Friday Evening Fun

Last night we went to the Annual Midnight Madness event that takes in the town I grew up in. (Our city's neighbour).
It's a fun event. They close down all the downtown streets, the stores are open, there's a sidewalk sale, there's tons of food booths and activities. It's a big party, there are a million people. It's a fun, though crazy event.
The highlight of the evening for us? There was a firetruck there. And, they were offering rides in the aerial extension part of the truck - you know the thing the fire fighters ride in to get to the top of buildings. Mike saw this from a mile away and said Matty would love it. True. So we went over. And waited for about 45 minutes.
We told Matthew about 20 times that it was a long wait, but he was quite determined to stay in line. So we did. It was the first time that I've seen him be so patient about something. He had a blast waiting. He was chatting with another little boy ("Maybe we'll go so high up we'll be in space?" and "Maybe we'll be taller than dinosaurs" were my favourite discussions).
And then we made it to the front of the line. By the time I got there I was wondering how much we would have to pay. But it was FREE! Awesome.
Because Matthew is little (and because he was technically too little but I somehow got around that) one of his parents had to go up with him. I'm not quite sure how it was decided that parent should be me considering that I am not great with heights. But, on we went.
It was a blast.
We went up 35 feet or about 3 stories. We saw everything. It was an amazing experience. Matthew was in awe. Not only was he hanging out with one of his heroes, a firefighter, he was IN A FIRETRUCK.
And then I looked down. And looking back up at me was our the photographer for the community newspaper. So, when we got off the truck he asked for our names. My fingers are crossed that that picture will be in the paper. I just think that would be amazing to show Matthew what he looked like from way up high.

The other bizarre moment was when I was in Starbucks.
I was waiting in the super long bathroom line. Like many Starbucks, this one has one men's washroom and one women's washroom. The bathroom line was primarily women, and it was somehow decided by the hilarious and feisty teenage girls in line that we were going to have some equality. So, as we made our way through the line both men and women were directed into either washroom. We ignored the signs on the door and just went one at a time.
The moment of hilarity occurred when a man who was clearly used to getting his way walked around the line of about 25 women to use the men's room.
He got to the front of the line and got sent right back to the end of the line after being given a somewhat stern and hilarious lecture about gender equality courtesy of a 17 year old girl. Love it! And, then Matthew started shrieking "Mommy" while Mike and my dad were in line. I kept glancing back and smiling at him and trying to signal him to be quiet.
This same traffic directing, gender equality pushing teenager convinced the six teenage girls ahead of me in line to let me in front because "her child is freaking out and she looks tired".
And suddenly I love teenagers!!!
No, really. I do.

Since I'm not going to BlogHer ...

I'm not going to BlogHer. Truthfully, I'm not exactly in the group of people who are crying about it. It sounds like tons of fun - meeting bloggers, drinking wine, learning some stuff. I'd love to hear some of the panelists.
However, I also know that from my financial standpoint, me going to BlogHer would mean not going on vacation with my son, not having the little trip I had with Mike, etc. It's a priorities thing, and I'm totally okay with what I'm putting first. (please don't take this as, if you are going to BlogHer, that I think your priorities are off).
But ... for those of us who aren't going, who are just kind of envious, there's something fun and exciting.

A blogger who I read often has created her own contest - for those not going to BlogHer. A pity party of sorts where you could win a Coach purse. And, even if you don't, you can still download the button so you are almost as cool (cooler?) than those going.
I love contests. Especially this one.
Cheer up everyone!
And, happy Friday.

Melt Down in Aisle 5

Last night Matthew and I went to the grocery store. We had a few things to pick up.
One of the things I was looking for was packaged fruit salad. Matt has been bringing breakfast to school lately, and really wanted fruit salad. So we hunted for it.
Unfortunately for me the lunch box size fruit salad is in the same aisle as marshmallows and bags of raisins. (just an aside - why would packaged fruit salad not be next to canned fruit salad?)
Marshmallows ("Smarshmallows") and raisins are one of Matt's favourite foods. I sometimes buy them.
Last night I didn't want to. He was already getting a treat when I was buying him the fruit. We'd already had pizza. Enough is enough. Lately I'm realizing I give in a lot, and I'm trying to be firmer about all his whims.
So, when he grabbed a bag of marshmallows off the shelf I said no.
About twenty times.
He freaked out. And I waivered.
Guess what he did? He plopped the bag of marshmallows into the basket and then went to get a bag of raisins. When I said no he proceeded to have a meltdown. Again.
Lesson learned. If I let him get one thing after I say no and he then wins the argument and gets what he wants he will figure out that bad behaviour gets rewarded.
Yes, I have read this a million times. I'd just never realized that a) I was giving in to this and b) he had figured out that screaming wore me down.
So there we were in the middle of the grocery store, me having a lightbulb moment and him screaming at the top of his lungs.
I gave him 2 warnings to stop screaming or we would get neither the raisins nor the marshmallows. His response, of course, was scream louder. I gave him one more warning. More shouting. And then in one swift move I plopped the raisins and marshmallows on the shelf, picked the basket up with one hand and my screaming child up with the other.
It was not my most glorious moment.
I was THAT frazzled mom. The one who can't stop her child's screaming. Who is trying not to scream herself, and who frankly doesn't care that half the store is staring at her.
For a moment I was afraid someone would think I was kidnapping him, but his screams of "You are a MEAN MOMMY. Bad mommy. I wanted Marshmallows and I am maaaaaaaaaaaad at you mommy" probably warded off any worries about that.
And we made it to line. And I paid, impressively, with a screaming, writhing preschooler in my arms.
When we finished paying I carried him over to the flower department, and I pointed out the helium machine. And, as quickly as the meltdown started it stopped. I put Matthew down. He smiled at me and told me he wasn't mad anymore.
And then he said "but, Mommy, I really wanted the marshmallows and raisins and I was mad that you said no."
I looked him in the eye and said "I'm sorry you were mad, but we don't always get what we want." And, I'm not kidding you, a woman, about my mom's age, walked past me and gave me the thumbs up when she heard me say that.
And suddenly it was all okay.
Matt grabbed my hand and decided we should go home for some raisins and chocolate milk. I agreed.
And, I learned my lesson. I'm not going to give in so often. Really. I'm not.

I'm So Ready for a Vacation

I can tell I'm ready for a vacation.
I've had it with work. Generally I like my job. I like the team I am on, and I like what I do. But, really lately I'm just not feeling it.
Take for instance today. We did the Big Bike Ride. I love it. It's fun. You ride this huge bike around Toronto screaming shouting and dancing to music. What's not to love. But, I just didn't care this year. I groaned about it. I whined about it.
I was in a bad mood.
Of course once I got my team outfit on, and I had an excuse to wear lulus at work, it got much better. And, by the time I was on the bike I was a crazy woman, screaming "woo hoo" at all the people staring at us (pictures will follow). But leading up to it. Blah.
We had a team meeting and it turns out that I'm not the only one feeling this way. We're all a little ready for vacation. We've all had the fleeting thought of calling in sick and enjoying the day. My solace is knowing that at least I'm not alone.
So I'm biding my time. I realized I'd hit the point of disinterest when instead of working I actually insisted on doing a mini-makeover on a colleague who never wears make-up. (it was fun and she looked good.)
Luckily I leave for vacation next Friday. I can't wait!!! I've planned out my route to Vermont, I'm packing this weekend. I can almost smell the mountain air. I am dreaming of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, Cold Hollow Cider Mill and the Stowe Recreation Path.
Less than 2 weeks. The anticipation is building.

