wheel. He now insists on fixing every wheel he sees.
  11. Parking garage
  12. Elevator (elligator) and Escalator (Eccalator)
  13. See you later, alligator - Matt’s personal favourite

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

How Many???

Today I got a phone call from my daycare.
I always have a moment of stress when I see the number flash up. Thankfully it was no big deal. Matt's teacher was calling to let me know that they need more diapers.
How many diapers does a child go through in a day?
By our count Matt goes through an average of 6 diapers per day at daycare. I know - a lot. He also sits on the potty there. This is on average about a bag of diapers per week.
At home he has at least one diaper in the morning and one diaper in the evening and then one diaper overnight (assuming that he does not need a change or decide to take his diaper off to show us his new diaper removal skill).
So, that is about 10 diapers per day for one two year old boy.
And then we get into the clothing changes. At daycare he rarely comes home in the same outfit he went in. I don't know why. His teachers like him to be clean - and so they usually change his outfit at least once a day if not more.
Mind Boggling.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Am a C, a D or a G - we will never know

Will a bra revolutionize my life?
Hmmmm ...
This question has come up over and over again. Of course I heard the story on Oprah. A friend of mine went right out and got a bra fitting and got a couple of nice new bras.
And then one night when I was out with some of my colleagues the conversation about bra fittings came up. It turns out that there is a wonderful store on the Danforth that fits you properly. I was told I must go to Sophia's for the perfect bra - pronto.
I did set a date with someone to go, but realized (thanks to my thrifty husband) that it would be a little bit ridiculous to spend close to $100 on an undergarment when I am trying to lose weight. So I held off.
And then said shafted colleague sent me the following link today:
(http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1208335,00.html?cnn=yes).
And the question that came to my mind was - will a bra really make a difference in my life.
I doubt that it would take 20 years off my age. I am not even sure if it would make me look that much slimmer. But, I really am quite intrigued. Can a well fitting bra make life easier?
I asked my friend (who will remain unnamed) whether her expensive bras changed her life. Her response wasn't quite up to Oprah's enthusiastic response, but she really was quite positive. It turns out that her clothes fit better, she looks better and she knows what size to buy.
Others have told me that they have more self confidence and even have less pain.
And, yet I resist.
I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps I feel I am perky enough. Perhaps I feel like my clothes are fitting me just fine. But, I think that realistically, I just don't want to know my size.
I have heard of people going into the bra store thinking they are a 34c and leaving a 32G!!!! That is a lot of baggage.
What comes after G? What is considered too large? What is the ideal band size? Apparently it doesn't matter, but let's be honest. I think I would have a complete meltdown in the middle of Sophia's if I was told I was a G (or worse). And, for that matter, what is worse? What letters to bras go to? Why can you buy a DD if there are E's and F's and G's? I don't get it.
And I am afraid. Very afraid.
But, if I were to spend the big bucks on a bra I think this is what I would go for:
http://www.freshpair.com/Le-Mystere-Dream-Tisha-Underwire-Bra-9955.html

PS I will be going back to mommy blogging, but this week there have been many non-mommy things going around in my head.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Introspective

Maybe I'm feeling a tad introspective today, but there's so much rolling around in my head today that I'm taking a break from my typical diary like blog entry to amuse myself and my thoughts.

This weekend I had a bit of a break. Saturday the boys went to Peterborough while I spent a completely selfish day of self-indulgence. I did some movie watching, some cleaning, some hair highlighting, went for a walk and ate a dinner I loved.

And it made me think a little about this life I have right now. In a sense I'm somewhat conflicted. Is it okay to like life and to hate life and be stuck in the middle? Becuase I think that is where I am. On the one hand I LOVE some aspects of my life. I have what I always wanted. I have a home and a family. I have a car and a cat and I have some really good friends. And, we are starting to sort through a bunch of the stuff we faced when we were a little younger.

And, then I start to wonder - where is the drama? Where is the passion? Where is the excitement that makes me look forward to getting up in the morning, or more accurately that makes me so drained in the morning because I can't sleep at night? Where did it go and why did it go? And, do I really want it back? I think I look back on the drama of university and of early marriage and think of it in a positive excited way and I forget that with the drama came tears.

And work also plays into this picture. I'm always reading about getting ahead. Taking that next step in your career. But, I often wonder, is it okay to be happy where I am? I cut a little top 10 list out of Glamour a couple of years ago, and it was called the Top 10 things that are okay to be happy about. In them were that it is okay to be happy about your job whether or not you are the CEO of a company or not. And, lately I've realized that I actually do quite enjoy coming to work. I like that I have friends here and that we do some fun corporate events. I enjoy knowing I have a pension (albeit small since I've been only paying into it for a year) and I even enjoy the pretty constant hours every day.Does it mean I'll be here till retirement? I dunno. I doubt it. That's like 38 years away, and who knows where I'll be in 38 years? But, for now, I'm content. Is there drama? Not really. I mean there is some, but not excessive drama like in previous jobs. And I am grateful that my job description now does not include screaming at warehouse people who shipped the wrong shoes. Trust me - I'll take our mailroom (without the frigid lack of heat and air conditioning that the shoe warehouse lacked) anyday.

But, what does contentment breed? Does it breed laziness? Or am I constantly looking for something new. Is it okay to search for excitement still? I think it is okay to be a mom but still want to develop myself fully as a person. I think it's just fine to say that I devote myself to motherhood but that I still want to lose some weight and dye my hair and do my nails. In fact, I think that maybe this lack of contentment with myself in fact makes me better. And I think it all ties into one.

I don't know. BUt I'm thinking through all of these. Bring on the Drama, Mama! I'm waiting.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The great bathing suit hunt

Edit to the post below: I FOUND a bathing suit. I really did try on a total of 33 bathing suits to find it. My mom directed to me to, of all places, Sears. I literally took in every single bathing suit in my size that was decent (i.e. not a bikini - and side note I'm all for bikinis if you can pull it off which I can't). The last one I had pulled off the rack was this cute black and white 2 piece but the bottom is actually a skirt. It fits and is flattering enough. Mike said I should post the picture of me in it on my blog. Ummm - no. Well, maybe if he wears his Speedo for the camera - LOL - there are no speedos allowed in my house.

Today I started my hunt for the great bathing suit.
There was a lot of criteria on my mental list including: 1) full coverage of tummy 2)comfortable 3) not a flowery "mum" suit - and by this I do not mean my mom hence the spelling difference and 4) and most important proper boob support.
I think today I tried on 17 bathing suits. I tried on both one and two piece bathing suits.
I went in knowing that I have lost almost 20 pounds since May and I keep reminding myself that it would be way worse if I had that weight still on and also that I would probably not like my bathing suit clad image.
And, let's be honest. My self esteem is not that horrible. I mean I'm not about to send in my picture to Tyra at America's Next Top Model, but I also have a bit of a feeling that you have to take me as I am and that like it or not I am and probably always will be a little bit chubby.
So, having said that, I am beginning to think that bathing suit manufacturers are setting us up for diapppointment.
There are some great bathing suits out there - as long as you are a size 6 or less.
For instance, I say the cutest whit bathing suit with an underwire bra that would keep everything in place. The problem - the cup size really only goes up to a B. I have never been a B. well, maybe when I was 12.
But, not in the last like 15 years. Even when I was skinnier never a B.
And I kept finding this. Tiny bathing suits have underwire, larger bathing suits (like size 8 and up which is hardly "large") do not.
So, I hunted and tried things on. I tried different sizes and colours. My downfall, literally, was in the cleavage department. I just need some wire.
There were also several other problems I discovered. For instance, there are code words you want to avoid. "tummy tamer" means excess fabric and a large print. "Bust enhancer" means ruffles or lace. "Body Shaper" means relaly unattractive.
And then I thought I found what may be a great bathing suit. It was a lime green colour and it seemed kind of supportive. I was kind of admiring myself when I noticed one large downfall - IT WAS SEE THROUGH!!
I actually started to giggle at the hilarity of it. I mean - I would be on vacation chasing after my toddler and be basically naked. I may even take the attention away from the woman who inevitably sits in the beach chair at the resort with the thong bathing suit. (and I don't mean a pretty model. I mean the woman who you really wonder "what was she thinking - she's going to get hemorrhoids!)
And so back went the lime green bathing suit.
I now continue on the hunt for the perfect bathing suit.
Will I find it?
I dunno.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My Ballerina

Kyla with her jumbo flowers after her recital
Last night was my first ever ballet recital.
To clarify, it was my niece Kyla's ballet recital and I had the opportunity to go as the doting aunt. I left my boys at home and went off to Hamilton Place to watch my niece in her first show.
Truthfully, I had no idea what to expect. I hav enever taken a ballet class. It's not because my parents weren't willing to let me try. It's just that it was never even discussed in our house. I was not exactly the most graceful child, and I never had any sort of interest in donning a pink tutu and leotard, unlike my niece who at age 2 announced to us that she wanted to be a ballerina.
So, when the big night of the ballet recital came, I was pretty darn excited (and a little worried that I wouldn't make it there in time).
Thankfully I thought to call one of my colleagues, whose teenager is a fairly accomplished dancer, and asked him the etiquette of ballet recitals. What does one wear, what does one bring, what can I expect? And, he was more than happy to fill me in and send me some pictures of his daughter.

