GLAMOROUS: full of glamour, excitingly attractive
I debated this post for quite awhile. Usually I just write whatever is on my mind, whether it's happy or sad, good or bad. Some of what I say about myself is positive, but there's also the negative. I think that's balance.
And, I truly believe that if you want to be a better person you need to see both the good and the bad in yourself.
For the most part there are things I love about myself. I'm lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, a fantastic family and great colleagues. I am incredibly blessed to have a child who, in my opinion, is the most fabulous child in the entire world.
I like my job. Not every day is perfect. But, I've worked hard to get where I am, and if the feedback I get is any indication I'm doing alright. (except, of course, for my messy desk.)
As wonderful as all of this is, I work at it. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty good sister, friend, colleague and most of all mother. If I hurt someone I apologize. I work on friendships.
And, above all I'm loyal.
It really really bugs me when people switch sides constantly. I think everyone has been on the receiving end of a friendship that has been dumped when someone "cooler" comes along. I'll be the first to admit that I've done that in the past. But, to me, being a true friend is about sticking by someone. Even if that hurts your reputation.
So far, in life, that has worked for me.
And, the longer I've been blogging the more I've realized that this translates to the blog world. Granted I don't think all the bloggers whose blogs I visit are my "friends". But, if someone has made a difference in my life, and if I like his or her writing, then by all means I'm going to stay loyal to that blogger.
So, why am I saying that?
Because I'm tired of being mocked for loyalty to a specific blogger. (It all started with this and then this)
For those of you who have read my blog very long you'll know that I really respect a specific writer/blogger. I've written about her in the past - and I've been open about how great I think she is.
That hasn't changed.
But, she has critics. And they are nasty. And, as time goes on, as much as they like to mock her, they have become really cruel to me.
And, the dumb thing is, the only reason that I do reply on that blog occasionally is because sometimes I think they are being too vicious and nasty, and whether or not the person they are being nasty to cares, reads it or never responds, I sometimes do say something because if it were me I would want someone in my corner.
That's who I am.
Whether or not that person cares, I do.
But, I've had it. I'm tired of reading comments that are mean for no reason. I'm tired of being judged. It makes me sick when people say that my blog is more boring to read than watching paint dry. It bothers me that people joke about who the father of my "love child" is.
In all honesty, I'm pregnant, and I've been sick for months, and there are days when making it through the day without crying is an accomplishment. And, to go read unnecessary and unwarranted criticism about me that is only posted so that a bunch of losers can read their own jokes and laugh ... NO THANKS.
After this - I'm done. And, this is what they think is funny. I don't.
The comment that bugs me the most is this. It bothers me because it is so incorrect.
"Re the question about (Laural). She's a mommy blogger, and she's been psychoanalyzed quite thoroughly by previous commentors. Low self esteem. Unglamorous life. Fantasy projection."
So, to that person, and to anyone else who reads this blog I have this to say. I'm happy. I sleep at night because I am happy with my life and everything in it. My blog is about my life. And, I am a fallible person who admits her week points. If you think that's low self esteem. whatever.
But as for an unglamorous life - consult a dictionary. To me my life is "excitingly attractive". I love and am loved. I'm not quite sure what else I could ask for.
And as for "fantasy projection" ... what's to project? No one's life is perfect. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. But at the end of the day I'm grateful for what I have, I'm grateful for what I'm working towards. This is what I dreamed of. Sure I have goals and dreams and hopes. That's what propels me through life.
But, if you're reading this blog to mock me. And if you think that because I'm comfortable with my imperfections it means I need to be psychoanalysed you're wrong. Life is what you make it and to me life is beautiful.