Will Wonders Never Cease????

I had a doctor's appointment today.
After the usual peeing in the cup and height measurement it came time for the scale.
And the number wasn't bad. Not bad at all.
And then it happened. My doctor reviewed my chart, looked at my weight, did a double take, reviewed my previous weights and then turned to me and said:
"That's a phenomenal weight. I'm impressed."
No comment on dropping a few more. No suggestion about further dieting. Her only comment was to keep doing what I'm doing.
Okay ... so unfortunately I am not cured, and I can't start eating fast food every day. But, I do have an urge to go celebrate over a Big Mac.
Anyone interested?
Actually, I have to admit that I really was just encouraged to go home and eat salad or something. The rest of the weight I want to lose is for vanity, and I may as well admit that I'm somewhat vain.
The only weird thing about the appointment is that I have high blood pressure, and it makes no sense to anyone since it's higher than when I was heavier, drinking more coffee and eating crap. The irony is that on Wednesday I'm taking part in The Big Bike For Heart and Stroke at work. At least I'm raising money for an organization that may end up solving this bizarre problem.
(don't worry - I'm not about to keel over)

It Isn't easy Being Three ...

On Friday i got called home from work because matthew was sick.
Poor thing.
My husband picked him up, and when he got him he was suffering from some sort of flu. Rough, but survivable. Things got much worse as his day went on.
Before he even made it home he fell down some stairs and scratched his leg.
Then we got him home.
While I was trying to think of something yummy yet healthy (and not illness inducing for him to eat) he asked me if he could try towing my flashlight with his helicopter.
I was feeling very accomodating. I probably should have looked before saying yes because he put the (gigantic) flashlight on the counter, hooked the helicopter up to it, and decided to see if the flashlight could fly.
It can't.
It bonked him in the head and almost knocked him out.
Once he recovered from the head trauma we had some yummy lunch. He wanted a raisin bagel, and proceeded to eat just the raisins.
Yum.
And then on to the afternoon fun (who says a sick child needs a nap?)
We decided to play with Rosie Rose Petal the beloved kitten. And, what's fun for kittens to do. Play in umbrellas of course!!!



















Don't worry - the kitten was enjoying the umbrella ride. She kept hopping in. Fun times!!!!
Of course, I decided some outdoor play was in order.
Of course, yet another injury ensued. This time a major scrape on his leg. Don't ask me how. I was watching the entire time. I really don't know!
After all of the excitement of the day Matthew finally, FINALLY decided that he would sleep. Of course, all of the play tired Miss Rosie out as well, so they had a lovely nap on the couch.
And, as for me ... exhausted!

Lick's Annoys Me

Tonight we decided to go to Licks as a family. It's pretty easy because Matt likes their food, their nature burger is healthy for me and Mike is happy to have whatever they are serving.
The Licks near us is usually fairly slow. But, tonight was an exception. Tonight they were extraordinarily slow.
The painful process started when I ordered. Matt has waited in line with me for a few minutes, but eventually he and Mike gave up and went for a walk.
So, I ordered: "One kids' homeburger meal with cheese, please," is what I started with. Before I could get to mine I was stopped.
"You can't get a kid's meal. You are over 12."
Huh???
I was ordering for my son, but this is dumb. So I had to point my child out to her.
Ohhhh kay.
Then I got on to ordering Mike's meal.
"I'll have the homeburger combo with large onion rings and a diet coke."
Her question "What size diet coke?"
Me: "The size that comes with a combo."
Her: "This isn't a combo anymore since you got a large."
Ohhh kay.
And then we got to the name thing.
Her: "What's your name"
me: "Laural"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Laural - L-A-U-R-A-L"
Her: "really? that's weird."
Nice.

Once we got through that we moved on to getting the burgers and fries. I waited 10 minutes. There was one person in front of my. Seriously. 10 minutes. For fast food. In an empty restaurant. And then they got stuff wrong. It was frustrating.
As I finally walked away with my correct order I got called back for an extra order of fries. And I had to explain that no, I did not order those fries. And then had to wait while they made sure that I indeed did not order the fries that I did not want.

Painful.

I won't get started on the whole ice cream shamozzle that occurred at the end of the meal.

Not that I'm feeling old, or anything ...

But, last night I was babysitting my nieces.
It turns out that my nieces and my son are all obsessed with the question "how old are you?"
I have no problem telling them my age, but after being asked a zillion times by every child I meet, I grow a little tired of it.
So last night when my 5-year-old niece said to me "Aunt Laural, how old are you?"
I said "how old do you think I am?"
Kyla looked at me, thought about it for a minute and then said "Ummmm 82?"
Nice.
She was completely serious.
It turns out that I may be buying that wrinkle cream a little earlier than anticipated.
Kyla's baby sister redeemed them, though, when she guessed that I'm 4.
I'm thinking 29 is a happy medium???

Lately I haven't been totally focused on losing weight.
I still have a goal in mind. But, it's summer. And, it's harder to go to the gym. Matt wants to play outside, we've gone on a mini-vacation, we've been gardening, we've been celebrating birthdays and holidays.
The bottom line is, I've been having too much fun to be completely focused on my eating and exercising habits.
Add to this the fact that I had a tooth pulled (don't worry - no more pictures) which has limited how much I want to eat, what I can eat, and the ability to use a straw ... and you have some very bizarre food combinations going on.
When we went to Buffalo I had every intention of stuffing myself at Cheesecake Factory, and enjoying some fine American cuisine. I did, but I wasn't that hungry. I actually whined to Mike that it was unfair that I was at my new favourite restaurant and all I wanted was soup!!!
So today I decided to weigh myself.
I knew that I've been eating poorly. I told myself as I stepped on the scale that it was totally fine whatever number came up because I would just focus back on eating healthy and lose the "vacation weight".
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the number.
It was significantly less than when I weighed myself last week.
Bizarre.
I stepped off, let the scale go blank, and then stepped back on (it's digital).
Same number.
Then I had my shower. And got back on. Soaking wet, with a towel I was still 5 pounds lighter than last Monday.
This morning I weighed myself 7 times. I'm convinced it's not a fluke, and that I actually have lost weight. I don't get it. But I like it.
And, it's kicked me back into healthy eating because I figure I may as well see if I can lose more weight while my body is on a role!!!

