SURPRISE!

A week ago my sister and my friends surprised me with the most amazing surprise party for my 30th birthday.
To say I was surprised is an understatement!
We were supposed to be going to a restaurant for dinner with a couple of friends. When I got to my sister's house she had me come in for a minute. When I walked in there was a roomful of people there for a fondue party.

Ginny (holding Chloe) me and My Sister Becky

It was pretty special to me. I was shocked to see some of the people who were there. It seems like as we get older and lives get busier it's really hard to get together, and knowing that everyone there had to make some sort of special arrangement (i.e. childcare, changing weekend plans) to make it there made the evening all the more special. And, the fact that nobody spilled the beans (including my 2 & 5 year old nieces) is just a little shocking.
The pictures say it best.

Me (looking shocked) and Susie

(from left) My wondermommies Kerry & Ketly, Ginny, Me & Susie

After dinner we had chocolate fondue. The plan was that we were going to watch Sex & the City on DVD, but we ended up chatting till past midnight and never turned on the DVD. The other people in the picture (who came a little after the surprise part) are my friend Natalie and my cousin Lisa.

A quiet moment with Chloe

Hapy Birthday To Me

Thirty

Today I turn 30!
Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But, it is kind of funny to now check a different box off when I'm doing surveys, and to say "I'm in my thirties." Yep. Pretty much otherwise no different.
I was thinking today about the difference that 10 years makes. You know, because it has been a decade since my last significant birthday.
A lot has happened since I turned 20. On that birthday I'd been with my boyfriend for a few weeks. That was the first birthday I spent with him. Today is the 10th. When I turned 20 I had a party with a bunch of friends, and that's when he realized he loved me (I already kind of knew). It was a birthday where we couldn't stop saying we loved each other. This year, the I love you was demonstrated by a hot cup of coffee being freshly made just the way I like it, with him changing the baby so I could get dressed.
At twenty I was trying so hard to define myself. I felt that I needed a signature drink, a signature look, a signature lipstick. A signature hairstyle.
At thirty I'm learning that I don't want all of those things set in stone.
Who wants to order the same thing when they go for a drink? I'd much rather try a new girlie drink than have the same boring vodka-cranberry over and over and over.
As for a look? I am pretty particular about well groomed eye brows, but other than that, I want to mix it up. I don't want to have a "mom" look or a "career woman" look. I just want to be me. Somedays that means a killer pair of heels and a tailored skirt. Recently it's meant jeans and flip flops. Whatever. As long as I don't consider crocs a fashion statement I figure I'm doing pretty well.
But most of the stuff about me. It hasn't changed. I'm still the same old person I was. So bring on 30! I'm loving it :)

My Mother's Day Gifts

I love Mother's Day. Mike made mine extra special with some special surprises that were incredible.

And, I loved every minute of it. But, looking back at the pictures, I realized that the best gifts are right here with me.

My Boy

My Girl

Yoga

Tonight I finally made the trek back to the gym.
It's been a long time. Because of a scare early in my pregnancy I took several months off of the gym. (I did walk a lot).
But since I've passed the six week mark and I'm not exactly loving my body, I decided to go back to the gym. I thought I'd get off to an easy start with a yoga class. I debated boot camp, but thought I'd wait a few weeks.
It was wonderful.
This is the first time I've taken an hour away from Chloe, and the class was exactly what I needed. The instructor was fantastic, and when I told her it was my first class since having a baby she made sure I didn't do certain things and that I was okay. By the end of the class my body felt fantastic. It was a pretty mellow yoga class, and it was all about listening to your body, etc. I think this is the first time I really have listened to my body in yoga and not just tried to get everything right.
And the 5 minute part where you just lie on the floor and do nothing. Golden.
For me the hardest part of going to the gym is getting back into a routine. I don't mind being there. In fact I kind of enjoy working out. It's just the initial visit, and sorting out the timing and getting comfortable again.
So going there tonight was important to me. I'm not so anxious about it. Actually, with the exception of a few more dance classes nothing has changed. That's not true. They added some "fun" dance classes. There's one class where each week you learn a new style of dance like salsa or tango and get your workout that way. I can honestly say that kind of a class would be a nightmare for me. Bellydance flashbacks, anyone?
So, for now I'll stick with the easy classes and and see how it goes.

The Birds ... The Shock

This morning a met a couple of WonderMommies and their children at a play place so the kids could run off some steam while we enjoyed coffee.
It was a wonderful morning. There were no calamaties. We had a nice chat. It was a good day.
And then it was time to go.
It was one of those easy departures. Matt was tired and looking forward to a break in the van. Chloe was asleep. We got in the van and got settled when we saw a hoard of seagulls flying toward us. I think there were 5. For some reason it caught my attention and suddenly ..
BANG.
Something slammed into my windshield.
Logically it was a seagull. There was a big gob of red right on my windshield. It was horrifying.
And then suddenly I heard it. Major noise on top of my van.
I almost had a nervous breakdown. There I was, in my van, with a half-dead bird on my roof.
I didn't want to roll down the window for fear of a half dead, or potentially dead bird, falling or flying in my window.
Matthew was in the back seat asking what the noise was and where the birds went. I didn't quite know how to explain to him that a bird was dying on our roof racks. What if the bird got stuck in our roof racks?
By this point I had tried to call my sister (who was across the small parking lot) to solicit her help, but she was in conversation with our friend.
And then two teenaged boys walked past. They looked like nice kids. The kind I hung out with in school. The kind I'd like Matt to grow up to be like. They didn't seem vicious or crazy. But, they suddenly looked at my van, pointed and LAUGHED. I was horrified. Kids these days. Laughing at a dying seagull on my roof.
I tried to ask them about it, but when I refused to roll down my window and I pointed at my roof they almost fell over laughing.
And then I realized I could just drive to Becky and Kerry. Maybe they could help.
Instead. They laughed. They both started laughing.
Finally Kerry convinced me to roll down my window so she could explain. I did. A bit. Just enough that I could hear her and yet no birds could get in my van. (by this point I was actually shaking).
It turns out there was no flailing dead bird on my van.
What happened was a group of seagulls had found a half piece of pizza and were fighting over it when they dropped it on my van window.
One of the seagulls retrieved it and it somehow ended up stuck in my roof racks where the pigeons were fighting with each other - hence the banging noise.
When I drove over to Becky the seagulls followed me and were again attacking the pizza.
That's why everyone was laughing.
I chose not to get out and look.
But halfway home a piece of pizza went flying from my roof.
Is it any wonder I'm a little tired these days?

Who Needs a Personal Trainer?