Kyla and her mom, my sister Becky

The grand decision was to bring a bunch of pink flowers to the recital and spoil her like crazy. Which I did. I called a florist and explained that I needed a nice bouquet of pretty pink flowers for my neice's first ballet recital.
So, back to the evening.
I finally found my family when I arrived just before the doors opened. Of course they were in the front of the line (thank goodness for our obsessive family organization and timeliness). We sat right at the front.
I was really really impressed by the show. There was never a dull moment - it was that organized. And, it was arranged so they had a more senior group or single dancer followed by little ones. That way the spotlight was shared by all, and it kept moving.
And, it was amazing to me how good some of these kids were.
But the highlight was of course when Kyla took the stage.
Kyla is almost 4 and honestly the cutest little girl in the world. (she shares this honour with my other niece Paige who currently holds the title of cutest baby in the world).
Kyla and Aunt Laural

She was in a Hawaiian outfit complete with grass skirt. She went on with her class. They were just the cutest things ever. Their class is "baby ballet". They stayed together and did a few spins and such and then this little hip wiggle move. ADORABLE.
And then a couple of them fell. Kyla went down and then they helped each other up and kept going.
I have never been prouder.
She really was a star.
When it was all over I explained that the flowers were for her. I think the florist and I went a little overboard because she could barely hold them. (why did I not listen to Beth who said to buy one rose for every year old she is - that was smart - oh wait because I wanted to be extragant).
It was such a wonderful evening.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Play Date

Last night we (Matthew and I) had a play date with some of our friends.
I got an e-mail yesterday morning from my friend asking if I wanted to come over for coffee and playtime before bed.
It's pretty convenient since we do live down the hall from each other, so I immediately agreed.
I have to admit, I was a little tentative about it. Not because I don't have a great time with Ginny. Of course I do - she's the person who got me through that first year.
What I was worried about was that a) Matt would bite one or both of her daughters b)Matt would tear their house apart or c) and this is the biggie for me, that the friendship between the kids that we had always hoped for may not work out.
It's not that they hadn't played together - it's just that it has been with other kids. This was a real playdate.
I sound like I'm in high school - we've hung out in groups but we've never been alone on a date.
Anyway ...
Much to my surprise, the evening went really well.
First off, we'd all had dinner, so that was a good start. And, the truth is the kids just had fun. When I actually relaxed and didn't work about the dynamics it was fun. Mac, her older daughter, was just really fun with Matt. She set up a train track (she's 3 and a half) and let him run his train along it. Lindsey, the same age as Matty, did her own thing for awhile and then joined them in the play.
My favourite part of the evening was when they all started jumping on the bed and playing games. There's really pure and fresh about watching toddlers just laughing and playing and not having a care in the world. We just kind of watched them and let them enjoy each other's company.
Sometimes I get worried about what is out there for Matt - who he will be friends with, whether he'll fit in, how he'll do in school. And, then I watch him and I realize that he'll be just fine.

Good Karma or Good Day - I'll take either

Given that the beginning of my week wasn't the best I decided that a mid-week turnaround was in order.
Why? Okay well partly because I was feeling pretty sorry for myself (my sunburn hurt, I was stressed about the biting and I was just tired) and I sort of kind of whined to someone in the mailroom who told me he had no sympathy. Nice. And, then I realized I was being silly and turned the week around.
I did a couple of things that I think caused some pretty good karma.
First, the biting thing. I decided that I'd had my say about my hurt feelings. I spoke with the daycare teachers and supervisor and we came up with some tactics on how to deal with this. And then I realized that in the process of being upset I'd probably hurt the feelings of the daycare teacher who got me mad.
So I sat down and wrote her a really long note about all the things we love about her. And, I went in and cleared the air. We were both hugging. It was a good moment. She told me wonderful things about Matt and promised not to be critical of my parenting. And, Matt didn't bite anyone yesterday!!!
Next, was a bit of a bigger thing. I gave my bike trailer away.
I bought it last year in this quest to be a cool mom. But, after reading like a zillion blogs these past couple of months and hanging out more with one of my great friends (Run, Ginny, Run) I realized that I didn't need to hold on to something that I had pruchased for the sole reason of making other parents think I was cool, a good mom, or whatever.
I heard about a woman who needed a bike trailer to get to her cancer treatments. Seriously.
So I got in touch and I gave it to her.
And, it made me feel really good. And it also made met get over the silliness of being cranky.
So, the week is looking up. Good Karma? I don't know. But whatever it is I'll take it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I Got Tagged!!!

I'm so excited!!! I got tagged by Naomi at UrbanMummy. Thanks!

http://www.urbanmummy.com/journal/

5 THINGS:

5 Things in My Refrigerator:

  1. Lemonade
  2. Cooked Chicken for our Chicken Caesar Salad tonight
  3. Lots of Apples (some with bites taken out - thanks Monkey)
  4. Skim Milk and 2% milk
  5. 5 (count em) 5 English cucumbers. Did you know cucumbers are good for blood pressure?

5 Things in My Closet:

  1. Lots of shoes and purses
  2. A suit that I hope to fit soon
  3. Several unlabelled boxes
  4. A pair of sandals I love but are really high
  5. Probably my cat (it's her favourite hiding place

5 Things in My Handbag:

  1. Blackberry
  2. Soother
  3. a few lip glosses
  4. lots of change
  5. Dora Candy

5 Things in My Car: (this is very scary)

  1. Kyla's Birthday present - a giant framed Little Mermaid Poster
  2. Bob the Builder toys
  3. several old bottles that we are afraid to touch/smell
  4. lots of coffee cups
  5. A whole lot of paper, cups, fast food bags, etc.
5 People I Tag:
I don't know how to hyperlink so cut and paste, okay?
  1. Meghan (www.girlwholovestoknit.blogspot.com)
  2. James (http://jameskoole.ca/)
  3. Virginia(http://runginnyrun.jameskoole.ca/)
  4. Heather (http://hemakesmesmile.blogspot.com/)
  5. Rebecca (http://www.ninepounddictator.blogspot.com/)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A New Stroller

Look How Happy Matty is! He is not fearing impending stroller collapse!

So we did it. We bought a new stroller.
I'm very excited.
It is not a MacLaren. Mike didn't want to spend the money, and I kind of get why so we went for a compromise and bought a less expensive knock off with many of the same features.
I can justify this because I know that if and when I decide to have another baby there will be a shiny new Maclaren stroller waiting for me. And I will want a new stroller for a new child, and I will be justified in buying it.
Or my niece will outgrow hers and I will get it.
Or, maybe I will promise my friend Amy to name my future child after her and she will buy the Burberry MacLaren. Or maybe the will add Louis Vuitton to their collection and Ginny will break down and want to buy it.
Until then we have our "Hauck". Bonus points if you know what store this came from. Nope. It's not Ikea though it sounds like Ikea.
Pictures below.
Tomorrow is our trial run to daycare.