Playing "BAY-cation" with Mommy

Rarely do I think that I am a brilliant mother. I steal ideas, I copy trends. I'm not terribly original. But today ... I was smart.
At the end of July, Matthew and I are going on vacation to Vermont. I'm a little worried about losing him while we are travelling (we're taking the train) or while we are shopping or while we are wandering around.
I debated buying a harness. But ... I know my child well. And I know that there is no way that he would allow me to put one on him. So, while we were in Buffalo I bought a wrist harness. (it also included a full harness if anyone wants it). Mike and I decided that we needed to come up with some super great idea to convince Matthew to wear it.
And convince him I did.
I told him I bought him a "vacation bracelet". I pulled it out at the same time I pulled out the toys we brought back from Buffalo.
He likes the giant Lightning McQueen car. He played with it for 2 minutes.
But he loves the vacation bracelet.
I put it on him and gave him some leftover candy we had brought home with us.
All evening he has been saying "let's play BAY-cation!!!" and we put on our bracelets and walk around connected. Every so often we stop for "bay-cation food" (ju-jubes).
I feel a little like a dog being walked. So much so that Mike helpfully pointed out that we could have saved money and just bought me a leash.
But whatever. we're playing vacation and my child is willing to wear a bracelet that will hopefully keep us connected.
Genius.
I'm getting way too excited for our vacation.

Shuffled Off to Buffalo

Tomorrow, 07/07/07 is our 6th anniversary. So on wednesday night we left matt with my parents and shuffled off to buffalo.
We were going to leave thursday morning, but i decided to surprside mike and leave a day early.
It was a little crazy getting ready. i am usually the person who overpacks while mike survives on very little. But in his excitement he literally dumped the entire laundry basket in his suitcase and we were off!
We have had a lot of fun. We went shopping. We ate out. We sat and had starbucks. Twice! We have laughed over dumb stuff and not worried about much.
Of course we went to the Cheesecake factory. Yum. My meal (which again i ate a third of) filled me up so much that i could eat cheesecake. We ended up getting cheesecake to go!
Yummy.
More on our trip later.

Shuffled Off to Buffalo

Tomorrow, 07/07/07 is our 6th anniversary. So on wednesday night we left matt with my parents and shuffled off to buffalo.
We were going to leave thursday morning, but i decided to surprside mike and leave a day early.
It was a little crazy getting ready. i am usually the person who overpacks while mike survives on very little. But in his excitement he literally dumped the entire laundry basket in his suitcase and we were off!
We have had a lot of fun. We went shopping. We ate out. We sat and had starbucks. Twice! We have laughed over dumb stuff and not worried about much.
Of course we went to the Cheesecake factory. Yum. My meal (which again i ate a third of) filled me up so much that i could eat cheesecake. We ended up getting cheesecake to go!
Yummy.
More on our trip later.

Shuffled Off to Buffalo

Tooth Extraction ... Gross

This is the good side ...

Tonight I went for the long anticipated tooth extraction.
The good news is that the freezing has not yet worn off so I can type this. The bad news is that I know what's to come thanks to a helpful hygeniest.
Anyway, I won't get into too many details because one word sums it up quite nicely. OUCH!
I went in trying very hard not to be a baby about things. And that lasted at least 30 seconds.
Actually, it was very cool because the dentist put this little camera in my mouth and I got to see things on the big screen. It made me realize that this procedure was definitely necessary and that the cleaning I've been putting off for, okay YEARS, is really necessary.
So, sparing the details. But, it's not pleasant. In fact, it's so unpleasant that the dentist chose not to tell me anything other than that he would freeze me completely, and I had to sign a waiver.
The whole thing was longer than I thought. He had to wriggle the tooth for a full 10 minutes. I was shaking. And then he gave me a break. I calmed down, we started again.
The good news is that when I was a little girl my dad used to pull my tooth using pliers (when they were ready to come out). So, I was prepared. I had dealt with this before.
All in all. A success.
My reward???
I got to keep the tooth. Admittedly the dentist said that he had never let a patient keep a tooth that was infected. But, he felt that since he didn't think I would get through this without hyperventilating (I used my yoa breathing techniques) or crying (it was close but I held those tears in) I could choose between the tooth or a sticker.
I chose the tooth.
Why? Because I wanted to share it with the internets. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Feel free to show your children who don't brush their teeth.

And this is why they pulled the tooth - look at that hole!!!

Tooth Fun ...

Sorry
I didn't mean to leave everyone hanging on the tooth front.
It turned out that the pain I was experiencing was from 2 teeth. The top and bottom molars. I thought it was the bottom of my mouth that was hurting. When they asked that's what I told them, but the hygeniest looked in my mouth and said we should probably x-ray the top and the bottom.
Which they did.
The bottom was a cavity. It was kind of deep and so they filled it right away. (a temporary filling). The top is bad news. The tooth is eroded. It's pretty gross. So I have to have it (WARNING - only look if you have a strong stomach) extracted. TONIGHT!
Actually, he would have extracted it right there. Except. I was shaking way too much. And, I was alone. So I get to go back tonight.
Thank God for Ativan. And ice packs. And Tylenol 3.
The funniest part was when he said to me that the bad news is that I have to take the tooth out. The good news is that I'm only afraid of the drill - not copious amounts of blood. Nice.
Have I mentioned it took me weeks to get over my wisdom teeth removal. Uggggh.

A Weekend to Celebrate

Mtt

This was a special weekend in our family. My cousin got married, it was my niece's birthday, and it was Canada Day.
It was a bit of an up and down weekend for me. I had a disastrous dentist appointment on Saturday where I had one cavity filled, and found out I'm getting another tooth pulled. (I have to go back because I didn't want to be totally swollen and in pain at a wedding). So, it's been a painful weekend.
But we didn't let that deter us from having fun.
My cousin's wedding - beautiful. It was nice to hang out with our family, we had a lot of laughs, and I love weddings.
Canada Day was also a blast. We discovered our new favourite food - kettle corn. I do NOT want to know how many calories that stuff has, but it sure is delicious. Matthew loved the ice cream and hotdogs being served up.
It was a beuatiful weekend. And, I'm grateful that today is a day off to relax (and go for lunch with my wondermoms!)

Cousins!

As If ...

I think I jinxed myself yesterday by saying how good life is.
Because when I got home my tooth started aching. It had been bugging me, but by 7:30 last night I was in severe pain. Of course on the Friday of a long weekend no dentist in Burlington was at their office. I was flipping through the yellow pages and calling every.single.office that had emergency service. And no one answered.
Then I finally discovered a phone number. It's very cool. It's the emergency dentist hotline. One dentist is always on call. So, I reached a very friendly dentist.
He went through all of my symptoms with me. And, he explained to me that not only was he convinced that I had a tooth infection, but that if I had a cold that had been around a couple of weeks and then my teeth were really hurting, my body was probably fighting an infection.
So this morning I'm going to go get my problem solved.
I've been told to get there for 9:30 and since my cousin's wedding is today he will have me out by 1.
Have I mentioned I'm terrified of the dentist? I'm squeamish. It hurts. I'm cranky. And I wanted to spend time looking pretty for the wedding, not having my teeth drilled.
However.
I am very grateful that I have fantastic dental coverage so I should get reimbursed for some of this appointment. And, I'm grateful that the dentist could squeeze me in today.
I'm just really hoping this does not mean a root canal. Because that will do me in. (and I'm going all alone and I need moral support for root canals.)
Wish me luck. Stupid Teeth.
PS I love this quote:
Germaine Greer - "The essence of pleasure is spontaneity."

FANTASTIC!