Really.
I have a four year old.
One of the promises that I made Matthew was that when we stayed home I would take him to the local playgrounds. One of the great joys of our neighbourhood is that we are surrounded by playgrounds.
I did a drive around the area, and discovered 5 playgrounds that are various walking distances away. And we also have one in our townhouse complex (though it's just okay).
So, today Matt got on his trike and I put Chloe in her stroller and we went to one of the parks. It was about a 20 minute walk. A twenty minute FAST walk because Matt can ride that trike. Half the time I was practically running to keep up with him.
And, unlike when you're working out with a trainer, you can't exactly just say "no more. I've had it" with the realization you're paying. No way. If I don't keep up there is the distinct possibility that he could ride on to the street or run into a pedestrian.
Of course, before we even left for the park we had to eat a healthy lunch. Forget about the junk I may have eaten, Matt dictated a lunch of yogurt parfaits - strawberries, vanilla yogurt and granola. And, when I asked what he'd like for dinner he told me "salad would be nice." Seriously.
I have to admit though, I really enjoyed our trip to the playground. We met my mom there, and Matt played for quite awhile. Between the walk (about 20 minutes both ways) and the playing and our little picnic (apples and muffins) we were gone 2 hours. Matt was thrilled to see Grandma, and the child needs to run off his energy.
The only problem is that now his energy is returning and I'm ready for a nap!

Conversation

Today Matt was eating McDonald's in the van when he dropped some fries.
"Oh DAMMIT!" he screamed as I was driving.
I asked him what he had just said.

Matt: Dammit.
Me: Do you know what that means?
Matt: Yes. It's Spanish for "Oh Shoot"
Me: Really? Who told you that.
Matt: Daddy.

Nice.

Soon it will be Highschool Dances

On Sunday Mike and I took our kids and my older niece to the Toddlers Gone Wild launch party where they danced, got tattooed and ate yummy mini cupcakes (at least licked the icing off) and they danced in bubbles.
They had fun.
So did I.
In a shy way. I was overcome with nerves and took awhile to build up the courage to go say hi to Rebecca Eckler. (but I did, and she's lovely of course). And I could not figure out why my beloved husband kept blushing and acting all weird, until he admitted it was because he was in the same room as Erica Ehm.
The best part though was the kids. I loved watching them dance and play and have a good time.
And, at the end take a little breather and just chat and relax.

Post-Baby Weight Debate

It's been almost 4 weeks since I've given birth and of course my mind has gone to the topic of weight.
Prior to getting pregnant I was trying to lose weight. I had a goal weight of, let's call the number x, and I was, on average, 15 lbs over that number. I had kind of plateaued and had been there for awhile. I was happy there, and a nice enough size, but realistically would have liked to be 15 lbs less.
With Chloe I gained about 25 lbs by the end. So, nothing near the 87 lbs I had to lose with Matthew (that I lost except for 15 lbs, but it took me 3 years). With Matt I was able to lose about 10-15 lbs, and then I had major problems. A huge part of it was over-eating which I later learned should have been attributed to ppd. But, the point is, I found that the numbers didn't really come down. Or, they did and would go right back up.
For me it was horrible going clothes shopping because we had very little money, so I was watching every penny I spent, but nothing fit. And, really, the larger you are the worse cheap clothes look on you. (I could show you pictures). And I refused to wear my maternity clothes. Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment.
So, with this birth I decided that I didn't want to go through all of that - hence less weight gain. I was worried about how long it would take to lose the weight.
here's the funny thing. I now weigh exactly the same amount that I did before I got pregnant. Great, eh?
Not so much. I still need to wear clothes that are 3 sizes bigger (which, thank God, still lands me in regular sizes). I'm afraid to pull out most of my pre-pregnancy clothes because I know trying them on will be discouraging - and painful. I'm not sure if it's cause of the c-section or because of being pregnant - or both - but all of the excess weight is in 2 places: my boobs (not a bad thing) and my lower tummy. It's like my body has completely re-shaped itself.
I've been doing some research on this, and it is apparently fairly normal, but it can take 1-2 years of exercise and LOTS of sit-ups to get your normal tummy back. That would be fine if I even liked my normal tummy, but I've never liked it. So, who knows ...
I find the whole thing rather baffling. If you think about it, if I'm the same weight now that I was pre-pregnancy and I'm fat in 2 specific places, there should be some places where I am skinnier. Right? Ummmm ... nope. I've looked. I would love it my legs were suddenly more sculpted or I had thinner arms. But no - same old body plus extra tummy. NOT fair.
I'm pretty sure that I can't do sit-ups yet (my doctor said 6 weeks before exercise), but I am walking. And, in a couple of weeks we're joining the Y as a family which means we get to do my favourite exercise - swimming!!! (though bummer that I will need to get a new bathing suit - cause that will be fun times. And a bikini wax. Ouch!)
Part of me is trying to be content at this weight, but then another part of me is thinking that we're going to Disneyworld in July. So, I'll have about 8 weeks to get in some sort of shape - and between eating healthy (easy to do in the summer), and exercising (going to the Y and bringing Matt to the park a lot - and we walk there) I could realistically lose about 10 lbs. Not quite a goal weight. But, enough to like my body a bit better. I can only imagine how many pictures we will be taking while we are there.
What I'd really like to do is come up with some sort of healthy meal plan to keep us all on track for being in slightly better shape for Disney. One day at a time.

Oh, and speaking of working out ... as you may remember, last year I did a 5k race in June. I put it on hold to have the baby, but plan to take it up in the summer or fall.
My friend, Lou, was an amazing help to me. He was the first person I ran 5 k with, gave me tons of encouragement and didn't let me give up when I said that running was not my thing.
Guess what? At the age of 66 he completed the Boston Marathon yesterday! His time was 4:35:31 and he came in 19,114th Place. I was pretty impressed! It's been his goal for a long time to do this, so the fact he made it there is pretty amazing.

Loving Age 4

There's a funny phenomenon happening a our house. Our entire family is loving age 4.
I know.
Weird.
I kept hearing to watch out for the age of 4 because it's called the "f*&%ing fours."
The thing is, I haven't seen it yet. Sure it's early days. But still. I'm loving it.
In the last couple of weeks Matt has decided being 4 means he can do a whole bunch of stuff. For instance, he's insisted for the last year that he CANNOT put his own shoes on (and how fun is it when you're 9 months pregnant putting your child's shoes on?). Then he turned 4. And "four-year-olds know how to put on their own shoes."
And on it goes. Forget about needing help with his clothes, he's 4.
Forget about being bad at a restaurant. As soon as we remind him he's 4 we're back on track.
Add in the whole big brother thing and it's amazing how much of a change is happening in our house. He wants to do his own bedtime routine (brushing teeth, putting on pj's). He's not fighting us in the mornings anymore because he chooses his own snacks to bring to daycare. There's no screaming and crying and bickering.
I think we've been laying the groundwork for this for awhile. But, it's amazing to see how it all comes together.
His new "thing" is the thumbs up. Okay, so I taught it to him, and I do it a lot. But, it's just a really easy way to say "good job" if he's listening well or doing something great. And, he's totally adopted it. I LOVE it!
Really. I just love age 4.
Matt has about 9 days left in daycare, and I'm finding that I'm looking forward to being home with him and his craziness full time.

Soooo Exciting!

So, have you seen it?