My boys!
Further to yesterday's post ...
I went into the daycare today, as usual, to drop off Matt. I was totally dreading it. As much as I enjoy confrontation at times, I hate it when it involves something like a daycare issue because I want them to like Matt and I want them to like me. I want us to all be a big happy family.
But I'm not happy. And their not, and if all the adults are upset about an issue it will affect Matt and I knew I had to speak to his teacher.
She knew it too and was kind of waiting for the conversation.
So, I said that I am pretty upset about what is going on. She explained that biting is an issue, etc., etc. AndI said I agree, but what I am upset about is that the other teacher made me feel like a rotten parent - and that was unfair and unhelpful.
And then I burst into tears.
Yep. The mature side of me came out in full force this morning.
But, tears work I think. And it is an emotional issue. And they are taking care of my most precious thing in the world.
We'll see how it goes to tonight.
PS Thanks to the people who posted responses/talked to me/e-mailed me offline about it.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Stupid Biting Issue Revisited

Today was a a very bad day. it just generally sucked, but then it got worse when I got to the daycare and I was "greeted" by a pissed of daycare teacher.
I didn't get a hello, or a friendly how was your weekend.
Instead I was accosted with "Matthew bit a child today."
Huh? what?
I get it. Matthew bites. He is 2.
Here's my problem with this. I leave him all day - about 9.5 hours with trained daycare teachers who watch him. They have their ECE and the place is well run. So, what the heck? Why am I being told off by a teacher the second I walk in the door?
I wasn't there. Yes, I agree biting is wrong. But, I WASN'T THERE. I didn't see what happened, I didn't encourage it or refuse to punish it. I was at work having a crappy day.
The teacher was so beligerent that I had to walk away for a second so I didn't a) cry b) scream or c) do both.
How do I explain to a 55 year old toddler room teacher that this is her problem. Not something she needs to attack me with, telling me how my husband and I should deal with this at home.
In fact we do tell him it is wrong. But, it is also up to them, during the day, to keep him from biting other kids.
I think part of the problem is that I don't want my child to be the biter of the class. I don't want to have the bully. And I want teachers to like my child. I work hard with him and I make sure he knows the difference between right and wrong. That's the most I can do. When I send him out of my home, even to the safe environment of the daycare I want to know that he is understanding the principles that I am teaching him.
But, at some point it is up to them.
I say this having been raised in a home with a father who is a principal. He would be the first to tell you the huge role the parent plays in a home, but I think (and correct me if I am wrong, Dad) that when the child is in a classroom the teacher has a responsibility to teach the rules and enforce them. Yes, the parents should be on the same team, but in the classroom the teacher is in charge. And, if a kid misbehaves in the classroom the parents should not be told off. Consulted yes, encouraged to take part in the discipline process, for sure, but not punished because their kid was bad.
Trust me - I had my moments. I could be a brat. But, that was not my parents' fault. It was mine. And, if you watched me as a child and teenager you would have seen that the classes I behaved in were the classes in which I was engaged and the classes I misbehaved in were the classes where I was bored. And, in the classroom teachers had to stand their ground.
I will never forget when I was in 2nd grade and I completely refused to do a very simple math assignment. My teacher stood her ground, did not let me get away with what I was doing, and I didn't cross the line again.
You know, Mrs. Black still is hands down my favourite teacher. Why? Becuase I knew where I stood with her and I didn't cross that line. She was cool and fun, and in story time she let me touch her suede shoes (she still laughs about this), but she never let us get away with murder.
So, how does this relate to the biting issue?
In my opinion, biting in the classroom is an issue for the classroom - and one that I am happy to work on but not be blamed for.
So, what am I going to do?
I have already spoken to the teacher, so now I am going to make an appointment with the woman in charge. I'm going to explain my issue in as rational and non-emotional a way that I can and I am going to come to a solution. I hope.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Am I a Hostage to the Soother??

Tonight something became crystal clear to me - I'm a hostage to the soother.
My son, who's 2, loves his soother. It's funny because when he was really little he didn't like it at all, but as he has gotten older it's his favourite thing next to a bottle of chocolate milk.
But it seems like lately we have become hostage to the soother. Tonight there is no soother because I have somehow misplaced it. Neither Mike or I can find it anywhere and we have looked everywhere. The question is, are we hostage to the soother.
My answer is slowly becoming yes. And I am thinking it's time to ween from it.
The problem is that I think it is me who will have a harder time than Matthew.
At daycare he seems okay with no soother. He gets it at nap time. Period. The rest of the day he survives without it. They claim he is fine. But, what do they do when he has a temper tantrum? What do they bribe him with when he's not listening or take away when he is being bad?
A very brave friend of mine decided that she would just name the date and then take away the soother. She followed through with this too. Since we live in a condo she simply let her kids throw their soothers down the garbage chute.
And it worked. Her kids are weaned of their soothers (her daughter is less than a week older than Matt so is a good gauge for me). But, she was totally on board with the idea. She also was able to throw a very beloved DVD down the chute when she had to follow through with a threat.
Am I being critical?
Of course not. I think it's genius.
I just don't know if I am ready or not. I'm way too attached to it and the value it plays in our life.
So, I guess we have a few options. We can take option A - the option Ginny took and dispose of the soother. Problem being, I would need to have Ginny throw it down the chute for me because I would wimp out. There's Option B - Let him keep it and give it up when he's ready even if that is like age 5. Or there's Option C - slowly slowly wean him from the beloved soother.
For now I have no idea what we're doing.
I just sent Mike to the car to hunt it out. We'll see if he finds it or not.

PS. Yes, I have thought about having more than one soother. I think we have about 26 I just can't find any.

Wonderful Wonderland

Yesterday Matthew, my niece Kyla, my brother-in-law Steve and I went to Canada's Wonderland.
There was much excitement around this event. Kyla and I had planned it for weeks (down to what treats we were each bringing) and I had explained to Matt what it was all about. Steve and I even had a couple of phone conversations about it.
So we met at our pre-arranged rendezvous point and off we went.
Now it may seem a little stange that it was me and Steve going. The reason behind it is that this year they are offering up by one day's passes get another day's free for the rest of the season. Becky and Steve went once with their kids and then asked if we wanted to go the second time and bring Kyla since she and I have always talked about going (seriously, she is almost 4 and we have been discussing this for about 2 years).
Mike wasn't too keen on the idea of going with 2 kids, so we determined that giving him the day off would be a great Father's Day gift and Steve wanted to go.
Anyway ... Back to the day

I have to say we had a pretty Wonderful time. I was a little tentative about bringing my 2 year old who doesn't stand still. But, with his cousin keeping him in check it went fine. The line ups weren't bad, and he loved that he got to go on all the rides with Uncle Steve while I went with Kyla.
I loved that I got to go on so many rides. Okay - so they weren't exactly scary roller coasters like I prefer, but what's not to enjoy about the mini rollercoaster that you ride with your kid complete with the camera where you can buy expensive photos. (we didn't because the pic wasn't flattering, but I will definitely plan ahead next time).
We also went to to the Dora show which was pretty darn cute. I started to sing and dance right along with dora and boots. I couldn't help myself. It was that good. And the fun thing about that show was that no one cared that I was singing and dancing along with dora and boots.
Side note for anyone who read the post about the Dora clothes - it is TOTALLY cool to wear Dora clothes at any age at Wonderland. In fact, you could buy a Dora shirt to wear to Wonderland.
Anyway, I was also really impressed with the staff in the kids area. They were so much fun. They were patient with the kids getting in and out of the rides and also totally fine about the parents being a bit anxious when their kids were going on an unchaperoned ride for the first time.
Probably the funniest moment of the day was when we were waiting to go on the airplane ride. We were in line forever (like about 30 minutes). It was hot, there was no shade and the kid behind us was having a complete meltdown. Matt and Kyla were both cracking and we just wanted to get on the ride. We were right at the front of the line behind one other family. WE WERE NEXT! Then it happened. First there was some delay starting the ride. Then one little kid freaked out completely so they stopped the ride to pull him out. Then it restarted and then stopped again because one of the parents hadn't left the ride area. Finally, it starts AGAIN. In order to make all the kids who'd been sitting on the ride happy, the guy decided to play Simon Says with them.
Okay, so that was funny.
"Simon says wave at your parents."
"Simon says raise your hands in the air", etc. etc.
Funny, except that he was making the ride longer to compensate and also longer because he was enjoying Simon Says.
Finally he does this long drawn out "Simon Says ...." and as he was waiting to fill in the blank the woman next to me yells
"MAKE IT STOP!"
Honestly, the funniest moment of the day. I couldn't stop giggling. I'm still laughing about it - it was that funny. But, funny in the way that you can't really repeat the moment. But, you will always laugh about it because it was funny.
The rest of the day was fun too. There was some spilled pop, a few tears and a couple meltdowns, but nothing major.
I think for me the highlight of the day was watching the cousins interract. They would often be waiting in line and just spontaneously hug. That was pretty cool. Or, they would go on a kiddie ride and sit there laughing about a joke that only they shared. I would watch them swiging through the air and laughing - and then Kyla would show Matt to wave at us, and then they would laugh together. Very cute.
I am thinking about going again. In fact, part of me wanted to run up to the desk and buy a season's pass. But, then I realized that part of what made the day special was that we don't do it a lot. That we can't just hop in our car and go up there. It's a treat and it's a big deal.
Pictures to come :)

Friday, June 16, 2006

Thirsday Thirteen on Saturday ... Why Not?

I like the Thursday 13 thing so I have moved it to Saturday because I have more time. Here we go ...