Things are good. I know I've been very sparse in my comments to everyone lately, and really, in posting. I've just been swamped with stuff. I think we all are - that's what summer is about.
But, some good stuff.
Yesterday we had a work event where we went in teams (go team 5) and did a scavenger hunt around the city. I love this kind of stuff. LOVE IT!!!! Luckily I was on a team that was amazing. We were enthusiastic... AND WE WON!!!!!!! So cool. I got a gift certificate for $100 at Yorkdale. Go Team.
Nothing says fun like shopping. And, we went out afterwards and I had a few drinks with some old work friends and made some new ones. I love getting to know people. And, get to know people I did.
THEN...
I came in this morning to check my e-mail. I was flattered beyond belief to find out that I had been awarded a Rocking Girl Award. I was nominated by my blogging friend who I knew from Journalism School. (as I type this I suddenly have a serious craving for Salad King).
Anyway, I'm flattered and honoured. And, then someone said something really nice about me in the comments. And, that made me even happier.
So, thank you my friend.
Part of this award is that I get to award a Rocking Girl award to 5 people.

Multi-Tasking Mommy - because not only does she have a great blog, she is also a truly beautiful person. She's my complete opposite, I think, and I've e-mailed her several times to ask her opinion on things. She's amazing!

Haley-O - Hers was one of the first blogs I ever read (after Nine Pound Dictator). She is entertaining and funny and I love teh way she writes. I also love her honesty about what she's going through.

Ali - I actually read her blog for months before commenting on it because I felt she was far too cool for me. I have since realized that as cool as she is she's also very nice and hilarious sometimes.

Getting Unstuck - I loved Chantel's blog. I love love loved her book (really, if you haven't read it you should) and I found out that we went to the same school. Random. Anyway ... Really, she has some cool stuff, like she has lots of beauty tips and funny stories. Cool.

Nine Pound Dictator - We all know I love Rebecca. She's amazing and wonderful. She's honest, and she writes her stuff not caring whether or not people are mean to her or make fun of it. She's totally my hero in blogging and maybe even in real life. How could I NOT nominate her?

Sometimes he's just so cute ...

tonight we got home, and I was feeling miserable. Matt was being whiny. So, I asked him if he wanted a treat.
I pulled out his favourite - Pringles chips.
"No, mommy. I don't want that treat. I want a good treat."
The first thing that came to mind was that we have no treats in our house. And then he explained that he in fact wanted RAISINS.
Seriously. Raisins. Not lollipops or chocolate or chips. Raisins.
And he followed that by asking for apple juice.
I do not get it!
But, whatever works.

Overprotective much??

I try very hard not to be an overprotective mom.
I don't freak out if my son falls. I don't generally get annoyed at other kids being kids around him. He's in daycare, and I'm not one of the parents who wants an accident report for every cut and scratch.
So, it struck me as rather odd when my overprotective mothering instinct kicked in a couple of weeks ago.
We live in a townhouse complex, so there is a wall that divides our house from the house behind us. (so we have a side yard rather than a backyard). The house behind us has several children, four we think, one of whom, M, is 6 going on 7.
I met her when we had taken Rosie Rose Petal, our kitten, for a car ride and we were carrying her back home. M stopped us and asked to hold Rosie. I said no because she was really scared. But, M wanted to talk and play with Matthew. I finally told her that the next time Matthew and I were outside she could come hold Rosie and play with Matt.
I thought she would forget.
But, the next time we were outside, out she came. She wanted Matt to come over to her place. I said no. It went back and forth. I finally had to put on my mommy voice and say that it was time for her to go home. (she and Matt wanted to play on his bunk beds - I didn't really want her to come in).
Again tonight Matthew and I were outside with my nieces, my husband and my brother in law. Over she came - decked out in her bathing suit - to play in the sprinkler. Apparently she had asked her mom.
I didn't really mind it. First of all, it was kind of nice to have a 6 (almost 7) year old play in the sprinkler while I took a break. If she's playing outside, with me around, I'm okay with it. She seems nice. But, she's a little pushy.
What worries me is she wants Matt to go and play with her and her friends. There are lots of kids in the complex. I want Matthew to have friends. I want him to ride bikes and play and have a good time. But I'm not ready for him to be out of my sight.
I'm not quite ready to let go.
I'm sort of worried that I'll turn into that mom chasing her child around, bottle of sunscreen in one hand, cookies in another.
And, the other thing I wonder about ... why is this little girl allowed to run around to some other kids' house, with no concept of time or who these parents are. I would say my parents were fairly protective of me, but not overprotective. But, I guarantee you that they would not have let me go over to a stranger's home dressed only in a bathing suit. Isn't dangerous????
So, what do you think? Am I overprotective? And at what point do you start to let go a bit? I think 3 is just way too young.

Strawberry Picking and Amazing Strapless Bra Pics

My big plan for this weekend was to hang out with my boys and relax. But here it is, 9pm on Sunday, and I just realized I have not relaxed. At all.
But we had fun!
Yesterday I did something that's been needed doing for a long time. I did all of our laundry. I was hitting the point where I felt I had no clothes. I was beginning to think Matthew needed more clothes. I did 10 loads of laundry and discovered that we had a lot more stuff than I thought. And, I went to town organizing the entire basement.
Today we were going to go to the Pride parade, but Mike seemed grumpy, and I decided that the last thing we needed to do was take the GO train to Toronto, then the subway, and then stand in the sun. It was too much.
So thanks to the brilliant idea of Multi-tasking Mommy I decided to take Matthew strawberry picking.
We had a ton of fun.

We went on a tractor ride, we went for a pony ride and of course we picked strawberries.

Luckily I wasn't in it for the actual strawberry side of things because neither Matt nor I turned out to be great at actually picking strawberries. We got bored rather easily, and were more excited to eat than to pick. We ended up with a half basket of strawberries. We had a ton of fun and spent about 3 hours at the farm.
Then this evening we had a big family party for all of the July birthdays and father's day. It reallly was a lot of fun.

The new playhouse!

Kyla's crocs!

And, of course I took a picture of me in the new strapless bra ... fantastic!

Another Year ... Another Ballet Recital!!!!

Last night I went to my niece's second ballet recital. Again I attended as the proud aunt.
Because I'm not involved in the ballet world, I don't take her to lessons (though I've been and loved it), don't know all the parents, etc, to me a ballet recital is the coolest thing in the world. I love watching my niece dance. I couldn't be prouder.
The school she goes to is really well organized in the show. They have tons of classes to get onstage, and they do it really quickly. I actually sat back and thoroughly enjoyed the show. They mixed it so that you would get a baby ballet class (adorable) followed by an older class, and then they would throw in a seasoned dancer. I love the way they lay it out. You not only get an idea of all the classes, but you don't get bored watching all of one level at a time.
Of course Kyla's routine was the best. Her outfit was adorable and she was totally excited to be going onstage.

(Soooo cute! Thanks, Ali, for the tip to smuggle a camera in!)

It was amazing for me to watch her this year compared to last year. A year makes a huge difference. She followed along better, they did more complicated stuff. It was pretty cute.
It's also hilarious to watch the teachers. Kyla's teachers (Miss Marlene and Miss Rebecca) are onstage with the younger groups, and they are fun to watch. They totally get into it. It's worth going to the show just to watch them.
And, the other funny thing is watching all the little dancers in the audience. They get into the show completely. They twirl in their seats, and bop along to the music. LOVE it. They had a little boys hip hop class. I think when Matt is older I'll put him in.

