Rainy Days Call For Fancy Jackets

Yesterday I got the funniest e-mail from my sister.
It turns out that the really cool puppy dog raincoat I had bought for my older niece Kyla was no longer a hit with her.
Last year I bought both Kyla and Matt raincoats that made them look like animals. Matthew has the froggie jacket and Kyla has the dalmation jacket. Matthew still loves his. Kyla, not so much.
It turns out that the kids in junior kindergarten were making fun of my niece.
An excerpt, as written by Becky (my sis):

So, Kyla's been complaining about the dog coat you got her - apparently what was cool last year, is causing her some problems this year. She says that when she puts her hood up because of the rain everyone says she looks like a dog. She will wear the rain coat but only if she has her cinderella umbrella with her to she can use that instead of putting up the dreaded hood of the coat. She's telling me all this this morning as I'm making her put it on. Paige takes one look at her in her coat and says "woof-woof". It was too funny! I'm trying to get Paige to shut up and to get Kyla to stop crying... When the dilemma is solved, I'll pass the jacket to you and Matty can wear it. I get the impression he would just slug the kid that bothered to call him a dog instead of disolve into tears.

When I read this I could not stop laughing, while at the same time feeling sorry for my niece. I mean the poor child is being called a dog.

Luckily I work very close to a store that sells rain coats. So I went to see what they had available. Luckily they carried the entire Kidorable line, which included some very feminine, and distinctly un-doglike raincoats for little girls.

Last night I went over to see Kyla, and assuage my guilt with this lovely new plastic offering (that came complete with a matching flowered hanger.) I also came bearing gifts for my younger niece. My friend's daughter (who was visiting our office yesterday) gave me the coolest butterfly umbrella for my niece. So, Kyla got a raincoat. Paige got an umbrella.

When I gave Kyla the coat I said "So, that now your friends can't call you a dog." Paige, who is almost 2, heard the word dog and started walking around saying "woof. woof." I could totally see why this would annoy Kyla to no end. Luckily we got Paige back on the word butterfly (cause of the umbrella) and Kyla tried on her new jacket to which she said:
"Great! Now they will call me a flower" (it turns out this is a good thing).

And as we all know ... April showers bring May flowers.

Aren't they cute??

Underage Drinking ... and me!

I have been of legal drinking age for 9 years now.
I have been carded many times, but really not in ages ... Until tonight.
It was my friend's birthday today. I should point out that we work together and we are both legal drinking age.
So we thought nothing of going to Jack Astor's for a drink. We sat at the bar and ordered. The waitress looked at us and said "can i see some id?"
I laughed, but she was serious.
My friend didnt have any id. So the manager decided we could stay - but not drink alcohol (not even me!)
We decided to leave, after of course, bumping into a friend from work who enjoyed the humour in it.
Next bar.
Same thing.
We order drinks. They ask for id! Huh?
My friend swares she is never asked. I am rarely asked.
Bar #3.
At this point we were beginning to feel we needed a drink. We came up with a plan. Go in. Have a very serious conversation. When server comes over i will order 2 coronas. Go back to conversation. We debated sending my friend to the bathroom while I ordered, but we thought that may be too obvious and also, we werent sure of the legalities. (what happens if you order a drink for someone with no i.d.? Do they call the cops or are you just kicked out?)
The plan worked. Okay, really, I'd been to that bar a couple of times before and the person recognized me.
No i.d. was requested. Thank GOD!
We had a fun evening!
And I went home feeling very youthful.
And really, im not worried about the calories consumed because I know we burned them all off laughing at ourselves.

Workin' It!!!