Of course I'm excited about this ... it's Rebecca Eckler's new book "Toddlers Gone Wild".
Here's the truth, I haven't read the whole book yet. It's a quick read, but like all good books, I'm hesitant to read it too quickly because then I will be done.
But so far, I'm LOVING this book.
It's funny. And it's quirky in a good way. And, since when I do get a chance to read I'm interrupted by a baby who needs to nurse or a 4 year old who wants to discuss Buzz Lightyear, the fact that it's all short sections is fantastic.
And, of course I love it even more than I would have anyway because my son, yep my son (!), is quoted in it. Adorable.
My confession. I've been sick since the weekend, but yesterday I was super sick - like shivering, high fever kind of sick, and so today I decided to not make any plans to do anything but sit at home, chill with Chloe and finish reading my book.
Can anyone think of a better day? Well, actually, a better day would be doing that without still sniffling, coughing and having a fever. But, whatever. Perfection.

Matt turns 4!

Matt blowing kisses to his fans

Matt's fourth birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and this past Saturday was his birthday party. After his party he officially decided he is 4!
So far I'm loving 4. He's been such a sweetheart and is working very hard at being a big boy. Here are some pictures of his birthday party. I'm not posting many because a) it was kind of hard to supervise and take pictures and b) I don't think it's fair to post other kids' pictures without their parents permission.
A lot of the kids who came to the party were daycare friends. We just gave our 2 weeks notice at the daycare, so I think next year will be junior kindergarten friends. I still can't believe I have a 4 year old!!!

Mike's masterpiece - an arial firetruck cake

How old is Matt???

Just before we left Matt told me that "Chloe was a really GWEAT birfday gift." What can possibly top that for his 5th birthday? Twins?

My Kids are Cute

I know ... we all think our kids are cute, but really sometimes I look at Matt and Chloe and am blown away by how beautiful they are.
At first I thought they looked alike, but as my friend told me, babies change every day, and really every day I see something different in Chloe. I'm still not so sure that she looks like someone in particular. Maybe she will - who knows.
As for Matthew. He's 4 now. Insane, I know. And, he's such a little boy. Even last year I could see the baby in him, but now I just see the kid.

Matthew Gardening

Our Happy Baby

And what other excitement is going on at our house? Let's see. Our street has been completely ripped up and we're getting new watermains. Exciting, no? It is to 4 year old boys, husbands and local highschool students who sit and watch the construction. Even a class of daycare kids came to see the action today.
Actually, it's kind of interesting to have all sorts of construction people right outside my door. It's quite fascinating to watch the whole process. And it sure beats a water main breaking and flooding my basement!

I Survived Day One

As any new parent will tell you, the first day that your spouse goes back to work after the birth of a baby is a little daunting.
When Matthew was born I was terrified. I clearly remember the day before. Mike drove us to pick up some necessary supplies at the drugstore and then we decided to get lattes from Starbucks. Since it was a busy day I stayed in the car with Matt while Mike got the lattes, and Matt started screaming which quickly turned into crying. By the time Mike returned to the car I was in tears also. By the time we got home I was pretty much panicked about being alone with an infant all day, and Mike was more than a little worried about leaving me alone.
I've told the story about a million times, about how that first day I was home alone, my neighbour came over and introduced herself, and in the end it all worked out okay.
That same neighbour (who now no longer a neighbour, but is a very close friend) sent me an e-mail last week telling me it will be okay this time.
And, today was that first day.
Okay, so granted Mike came home at lunch, both my mom and sister were by, and I have a calmer baby. But still...
It was weird.
The day started off a little rough with Chloe actually crying a LOT because she was a little under the weather. (she's fine).
But, I felt lonely.
I can't really go out to any mommy groups right now. Physically, the c-section is still taking its toll and I'm exhausted.
Emotionally I'm still kind of up and down. Like, when I tried to read Chloe's birth announcement to Matthew I started to cry. I'm not quite ready to meet new people when I'm just a couple steps away from an emotional meltdown at any given moment. How crazy is it that when I tell people that Chloe is a good nurser my eyes water. Forget about trying to announce that Matthew just turned 4. It's a little ridiculous.
So, for now, Chloe and I are getting reacquainted with our friends Regis and Kelly, Rachael Ray, Oprah and of course Marilyn Dennis (why is it that both Matthew and Chloe can sit transfixed and watch Brian Gluckstein for an entire hour of Cityline????).
The good news is I'm learning a lot. For instance, did you know it's not the end of the world if you don't have 8 glasses of water every day? Or how about if you cut out a tablespoon of butter everyday you could lose 2 lbs in 10 weeks. And, did you know Kathy Lee Gifford host the 4th hour of the Today Show? It's true. I didn't even know that there was a 4th hour of the today show. I've discovered that Valerie Bertinelli REALLY annoys me (almost as much as Marie Osmond) and that Whoopi Goldberg has no fashion sense.
Okay, really, I can't wait till I can get out and about more.
But at least I made it through day 1 and it only gets easier from here... right?

As If ...

Seriously ...
Last night was a pretty good night. We swaddled. We used the bassinet. Chloe slept.
Matthew went to bed feeling a bit feverish - nothing Motrin couldn't fix.
When Matt, Chloe and I got up I sent Mike back to bed since he was looking pretty tired. And, so there we sat - Mommy and her 2 babies - feeling pretty good. We had calm, we were all watching Buzz Lightyear. When it was over I asked Matthew if he wanted to hold Chloe.
It was a total Kodak moment until I reached over and gave Matt a hug and realized that he was covered with a rash. And holding the baby. Crap.
After panicking and waking Mike up I realized that we probably didn't need to go to the hospital. (in all fairness, this child hasn't had a rash in more than 2 years). Instead I called our amazing new doctor's office and spoke with the nurse who completely calmed me down. She explained that it's likely that the rash is from the fever and that he's not suffering from anything serious. And, she has even squeezed us in for an appointment after Chloe's well-baby visit.
So, today isn't going exactly as planned.
Oh the joys of parenting!

UPDATE: Matthew is fine. The rash was from the fever, and he's feeling much better. Though we're really glad his birthday party is next weekend - not tomorrow. By the end of the visit he had us all laughing over some of his comments. He was such a cutie.

This Saturday's Toronto Star ...

In case you're interested (why wouldn't you be???) Chloe's birth announcement will be in this Saturday's Toronto Star.
It's a miracle since I got kicked off their website about 6 times, managed to place a very expensive ad by accident, had that deleted and finally had a helpful woman figure ad placement out for me. Honestly, why make an online system that doesn't work????
Anyway ...
If you get the Star on the weekend, check it out. And, if you know me in person, save it for me. If you live too close to my house good luck finding a copy. I'll be sending Mike out to buy a bunch of newspapers.
As for the sleep situation - a nice afternoon nap made everything better. Matthew seems to be on the mend, and my WonderMommy dinner has arrived. All is well in my world again!

And I said it was easy ...