ENjoy the pictures!!!My sister, her husband and Kyla

My parents and Kyla - click to enlarge - Kyla and my dad have the funniest expressions

Water for Elephants ... My Thoughts

Last week I wrote about any amazing book that I enjoyed. I'm not sure if it was a book review exactly, but i enjoyed it any wrote about it. Since then I've received some comments and emails suggesting that i should do this more often. And since i read a lot, i thought that is a great idea.
When i finished stuck in downward dog i started reading Leah Maclaren's book "The Continuity Girl". It sounded really good, but I could not get into it. At all.
My salvation from that drudgery came in the book "Water for Elephants" by Sara Cruen. One of my colleagues and I have discussed books at length. We disagree on several, however when she told me she enjoys Rebecca Eckler's writing, we figured a common ground could be found.
Enter her suggestion - Water for Elephants.
This book is not my typical read. It was dark and mostly humourless. It is haunting and chilling.
The story is about a young man who goes and joins a circus after his parents die suddenly. It tells of the circus life.
The book goes back and forth between a man in his nineties and a boy in his early twenties.
There were parts of the book I could barely stomach - stories of horrid abuse both to animals and people. There were sections where, if it were a movie, I would have looked away.
But the book is gripping. There were times i couldn't put it down. And the ending ...
The book is worth it for the ending, if nothing else.
I wouldn't say it was my favourite book ever. But i thoroughly enjoyed it, and it will haunt me for weeks to come.

---

The next book I'm reading is written by a comedienne. Check back soon - it looks like a good one!!

Girl's Night Out with my Niece

Tonight I went shoe shopping with my adorable, soon-to-be-5 niece Kyla.
When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday (July 1) she told me without hesitation pink, non-Mary Jane crocs.
Kyla is a very smart child. At the age of five she knows how to wrap me around her baby finger. She also knows that the way to my heart is through shoe shopping.
We went to the mall with a mission - to get crocs. We started off with a smoothie (for energy) and popcorn. I should point out that we would have gotten ice cream, but I had already been forbidden so we went with popcorn.
Once we were satisfied with all of that we went and got crocs. Choosing the crocs was the easy part - choosing the charms was not. She found 4 princesses, and I told her she could choose 2. I think she chose Belle and Cinderella. And then I decided to secretly buy the other two. But, apparently my tricky hiding the charms from Kyla looked like I was shop lifiting.
Once I cleared that up ...
We decided to go to Winners. Between us we tried on about 30 pairs of shoes. Kyla has mastered walking in heels of any size. We found some adorable high heel slides for her - but they were $25, and I was pretty sure that she would kill herself. But, I was impressed by her fashion sense. And, then we spotted some knock-off ballet flat crocs in hot pink. IN HER SIZE. How could we turn that down. They were too cute. So, then we decided she would wear those home and I will wrap the crocs for her birthday.
Of course, throughout the night we had lots of girl talk, some serious discussions about how you can not like the colour black or white but still have clothes with black and white in them. Seriousl business I tell you.
To top the night off I thought we should go to one of those photo booths. However, Kyla said to me "Aunt Laural, we can't do everything you want to do in one night. We need to save that for another day."
It would seem I've been told.
So, no pictures, but it was a fun night.

Bra Adventures in Buffalo

I will be the first person to tell you that I have big boobs. Not gigantic, freakish or Dolly Partonesque. Just big.
Here's the problem with breasts larger than a C cup - it's impossible to buy a strapless bra. And, given that all of the dresses out there that are made for women under the age of 80 require a strapless bra, I've been completely and utterly frustrated.
Here's the problem. My cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks (tee hee - Lisa did I just stress you out?) and while she is worrying about all of the last minute details, I'm worrying about what to wear.
I do have clothes I could wear. The problem is, all of my pre-pregnancy clothes, though I can at least squeeze into all of them, don't necessarily suit my body. Like I had this favourite blue dress that looked amazing and hugged all of the right curves. I can still do it up - it just doesn't look so right anymore.
I have clothes I wore post pregnancy, but they are huge.
And, who am I to turn down the opportunity to do a little shopping for a good cause.
But ... it's frustrating. All of the dresses this season are either strapless, spaghetti strapped or empire waisted. The empire waist does not flatter me, generally speaking. the empire waist held up by a stapless top is downright scary.
Basically, dresses this season are made for small boobed women. Seriously. I've worked my butt off to get into a smaller size, and now I have to go up to the largest size possible to squeeze my boobs in.
The good news is that having lost weight my breasts actually fit into the largest size - where as last year they would not have.
But, I still needed a strapless bra.
And, finding the perfect strapless bra is about 50 times harder than finding the perfect dress. It seems Canada does not sell bras, without straps, in anything larger than a c cup.
So last night we hopped in the car to go to Buffalo.
I had my sights set on Victoria's Secret. We got to Walden Galleria in record time, and made a beeline for V.S. (after we went to the toystore). Guess what? It was closed for some super sale. I almost cracked.
But, no, we went to Fredericks of Hollywood. I thought this store was only known for crotchless panties. But, no ... it's also known for bras made to fit women with implants. (the lady told me this). I don't have implants, but DD is a very typical implant size thanks to Pamela Anderson.
Anyway ...
They had strapless bras (see the extreme cleavage push-up) IN MY SIZE!!! It was a moment of pure excitement. I had choices. There was the strapless push up, the strapless non-push up. There were colour choices. I was in heaven. The sales lady was amazing. She confirmed my size, consluted on design, and brought me tons of stuff. And, not only did they have what I wanted. It was all on sale.
I ended up with 4 bras - 2 strapless, 2 normal (which are convertible).
I almost hugged the woman - and she told me that she gets this response from many Canadians - due to the lack of strapless bras.
Our evening was complete when we went to the Cheesecake Factory, where we had the yummiest dinner ever (though seriously, I ate a third of mine - and Mike ate half of his) and a waitress came over to tell us how adorable and well behaved our child was. Seriously. It was shocking!!!!
When we drove across the border we got stopped by customs. I knew we would, but I was not about to lie about my purchases because it would have been ridiculous. They inspected our entire car (which is a pretty scary thing), and then sent us on our way without making us pay anything.
Pretty sweet.
I love adventures like that!!!!

Grateful

It's father's day today. It's been a beautiful day. We went to brunch, we went shopping, we came home and set up an inflatable pool and enjoyed the sunny day.
A little later one of Mike's closest friends came over. They have gone off to the driving range. Matthew and I stayed home to make dinner, relax, and give Mike some time off.
Because it's Father's Day, and I wanted to make an authentic Father's Day meal I decided on homemade macaroni and potato salad.
So, I put 2 pots on the stove to boil.
We had a glass casserole dish sitting on the stove. I put our kettle on top of it to make some space. I put my pots of water on to boil.
EXCEPT.
I turned the wrong burner on.
I wasn't watching the stove. It takes a couple of minutes for the water to boil so I was cleaning off our dining room table.
And then I heard an explosion. It was so loud. I can't describe it.
The glass casserole dish exploded.
When I say exploded, I mean glass was everywhere.
Thank God - I had just turned on Treehouse and that Matthew was watching it far away from the kitchen
Thank God - I was in the dining room and didn't check when I was about to. If I had checked 5 seconds earlier I would have been attacked by spraying glass.
Thank God - that the cats were not around. Matthew had left his cup of slurpee drink on the stairs (even though I had told him not to) and Rosie Rose Petal was attempting to drink from his straw.
The kitchen's a mess. I have shards of glass in my feet from running into the kitchen, but really - could have been so much worse.
So grateful today. My heart is still pounding though.