Thirteen Quirky/Crazy Things People Don't Know about Me (and probably don't care)

1. Growing up my nickname was Lauralski. My sister came up with it and knew it drove me crazy. Thanks, Beckwith (I mean, Becky)

2. I have passed 2 written driving tests and 2 road tests. I have failed one written test and 5 road tests. I do not have nerves of steel when it comes to driving tests.

3. People who drove with me before the age of 23 really are terrified to get in the car with me most of the time.

4. Some people believe that I have a slightly obsessive personality. I do not agree. Addictive maybe, but not obsessive.

5. If I were to agree that I am a tad bit obsessive the things that come to mind are: Phantom, Kurt Browning, City, and I think that is about it. Maybe also the Louis/'Flouis' thing but that was a short period in my life.

6. I took singing lessons - but quit shortly after I started.

7. I have done a mini-triathlon. It almost killed me because I had to swim in a lake and then bike and then run. What was I thinking? I believe I am a stronger person for having done that. And I will never swim in any lake again.

8. I forgot my hairdresser Bill in #5.

9. I love and adore the hairdresser who I have gone to for almost 15 years now and I used to send him cards and letters on a regular basis. If there was one person I felt I really needed to talk to in a crisis I would hands-down trust him with anything. He knows that. And, I love him for that.

10. Sadly, I love the Show America's Next Top Model. It's a bit addictive. Canada's not so much. This does not think I could be a model.

11. Pride week is important to me. I lived on Church Street and in many ways grew up as a person living there. I learned about acceptance - and also about being the one seeking acceptance. I plan to be at the Pride Parade because I want my son to understand - and not judge. And, yes, I will probably cry when I see PFLAG walk by because it always brings tears to my eyes and having my own child makes that more clear.

12. I am absolutely addicted to rewards programs like Shoppers Optimum Points. I love something for free - even if I have to spend more to get a reward.

13. When I was a child (maybe 7 or 8 I think) I was recorded on a cd with a small singing ensemble. I love to say I have my own CD. Actually, 20 years ago it was probably a record. A what? A RECORD!

The Stroller Thing - Take 2

I sould really be at the grocery store now so this is pretty short.
I had to follow upi about the stroller thing becasue I have had so much input both via blog and e-mail and also in person.
I am sure you've all heard the line of "if NAME jumped off the CN Tower would you?"
My mom stopped using that line on me pretty early because she knew that often I would answer yes. Plus, she is more creative than that.
So the question is whether or not I will buy a MacLaren stroller just because some blogger (and person I thought was pretty cool pre-blogging) that I think is like the coolest person ever suggested it.
Yes.
Pretty much.
Not to mention you can buy a Kate Spade or Burberry MacLaren. Cool stroller and cool brand. Actually, I will not push for one of those.
Though, Amy, if you are reading this, I am sure that the BURBERRY stroller is not much more than your Burberry everything else. Matty would really love you if you bought him that stroller (hint hint)
I digress.
I am defintiely going for it. True it's not in the budget. But what is? Not much. And if having this coveted stroller will make me this much happier I am getting it.
I think I'm stopping by Once pon a Child.
So now the hunt is on. Bring on the Maclaren. You only live once, and really I have taken a test drive and they are defintiely remarkable.

Where's my Fire Warden Hat?

I rarely blog about work.
There are several reasons for this, but mostly it is because a) I spend a lot of time here so I don't feel like talking about it when I write and b) I don't think it's really appropriate since it's such a small world.
However, one of the things I tend to do at work is get involved. If there's a company activity or outing I really try to go because I am one of these people who think that work stuff (like company picnics, etc) are fun. And I also get asked to join things. It must be my sparkling personality - or the fact that I talk way too much to just about everyone. And, side note, I always got in trouble for talking in class and now look at me - it's encouraged.
Anyway ...
The one thing that has been big at work lately is the fire warden program. I attended the training sessions, I got the red hat (no, there are no pictures) and I took part in a fire drill, leading people to exits. The training really actually inspired me to learn a little more about safety both at work and at home.
Add to that the fact that the last fire drill the entire building evacuated in record time, and I am feeling pretty proud of my skills.
Maybe a little too proud because ...
When we got to the daycare today the fire alarm started going off. My first though was that I may have a chance to use my new fire warden skills. I made sure to keep Matthew outside, and then I instructed other parents to stay outside while it was being investigated. I think at one point I did say "I am a fire warden, afterall".
Okay - so it turns out that it was a test. My skills were not needed. But, I did feel quite proud of not only my knowledge but my lack of fear in the face of such an event. I was also wishing I had my Fire Warden hat on. I think the other parents would have been duly impressed by it.
And, there really was a moment of banding together. One of the moms pulled out a soccer ball and had the kids kicking it to each other. Another dad was about to take the kids to the playground. We were moments away from singing Kumbayah.
And then it stopped.
Excitement over - back to work.
I'll say this - bring on the fire alarms. I'm ready!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Biting and Strollers

En route to the daycare today I started to write a blog entry in my head. This frightens me slightly. The topic being strollers and then biting factored into my morning, so herewith is a double entry all rolled into one. (fully inspired by Nine Pound Dictator's "I love you and Needles" which is 2 seemingly unlikely topics rolled into one. And, if Rebecca can do it I can surely copy - though she is a professional writer and I am not).

Anyway ...

Back to the stroller issue.

My husband and I are currently in discussions about the purchase of a new stroller. There are a couple of things at issue here. First is that Matty-Matt is two and does not need a stroller for mobility. Second is that we have a couple of strollers already.

My argument for the stroller is this. I'm completely and utterly frustrated by the stroller we use. It's great because it is small. It was pretty cheap (about $25) and does a good job. Except I use it all the time and the wheels are slowly breaking on me. Plus, we are always carrying things to and fro on the stroller and if Matt climbs out the think topples. It drives me crazy.

And, on the topic of age. I agree that he is old enough to walk. But that is also my problem with it. He is old enough to run away from me. And, when we are constantly around buses, cars, subways and busy streets I want him contained as much as possible. Don't get me wrong. The child runs a lot. He plays outside a couple of hours a day and is non stop most of the time. So sitting in a stroller to commute I think is smart. I just need a good stroller with extra strong harnesses.

So we will see.

And on to the topic of biting ...

This one gets me pretty upset.

Matthew is biting at daycare. I'm not totally sure how to handle it. I really really feel like is teacher is putting some of the blame on Mike and I. And that's not fair. The cruxt of her problem is that Matthew laughs when he bites. Why? She wanted to know.

I don't know. It's not like Mike and I laugh when Matt bites us. Nor do we play games and run around biting each other and laughing. (well ... not around Matty anyway. Ha ha.) But, seriously.
I don't really know what to do about it. We talk to Matt about biting. We tell him no and we tell him that it is mean. He even is now saying "No biting."

But it continues.

Ahhh ... the terrible twos.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Friends Again!

Last night I called a friend I haven't seen in awhile.
She's a mommy friend. She's one of those friends who met me at my worst - when Matt was only a couple of months old.
Together with our other friend Ginny (see my Mother's day posts - I don't know how to do hyper links) we got through a whole lot of crap together. We went to play groups together, we went shopping together, we borrowed clothes and shoes and celebrated New Year's together.
And then life kind of seperated us.
We used to live in the same condo (where I am again and where Ginny always has been) and then I moved to Oakville and she moved to Scarborough.
But, the biggest thing dividing us was this:
I went back to work, and she stayed home. Don't get me wrong. She was not judging me. But, I was certainly judging myself. And when I spent time with her I felt guilty. I felt like I wasn't as good a person as her because I was following a different path.
I clung to the friends who were making the decisions I wasre: working because it was easier.
But, you know what ... she stood by me. In fact, as I dreaded putting Matt into daycare she offered up her home if I wanted him to stay with her (and she had 2 toddlers). That's just the kind of person she is.
We stayed in touch, but I kind of closed her out a bit because I wasn't quite ready to hold myself up to the mirror of her choices.
But last night I called her -- Because I realized what I was doing. And I realized that maybe, just maybe there was a bit of jealousy going on on my part. And we chatted about a lot of stuff - about the stuff that makes us so like.
We laughed about our little boys and their love of dinosaurs, the stages they are at and how crazy they can be. We talked about our relationships and we talked about our friends. And, I realized not only how great it is to have an incredible friend. I realized how amazing it is to know that sometimes people wait for you to be ready to be friends again when you get over yourself and your silliness.
There's a lot of stuff that I know I would like to change to be a better person. And last night I realized that maybe being a little less judgemental (of myself and others) would be a really great to start.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Art of Peace or Art of Noise ...