Since I came clean with my confession this week, I didn't want to leave everyone hanging.
I went to my meeting today.
I decided to go to one mid-day, because I've been before, and it's always nice to see a nice smiling face when you have to shed all dignity, step on a scale, and weigh yourself.
This week I was focused. Seriously focused. I journaled. I exercised. I did everything I needed to do. And, I felt an amazing amount of control coming back into my life.
I know - it's weird. But it's totally true.
I turned down ice cream and junk food. And I got into the exercise. I bought shiny new running shoes, and I ran my butt off.
And, it wasn't bad. In fact, I started to enjoy it.
I didn't realize how little water I've been drinking throughout the day. Nor did I realize just how much crap I've really been eating.
Journaling every day made me watch what went in my mouth.
And ... the results?!?!
I lost 4 pounds!!! Seriously. Four pounds in one week.
I know that this is the thing with first weeks. When you have slacked off for awhile and then suddenly get back to it, the first week tends to be extra good.
But still!!!!
Plus, this puts me much closer to the goal I have set for myself.
I think I'm going to go get myself some lovely new lululemon pants to celebrate!!!
And THANK YOU to everyone who commented and made me realize that this is not something to be ashamed of. I held my head up a little bit higher this week.

Things You Don't Want to Hear ...

Last night we were over at my sister's place.
The kids (4,3 & almost 2) were downstairs playing happily while we had coffee.
Suddenly we hear the youngest start crying.

Matthew: "Mommy. Paige is crying."
Me: "Why is she crying, Matt?"
Matthew: "Paige is sad because I'm being the doctor."

You have never seen 4 adults move so quickly!!!

Maybe the kids are not quite ready to play alone.

My Confession (since you asked)

If there's one thing I've always been hesitant to blog about, or talk about, it's my weight.
I hate the topic.
Every so often I mention my struggles with weight. Lately it's been a positive thing. I'm running, I'm liking my body, I'm getting kudos from my doctor.
And whenever I write about it I get a comment asking how I'm doing it. I get asked that in person too.
So, here's me coming clean.
Weight Watchers.
And, I'm also admitting this, I've gone back to attending meetings.
I'm embarrassed to admit it. To me Weight Watchers is somewhere that "fat" people go. As someone who has fought against that stigma my entire life telling people I go to Weight Watchers is tough.
The first time I did the program I was in university. I had about 40 lbs to lose and I didn't know where to turn. So I went there. No one knew. I told one of my closest friends (who always covered for me when friends asked where I was) and I told my boyfriend at the time( now my husband.)
Eventually I told my mom. I remember the conversation. It went somewhat along the lines of me saying "I have to tell you something..." I'm sure my mom thought I was going to tell her I was on drugs or pregnant. So, when I told her I was doing weight watchers, she was not only delighted, but somewhat relieved.
I went on to lose the 40 lbs and become a lifetime member.
But the truth of the matter is that I'm still really ashamed that I need to belong to such an organization to maintain a healthy body size.
On Wednesday, after my doctor told me I needed to lose 10 more pounds, I looked up Weight Watchers meetings online, found one, and went.
My husband asked me why I was sounding so depressed about it. He couldn't figure out why I was so upset about going.
I explained to him that I feel like an alcoholic going to an AA meeting after falling off the wagon. Because lately I feel like I have fallen off the wagon.
One cookie has turned into about 8 cookies. One chip has turned into a bag of chips. And, I realized the other day that I can't stop on my own. I need to get back in control. I need to start going to meetings.
I know I can get it back. That's the beauty of a program like Weight Watchers. I have all the tools. I know how to live a healthy lifestyle. It's about eating right, staying within the limits, writing what you eat, attending meetings, exercising, and drinking water.
It's been successful for me many times.
But, I wish there was a cure. I wish I could take a pill and solve the problem. I don't mean a pill to be a thin. I mean a pill that wouldn't make me want to eat all my troubles away.
The good news is that I have reigned it back in. I've taken the control back this week. I haven't gained 50 lbs I have gained 3. And I can quite easily lose that.
And then I will lose the other 10 lbs, and I will be back in control.
But, until then I feel like I must say "Hi, I'm Laural Dawn, and I am a foodaholic..."
Anyone wanna come to a meeting with me?

The Unexpected

“Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us.”

Boris Pasternak

In the last little while tons of unexpected things have happened. Not huge things that have been life changing, just little unexpected things that make life good.