Saturday Morning with my Preschooler

This morning:
I woke up and had a lovely cup of coffee and breakfast while Matty slept. This meant I could watch the series finale of Dawson's Creek on TBS (crying of course) in peace. Yes, I've seen it but how nice is some sappy tv?
About an hour later Matthew woke up. And called me from his bunkbed. "Mommy, I'm awake, come get me."
I went to get him and the first thing he did was give me a big hug and say "I love you!"
I went to brush my hair in the upstairs bathroom while he went downstairs. I soon followed him, and found him sitting on the toilet, no prompting.
"I didn't want to have an accident" he told me.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED!!!
I then proceeded to give him some cereal. He ate it, and when he finished it he stood up and carried his bowl and spoon to the kitchen and put it in the sink.
I have been working on this. All of it. And, I know you should expect this of your child, but when it happens without prompting, with no whining, just like second nature... it's very rewarding!!!
Let's hope this is how today goes.

I Conquered the Bay Street Rat Race!

Tonight is about celebrating for me because tonight I conquered the Bay Street Rat Race, a 5 km run in downtown Toronto.
I've been working toward this since January. I knew I wanted to run. I just didn't think I could do it. But guess what?! I could ... and I did.
And I had a blast!
Part of the fun of this event is that there is a costume element. My friend and I decided to be the "OMERinas" (that incorporates our company name) we wore tutus over our running clothes. You really just need to get into the mood!

The whole event was really really fun. (that is my friend Meghan looking very Megerrific!) We are doing our ballet pose!


My parents, husband and son came and met me at my office. And, then they walked over with my colleagues in order to watch me. It meant a lot to me. This was something I've been working toward and having people cheer you on is a big deal.

(It's all about Teamwork! Go Team!)

We had to stand at the starting line forever. This kind of worked against me because I completely psyched myself out. I could not stop shaking. So, the start was really rough. I started off with my friend, but I was so shaky that I had to stop and walk a bit to calm myself down. I just couldn't make myself run.

I kept reminding myself that I just had to make it through. So, for awhile I would run a minute and walk a minute. I just had to do it. I finally got to Bloor, and someone I work with had told me that if I got up to Bloor the way back was downhill and much easier. So, I just started to run. I blocked everything out, told myself to take it one step at a time - and DID IT.
I have to say, doing a race was amazing. People were so inspiring - cheering everyone on while they ran past - I was so encouraged. One step at a time I got through.


(on your mark, get set ...)

GO!!!

And, was I ever surprised when I ended up coming in first!!!!
Just kidding.
But, I had set a goal of making it in 35-40 minutes. Guess what? I did it in just under 35 minutes. If you're a runner you'll know this time isn't anything fantastic.

(Just about to cross the finish line - I was sprinting!!!)

But, if you're a runner you also know it's about testing personal limits. That's what I did. I'm proud. My previous best time was 38 minutes. I shattered that record.

When I got home there was a balloon and card waiting for me from my sister to go along with the flowers from my parents. Yep. They got it!!!

And, on top of all of this ... I set a fundraising goal of $1000. And guess what? I did it!!!!! And, that's what it's about!
We left the race talking about which race I'll be doing next. And, I think my dad is taking up the challenge to do a 5k with me.
Anyone care to join?
To everyone who supported me (financially and emotionally) THANK YOU!

My official time was 34:42 and my place was 770 (of 1185 people)

GO ... Read this Book

I read a lot.
Thanks to the 45 minute GO Train ride I take every day I get a wonderful chance to read all of the time. And, my tastes vary. Sometimes I'm in the mood for chic lit, sometimes for adventure, sometimes mystery, sometimes biographies. Sometimes I read the paper. Sometimes I read magazines.
But, reading each and every day is one of the greatest pleasures in my life. This can be good when I really enjoy a book, but it can also be bad when I'm a little too into a particular character and I realize I'm moody because a character is going through a tough time. (kind of like when I realized in university that as much as I loved Jann Arden, listening to her on the way to school was totally bringing me down!)
That's how into books I can get.
---
Last week I bought the book Stuck in Downward Dog by Chantel Simmons.
I had an inkling it was going to be a good book because I went to the bookstore following a run. I was dressed completely in lululemon (something I don't generally do when I go book shopping) and was flushed from exercise. I knew what book I was getting - so I just popped in to find that particular book. When I went to pay for it the girl at the cash squealed "ohhh! You're wearing lulu. You are soooo going to love this book." ooookay. Actually, she was really nice and we had a nice chat about everything lululemon.
And, the next day I started reading.
I have to tell you, I LOVED this book.
The main character is a girl named Mara Brennan. She is 28, the age that both her mom and her sister had perfect years. And her life is anything but perfect. After a series of crappy events she sets out to make 28 a good year. The book follows her through the year (well, not the whole year).
I won't tell you more - because I hate it when people ruin a book for me. (but, if you want to read the whole background click here)
But, I will say this ... There were parts of this book where I could relate fully and completely to this character. Like, not just a little bit, but a ton. Her friends seem perfect, their lives seem to work perfectly. She has a sister who always seems to have it a little more put together. She struggles a lot.
Oh, and she loves eating junk food, struggles with her weight and goes on cucpake dates. (yummy!)
By the end of the book I wanted to hug her. I just fell in love with this lovingly imperfect character, and her story.
What I've realized over the past year (ironically, the year I was 28 - I just tunred 29) is that people like me for me - quirks and all. And, sometimes the stuff that I struggle with the most, the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve, cry too much (and no, not always for "dramatic effect"), laugh too hard, don't take myself all that seriously, and about a million other things ... those are the things that make me who I am.
And, when I embrace those things - I am a better person.
Reading this book made me remember all of that. And, it also made me want to go do yoga ... and eat cupcakes :)
Really, when I finished reading the book, I kept reading and read through the credits because I just couldn't put it down. That good.
The other cool thing - the person who wrote it is a blogger. And, I actually heard about her book because I linked to her blog from someone else's. So, that's just pretty cool.
So ... Go out and read - and enjoy. Cause yes, it's that good!!!

A friend and some cats ... achoo!

Tonight we went to visit a family friend.
My husband's mom and and this friend, Pam, have known each other since Mike and Pam's son Trell were babies. So, going to visit is one of those comfortable experiences. It's always a nice visit. Pam is easy going, loves Matthew, loves chatting, and always has coffee and treats.
She also has numerous cats.
At the moment there are 3 cats - all are Siamese (though this is kind of a fluke - she had a siamese and then rescued 2 more).
I know Siamese cats are not known to be the world's friendliest cats, but these ones are. They let me pick them up, they tolerate, and occassionally play with Matthew. It's pretty adorable.
But I. COULD. NOT. STOP. SNEEZING.
Granted I'm allergic to cats. But, I have 2 cats who I'm not that affected by, and I took an allergy pill before I got there.
It was pretty funny because as the evening went on I got stuffier and stuffier and sneezed about a million times. I tried to carry on a conversation.
It went a little like this: "work is *ACHOO* good but *ACHOO* rather *ACHOO* busy."
And, it got to be hilarious. I just kept sitting and sniffling. I was one of those annoying people who run you out of kleenex, and you think "haven't they heard of Claritin?" Except I have - and I took one!!!
weird.
Now that I'm home I'm much better. One more benadryl and then bed.
*ACHOO*!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Tuesday Meme the Following Tuesday!!!