Last week I went to a rather phenomenal exhibit called the Art of Peace. It was hosted by a friend of mine (and colleague). She put together this exhibit of student art work, poetry and writing dedicated to peace. It's a pretty great idea.
And she invited me to the opening of the exhibition.
The event was held at the Scarborough Civic Centre. I'd never been there before. The work is displayed in the rotunda and the ceremony (guest speakers) we in sort of the main part.
The event last week started at 6pm and as it was pretty casual Matthew and I arrived at 7. Being the good mother and friend that I am, I made sure that Matt was clean and fed and looking dapper for our arrival at the exhibit.
I worked hard at explaining to him that it was art, and told him his friend Angela would be there.
Maybe I hyped it up just a little too much because Matt was excited when we arrived - despite the fact that we had parked a distance away and gone up 2 hills and many stairs searching for the location.
Whatever. We found it. And we walked into the centre to enjoy the Art of Peace.
In about 30 seconds it became The Art of Noise. Matty's noise that is.
"Oh WOW!" he screamed as he ran down the spiral staircase laughing.
I quickly followed him, grateful that I had not worn the heels my husband wisely warned me against.
He was about to greet our friend when he spotted the fish.
What municipal centre, I ask you, has in its centre a HUGE fish pond filled with coy that a kid could climb into. Oh - wait, that's the Scarborough Civic Centre.
So, while guest speakers, readers and danceers celebrated peace, this mother and her toddler talked to fish. I can honestly tell you I have never seen a fish jump out of the water till last Thursday's fish feeding. It was pretty cool.
What surprised me, though, about the evening, was how accepting everyone was. People were smiling at us and laughing and not rolling their eyes.
Hmmm ...
I guess we gave peace a chance (ha ha ha)
And, PS Angela had the most GORGEOUS eyebrows of anyone there. Really.

Soccer Fever

Our soccer star!

My husband's family is Dutch.
They have soccer fever. And, given that I used to play soccer when I was young I enjoy watching soccer as well. So, since the world cup is on we are glued to the set when the Netherlands play.
Here's an interesting tidbit I did not know.
The Dutch flags colours are red, white and navy, but the soccer players wear orange (as do many of their other sports teams). The reason behind this is that the last reigning monarchs were the House of Orange. So now everyone wears orange. Fascinating, eh?
We decided to introduce Matt to soccer. We went to Toys R Us and bought a ball and then showed him soccer on tv.
He's kind of indifferent, but the pictures sure are cute.
Enjoy!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

A wonderful day

Yesterday was great!
The first great part of the day was that one of my colleague's came back to work. She has been of for 10 months because she had breast cancer. I had just started working at my job when I met her. She's about my mom's age, so there is a significant age difference. But, it was just a very comfortable friendship. The kind where you can chat for ages on a quiet afternoon and really not even mention anything about work.
And then one day she just disappeared and we later heard she had bresat cancer. I was delighted to see her back. And, of course, when she came over to say I promptly gave her a hug and started to cry. (it's okay - she did too). And, she's doing really well. (and looks amazing).
Honestly, as I said to her, if I didn't know where she had been I'd have thought she'd spent the year off and ended it by going to a spa and getting a makeover.
I don't think there's a better start to the day.
But the day got better. Usually I eat at my desk, but yesterday I went out for lunch with several other "assistants" in my office. It was fun. We were laughing and joking around and having a good time. It was nice.
And then I left early and went shopping en route to pick Matty up from daycare. I had time to have a nice chat with his teachers and watch him play with his friends for a bit. One funny thing, he always talks about his friend Nathan. It's Nathan this and Nathan that. I was expecting someone really exciting. Nathan is the shyest quietest kid in the class. He just sort of watches Matt run around. Funny.
Anyway, so I took Matt to Starbucks where we sat and enjoyed chatting and watching the traffic. We don't do that enough. It was pretty fun. I love that my son actually is going for coffee with me now.
And, then we ended up at Toys R Us. So, there was a temper tantrum. I wouldn't buy something for Matt. He really really wanted a digger. But, it was expensive and we were getting another toy and I put my foot down.
In the middle of Toys R Us he started a big temper tantrum. Tears, screaming the works. And, I stood my ground. (I am really trying not to give in to the tantrum.)
But, instead of the usual stares a woman came up to me and said, "Good Work - my daughter is going through that too and she bites." And then she turned to Matt and actually said "You're cute and your mom is doing a good job."
And, shortly the temper tantrum ended and off we went.
I know it was a small thing but I really appreciated it and it was such a nice way to end a nice day.
Okay - I'm off to garage sales.
Vamanos!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Open House Tomorrow

Tomorrow's the big day - an Open House at my mom's new office- the Oak Park Wellness Centre. Here are the details:

OPEN HOUSE
Saturday, June 10
10 am- noon
Oak Park Wellness Centre
231 Oak Park Blvd.


Just a quick note:

My mom, Kate, has teamed up with someone named Peter West. They both offer life coaching, stress management, etc.
I first met Peter when I was 16 and going on a trip to Africa. He was the editor of a local paper and he came to interview me. When I eventually mentioned to him that I wanted to write one day he let me write a story upon my return. It was my first published article. He encouraged me and really pushed me in a direction I wanted to go.
He has since gone on from editing to do some amazing things in his life, and is now doing life coaching and running men's groups.
We've had chances off and on to meet and chat, and as my mom explored counselling they ran into each other and decided to become a team (professionally). When she told me I was thrilled. He's such a great guy, and has been such an inspiration to me.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Where is my Gold Star??

Today we had the bus ride from h&*%.
Seriously, it was awful. It started when Matt refused to stay in his stroller. As the stroller is crap he can either a) climb out of it or b) look like he's strangling himself while trying to climb out. I am okay with B when I am alone, but when I am on a full bus with annoying leering strangers I am not so okay with it.
So, I let the toddler loose on a TTC bus in rush hour.
Ha ha I say to the snotty onlookers who leered. Watch me now.
So they watched as Matt ran around screaming, I tripped over my shoes, bag and stroller 3 times and Matt stood laughing saying "uh uh mommy fell and hit head, arm, leg"
That was all in the first 2 minutes.
We got to the first major intersection and Matt threw lego at the woman behind us.
Next major intersection a couple kindly offered up their 2 seats (the man had been holding my stroller for me).
So we sat and Matt spent the next 15 minutes jumping, climbing, pulling hair and singing "The Wheels on the Bus" while I tried to keep him calm and keep myself calm.
And then the end was in sight. I could see the stop where I press the button to get off.
So could Matthew. He wanted to pull the string right then and there.
I saw the gleam in his eye; I saw him reaching for the string.
But no. He is not allowed.
I stopped him.
Two stops away from our beloved home he had the temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums.
It was golden.
I too started to cry. Just a little. I could almost pretend it was sweat. Everyone stopped staring. They knew I was cracking. Just knew it.
And then we hit it. The beloved stop where we pull the string. I whispered to Matthew. He stood up and pulled it. The whole entire bus knew it was HIS turn. And some mean spirited person pulled it before he could get to it.
What did I do?
I stood up and in my best impersonation of a Bus bell shouted "DING"
Matthew started crying, temper tantrum ended and he climbed back into his stroller and we got off the bus all the while shouting "ding ding ding".
Please please let this not continue.

He's not popular .. He's a bully!

So ...
Forget my post on popularity.
It seems that Matthew is not ruling the daycare with his friendly antics, but rather with an iron fist.
That's right. He's a bully.
Yesterday when I came to pick up my sweet adorable angel from daycare I was told that he has been having some issues with aggressive behaviour. In other words, he is bullying.
I was actually pretty upset about this.
Matty is a really sweet loving kid, but he is also big for his age and he would be quite a good bully. He's also really strong and so if he pushes another child he could really hurt them.
So ...
What do I do?
I asked the teacher who has been working with toddlers for years. She told me that this is pretty common with toddler boys, especially at this age when they are still really learning to communicate. It's easier to push someone or bite someone to get a toy than to ask them. So, she said that it's something they will work through, and are asking us to work on at home.
Of course I will.
The interesting thing about this is who he is picking on. At home, he attacks Mike way more than he attacks me. He often bites Mike and hits Mike and pushes Mike. He's aggressive with me but not nearly as much. It's like the Pomeranians who take on the Pit Bulls. What's with that?
He's like this at daycare also - he is way rougher with the boys than the girls (unless the girl is aggressive too).
There are a million books on the issue. My favourites include "teeth are not for biting" and "feet are not for kicking".
It's just so frustrating. Mike read online that toddler boys are more aggressive than wild animals. This seems pretty accurate judging by the bruises we are both covered in.
But, then he is also really sweet. It's like he has mood swings. One second loving the next second attacking.
I'll have to do more research. My goal is to raise my son so that he can stand up for himself when necessary but also treats people with kindness and respect. Is this too much to ask for? I hope not.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

These Boots Were Made for Walkin'

My little cowboy. These boots were too cute to pass up. We taught him to say "giddy-up"

Popularity

Is it possible that my son is popular?