That was all till last night hit!
After a really nice dinner that our friends brought over, the evening became a bit of a challenge. First we realized that Matthew, who usually doesn't feel the need to go to bed EVER was lying on the floor saying he was sleepy.
Mike took his temperature and discovered that Matt had a fever, and truly wasn't feeling well. So, we let him sleep in our bed and then had some time with Chloe before I went to bed.
Not too bad.
Until Chloe realized it was night time which must mean time to eat and eat and eat. Instead of being the angel baby that we know and love, she ate and cried ALL NIGHT. From 10:30 till about 7 am she ate at least once an hour. And, when she did sleep, she refused to go in the bassinet because then she would scream some more. I was getting crankier and crankier. She was getting crankier and crankier. Finally at about 4:30 we both fell asleep while she was nursing and we woke up 2 hours later in the exact same position. weird.
to add to the fun of the evening, I had decided earlier in the day that I didn't want to be taking all the pain medication I was prescribed. So, instead of just taking a lower dose to wean myself, I just stopped taking anything. So, once Mike convinced me to take pain meds just a little longer things felt a little better. But, it took awhile for all of it to kick back in.
Needless to say, today I'm a little tired.
Matt is home from daycare today because he still has a fever, and the last thing we want to do is have him sick on his birthday. And, quite honestly, neither Mike nor I seem to have the energy to fight with him about getting dressed, going to daycare, etc etc. Besides, Matt has decided that he's really into watching Cityline and that is what we're doing today. And, hopefully we'll have a nice long nap this afternoon.

We're Home!

Yesterday evening, around 7:30 we all arrived home, safe and sound and in one piece!
We thought we would be home earlier, but Chloe had a jaundice test and it was borderline, so they extended our stay so we could enjoy one more yummy hospital lunch before going home. Luckily she passed the 4pm blood test, and we were allowed to go home.
Life with Chloe has been pretty wonderful!
I am totally in love with this baby. She's got a very sweet personality. She sleeps a lot. Basically, she wakes up to nurse and then looks at us for awhile and goes back to sleep.

I had fully planned to formula feed. With Matthew nursing was a major struggle. He cried a lot and rarely slept, and when he was hungry he just screamed more. Chloe is a little different. Because she is laid back, and I'm more relaxed about things, nursing has been a joy.
From the first time I tried to feed her she latched beautifully, and I can honestly say that the bonding experience everyone told me breastfeeding is actually is true in this case. I'm thrilled.
We're still going to introduce formula so I can get more sleep and have more flexibility. But, all that will come in time. For now I'm just enjoying being a new mommy and all that it entails.

My c-section went really really well.
I'm in very little pain (okay, thanks to pain meds). There were a few moments where I was in agony, and I'm still taking the stairs slowly, but I'm not complaining. The incision is healing beautifully, and I'm not in a ton of pain. And, because Chloe is so tiny the incision isn't sore when I nurse.

I was surprised by how low the incision is. When I asked my doctor how low it is she told me that it's called a bikini incision, and she is confident that when warm weather is here the incision will be healed. GOOD TO KNOW!!!
It's all about getting into a bikini :)
Anyway, here are some pics.
I'm still feeling a bit groggy from all the meds, so I'm not sure if this makes tons of sense but I wanted to show you my little girl.
Matthew is doing very well also. He is loving the new role of Big Brother, and has already been showing Chloe how to play with toys. She particularly enjoyed playing catch with him.
And as for the cats ... Rosie, the kitten, is confused. Mojo is standoffish. We're all good around here!

Much Anticpated Pictures!

And here she is:

Introducing: Chloe Jessica!

On behalf of Mommy Laural and her husband and son, here is little Chloe.

I can assure you Mommy Laural is doing well and little Chloe is a jewel!

More pictures will be coming soon!

A Little Princess

She's a girl!
Chloe Jessica was born at 12:29 pm today, March 28, 2008.
She is tiny - 6 lbs 6 oz.
We are totally in love.
Mommy is sore from a c-section, but managing the pain.
We will post pictures soon.

Tomorrow is the Big Day!!!

I'm so excited!
I've done the requisite blood tests. I've had the tour of the ward. I've met with the nurses. I've had the explanation of the spinal vs. epidural vs. spinal/epidural. In case you're wondering - I will likely have the spinal.
And, I feel more than ready.
In 24 hours or so we'll be pretty much ready to go. We'll be dropping Matt off at daycare and then off to the hospital.
I've been told that with a planned c-section there's a lot of "hurry up and wait" so I plan to bring some magazines and relax as much as I can while I wait for everything to happen.
Truthfully I'm just so excited to cuddle this new little baby.
We will be posting an update here. I'm not exactly sure when, but check back if you want to see pictures and stuff.

5 Days to Go!

Am I ever counting down!
I figure that this will likely be my last pregnancy picture. This was my Good Friday outfit. I was pretty impressed that I actually found something that was comfortable!
Depending on who you ask, I'm carrying either high or low. I've either dropped or I haven't. I look like I'm carrying a girl or I'm carrying a boy!!!
Confusing.
So, what do I think?
I'm definitely carrying lower than I did with Matthew. I don't think I've dropped. I don't think my face has changed all that much, but I don't really know what that means.
I haven't spoken much about my weight this pregnancy. But, since several people have asked me, with Matthew I gained around 80 lbs. (I started off a lower weight than with this baby). This time I'm hovering right around the 20 lbs mark. As much as I'm ready to have this baby, I have to say that I'm way more mobile this time around and in a lot less pain.

The Countdown is ON!

Tomorrow I have my 2nd last pre-natal appointment. And the countdown is ON!!!!
I will be having my baby in two weeks from tomorrow (or sooner!). I'm soooo excited. Okay and a little nervous.
What am I worrying about?
A) Having a c-section
B) Not having a c-section.
I kind of want to go into labour before my scheduled date, throw all caution to the wind and go with the flow. I've got lots of people supporting me in this (my doctor included) with the final decision being if it doesn't happen on its own then d-day is March 28th. I'm totally okay with that.
And ... I have lots to do in the next couple of weeks. I have the weekend projects that include my husband like a little more clean up (sorry sweetie) and installing the car seat.
And then there's my other list.
I've got to fix my hair colour.
I need to get my nails done.
I would like to get my eyebrows done.
I need a bikini wax.
I want to sort through baby clothes.
I need to buy a nursing pillow.
I also need to carve out relaxation time. Ahhhhh! Sweet afternoon naps. I love afternoon naps. I have borrowed a couple books from my friend and I may even pull out some scrapbooking stuff. My goal is to fill my time so I'm not wishing the next two weeks away.
A week on a beach would be nice also, but I'm guessing that's not in the cards.
Of course, Easter is also coming up. It's an early easter this year. Matthew was born just before Easter on Passover and we brought him home on Good Friday. (it was a late Easter). Part of me is thinking it would be nice to have the baby before Good Friday. But, whatever, I don't think that will happen.
But ... wishful thinking.
Plus, tomorrow is my last day of work. Yippee!!!!

So Close ...

I have 16 days left of pregnancy.
I have 2.5 days left of work.
I'm done! I'm totally looking forward to a couple of weeks to unwind, nap, watch tv and do very little else before this baby makes her grand entrance.
That is, if she doesn't show up early!!!
Here's the thing ... I'm the world's most impatient person! I'm trying to concoct all sorts of ways to bring on labour. Nothing is working. I do get contractions, but I think that's normal in a second pregnancy. Nothing else happens. Boring.
And, the contractions all happen at the weirdest times. Like on the GO Train. And while I'm trying to have a little nap on the way home from work my mind goes to scary places, like what would I do if it were real contractions or if my water broke while on the train. Or standing on the platform, or walking from Union Station to work.
Anyway, I've unlocked my blog for awhile. You know ... just in case the baby comes early. I plan to post here and also send an e-mail.

