Wednesday, December 05, 2007

My Glamorous Life

GLAMOROUS: full of glamour, excitingly attractive

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I debated this post for quite awhile. Usually I just write whatever is on my mind, whether it's happy or sad, good or bad. Some of what I say about myself is positive, but there's also the negative. I think that's balance.
And, I truly believe that if you want to be a better person you need to see both the good and the bad in yourself.
For the most part there are things I love about myself. I'm lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, a fantastic family and great colleagues. I am incredibly blessed to have a child who, in my opinion, is the most fabulous child in the entire world.
I like my job. Not every day is perfect. But, I've worked hard to get where I am, and if the feedback I get is any indication I'm doing alright. (except, of course, for my messy desk.)
As wonderful as all of this is, I work at it. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good sister, friend, colleague and most of all mother. If I hurt someone I apologize. I work on friendships.
And, above all I'm loyal.
It really really bugs me when people switch sides constantly. I think everyone has been on the receiving end of a friendship that has been dumped when someone "cooler" comes along. I'll be the first to admit that I've done that in the past. But, to me, being a true friend is about sticking by someone. Even if that hurts your reputation.
So far, in life, that has worked for me.
And, the longer I've been blogging the more I've realized that this translates to the blog world. Granted I don't think all the bloggers whose blogs I visit are my "friends". But, if someone has made a difference in my life, and if I like his or her writing, then by all means I'm going to stay loyal to that blogger.
So, why am I saying that?
Because I'm tired of being mocked for loyalty to a specific blogger. (It all started with this and then this)
For those of you who have read my blog very long you'll know that I really respect a specific writer/blogger. I've written about her in the past - and I've been open about how great I think she is.
That hasn't changed.
But, she has critics. And they are nasty. And, as time goes on, as much as they like to mock her, they have become really cruel to me.
And, the dumb thing is, the only reason that I do reply on that blog occasionally is because sometimes I think they are being too vicious and nasty, and whether or not the person they are being nasty to cares, reads it or never responds, I sometimes do say something because if it were me I would want someone in my corner.
That's who I am.
Whether or not that person cares, I do.
But, I've had it. I'm tired of reading comments that are mean for no reason. I'm tired of being judged. It makes me sick when people say that my blog is more boring to read than watching paint dry. It bothers me that people joke about who the father of my "love child" is.
In all honesty, I'm pregnant, and I've been sick for months, and there are days when making it through the day without crying is an accomplishment. And, to go read unnecessary and unwarranted criticism about me that is only posted so that a bunch of losers can read their own jokes and laugh ... NO THANKS.

After this - I'm done. And, this is what they think is funny. I don't.
The comment that bugs me the most is this. It bothers me because it is so incorrect.

"Re the question about (Laural). She's a mommy blogger, and she's been psychoanalyzed quite thoroughly by previous commentors. Low self esteem. Unglamorous life. Fantasy projection."

So, to that person, and to anyone else who reads this blog I have this to say. I'm happy. I sleep at night because I am happy with my life and everything in it. My blog is about my life. And, I am a fallible person who admits her week points. If you think that's low self esteem. whatever.
But as for an unglamorous life - consult a dictionary. To me my life is "excitingly attractive". I love and am loved. I'm not quite sure what else I could ask for.
And as for "fantasy projection" ... what's to project? No one's life is perfect. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for what I have, I'm grateful for what I'm working towards. This is what I dreamed of. Sure I have goals and dreams and hopes. That's what propels me through life.
But, if you're reading this blog to mock me. And if you think that because I'm comfortable with my imperfections it means I need to be psychoanalysed you're wrong. Life is what you make it and to me life is beautiful.

11 comments:

AndreAnna said...

Wow, I had no idea any of this was going on. I tend to stay away from all drama - in real life and online. I just don't have the energy or the heart for it.

I don't know much about Rebecca Eckler, nor have I read her blog or her books, so I can't form an opinion on her. And if this is what surrounds it, I really have no interest in her.

But I do "know" you and know you are kind and thoughtful and have a good heart. You love your child, your family, and your life - and I get that. Isn't that what's important?

SciFi Dad said...

I read to laugh at the stuff Matt says and does. Is that OK? ;)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

The reality is that they do it for a reaction, like all bloggers do. And while I understand and support your need to vent, this is just encouraging them. Ultimately, it will stop when you stop caring. They go after other bloggers you know (I won't get into it here; email me if you want) who just ignore it.

I know it's hard, but try.

LoriD said...

I'll never understand how some people can take such pleasure in running down someone else, just because they have a difference of opinion.

Mean, petty people seem to have a lot of time on their hands.

I loved it when you said in one of your comments that "Anonymous" was someone you would never associate with in real life. That's exactly what I was thinking as I read through it!

MamaLee said...

It's easy to let people like that get to you. Focus on the good, and ignore those fruitcakes. They are just trying to get a rise outta ya.

And I love ya, so THERE.

xoxo

lettuce said...

I can't believe what losers are out there, saying horrible & hurtful things on your blog!

Your blog makes me feel HUMAN. I'm not pregnant nor do I have children (unless you count my husband) but somedays, I feel like it's an achievement just to make it through the day without crying! Keep writing - I look forward to reading every chance I get!

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

I know it's super hard, but try not feel like you EVER have to rationalize your blog, your writing style, your life, your feelings....you get what I'm talking about.
You are you. You are honest, loyal and open and those are three VERY respectable traits to have! They are also unique, because many people don't have that.
I'm glad you are comfortable in your own skin--as you should be! Try not to let what others have to say change that.

Amy said...

Good for you Laural!
I didn't realize they were still going after you, disgusting. But yes, you have an amazing family, friends and job and you know how much I adore Mr. Matty so yes, you indeed have a fabulous life and should be proud of it! :)

Anonymous said...

You can't post on someone else's blog and then insist that you get only positive responses. If you stop posting there, I'll bet you a set of the complete works of Eckler that they'll stop talking about you right quick. And if you get this worked up about it, especially given that you're pregnant, back away from the offending website. Life's too short, don't waste your energy crying and getting upset over a group of people who, I assure you, couldn't care less either way.

Kristen said...

Aw sweetie, I don't know anything about any of this, but I love to come here and visit. You always bring a smile or a tear. You are beautiful inside and out:)

Laural Dawn said...

Anonymous
I agree - and I am completely aware that if I comment on NGB I can fully expect reciprocal comments.
However, to clarify, I did not start it.
If you go back and read the entire trail (why you would bother is beyond me) you would see that the reason I ever said anything was because I was made fun of for commenting on NPD.
That is how it started.
And, it took an awfully long time, and a couple of very specific comments to make me upset.
I actually do think some of the stuff is funny.
Funny is fine, cruel is not.

Karen MEG said...

Wow, Laural, I haven't stopped by in a while as I've been crazy busy with stuff.. your posts are always so pleasant, and normal, and it does seem like you live a very happy, fantastic life. I mean, you have an opinion and everything, but it's always with the utmost grace ... I can't imagine you getting such cruel comments. But I'm glad that you're choosing not to let them get to you... totally not worth it.
I haven't read any of Rebecca's stuff, although it looks like a good read.
I've only had a couple of weird negative comments on my blog, and they were surprising too. It does tend to get personal, especially when it's on your own blog!