I know it’s wrong to play the popularity game. But, let’s be honest. Most of us want our kids to fit in, be liked and be productive members of society.

I’m not saying that I want him to be invited to every high school party, but at the same time I do want him to feel like he is surrounded by lots of friends, and feel a part of the social scene.
In other words, I want my child to be liked. And, yes, popular.

And, I think he is.

The other day I was bringing him to daycare and some of the older girls (like, I think they were a good 3 years older than him) said “Hi Matthew!”

I was kind of surprised. I mean, I thought his classmates may know his name by now, but the older kids? That surprised me.

And, another time I arrived at the daycare quite early and there he was leading his friends around the play yard like the pied piper, except that instead of carrying a flute and attracting rats he just kept yelling “come on” and holding everyone’s hands.
I was so proud.

And the friendships continue. Last night when we were leaving, there were a bunch of kids playing in the second storey playground (There’s a rooftop playground. Weird, I know, if you live in the suburbs, but to me it’s very New York – even though we live in Toronto). Anyway … they were all shouting goodbyes to him. It was pretty cute.

I tried to hold back on thinking about how nice it was that he is so popular among his friends. But, honestly, why should I?

So many kids growing up long to have lots of friends. Matt is pretty outgoing. By that I mean he talks to everyone. If there is another child in a stroller he will usually start to talk to that child. Or play a game or do something.

I have to admit that I think it is way easier to go through life in the “popular group”. I’ve been popular and I’ve been not as popular. I think it’s a cyclical thing. But when it comes to being honest about it, it’s way easier being the kid that everyone likes than being the kid who is picked last for the softball team.

Though, I’m sure it’s different for guys. I’ve seen my husband with his friends. They kind of grunt at each other. It’s not the same mind game behaviour as girls have. So, maybe I’m looking at it wrong. Maybe for boys it’s not all about being popular.

However …

Matthew also really like ballet and runs around the house “doing ballet” and part of me worries that we will not be signing him up for soccer we’ll be signing him up for ballet and figure skating. I’m okay with that (especially since he’s big and my nieve “pretty Paige” as he calls her is petite so they would be IDEAL figure skating partners, but I digress). My point is that if he ends up being around girls a lot he will have to worry about popularity.

This is all so confusing.

I thought boys were supposed to be easier!!!

Popularity

Is it possible that my son is popular?

I know it’s wrong to play the popularity game. But, let’s be honest. Most of us want our kids to fit in, be liked and be productive members of society.

I’m not saying that I want him to be invited to every high school party, but at the same time I do want him to feel like he is surrounded by lots of friends, and feel a part of the social scene.
In other words, I want my child to be liked. And, yes, popular.

And, I think he is.

The other day I was bringing him to daycare and some of the older girls (like, I think they were a good 3 years older than him) said “Hi Matthew!”

I was kind of surprised. I mean, I thought his classmates may know his name by now, but the older kids? That surprised me.

And, another time I arrived at the daycare quite early and there he was leading his friends around the play yard like the pied piper, except that instead of carrying a flute and attracting rats he just kept yelling “come on” and holding everyone’s hands.
I was so proud.

And the friendships continue. Last night when we were leaving, there were a bunch of kids playing in the second storey playground (There’s a rooftop playground. Weird, I know, if you live in the suburbs, but to me it’s very New York – even though we live in Toronto). Anyway … they were all shouting goodbyes to him. It was pretty cute.

I tried to hold back on thinking about how nice it was that he is so popular among his friends. But, honestly, why should I?

So many kids growing up long to have lots of friends. Matt is pretty outgoing. By that I mean he talks to everyone. If there is another child in a stroller he will usually start to talk to that child. Or play a game or do something.

I have to admit that I think it is way easier to go through life in the “popular group”. I’ve been popular and I’ve been not as popular. I think it’s a cyclical thing. But when it comes to being honest about it, it’s way easier being the kid that everyone likes than being the kid who is picked last for the softball team.

Though, I’m sure it’s different for guys. I’ve seen my husband with his friends. They kind of grunt at each other. It’s not the same mind game behaviour as girls have. So, maybe I’m looking at it wrong. Maybe for boys it’s not all about being popular.

However …

Matthew also really like ballet and runs around the house “doing ballet” and part of me worries that we will not be signing him up for soccer we’ll be signing him up for ballet and figure skating. I’m okay with that (especially since he’s big and my nieve “pretty Paige” as he calls her is petite so they would be IDEAL figure skating partners, but I digress). My point is that if he ends up being around girls a lot he will have to worry about popularity.

This is all so confusing.

I thought boys were supposed to be easier!!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

I'm a Loser!! Seriously.

Okay...
I am a loser. But, in a good way.
After 5 weeks I'm finally seeing a bit of a difference on the scales.
I weighed myself today and I lost 3.5 pounds this week - for a total of 13 pounds!!!
Last week I was a little disappointed because I was hoping to hit 10 pounds and I didn't. Today I was pleasantly surprised at what I saw. Well, in the context of losing weight that is. I can't say I was pleasantly surprised by the actual number. But, really, who is pleasantly surprised looking at the scale? I don't know.
But, the point is, I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I don't have that much willpower, especially when it comes to food. I'm an emotional eater - happy or sad, angry, stessed, joyous, excited or just hungry, I will eat. I also am not particular to certain foods - sometimes I want candy sometimes I want chips, but really either will do in a moment of frustration. So I am really trying to curb that behaviour.
I feel like a lot has changed about my lifestyle too. At work I've stopped going to Tim Horton's for cookies so much. Really, I don't miss them that much. I am bringing and eating all sorts of healthy foods, and the people who I am around the most at work understand this and encourage it. If we go for a coffee run we don't get treats.
At home I've been trying as well. I think it's better for all of us if we eat a little healthier. Matty loves the fruit I buy and if I tell him we're going for a walk he's thrilled. If anyone is dragging their heels it's not Matt. That's for sure.
So, onward and upward.
Here's to another few pounds and maybe just maybe not dreading wearing a bathing suit this summer. (Okay, I'm kidding about that one! I will always dread bathing suits)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Potty Adventures!!!

While shopping today I happened upon some Bob the Builder "big boy underwear" in Matthew's size and I picked it up.
I was pretty excited about it so I woke him up from his nap when I got home and tried to convicne him to put them on. That was a dumb idea because he was still pretty groggy. But after dinner he finally came around to the idea.
So, my little monkey decided to run around in bob undies. (wisely we put them on right after he had a wet diaper!)
This went really well. He didn't have an accident or anything.
So, before his bath I asked him if he wanted to sit on the big potty. Surprise surprise he said yes. And he sat and he peed.
I'm not sure who is more excited about this. Me or him. Mike is rather non-plussed about the whole thing.
I don't think we're going to push it till later in the summer. In the beginning of July we are going away to Vermont for a week (anyone want to cat-sit??? Our condo is air conditioned) and I can't imagine the 9 hour car ride with a child potty training, nor can I imagine wandering around the mountainous wilderness wondering where the next bathroom is. At the end of July his daycare is closed for 2 weeks and I don't think my babysitters are volunteering to help with the toilet training.
So, for now we will have fun with the potty and with the Bob underpants.
Though, I do find it a little creepy that Bob stands directly on the crotch of the underwear. It's funny and weird.
And ...
In other news of Matty.
We bought a Science Centre pass today and went for a visit. Matt loves it, so I think we have fun days ahead.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Daycare ... I love it

I started my blog after Matt started in a new daycare.

When we lived in Oakville (for about a year) and I first went back to work we found a wonderful daycare for Matt. I LOVED his teacher. She was amazing and kind and sweet and cool and Matt loved her to death. In fact, I loved all his teachers there and the centre managers. It was a hidden gem and I don't think I realized how great it was until we were moving and had to find a new place.

Our first attempt at a new daycare lasted for 2 weeks and I really hated it. I knew it was the wrong place when I voiced a concern (something I don't do a lot because I am pretty easy going) and I was told that "he was growing up" and I just had to accept it. Huh? I pulled him out that day.

And then he started at the daycare he is now.

I love the place!!