A week later, I've finally gotten to the meme that Mamma Lee tagged me for!!!!

Instructions: Remove the blog from the top, move all blogs up one, add yourself to the bottom.

Blogging Obsession
Jersey Mum
Full Plate
Misadventures of Mommy Laural

Five people to tag: I'm only tagging 3 - it's the boys' turn to answer these questions. Urban Daddy, James,Michael and Sci-Fi Dad

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was working full time as a waitress preparing to go to University. I had just returned from a trip to France with my best friend, and I was ready to conquer the world. I was spending pretty much every evening at 2nd Cup with my friend Patrick, drinking coffee and flirting with boys. I'm not where I thought I would be, but the me of 10 years ago would be pretty happy.

Five Snacks You Enjoy: (though I don't eat them very often)

1. Fruit salad
2. Cheesy Cheetos
3. Sour Cream and Onion Chips
4. Kit Kat bars
   
5. Wine gums
   

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To:

1. Dilemma (Nelly and Kelly Rowland)
   
2. Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)
   
3. Killing Me Softly
   
4. Amazing Grace (I really love this song!)
   
5. Shake it Baby, Shake it (the first and only song Matt taught me)
   

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire:

1. Fly my best friend from elementary school and her family to visit me
   
2. Get my hair cut regularly by Bill
   
3. Buy a large home, have more children and multiple caregivers to help me
   
4. Take a long vacation
   
5. Purchase a really nice car and have a driver
   

Five bad habits:

1. Reading blogs too much
   
2. Eating junk food
   
3. Letting the house get messy
   
4. watching too much tv
   
5. Checking my Blackberry too often
   

Five Things You Like To Do:

1. Sing while driving with the windows down
   
2. Play with my son
   
3. Go Shopping
   
4. Blog
   
5. Read
   

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:

1. Lime Green Vuarnet t-shirt
   
2. Jeans with safety pins
   
3. Jeans with a leather waist band
   
4. Stirrup pants
   
5. I'm guessing the outfit I'll be wearing at the Rat Race on Thursday
   

Weekend Fun

This weekend was packed full of stuff. You can tell it's the beginning of summer because it seems like there's so much to do and not enough time to do it in.
The weekend started with a very long commute home Friday night.
I left work at 4:30 and got home at almost 8pm. I was on the train and it stopped because there were trees fallen on the track. Luckily I had a really good book and I went to the washroom before I left - so it wasn't so bad. It was slightly annoying when they told us we were all going back to one stop then went forward to the next. Then they got the chain saw out to cut trees. It was a little startling. But, we finally made it to a station in one piece where I got off and had my husband pick me up. Fun.
On Saturday we went to Peterborough for, I kid you not, a monster truck show and demolition derby. I know - I bet you didn't think I had it in me. I wisely kept my Coach bag at home, wore some old jeans and actually got into it. It was pretty fun. There were some scary moments like when one of the demolition derby cars burst into flames - but everyone was fine.
My favourite moment of the night was when Matthew turned to everyone in the crowd and shouted "they drive just like Mommy."
Smart child.
And then today we went to Woofstock. One of my friends had helped to arrange a walkathon for dogs, and so she asked if Matthew would be willing to walk her dog. Of course I said yes. I really quite like dogs, as does Matthew. And I knew he'd have fun. We really did. Her dog, Sammy, was adorable, and soooo good. I was a little worried when we handed over the leash (I had it in my hand as well) but it was totally fine. This dog was so well behaved and he just walked right along. It was impressive. Matt had visions of bringing Sammy home ... he is way too beloved for that, but it was still pretty cute.
And then this afternoon ... I sewed!
Seriously.
I pull out my sewing machine very rarely. I purchased my sewing machine when I thought that all good mothers made their children's Halloween costumes (this was, obviously, Matt's first Halloween because I have since learned that is a myth).
I suck at sewing. Of all the comments I ever received on my report cards, there is one I distinctly remember from 8th grade family studies (home ec) - "Laural should consider careers that don't require sewing. She is a very good cook."
Yep. I'm that bad at sewing.
But - this week is the Rat Race. In addition to the fact that the Rat Race is a race, there is another side to it - it's a costume contest.
Now, I've worked really hard to be able to do 5k, but try as I may, I'm doubting that I will come in first. So my friend (and colleague) and I have decided we will kick butt in the costume contest. I had to pull out my handy dandy sewing machine to whip up our amazing costumes. I'd post a picture, but I don't want to spoil the surprise. So stay tuned. Let's just say it is very original.
I did a demonstration for my parents, who are quite used to me, and even they agreed that we had a costume that was creative and yet I will still be able to run in.
I'm just grateful that the race doesn't start till 7:30 - most people at work will be gone before we don our outfits (and luckily my division runs our company intranet. I am quite positive I can talk them out of posting the pictures!)
And now, to top off the weekend, I'm watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
I feel like I need another weekend to get over this one.

Kittens and Cats and Preschoolers ... Oh my!

A couple of weeks ago we got a kitten. You know, I went and got her on a whim and then told my husband after.
I had a feeling it would all work out in the end!
And I was right.
Mike has totally bonded with her. He watched TV and she sleeps in his lap.
Matty loves having a little kitten around. He carries Rosie Rose Petal all over the house. She doesn't seem to mind. He's careful with her, and she loves him entertaining her. The other night he was playing with some foam letters, and Rosie was sitting with him, watching him and occasionally swatting the letters. Adorable!!!
But the funniest thing to watch is Rosie and our older Cat Mojo playing together.
This is the part I was the most worried about. Mojo is a great cat, but she's a bit of a loner. She's quite shy at first. When I first got her she hid for days. She slowly bonded with me to the point where she would eat kibble out of my hand. As she has gotten older she's gotten a lot more comfortable with people. I think part of this has also been because she lived with my sister for a year, so she got acquainted with more and more people.
But she had never been around other cats (except for when she lived at the Humane Society and there were cats around her).
The first couple of days with Rosie Rose Petal were a little challenging. She wasn't quite sure. She would hiss if Rosie came too close. There was the occasional swat. I was pretty sure that they wouldn't kill each other when I went to work.
But over the last week things have really changed. They have become friends!!!!
They are so funny to watch now.
They follow each other everywhere. When I wake up in the morning they both come running upstairs and join me in the bathroom while I shower. they both hover while I eat breakfast. When I go downstairs to get ready for work they follow me there. It's cute.
And they chase each other. All.The.Time!
It could be 2 am (and often is) and we will hear them running around the living room.
Apparently the room is well set up for cats who chase each other. Rosie will sit on the coffee table while mojo runs circles around it. Or, mojo will hide and Rosie will come find her and Mojo will jump out at her. It's hilarious.
I never knew that Mojo had all this excitement and energy in her. I love it.

