Monday, April 07, 2008

I Survived Day One

As any new parent will tell you, the first day that your spouse goes back to work after the birth of a baby is a little daunting.
When Matthew was born I was terrified. I clearly remember the day before. Mike drove us to pick up some necessary supplies at the drugstore and then we decided to get lattes from Starbucks. Since it was a busy day I stayed in the car with Matt while Mike got the lattes, and Matt started screaming which quickly turned into crying. By the time Mike returned to the car I was in tears also. By the time we got home I was pretty much panicked about being alone with an infant all day, and Mike was more than a little worried about leaving me alone.
I've told the story about a million times, about how that first day I was home alone, my neighbour came over and introduced herself, and in the end it all worked out okay.
That same neighbour (who now no longer a neighbour, but is a very close friend) sent me an e-mail last week telling me it will be okay this time.
And, today was that first day.
Okay, so granted Mike came home at lunch, both my mom and sister were by, and I have a calmer baby. But still...
It was weird.
The day started off a little rough with Chloe actually crying a LOT because she was a little under the weather. (she's fine).
But, I felt lonely.
I can't really go out to any mommy groups right now. Physically, the c-section is still taking its toll and I'm exhausted.
Emotionally I'm still kind of up and down. Like, when I tried to read Chloe's birth announcement to Matthew I started to cry. I'm not quite ready to meet new people when I'm just a couple steps away from an emotional meltdown at any given moment. How crazy is it that when I tell people that Chloe is a good nurser my eyes water. Forget about trying to announce that Matthew just turned 4. It's a little ridiculous.
So, for now, Chloe and I are getting reacquainted with our friends Regis and Kelly, Rachael Ray, Oprah and of course Marilyn Dennis (why is it that both Matthew and Chloe can sit transfixed and watch Brian Gluckstein for an entire hour of Cityline????).
The good news is I'm learning a lot. For instance, did you know it's not the end of the world if you don't have 8 glasses of water every day? Or how about if you cut out a tablespoon of butter everyday you could lose 2 lbs in 10 weeks. And, did you know Kathy Lee Gifford host the 4th hour of the Today Show? It's true. I didn't even know that there was a 4th hour of the today show. I've discovered that Valerie Bertinelli REALLY annoys me (almost as much as Marie Osmond) and that Whoopi Goldberg has no fashion sense.
Okay, really, I can't wait till I can get out and about more.
But at least I made it through day 1 and it only gets easier from here... right?


Anonymous said...

Ah!! Sounds exactly like my days at home, although my child won't sit through any kind of TV so we often venture outside for an hour or two in the mornings. I still get excited when I have made it through another day with Ken at work. And I too am well aquainted with Oprah and Marilyn. :) And I completely understand the tears, I too am having a better time with nursing and it still suprises me each time I can feed without pain!! Congrats on your first day and I would totally be there with latte if I were closer!

AndreAnna said...

It WILL get better and one day you'll wonder where the time went.

Ginny said...

Hey, way to go! I knew you could and would do it!!
You know you say you're not ready to meet new people because you are a couple of steps away from an emotional meltdown but that is exactly what I did!! And I never really put two and two together until I read this post that my crazy, postpartum, hormonal emotions caused me to breakdown that day. What a weird realization!! You MUST have thought I was totally crazy LOL but I've said it before and I'll say it again, it was probably the best thing I did that day!
You know as I get older and I think back over certain things/times in my life I realize how lucky I am to have had people step into my life at specific moments and leave their footprints. Having a baby and all the scares and joys it brings is such an emotional time but these people (and some I don't even know their names) are people I will never forget.
It's all baby steps Laural (no pun intended!). One day at a time for now. I know it was only your first day but be sure in the near future you don't let the possibility of a major meltdown stop you from doing things, you might just find the support you really need!!

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

I remember that overwhelming feeling of being alone as well. You did it though and you are fine and you will be fine.
Enjoy this relaxing time!

citygirl said...

You will be great! You've been through it all before and you will make it again with flying colours! Personally, I'd be terrified to be alone with a baby for 5 minutes! hahahhahaa!!

Leece said...

You are hilarious. You need to write a book. I'm totally serious!