It's very different from his daycare in Oakville, and it made me a little nervous. But it has worked out really well. Over the last week or so I've discovered something. He really loves the place!

I knew he liked it, and I knew I liked it, but it takes time, and it seems that time has passed. He's in the routine now, and so am I. I know the names of all the teachers he is around frequently. He talks about them constantly!!

It's funny because the teacher he spends the most time with is the complete opposite of his teacher in Oakville. I don't mean to say she is old, but we have discussed her pension on occasion! She is rigid and strict, but she is really loving and it works. I have to admit that she makes me a little nervous because I often feel intimidated by her knowledge of toddler issues, but I am learning she is there to help me, not be critical.

The other day I said to her that I can't imagine spending all day every day with toddlers. She looked at me like I had 2 heads!! Really, I can't imagine it, and I don't think she could ever imagine sitting behind the desk and not singing itsy bitsy spider 27 times in a day.

She is balanced out by the preschool teacher who we see many mornings. Matthew LOVES her. We are usually the first family there in the morning and she is so relaxed with Matt. I love when I know she will be there because she works some sort of magic so that Matt doesn't cry at drop off. I don't know what she does, but really, it's wonderful.

For me daycare was such a tough choice. But, here I really feel like it was the right one.

For the past few weeks I've been taking the bus with a woman who is about to have her first baby (due early October). We started chatting, and have gotten to know each other fairly well. She asked me the other day about putting Matt in daycare because she is making the choice now. I said to her that when you are really comfortable with the place you are at it's a good choice.

I hope that was good advice. (and flattering that she asked. I know this is a topic for another post, but I am very flattered that someone is asking me for advice on everything from daycare to childbirth options. Is it possible that to some people I come off as a reasonably sane, put together and dare I say it mentally healthy mom??? I'm beginning to think so)

Friday, June 02, 2006

Finances - Ick

Mike and I have been talking a lot about our finances, or our lack thereof.
When we went for a brief time to marriage counselling we went through several of our issues - typical couple with a toddler issues -- not enough time for each other, dealing with stress, work/life balance, etc. We did really well in the counselling and enjoyed it.
The counsellor was pretty cool, and I think it's a fantastic thing for any couple.
At the end of it, though, she told us one thing. If we are going to stay together we need to get some financial counselling. (or win a lottery, I would imagine).
So, it's been something Mike and I have discussed off and on for awhile now.
What is financial counselling. I don't really know. There are a million different types, it seems, and a lot of services, but the issue from most of them is that there is a reason behind because obviously people want to make money.
We want to steer clear of those.
So the other day I was online and looking some stuff up and I came upon a web site for a television show where they basically offer you financial advice for free. The catch is, obviously, that you are on television.
Hmmmm ...
Of course I sent the application in. Why? I think part of it is because I assumed that they would say no and that we could then decide that if the tv show declined us we really were on the right path toward "financial freedom".
I was wrong.
They called us within a couple days. We did a preliminary interview and it turns out that they are really interested in us. And, we are really interested in them.
So, we are in the process of of working with them to get on the show.
On the one hand we are really excited. On the other we're not - for a couple of reasons.
1) It's admitting failure to the whole world, or at least to Canada and whatever country they decide to broadcast it in. (lol Japan? China? Indonesia? I wonder how I would sound if I were dubbed in another language?) Or at least admitting that we tend to overspend on stupid things
2) I am not entirely sure I want to go on a financial diet. I mean, I hate diets. And I am on one. So, what do you do when you can't go out to dinner? You go to a mall and buy stuff. Or, in my case garage sales. Either way. I'm a little afraid of what I would have to give up.
I guess what I am saying is this whole thing makes me nervous ... and excited. Would we be able to do it?
Will be accepted past the initial interview stage????
We'll wait and see.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - 13 Things I admire about my friends

I was inspired by someone else's Thursday Thirteen. I hope this doesn't sound like a highschool year book

Thirteen Things I admire in my friends (in no particular order)

1. Wonderful zaniness and complete confidence in who she is. (Stef - How could I not instantly become friends with the temp who walked into our office with a fish lunch bag and long red braids without a second thought?)

2.Tolerance and patience (Sabrina - She has been with me since our first day of J-School - she even put up with Boom Boom confusing us in diversity class)

3. Exuberance (Salina - Who else would even think to make their 1-month old "dance" in the puppet theatre at the playgroup and laugh when the other more snooty moms are shocked?)

4. Strength of conviction (Ginny -I always know where I stand with her, and where my ideas stand with her. There's no pretension)

5. Humour (Beth - She can make almost any office situation funny - and find anything I say hilarious. Sending blackberry messages back and forth is more addictive than passing notes in class)

6. Vision (Meghan - She will someday get her book published - I know it!)

7. Enthusiam (Ketly - Being around her is just generally uplifting because she is a fun person)

8. Encouragement (Amy - Sometimes all you need to solve a problem really is a latte and a listening ear and she's always there with both)

9. Guidance (Donna - I've looked up to her as my mentor for years. When I was struggling through breastfeeding I'd check my e-mail and there would be a wonderful e-mail encouraging me and answer the many questions I may have had - but there was never judgement.)

10. Caring (Sarah - She's that person who will get you a coffee when she knows it's been a bad day - and not expect you to do the same back. Even though of course you want to. It's just not a requirement of your friendship)

11. Love (Kyla - For Christmas I got a carebear ornament and this adorable 3 year old said to me "I really wanted to buy this for you because I love you very much". She loves me for me - it amazes me the capacity kids have for love, and even when I'm feeling and looking my worst she is excited to see me.

12. Longevity (Greg - The only guy to make this list! He's been in my life for so long and has been a friend through ups and downs. It's a friendship I can't explain for the most part, but I can't imagine not calling him my friend. Life would just suck)

13. Goodness (Becky - She just covers all the good qualities like patience and kindness and friendship and love. A little of my sister's time goes a long way.)

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Bus is Broken

They say in comedy it's all about the timing.
I think my son is going to be a comedian.
Yesterday on the ride home the back door on the bus wouldn't open. The driver got out and tried to fix it with no luck.
The next thing we knew he decided to turn off and completely "re-boot" the bus.
This has happened to me before. The whole thing just turns off and the lights are out etc.
No biggie.
Well ...
This is the first time such an exciting event had happened for Matthew.
Off went the lights, the fans, etc. Everyone got quite and did that mutter you hear on public transit when you know you may be awhile. That collective groan.
Then silence.
And in the collective silence, the moment of pure calm Matt shouted:
"UH OH! BUS IS BROKEN!"
I have to say, it was probably the funniest moment in his short life.
Everyone bus cracked up.
I cracked up.
The driver cracked up.
And Matt realized that he was funny. And he cracked up too.
In the end it was no big deal. The bus got turned back on and the doors worked again.
And the entire way home Matt announced to everyone "bus is broken. bus is broken"
My son - the comedian.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I sware I am serene!!!!

Second post of the day - I have a lot to say.
I read the article below in the Post today. I know some people like that paper, but it's not my favourite (I'm sorry). It just irritates me some days. Like today.
The story below was on the front cover. I read it a couple of times because I couldn't figure out exactly what was annoying me.
But wait, it's the first sentence "The serene stay-at-home mother who teaches her children as she cleans and cooks all day remains the main focus of modern literacy advice to families, ignoring the reality of the modern, dual-income working families"
Okay - so I understand that this is a researcher who is saying that (see below) but I also understand that they picked out a very specific phrase that just perpetrates this whole working vs. stay at home argument to use as the lead paragraph.
In my opinion they did this to raise the ire of some people. Like me.
It frustrates me to no end that they that they automatically assume the mom at home is calm and serene while the mom who works is frazzled.
Okay, I am a little frazzled, but in relation to my year of being at home not so much!
Really, meet some Stay at Home Moms. Unless you have a live in nanny or something to help you out you are generally not all that serene. I don't mean that to be offensive. It's the toughest job in the world, I believe.
I think the point that should be made here is that most literacy training materials are directed toward stay at home parents.
Point taken. How does the fact that they use shopping trips and laundry to teach reading cause SAHM's to be more serene?
I don't see this researcher saying that. What I think she is saying is that literacy material is more focused at SAHM's.
Well, that makes sense.
I'm not offended or annoyed by that part. I am still taking issue with the word serene.
Truthfully, when it comes to literacy, I don't worry that much about it. Why? Becuase he is in daycare, and one of the advantages of daycare is that is something that they work on. I get report cards and daily information from them. I do care, don't get me wrong. I love reading and I think it is crucial to my son's development. But, he's reciting his ABC's, Counting (in English and Spanish, thanks Dora!) and knows his colours.
Why? Well, I attribute that to the daycare he is in.
My sister stays at home with her kids. And, yes, they seem equally bright.
But, she does use those tactics to teach. Why? Because she is home with them all day, so instead of throwing laundry in at night she uses stuff like that as a learning session. This is normal. She also does stuff like that with the dishes and cleaning up.
She does not always do this in a serene fashion.
She doesn't own a dishwasher - how can she be serene about doing dishes? And, what does it matter in the scheme of literacy?
Really, this story is not front page news unless you want to piss people off. I really don't believe that literacy materials encouraging families to use grocery shopping as a learning experience is only focused on SAHM's. It is just more geared towards them. They know their audience - parents who are home with their kids. And, why not use laundry, cooking and cleaning as learning lessons. Yes, that is how parents did it a hundred years ago. And it worked.
And at the same time, hello, many of us working parents still grocery shop, wash our clothes and bake and cook, and we really do use these times as learning lessons.
Whatever, it's a good point, and something to look more into. Maybe there should be some literature on using the commute to daycare to teach my child counting (one bus, two bus) good hygiene (don't put your hand in your mouth after touching the subway seat, use more Purell) and even grammar (find the spelling mistake in that billboard).
But, please, let's not bring up the argument about how serene parents are.
Really.