Checking In ...

It's been a long time since my last post.
Things have been a little busy in our neck of the woods. I have one week left of work, and at about 36 weeks pregnant here I'm getting tired!
It's funny wrapping stuff up at work. It's hard figuring out which files to keep, pass to others, etc. And, I still need to write some sort of e-mail to everyone explaining who to contact for various things. I was working on the wording of my e-mail last week and I was laughing when I realized that I have worked on enough projects over the last couple of years (the last year in particular) that I'm referring people all over the place - from my department to lawyers, etc.
Hopefully it will all sort itself out.
And, of course I argued to keep my blackberry on mat leave. There are valid reasons for this, but I do believe it is entirely possible to go into blackberry withdrawal! And I will want to keep up.
Otherwise, things are going well with my pregnancy. Of course I'm hitting the point of being of uncomfortable. But, that's pretty typical. I'll be glad to have a couple weeks off to prepare for the baby, and you know, nap! As much as I want this baby to come early I also wouldn't mind a few days to finish getting ready.
Speaking of getting ready ... we're getting there. Last weekend we bought a ton of stuff in Buffalo (no, not a car seat or crib, don't worry) and then this week I had a shower held by my friends at work, and also a lunch out with a lovely gift from the people I work with. I was really pleasantly surprised and touched.
We're now trying to get our house in order, buy the stuff for my hospital bag (this snow is not helping me!!!) and chill till the big day arrives. That would be 19 days or less. Woo Hoo!
I know I've had my blog locked for awhile. I'm thinking of unlocking it (or taking off the password protection) for a few weeks once the baby is born so that I can post pictures and updates.
I've been playing around a bit with the template to take off some stuff that was bugging me (like the facebook link) so I'm not quite as worried. And, thanks to the fact that one of our work intranet designers showed me a little bit about understanding html coding I figured that all out on my own!
I think that's it for now.

Birthday Plans

Despite the fact that I've been almost obsessively planning for the birth of the new baby (seriously, my husband gets weekly to-do lists) one important thing that I have not forgotten is Matthew's upcoming birthday.
As long as all goes according to plan, I'll be having a c-section in 11 weeks from today.
Matthew's birthday is 12 weeks from today.
And, yes, we will be having a birthday party.
I know that sounds a little crazy, but when your child is in school or daycare, birthday parties become a huge deal. Matt talks about his constantly. And, I really don't want to let his birthday fall through the cracks.
Four is a big deal. He gets it this year.
For months he has been talking about his birthday party. He wants it at "the tree store" which is a local indoor playground that we booked last year. He has created his list of friends. Well, it's a changing list of friends that varies in age from his one-year-old second cousin to his 98 year old great grandad, but there are some constants such as his cousins and his friend Austin.
And now we are on to a theme.
Last year's theme was Monster Trucks.
This year we are having a fire truck theme.
I'll be honest, I'm getting a little nervous about it all. I mean, excited, yes, but worried that we won't pull it off.
Can we even bring a 2 week old to an indoor playground? Matthew has made it clear that even if I'm sick I will still be at his party. And if I go I think the baby goes.
Actually, I think we're a little insane.
Who books a birthday party 2 weeks after a c-section? I think I may be calling in the WonderMommies for a little crowd control (we shall discuss over coffee and pedicures) and hope that it all turns out well.
How stressful can a birthday party be? Ha. Not stressful at all :)

Family

I try hard to be a good mom.
My husband tries hard to be a good day.
And, occassionally we screw up. Our plans not to argue in front of our child don't always work out. We shout when we shouldn't. We have a short fuse at times. And, sometimes we step back and worry that perhaps we should be better parents.
But, then there are the days when we realize that despite the craziness of our lives, and the stress that comes along with it, that maybe we're not doing such a bad job.

Yesterday Matthew drew a picture of us, as a family.(and, since when can he draw people???).
To me it was a pretty amazing moment.
I've posted it below, but feel free to enlarge it. Matt explained it to me in detail.
It's Mommy and Daddy holding hands because we love each other. Matthew is holding Daddy's hand because I have a baby in my tummy.



So, maybe I'm not perfect all the time. But, if this is how Matt views his family I think we're doing pretty well.

Happy New Year's everyone!!!

New Year's Resolution ... Check!

It's that time of year to make some New Year's Resolutions.
In the past I've always done the typical lose weight, exercise more, stay organized, etc. The truth is, I usually fail.
I think the worst one was when I decided to cut out chocolate. Completely. That lasted about 2 hours.
Last year I got smart.
I decided to have a fun resolution. One that I would embrace and enjoy. My resolution: to wear jewelry every day. I'm happy to report I did really well. I have a fun collection of costume jewelry and I tried mixing it up and staying colourful. It was fun.
And, as the year ends I feel a sense of accomplishment.
So this year I decided to come up with something equally fun and achievable.
Want to know what I'm doing?
Instead of buying all my books I am going to the library.
Novel idea, eh? (ha ha ha.)
Seriously. I started to calculate how much money I spend on books. Considering I read about 2 books per week on the GO train, it really adds up. And it's inconvenient to always run to the bookstore.
I hate to admit that I've lived in this town for just over a year and I have never been to our local library. So, I googled it and discovered there is a library that I can walk to.
It's in a little plaza across from a Starbucks.
So ... basically the money I will save on buying books will be spent on getting lattes. Just kidding!
Today I took Matthew to get library cards. Not only did I get us some free books, they also have a really good play area where I can read and Matt can play. Why didn't I think of this earlier????
Now don't get me wrong. It's not that I'll never go back to the bookstore. There are some books that are totally worth picking up.
But, I'm going to save my money for the stuff I really want, and get some library books for the in-between.
So ... what are your resolutions?

A Merry Christmas

Christmas was wonderful.
Santa came ... and brought Matthew a red light sabre



Mike and I were both spoiled as well: Mike with new Ray Bans, me with a Coach purse and a bassinet for the baby.

We spent time with family.





And now we will rest, and shop and generally relax.

Normal blogging will resume shortly. For now I'm enjoying my time away from the computer.

Enjoy your holidays everyone!!!!