Take for instance yesterday. I was sitting at my desk, and it was a pretty quiet day when my phone rang. It was one of my cousins who I don't see very often. She was in town for an interview and wondered if I had time for a quick coffee. I did. We sipped lattes and chatted. It was nice. We've never done that.
If you had asked me on Monday who I'd have coffee with that week, my cousin Emily would never have come to mind.

And then yesterday I got an e-mail from a friend I haven't seen in ages. The last time I saw her I don't think I was even pregnant with Matt. We just lost contact. Things kind of got in the way. It happens. And, then she sent me an e-mail. Not a two line e-mail, but a long, fullsome talkative e-mail that made me miss our friendship. This too, was totally unexpected. But wonderful.

But there's more. So much lately is unexpected. Matthew is changing so much. I never know what he's going to say. Sometimes he says things that make Mike and I laugh. Funny out of the blue stuff like "time for bed I see the moon" or "I'm a machine. I have no nose."
But there's the other unexpected stuff too - the stuff that is super sweet and makes me really smile. Like on Wednesday when I turned on America's Next Top Model, and Matty got excited and decided he was going to snuggle up on the couch and watch it with me while eating popcorn (and wisely said to his dad "Daddy, I love you please get me popcorn"). Or, last night, when we were snuggling and he kept asking if we were friends. And, I kept saying yes, we're friends and then he finally said "that's good, Mommy, because I love you very much."
Unexpected. But so wonderful.

Sometimes life is good. (or, ya know, Wonderful!)

Public Transit

Usually I love taking the train every day.
Okay, more like, I prefer it over driving to work, and it's much nicer than the subway.
The thing with the GO train is this - you need to pick your seat wisely.
I have the luxury in the morning of being at a stop where there are still seats left. And I generally choose which level I am on. I have a regular car and there are a few seats I prefer. But, there is a bit of a science to picking the right seat. And you have roughly 1 second to choose before being pushed by someone wanting to sit as well.
The best seat on the train, in my opinion, is on the aisle (for quick exit) next to a sleeper. Sitting next to a sleeper allows you to read, listen to music or simply stare into space without being interrupted. I am a gregarious person, but I HATE people on the train who talk to me. At 7:25 in the morning, after the whirlwind that is getting me ready, getting matt ready, getting the cat fed and gettin gout the door, I'm ready for some peace and quiet.
So, yesterday I found the perfect spot. I was next to a self contained sleeper. In other words, her head was down, so there was no danger of her drooling on me and/or resting her head on my shoulder. She looked young enough that snoring would not be a concern. I sat, I got comfortable, I pulled out my book. Good start.
Until she lifted her head, and, in a zombie like state proceeded to blow her nose. But, it wasn't a gentle blow. It was a HONK that could truly have rivaled any loud nose blower I've ever met.
I jumped.
As did the people around me.
She simply refolded her kleenex, put her head down, and went back to sleep.
I went back to my book.
Next stop. Everyone got settled in (standing room only, suckers!!!) and again, the sleeping woman lifted her head did a huge honk, and fell back asleep. This time more people jumped. One woman dropped her coffee.
I tried not to giggle.
I knew we had another 2 stops. This was hilarious.
The same thing happened at BOTH stops. By the time I was at the last stop I was almost hysterical. At each new stop she'd suddenly wake up, honk, and go back to sleep. I could NOT stop giggling. I actually was beginning to think that this was Candid Camera or something.
I was so convinced of this that I actually reapplied my lip gloss and made sure not to slouch ... just in case.
Thankfully she stopped honking 5 minutes before we got to union.
So ...
It came as no surprise to me when later on in the day, when I had to take the subway to a doctor's appointment that yet again I was entering the world of the bizarre.
Again, I was seated next to a very normal looking person. Until she turned on her MP3 player ... AND STARTED SINGING ALONG.
She was quite literally the worst singer I may have ever heard. Not only could she not carry a tune, she was singing along to Beyonce (Bootylicious). I tried not to laugh. She then moved on to Pussycat Dolls at which point I did lose it. I had to get up. And move. I didn't want the poor girl to lose the spirit. I mean practice does make perfect.
And finally ...
When I was done at the doctor I went to get my bus. However ...
The bus stop was surrounded by police. There were people being arrested. Their were guns out. Crap. What did I do? I hopped on the next bus. Me AND the perpetrator hopped on the bus. He sat across from me. So ... the cops just stopped the bus and proceeded to get on and arrest the guy sitting across from me.
And then, the cop asked me if I could be a witness (I said no because I hadn't seen it all).
WEIRD.