5k ... or Die

Not to be overly dramatic or anything!!!
Last week I signed up for the Scotiabank Rat Race for the United Way- a 5km run around downtown Toronto.
In January I decided I was going to run a 5k, and here we are 6 months later and I'm ready to go. I've been working hard. I ran one with my friend Lou (who, dontcha know, will be running in the next Boston Marathon!) and I done it on my own as well. I know I can do it.
But the idea of running 5k with tons of other people, my colleagues, dressed in some sort of costume ... Ahhhhhhhhhh!
I have to admit, I'm scared to death.
But, determined.
Very determined in fact.
When I heard that my company was not going to be taking part in the Rat Race this year I was really upset. So, I found out whose mind I had to switch, pled my case, and now we have a corporate team. Yay! However, it's a corporate team made up of runners - and me!!! Oh well, if nothing else I have enough spirit for everyone, and I'm convinced I won't come in dead last.
And....
I have a fundraising goal.
Let me stop for a just a second - this is not a plea for money. I'm working my butt off to get sponsors, and I'm close to my goal of $1000.
Not bad for a week. Not bad. The money I can get. The nerve I'm still working on. (If you do want to sponsor me let me know - I'll send you a link)
We're down to the wire here people. One week to go - and I'm getting nervous.
Any advice on how to get through the jitters? Please share!!!

An Update ... If you do want to sponsor me ... here's the link

Rebecca Eckler Rocks!

I've been reading about the Rebecca Eckler/Judd Apatow lawsuit recently.
Truthfully, lawsuits usually bore me. But, because it involves one of my favourite writers, a new movie and a whole bunch of controversy, I'm fascinated.
I haven't seen the movie. I don't have any plans to in the near future. I hated the movie The 40-Year-old Virgin. Really. I didn't find it funny. I think I fell asleep. (my husband loved it though). But, I'm sure we would have rented it someday because it really is the kind of movie my husband finds funny.
Regardless.
I totally see where Rebecca is coming from on this. The title is exactly the same. The plot is exactly the same. The freaking logo is exactly the same. And, why not pursue it. I would. We all would.
And, it does make me wonder how much research this guy did - because even if he copied her entire book BY ACCIDENT there should be someone doing research to make sure that such a fluke doesn't occur.
But besides all of that, what is making me angry is how some people out there are using this as a platform to start trying to slam her yet again. It's ridiculous.
I understand not agreeing with a lawsuit - but to then start discussing how she sucks is completely childless. And a big time waster.
Today I got an e-mail from someone (hi!) - and she talked about being a fan of Rebecca's as well. And she pointed out the negative attention that Rebecca has gotten lately.
I realized that if this were a friend of mine, for instance, at work, I'd totally be on their side - and supporting them. And, Rebecca is my friend in the blogosphere. So for the record - I totally support her :) And so do a lot of others.
So, I don't care how dorky this sounds ... I think she's great. And I for one am not stooping to the level of annoying anonymous people who feel the need to bash her.

Ooops ... I'm sorry

Today I learned a pretty vital lesson. Apologize.
I'm not always good at apologizing. I'll say sorry, but I don't always mean it. I've been trying to teach Matt that if he does something wrong or something that hurts someone you should apologize. It's really hard to teach a 3 year old empathy.
But, today it was my turn to apologize.
Matt and I had been gardening and he was covered in dirt. I went to change and then we were going to go mattress shopping. I left him with the instructions to wash his hands while I got changed.
When I got upstairs he was running around the living room with a tummy covered in soap. I was cleaning him off and trying to get him ready to go.
And then he reached for the soap.
He got a whole bunch on me, and on him. I was pissed.
I was ready to go. He was getting soap everywhere. So, he reached for it again and I said no. Then I shouted it. Then I said "I'm trying to go. Stop playing with the stupid soap."
It's not the worst thing of all Mommy things to say. But it was how I said it. And then he was sobbing. And I was getting more annoyed. And then he'd shout that he wanted the soap and I would shout no.
I had to walk away.
It wasn't that big a deal. We got him dressed. We went to the store. He was tired and I was.
But, in the car I said sorry.
I didn't make a huge deal of it. I just said "Matt, I shouted at you about the soap and I shouldn't have. I know you were just having fun. I'm sorry."
It sounds so simple. But, I'm not usually good at that stuff. I'm not usually the one to apologize first. But, things change when you have a child.
This stuff matters.
He said it was okay.
Part of me thinks that today was about teaching him to say sorry and mean it. But, really I know it was all about me learning to say sorry - when I'm wrong - and mean it.

Groceries + Blogging = Empowered

HBM issued a challenge to her readers - to talk about being empowered.
I struggled with this concept for days. What does it mean and how have I been empowered?
I'm not HBM, or Motherhood Uncensored, or Dad Gone Mad. I don't have a zillion readers and I don't affect a million lives.
I've never made someone cry upon meeting them.
I've never blogged about my life choices, because as a married mother of one, I fit into the "norm".

But tonight I understood why blogging has indeed empowered me.

I was in the grocery store. I had a cart full of cleaning supplies (plus some jelly beans), I had a pissed off husband and a child screaming "bum bum" at the top of his lungs. It was not a shining Mommy moment. It was a typical Monday evening.

And then someone walked up to me and said "are you Laural?"

It turned out that she reads my blog. We'd never met. She recognized me from pictures, and she wanted to say hello. We chatted while I paid for groceries (Mike and Matt had gone to another store). We talked about getting together for wine and card making. It was just a friendly exchange. (Hi Kerry!)

And then it hit me - this is why blogging has empowered me. People accepting me for who I am - with my eccentricities and failures - has made me accept myself. That's something I would never have expected.

Prior to blogging I was struggling. I started blogging because I felt like despite how well all the pieces fit together, I felt out of place. I was too relaxed with my child. I was young(ish) and was tired of people assuming that it was therefore easy for me or that life was perfect.

Probably the worst parenting moment for me was when I was attending a playgroup that I enjoyed. Matt was about 9 months, not sleeping much, and really a difficult child. I was exhausted. We were having major financial struggles. And, I went to this playgroup, and said to someone "I'm just finding it all really hard right now."

Her response? "well, I'm 40. I have a toddler and I'm pregnant with my second. You young people have no clue what this is like."

Do you know what I did? I left that playgroup. Stunned. And I never returned. I felt powerless and immature.

For me, parenting was HARD.
I went through PPD, breastfeeding killed me, I weighed about 50 lbs more than I wanted to, we were broke, our marriage was suffering. And every time I tried to talk about it I got answers like "yeah, but at least you are married." or "your child is beautiful and so many have disabilities".
By the time my son was 18 months I felt like I should shut up and never complain.
Blogging showed me the opposite. Life is difficult. Talk about it. Blog about it. Ask for help. And BE HONEST!!!!

What I've learned - it's honesty that people respond to.

Am I the perfect mother? No. Not at all. But, you know, I like me. I love my son to death, and despite all my quirks and flaws and errors and downfalls, I'm not too bad at this parenting thing!

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This is my response to this (though I can't go to Blogher - I just wanted to answer the question)