Christmas Spirit

It's quiet this morning.
Matthew spent the night at my sister's since Mike and I went to his work Christmas party last night. It was a wonderful evening. We spent most of the evening with his good friend from work who is a friend from university, and his wife. It was really nice to chat with someone who has a similar parenting philosophy as me (especially since her profession is working with children) and enjoying an evening away from kids.
Somehow we got onto the topic of working full-time, having kids, and keeping the house clean.
She said to me "I figure my kids will just grow up to be really agile since they are so adept at stepping around their toys."
It's comments like that that make me think that yes, this is someone who is welcome in my home anytime.
But really, it was nice to get dressed up and enjoy a lovely dinner. Okay, so granted I didn't make it through the dinner because it was so rich and filling, but Mike was more than happy to finish what I couldn't.
And this morning I slept in! I didn't get up till 7am! Considering I've been wide awake at 4 am everyday for the last few months, 7 am was quite the extravagance. And, I've been spoiled watching all my Sunday morning news programs and haven't watched ONE MINUTE of Treehouse.
And what have I done while watching tv? I've been wrapping gifts.
I've gone to great lengths to make sure that Matt doesn't find his gifts, but I realized I also had to hide special wrapping paper and find a time to wrap presents while he wasn't around - not an easy task since he never naps and we tend to go to bed at the same time these days.
Luckily I had some time this morning so I am done.
We still have to go battery shopping though. Last year we forgot to pick up batteries and so on Christmas morning a couple of didn't work. This year I remembered, so as I wrapped I made a note of what batteries everything takes. I even remembered the batteries for the toy I bought my niece. SMART!
And with all of this stuff out of the way we're spending the next couple of days enjoying the season.
This morning we're meeting my sister and parents at a bakery and then we're going to get our house in good shape.
Tomorrow, for Christmas Eve morning, I'm taking Matt on a GO train ride to Toronto, and we're going to go and check out the windows downtown Toronto. I have to admit that even though I work in Toronto, downtown no less, I never take the time to go and see all of the Christmas windows and the beautiful trees at Nathan Philips Square. So, the plan is to take a couple of hours to just enjoy some Christmas.
Truthfully I'd rather drive in, but Matthew loves taking the train, and I know it will be a fun ride.
In the early evening we are going to take Matthew to a kids' church service. As wonderful as it is to talk about Santa, it's important to me that Matt also understands the true meaning of Christmas and understand what the spirit of Christmas is truly about.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be blogging before Christmas.
So to all my friends ...


Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and that Santa is kind to you all!

One More Day of Work

I'm counting down the minutes, I must admit.
I'm so ready for Christmas. I'm ready to stay up late (okay, in my world these days that's 10) and sleep in till at least 7! I'm ready to go to a Christmas party on Saturday night. I'm ready to wrap presents and start baking and cooking.
I'm ready for Christmas cheer.
I have been trying hard to tie some stuff up at work for my week off. I know it's not a long time off, but I hate leaving stuff for other's to sort out.
Luckily everything seems to be working out so far which means that come Friday afternoon I'm turning my blackberry off (or at least only checking it every few hours) and taking a holiday!
Today Matt's letter from Santa arrived. It was so cute and Matt was thrilled that Santa wrote him a letter. It was pretty sweet with a personalized note and everything.

Of course with the upcoming season I've been thinking about the past and toward the future. It's my first Christmas without my Grandma. Last year she wasn't doing that great, and we were sad for her. So, even though this year I'll be missing her, I know that she and Grandpa are with us in spirit. I keep thinking about how this year my cousin's baby is almost one. Last year she was just days away from giving birth. Now this year I'm the one who's pregnant, though thankfully (hopefully?) more than a few days away from giving birth!

But, I'm also looking forward. I can't believe that next year's Christmas pictures will include another member of the family. It seems a little crazy to me right now. The last few Christmases have centered around Matthew and making it magical for him. I'm so excited to share this with another baby.

The Christmas fun starts tonight. My good friend (and who am I kidding, someone Matt LOVES) is coming over. It's our first chance to let someone sample our Christmas goodies and matt's sooooo excited to give her the gift that he helped to make. It's all very exciting.

Five days to go!

Less Than a Week

And we are ready for Christmas.

Thanks to a fellow blogger and Star Wars fan we were able to get Matt's final Christmas gift ... a red light sabre.

The funny thing is, this isn't a terribly expensive gift. It's a $10 toy, but he has been asking Santa for it non-stop. And, no matter how hard I looked the stores were sold out. So, I was more than thrilled when I got a phone call saying one had been located.

And, thanks everyone for looking.

Tonight we also finished up our daycare gifts. Well, almost. We ran out of cellophane, but other than that we are done. Matthew made cards for each of his teachers and then I wrote personal messages. It was kind of fun asking him what is special about each teacher. One sings good songs, another reads good books, another is a good hugger. And, then there is one, a substitute teacher for a month who "isn't a teacher. She's just a person." So, I had to be creative with that one. But, all in all I feel like the teachers will know they are loved and appreciated both by us and by Matthew. And, that's what Christmas is all about.

-----------

Tomorrow I go for my last OB appointment before Christmas. I've had lots of doctors appointments over the past couple of weeks (just various tests, etc), but I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Lately everything has felt a lot more real to me. I'm definitely looking pregnant and feeling pregnant. And, this baby is moving around a lot. We've also been debating names AGAIN. See why we keep the name thing a secret? The name we loved now we just like and we have moved on to a name we love more.

The thing I find funny is that when I'm making lists of names, most of the names are variations of names that I gave various dolls growing up. In fact, if we stick with the name we have chosen, it's just a reversal of one of my favourite doll names ever. Trust me - this wasn't a conscious decision. It just is. (this will now drive my sister crazy because she knows all my doll's names).

Is it me - or are we feeling the Christmas spirit these days?

Best Friends

The other day we asked Matthew who his best friend is.
Of course his answer was first Kyla (his cousin), but then I asked if he had any other best friend.
His answer was Austin, a friend of his at daycare.
It's pretty cute because he talks about Austin. All.The.Time.
If we ask him what he did during the day it's always "me and Austin ..."
He and Austin sit together at snack and lunch. They colour together when it's colouring time. They play together outside.
He gets along with a lot of the other kids, but it seems that he and Austin are a team. They are close in age, they like the same things (Diego, Transformers, Lightning McQueen) and they seem to have a really similar attitude. Both are "all boy" in many ways. They can be a little rough and sometimes wrestle.
One day Austin cut Matt's hair. Another day Matt closed Austin's finger in the (toy) microwave. If there's any sort of accident report we know who the other child involved was.
But, there's never any malice. They are just playing.
And, the thing is, I really like Austin too.
His parents have the same attitude we do. Boys will be boys, but you have to draw the line. It's not a big deal if they come home covered in paint, have done some silly crazy thing during the day, or been a little rough with each other. But, stuff like swearing, hurting each other, and general bad behaviour is not okay. (though I have to admit that his mom and I were laughing one night about some of the words they call each other, and how we have to try not to giggle when they try out certain words).

Last night I went to pick up Matt. Just he and Austin were there, and they were colouring. I was chatting with them, and they both drew me a picture. After a few minutes it was time to leave. Mike and I were talking to matt's teacher, and we realized that Matt and Austin were saying goodbye.

It was adorable.

Austin came over and gave Matt a hug.
Matt kissed Austin on the cheek.

Then Austin whispered to Matt "don't forget we have to be good."
And Matt said to him "yes. we know Santa is watching us."

It was the CUTEST thing ever. I hope they never lose this innocence.

It's all fun and games ...

Till the snow buries your child's beloved snowman.
Sadly, last night when we were tucking Matt into bed he started sobbing. He had named his beloved snowman "Mr. Matthew Snowman" and after all the snow we got yesterday poor old Mr. Matthew Snowman was completely buried.
As were the little lightbulb lights we stick in the snow and our reindeer.
In fact, Matthew was so upset that we needed to take action.
Mike went out in the snow and had to dig out Mr. Matthew Snowman and our reindeer.
It was bad enough when raccoons ate the poor snowman's mouth and nose.
This was inexcusable.
So far today there has been very little snow, so we're assuming we will come home to an intact snowman.
I keep reminding myself that at least it will be a white Christmas.