Weighty Issues

Today I had a doctor's appointment.
Last year, almost a year ago, I went to see my doctor. We had a long discussion about health and weight and depression and anxiety and all of the other fun issues you can discuss with your doctor. I decided to lose weight. By that I mean she encouraged me to make that decision.
But, it was my own.
I've been back in the meantime, but we haven't discussed weight.
The reason I went back today was because I've been running a lot, and I use my inhaler, and I needed a new prescription.
When I told her this, she said "well, then, let's talk weight."
There's nothing that gets me more stressed out than the weight discussion. (Thank goodness she'd already checked my blood pressure). But, there was no going back.
We went through everything I'm doing, she weighed me, we evaluated my diet. I admitted I've been a little less focused about my eating, but explained that I've been exercising a lot so not really gaining because of that.
I finally said "I know - I need to lose 20 lbs. and I should have by now. I'm just frustrated."
She looked me straight in the eye and said "that's not the weight discussion I wanted to have."
What????
Nope.
What she wanted to tell me was that I've lost a lot of weight (about 55 lbs) in a healthy way. And, her recommendation was that I lose 10 lbs more - not 20. And, her reasoning for that is because she said that I'm active and I'm running and that 10 lbs would make a huge difference in my cardiovascular.
In other words, my weight now is healthy. Another 10 pounds would mean that I'm in good shape.
And then, even cooler, she hugged me. And, she said that she's incredibly proud of me for making so many positive changes in my life.
This is a doctor who saw me at my worst. She went through ppd with me and helped pull me out of it.
Okay, so she also said that if I lose another 10 lbs I'll be in optimum shape for having another baby. Yeah. Good to know. Very good to know. But, that is not my immediate (if ever?) goal.
So, yay me!
So, it looks like I'll be dragging my sister to the gym a little more often (Beck, I know you are thrilled about this) and watching what I eat a whole lot more. Because, really, 10 lbs are doable!!

My sister, Becky, and I - way happier than last year.
(I actually let people take my picture at Matt's birthday this year)

In My Defense ...

Whew...
Friday was quite a day. Here. On my blog.
It all started innocently. I met Rebecca Eckler. I thought it was amazing. (I still do) I decided to blog about it.
Part of the evening that I didn't blog about (thank goodness) was the part where I was asked if I would be interested in writing a book review of Wiped! Of course I said yes. But in fairness, I have written book reviews before. (My background pre-baby was journalism).
So ... Here's' where all the meanness came from.
When I was looking online at book reviews I came upon a "satire site" that made fun of Eckler's work. And I have to admit I read a few posts. In one of the posts the writer made fun of me for being a positive commenter on ninepounddictator.
I know I should have ignored it. But, it was not fair to me. Yes, I really like her, and yes I pretty much always comment on her blog. And, yes it is always positive. But that is because she is a good writer. Her blogs, like a lot of her other writing, make me laugh. Nothing makes my day quite like going on to her site and seeing a new post. And I, as a reader, have the right to say that. I never went out of my way to be a "super fan" so when someone made fun of me, and did the unimaginable - spelled my name incorrectly on their blog, on purpose, I felt the need to tell that person off. The only problem is that that person then totally made fun of me.
Okay. It was funny.
If you knew me in person it would be even funnier because I do get a little over excited about life sometimes. I am always at the brink of my emotions, I do get called (gasp) a drama queen occassionally.
But, just to clarify ...
I am a reader who likes Rebecca's work. I will 100% defend my choice to read her work. Just like I will defend my choice to read Ondaatje, Atwood and Kinsella. Yes. They are all different. But, I like them all.
I mean, seriously, Shakespeare was controversial in his time. And, yes, I am comparing her to the Bard. Why not. He makes me laugh. She makes me laugh. There are similarities. (I kindly put a link for those of you who may be here from said "satire" site who may never heard of William Shakespeare.)
I am not Rebecca's publicist. I'm not defending her work. Or her. She has survived her entire life without me defending her. That is not me being critical. It is me being fair. It is her book. She is the one who made the decision to say what she did - and I will wager a guess that she thought long and hard about using the word bitch to describe her daughter, and the context in which she used it. I don't know her - its not my place.
But what I will say is this. I've been called stupid, pitiful and uneducated. I am none of those.
Life is not about everyone agreeing about everything. As I said in the comments before, Rebecca walks a fine line. Some people think that she crosses that line. I don't. You're entitled to you opinion (and to those of you who shared it nicely - thank you)
Yes, her writing did make a huge impact on my life. She was the first author who said it was okay sometimes to be myself first and a mother second.
And, that's a lesson I will always appreciate.