P.S. This article is really interesting - you just have to get over the first paragraph.
---
News
The myth of literacy & stay-home mothers
Anne Marie Owens
National Post
600 words
30 May 2006
National
A1 / Front
English
(c) 2006 National Post . All Rights Reserved.

In a week-long series from the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences, the National Post showcases some of the most interesting research being undertaken in Canada.

- - -

The serene stay-at-home mother who teaches her children as she cleans and cooks all day remains the main focus of modern literacy advice to families, ignoring the reality of the modern, dual-income working families, a Canadian researcher has concluded.

When parents are instructed to encourage their children's literacy, there is a subversive undercurrent that often favours this old-fashioned image of motherhood as primary agent for children's reading, says Suzanne Smythe, a graduate student at the University of British Columbia.

"The advice embeds literacy in domestic work traditionally performed by women," Ms. Smythe says. As in, "Bake cookies with your children," "Let your children help with the shopping list," and "Doing laundry is a good time to teach colours and sizes."

Often billed as based on the latest science in children's reading, she says much of the advice about encouraging children to read remains unchanged from what women have been told for the past hundred years. Even though lives have changed dramatically, with more women working and more families with time-strapped, double-income couples, much of the advice aimed at helping kids read is still rooted in very traditional notions of family life and in a mythical mother who teaches as she goes about her busy day.

"Literacy advice is often less about promoting reading and writing than about regulating mothering practices and children's reading choices," argues Ms. Smythe, who presented her findings at a conference in Toronto yesterday in a paper called, "Ideal Families, Ideal Literacies."

For her doctoral thesis, she examined child-raising manuals, parenting magazines and family literacy promotional materials from the 19th century to the present day. What she found was "a remarkable continuity" in the content of advice to mothers.

She says even though school boards often say broad-based statements such as, "Parents are their children's first and foremost educators," what is hidden in that statement are gendered assumptions about mothers' roles and primary responsibility for literacy development.

Much of the home instruction on literacy ignores the possible roles of fathers, siblings and other community members, and also fails to recognize children's own literacy interests independent of their parents, she says.

She says it is more subversive than the 19th century literature, where at least literacy was overtly expressed as the mother's domain. Now, the political correctness of language suggests that all of this is parents' work, not mothers', and yet the reality and the expectation are largely unchanged.

She says she began the research when her own children were small and she realized that even in her equal-responsibility home, where both parents read to the children, the responsibility for homework, for school assignments, for communication between home and school, fell to her.

"Is children's success in literacy and in schooling dependent on the work of the 'ideal' mother," she asks in her paper. She says the question is more than rhetorical and is particularly relevant today, when cash-strapped schools are increasingly relying on mothers not only as teachers in the home, but as advocates for school conditions and fundraisers for the school.

Back to Daycare & Work

So despite my rant yesterday it was actually a pretty fun day.
It was a nice surprise to stay home with Matt and just have some fun.
I'll say this first of all - if my maternity leave had been with a toddler it would have been a lot more fun.
Seriously.
When Matty was an infant I would say "hey, do you want to bake muffins today?" and he would scream. Or I would say "hey, let's turn on the music" and he would scream.
Yesterday was much different. When I offered to make muffins he brought the chair over and got very excited, helped stir and cracked the egg for me.
When I turned on the music he danced!!! It was great.
We even made a yummy dinner (he asked for mashed "tatoes" though he didn't touch them) and just enjoyed each other's company.
But, at the same time I think we were both ready to go back to daycare/work today.
When we got to daycare he was so excited, his friend was waiting for him and they found the teacher who told them that they were going to eat breakfast outside today. I got a couple extra hugs goodbye and then they were off.
Is it okay for me to feel this happy about the daycare send off?
I am pretty positive that I feel happy about it because Matty is so happy about it. Yesterday for both of us was a treat. And, I think we both appreciated it. I know I did. I got a whole lot of extra cuddles and impromptu kisses that aren't generally part of my work day. And it was so nice.
But, I also think it was because it was unexpected for both of us. I don't really think that we'd have mellow days like that if I were home all the time. I think I'd go back to being just as frazzled as I was, and constantly trying to come up with new ways to entertain him.
So, today I'm back at work. And, I'm happy to be here (especially since we have a divisional lunch that will be fun). I'm happy to be working, and happy that my job pays enough that I can put Matty in a daycare where I know he is safe, happy, well taken care of and I think I can go so far as to say loved. (not as much as by me, but in a completely different way).

Monday, May 29, 2006

Where's the Bus???

I know that I don't always love the bus and subway, but today it's ridiculous.
Who thought that calling a Wildcat strike for a Monday morning - with no warning - was a good idea? This strike is ridiculous.
Here is why I am annoyed.
I live in Toronto and chose a condo that was accessible on 2 bus routes. I chose a job that I was able to commute to by transit and I chose a daycare that is on a subway line. And, I buy a monthly metropass.
I RELY ON TRANSIT!!!!
This strike is ridiculous.
I understand unions, and I am very sympathetic to the plight of drivers. But, I also pay a lot of money every month. It is completely unfair of them to cripple the entire city to further a cause that at this point hasn't even been clearly stated.
Are they locked out? Is it a wildcat strike? Who knows.
What I do know is that it is very frustrating.
My son couldn't go to daycare today because I didn't know how we would get him home or how I would get to my office if we got a ride to the daycare. It's a very long walk. I estimate 2 hours.
So, he is at home trying to entertain himself while I try to get work done.
This morning my boss was on the phone trying to have me re-word something. She said to me "why did you pick that as the important thing to point out in the e-mail". Well, because while I was trying to draft something halfway logical Matthew was climbing the chair.
So in order to actually speak logically I gave Matt a popsicle and figured out what I wanted to say.
He has had several popsicles today as I have been on the phone. Oh well.
But, I have to admit it hasn't been all that bad.
We've had a fun morning.
Matty and I have watched some tv, had a cup of coffee and just relaxed. Well, kind of.
And, he has a new phrase "where's the bus?" How cute is that.
I think this afternoon I will teach him to say "wildcat strike" or maybe "lockout" but first I have to figure out what it is.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

I'm So Proud!!!

(My Mom and Matt)
Usually I write about my experiences with my son and all of the reasons I am proud of him.
But, today I was proud of someone else ... my mom!
Today Mike, Matty and I went with her and my dad to see her new office in North Oakville.
My mom is my greatest ally and an inspiration. Don't get me wrong, we don't always get along. We've had many arguments and we certainly don't see eye to eye on every issue. But, she's an amazing person and an incredible mom (who I draw a lot of inspiration from.)
For the past few years she has been changing her career path. She has always wanted to make a difference in the lives of others, and the way she does this is through training, solution focused counseling and stress management coaching.
When she decided to do this she also committed to keeping her family first. Between us my sister and I have 3 children. My mom kept her grandchildren snd children a priority (especially when Matty, Mike and I arrived on my parents' doorstep for a few months between houses!). She's committed to her work, but she always makes time to bake brownies with my nieces and blow bubbles with my son.
My mom made so many huge leaps in the last 5 years it amazes me. Few people have the courage to leave a full time job with no guarantee of full time work in order to what you really want, but that is exactly what she did. When she turned 50 she decided it was now or never.
So, I am really proud to say that she has now grown her business enough to expand into her very own office.
Way to go, Mom! You're an inspiration.