Snow Day!

I awoke this morning to the sounds of ploughs driving up our street.

And, like a little kid I ran to the window to see just how much snow we got. It wasn't the 20 inches or whatever was predicted. It was more like 5 cm. But, it's snow. And it's beautiful. And, if it stays like this we will have a white Christmas!

There's lots that we could do today.

We were planning to visit a friend to return something of his (no biggie to pop it in the mail). We had debated driving to visit my grandfather (we would have called him today - so he won't be disappointed by us not coming). But, considering that the roads are supposed to be crappy and we are all a little tired from planning for Christmas, we are declaring a snow day!

Matt wants to make his snowman bigger. We need to shovel the walk. I love taking pictures in the fresh snow. We may even let Rosie play in the snow for a couple of minutes. (I know indoor cats should stay inside, but I'm sure letting her run out to sniff the white stuff is perfectly okay).

Yesterday I made some Christmas cookies that have chilled overnight. And I am going to see how they turned out. We have all the stuff for rice krispie squares and I've promised Matt that we can make some.

All in all it's going to be a fun, quiet day.

Luckily I stocked up on hot chocolate so we can enjoy a yummy cup while watching a Christmas movie and cuddling on the couch. Sometime in there I may take a nap or write a couple more christmas cards.

What we're not doing is worrying about Christmas gifts not yet purchased, rooms that need to be tidied before we have visitors on Christmas or last minute stocking stuffers that really should be purchased at the last minute.

Sure there are lots of Christmas memories yet to be made this year, but when I think back to when I was little, the one thing that stands out in my mind was watching White Christmas, drinking hot chocolate out of our Santa cups, with candy cane stirsticks and opening one of the many boxes of chocolates my dad got as a gift (and being allowed to take a bite of a chocolate and if we didn't like it putting it back in the box for my dad to later eat).

I have a feeling that today will be one of those days to remember.

10 Days Till Christmas

I LOVE Christmas, and I can't believe that it's only 10 days away.
The countdown is on in our house.
We've decorated and most of our gifts are bought. Let me clarify, I've bought everything except for the daycare teacher gifts. And, the only reason I haven't bought those gifts is because I have no idea who Matt's teachers are. One teacher just got back from maternity and the replacement teacher (who has been there a month) is leaving. We're just not exactly sure when that will be.
So ...
That makes gift giving hard.
But, we'll sort it out.
Other than that I'm done. And, now I've moved on to the final touches.
Though I decided not to bake today, I did decide on one recipe to try (thanks to MTM who actually knew what cookie I was talking about when I sent a desperate e-mail trying to figure it out). And I'm trying that today.
I also decided to invite my nieces over today.
We have some gifts for my sister and brother-in-law that the girls want to wrap, and I've decided to make some sort of craft, though I have no idea.
So, I'm thinking an early morning shopping trip to Walmart is in order. The one near us is now open 24 hours, and since I doubt that either of my boys will be up for at least a couple of hours, I am thinking I may get dressed and go scope out some craft stuff, get my recipe ingedients and see if I can find the final stocking stuffers for Mike.
But, as for Mike ...
Wanna know what gifts he is responsible for? Mine. Just mine.
And guess what? He hasn't done his shopping yet. I have kindly sent him some suggestions, but he still has to hit the malls. He hates crowds and he hates malls, but what can you do? I think he's shopping today. While I craft with the kids.
And then we should be done :)
Until I come up with some other crazy Christmas idea that we have to accomplish.
Seriously, it's not even 6:30 ... it's kind of a hassle that I haven't been able to sleep in this pregnancy, but when you wake up at 4 am, you can get a lot of Christmas stuff accomplished.

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow SNOW

Tonight was the perfect night to make the fist snowman of the season.





That's Mr. Snowman to you!



Matt informed us that this means Santa is soon on his way. It's true. One more week of work/daycare and then it's time for Santa. I think I'm almost as excited as Matthew is.

PS Santa is still looking for a RED Light Sabre ... any ideas? (I have it on good authority that he was only able to find purple and green!)

Lobsters

Tonight we went to Red Lobster.
Here's the thing: I don't particularly like fish.
I don't really mind fish and chips when I can't taste the fish. I will occasionally eat salmon if my dad is barbequing it.
But other than that - yuck!
I don't even like caesar salad if you can taste anchovy paste.
It's not for lack of trying on my parents' part. They used to buy some sort of white fish and try to hide it in stuff. Sometimes they would try to hide it in a stir fry. But, really it wasn't a hit. (and, to be honest, I think they were quite happy not to serve us fish since they didn't love it either)
However.
Matthew loves fish.
He is constantly asking for fish and "charger" sauce (tarter sauce). They introduced it at the day care recently and Matt thinks it is delicious.
And somehow he learned about Red Lobster.
He's asked many many times to go there, and tonight we decided to bring him. He was in a good mood, and asked to go out for dinner, and trust me, he rarely wants to go to a restaurant. So we went.
It was a really fun experience.
The hostess at our Red Lobster should really work with kids. She was super with him. She actually took a lobster out of the tank and taught us all about lobsters. It was pretty interesting, even if I was alternating between hiding behind my husband and pulling Matt back so the lobster wouldn't bite him.
But, really, she told us all about lobsters, and even put the lobster on the floor and let Matt pet it.
Dinner was great too.
Matt was super well behaved. I'm not sure what came over him, but he listened to us and was quiet and just generally good. He was thrilled with his fish dinner. And, all the staff kept coming and talking to him.
And best of all, he left with lots of lobster paraphernalia.
The only problem is that I REALLY don't like fish, so I don't think we'll go back too often. I mean really, I had sole for dinner. I was being adventurous. And YUCK! Not my favourite. But all in all it was pretty fun.
And I know a whole lot more about lobsters now. (I even know how to tell the difference between a male and female)

The BEST Christmas Concert Ever!

Friday night was Matt's daycare Christmas concert.
I never post video of him on here. There are 2 good reasons for this. First, I don't know how. Second, we don't own a video camera. We just have the little video thing on our camera.
After Friday night we have decided we need to get a video camera before this new baby comes! But, for now I give you a brief glance of Matt singing his heart out at the daycare concert.
A couple things to notice:

1) I TOLD you Matt is a handful. This is my child having not had sugar all day.
2) You have to watch how relaxed the teachers are. This is why I knew this is the daycare for us. While Matt was performing his teacher and I were giggling. They don't put up with bad behaviour, but kids being kids ... that's what daycare is all about!

In case you didn't guess, Matthew is the one in the green and white striped sweater.



This video goes to show that while Matthew looks EXACTLY like his dad, he managed to get a whole lot of my personality.

Broadway, here we come!

Oh Christmas Tree!