Good Call, Daddio

Matty has this new habit of standing on his chair saying stuff.
If he has a point to prove he gets up on his podium and starts talking. It's hilarious.
"stomping is my favourite" he'll say as he stands on his chair and says what he wants to say.
We never know quite what he'll say. For instance he may stand on his chair to proclaim
"I HATE bathtime." (which he doesn't really)
Or sometimes he'll just say random things. These random things range from telling us which direction the rabbit hole is in (?), asking where his Bobo stick is (again ?)or he will do his favourite thing of all time which is to announce to us "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup History ..."
We don't really know where all of this came from.
And he has learned that if he has really ticked us off or has pushed us right to our limit, all he has to do is jump up on his little chair and say something extra cute and we will likely cave and not give him that promised time out.
It is really hard to put a child in time out when you are doubled over laughing.
It really is hilarious.
So tonight to prove his point Matt started jumping on the chair.
He was making a very bizarre point about how he wanted to eat more pam for dinner. We were not giving this to him, because we had no idea what he wanted.
So he started to jump - ON HIS CHAIR!
So Mike says to him "How high can you jump, Matt?"
Apparently high. So high that the chair went flying as did Matt.
Luckily Mike caught him. I was doubled over laughing.
And then for the next 5 minutes Matt decided to test his jumping ability from chair to daddy, chair to couch, chair and back.
Good call, Daddio. Good call!

Cousins

Matt and Kalysta hanging out

So today my cousin came over to visit.
She brought her absolutely adorable little baby, and we had a really nice visit.
It's kind of funny because we haven't really had a chance to hang out that much in the past few years. We used to spend a lot of time together through family stuff, but the fact that we went to university a long ways apart, and started careers, and had a bunch of everyday stuff going on sort of led us to not see each other that much.
Obviously having a child changed things even more. It made going out a lot more difficult, and honestly it's even harder to get together with people whose schedules are completely different than yours.
Anyway, since she's had her baby we've seen each other a little more. We also moved closer, so it's a much shorter drive to hang out.
I've gotta say, it's really nice to visit with someone who you forgot was pretty fun.
Like me, her baby was a bit of a surprise, and like me, she isn't exactly your typical Mommy and Me group participant. It was just nice to laugh about some of the dumb stuff about being a new mom. Like, the realization that all the other babies at the playgroup have the same shoes on (Robeez) so what are you missing?
She had me laughing about some of things that people totally get into. Like baby sign language (I'm not knocking it - I did baby sign language, but some people do go a little overboard). Or the whole developmental stages things.
At one point she told me that they recommended taping toys to the floor to teach the babies that things are stuck (cause and effect I guess?) She was like "Did you tape toys to the floor?" Ummmm ... no. If my child would stop crying long enough to play with a toy I was not about to frustrate him by taping it down. I kind of figured that not being able to walk and talk was frustrating enough to him. Why add more frustration?
All in all it was just nice to take a step back, have a nice visit, and hang out with someone I had forgotten was pretty cool.