Great news!!!
Our house now smells like pine. We got our Christmas tree yesterday.
We didn't exactly go to a tree farm. We went to Ikea. But, what's not to love about a $20 tree? Especially when you get a gift certificate for $20 (with a minimum purchase) for the New Year.
I love it!
Unfortunately I've discovered that I have a new bizarre allergy to trees! Seriously. My allergies go into overdrive when I'm pregnant. After sitting in the living room with my new tree for 10 minutes and going through 10 kleenex, I realized that there better be some Benadryl in my stocking!!!!
We're actually doing really well when it comes to Christmas stuff. We have bought most of our gifts. We just have stockings to go. And a light Sabre. (why is my 3 year old suddenly obsessed with Star Wars??)
It's beginning o look like christmas at our house!

First Pictures

I went for a quick 3D Ultrasound today.
The only word to describe it is AMAZING.
Here are my first pictures of my little baby. And, I now know for sure that it's a girl!




I didn't do this with Matthew because I kind of thought that the pictures looked like aliens. But, I went today because I wanted to confirm gender. And then it was this amazing experience. AMAZING!

We're going back in 6 weeks. It's that great. Everything seems so incredibly real now. Usually ultrasounds kinda look like blobs to me, but today I saw a baby. Sixteen weeks to go .... Suddenly I can't wait.

My Glamorous Life

GLAMOROUS: full of glamour, excitingly attractive

-----------------

I debated this post for quite awhile. Usually I just write whatever is on my mind, whether it's happy or sad, good or bad. Some of what I say about myself is positive, but there's also the negative. I think that's balance.
And, I truly believe that if you want to be a better person you need to see both the good and the bad in yourself.
For the most part there are things I love about myself. I'm lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, a fantastic family and great colleagues. I am incredibly blessed to have a child who, in my opinion, is the most fabulous child in the entire world.
I like my job. Not every day is perfect. But, I've worked hard to get where I am, and if the feedback I get is any indication I'm doing alright. (except, of course, for my messy desk.)
As wonderful as all of this is, I work at it. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good sister, friend, colleague and most of all mother. If I hurt someone I apologize. I work on friendships.
And, above all I'm loyal.
It really really bugs me when people switch sides constantly. I think everyone has been on the receiving end of a friendship that has been dumped when someone "cooler" comes along. I'll be the first to admit that I've done that in the past. But, to me, being a true friend is about sticking by someone. Even if that hurts your reputation.
So far, in life, that has worked for me.
And, the longer I've been blogging the more I've realized that this translates to the blog world. Granted I don't think all the bloggers whose blogs I visit are my "friends". But, if someone has made a difference in my life, and if I like his or her writing, then by all means I'm going to stay loyal to that blogger.
So, why am I saying that?
Because I'm tired of being mocked for loyalty to a specific blogger. (It all started with this and then this)
For those of you who have read my blog very long you'll know that I really respect a specific writer/blogger. I've written about her in the past - and I've been open about how great I think she is.
That hasn't changed.
But, she has critics. And they are nasty. And, as time goes on, as much as they like to mock her, they have become really cruel to me.
And, the dumb thing is, the only reason that I do reply on that blog occasionally is because sometimes I think they are being too vicious and nasty, and whether or not the person they are being nasty to cares, reads it or never responds, I sometimes do say something because if it were me I would want someone in my corner.
That's who I am.
Whether or not that person cares, I do.
But, I've had it. I'm tired of reading comments that are mean for no reason. I'm tired of being judged. It makes me sick when people say that my blog is more boring to read than watching paint dry. It bothers me that people joke about who the father of my "love child" is.
In all honesty, I'm pregnant, and I've been sick for months, and there are days when making it through the day without crying is an accomplishment. And, to go read unnecessary and unwarranted criticism about me that is only posted so that a bunch of losers can read their own jokes and laugh ... NO THANKS.

After this - I'm done. And, this is what they think is funny. I don't.
The comment that bugs me the most is this. It bothers me because it is so incorrect.

"Re the question about (Laural). She's a mommy blogger, and she's been psychoanalyzed quite thoroughly by previous commentors. Low self esteem. Unglamorous life. Fantasy projection."

So, to that person, and to anyone else who reads this blog I have this to say. I'm happy. I sleep at night because I am happy with my life and everything in it. My blog is about my life. And, I am a fallible person who admits her week points. If you think that's low self esteem. whatever.
But as for an unglamorous life - consult a dictionary. To me my life is "excitingly attractive". I love and am loved. I'm not quite sure what else I could ask for.
And as for "fantasy projection" ... what's to project? No one's life is perfect. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for what I have, I'm grateful for what I'm working towards. This is what I dreamed of. Sure I have goals and dreams and hopes. That's what propels me through life.
But, if you're reading this blog to mock me. And if you think that because I'm comfortable with my imperfections it means I need to be psychoanalysed you're wrong. Life is what you make it and to me life is beautiful.

I Can Hear!!!

Seriously, after a million home remedies, I can finally hear again.
It's a little touch and go.
My ears keep popping. One minute I can hear - the next I can't. But thankfully for the past hour I have actually been able to hear with both of my ears. It has been a full week since my ear has been clogged - so this is huge.

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In other news, I'm almost done my Christmas shopping.
On the weekend I got Mike's Christmas gift. He's the hardest person on my list to shop for. And, he also tries to guess his gifts in advance.
There will be no clues here. But, let's just say I think he'll be pleasantly surprised. And I'm pretty excited.

On top of that I finished shopping for my sister tonight. I actually was done, but then I got a moment of inspiration and had to go back out to get one more thing.

This leaves me in pretty good shape. I still have daycare gifts to buy, but I usually get those at the last minute. And I know what I'm getting. The first of my presents will sort of be delivered this weekend because my in-laws are taking my gifts for my sister in law and her boyfriend. Because they are travelling with the gifts we don't get to wrap them. That kind of sucks, but what can you do?

As Matt said in the van tonight "hurry up, Christmas!" I'm beginning to feel the same way. I'm ready!!!!

The Ear Bone's Connected to the ...

To what?
Oh nothing.
Does anyone know much about the ear? Cause apparently I do not.
On Saturday, after a lengthy shopping trip with my sister we went to Shoppers Drug Mart. I have this stupid nagging ear issue, which can apparently be fixed with an over-the-counter remedy that you put in your ears for 15 minutes and then drain out with water.
(no, hydrogen peroxide hasn't worked. Nor has vinegar)
So, I had little consult with the pharmacist.
He showed me the product he recommended, and explained you put it in your ear. You stick a cotton ball in to plug it and then 15 minutes later you get a syringe, fill it with water and rinse your ear out. Then let it drain.
Sounds easy enough.
Except ...
I did not understand that ears are not connected.

I truly believed that if I put the goo in my right ear (or my deaf ear) it would all drain out the left ear. So, I was trying to figure out which ear I should put the cotton in and which ear I should hold a bowl under when Mike was rinsing my ear.
Stupidly I asked the pharmicist these questions.
He was baffled.
My sister was baffled.
And then at the same moment both the pharmacist and my sister, who apparently paid far more attention in science than I ever did started laughing.
The pharmacist, who was trying to maintain some manner of professionalism, nicely said that unlike what I may have seen on television, ears are not connected that way.
Wow!
Thank goodness I didn't go into medicine :)

But seriously - does anyone know how to get rid of ear wax? I've never had this problem before and it's driving me crazy.