Pictures of Last Night

Rebecca Eckler, Her Bad Mother, Moi

Me and my friend Michelle

Me, Her Bad Mother, Erica Ehm

(note the person crying in the picture is NOT me - it's the art on the wall behind me)

Life is Wonderful

Tonight was wonderful.
I met two people I have wanted to meet for a very long time.
First I met Rebecca Eckler.
I love her. She had a book launch. She invited me. If you don't know me it is hard to understand. I will say that anyone who knew me before I read her first book, knocked up, saw a huge change in me after I read her book.
Her second book, wiped, is amazing too. But her first book changed my life.
I have wanted to meet her forever. And I did. And I cried. (She totally dealt with it which just makes me love her more).

I also met catherine of Her Bad Mother.
In a different way I love her. Surprisingly I cried when I met her as well.
I wish I could explain. If you know me you don't need me to. Both women, in very unique ways, have had a profund effect on my life in completely different ways.
I left tonight feeling challenged and encouraged and, dare I say it, special.

I have spent 3 years trying to prove to everyone that I am worthy of being the mother to the most amazing child in the world.

Tonight I felt worthy of being myself - Laural Dawn Adams - mother, wife, daughter, and, oh yeah, my own person.

I knew something was missing. I just didn't quite know what.

So Rebecca and Catherine - thanks! I realized tonight (in the midst of my tears) that I still exist.

I LOVE you guys!!!!!

The Coolest Thing Ever

When I got into work today I was greeted by an envelope on my chair.
I don't get a lot of interoffice mail, so I immediately opened it. Inside was the coolest thing ever. It was a PURPLE soother. As in THE purple soother that is discontinued and that I can't find anywhere.
But it gets better. There was a note. But, not any note. A super cool cryptic note that left me clues to figure out who this person was. It was a math code.
I have to admit that I'm not exactly the type of person to crack codes, so I did the next best thing - I made a pdf of the note and forwarded it to someone who could help me out. And, help he did.
Anyway, I didn't exactly figure out the riddle, but I did figure out the person.
And, I was pleasantly surprised by who that person was.
That's all I'm saying about it. (you know - I do have a policy about blogging about work stuff - and I probably should have asked his permission before writing about this.

So, cause you are so cool - here is my secret message back to you, my friend. Here's a clue. The key to solving this is the number 17.

pfl iftb, zre

Purple Pacifiers

(really any colour is fine - not just purple - if it looks like this!!!)

My son just turned 3.


I thought by now he would not be using a soother. Really. I did. Back when he was a screaming infant he didn't even want a soother. But, I forced it so that I could have a little peace and quiet. It took a couple of weeks, but eventually he grew to love the soother.

We had soothers in all shapes, sizes and colours. He didn't differentiate. As long as he had something in his mouth he was happy.


Recently this has changed.

In the past few months he's been specific. First it was his orange soother that he wanted so much. Easy. It was the orange nuk soother, available in most stores. He was happy. We were happy.
But then he moved on to his purple soother.

I have no idea what the appeal was. Maybe it was the colour. But, I think it was the shape. Whatever. If he wakes up at 2 am and is happy to fall asleep once he has a soother I'm all for it. I enjoy my sleep. Life is good. There are bigger things to worry about. Afterall, I have read several articles where it says 4 is the age that kids need to give up soothers.


We're good. For another year.


Of course, these articles also say that kids tend to give up soothers due to peer pressure. The fact that most of the other kids in his class don't have one does not phase Matt. He just wants his soother.


Part of me thinks it's high time to rid our household of the soothers. But then part of me doesn't want to. He's not particularly attached to a stuffed animal or a blanket or, for that matter, a specific bed. Just his one purple soother.
What's a mom to do. I send him off to daycare every day. If having his soother makes him happier then I am all for it. Nothing like a little mommy guilt to keep the soother hanging around.


But ...


He only has 1 purple soother. He lost it on Friday - and since it was a holiday - I drove all around town trying to buy him a new one. I couldn't find one at any of the stores that were open.
So we went out on Saturday. No luck.

It became apparent that the beloved purple soother was no longer available.

I spent yesterday searching the internet. Even the company that makes them has none in stock. I checked ebay. Nothing. I checked online retailers. The only ones that had them were American and I could not order from them.
So, I was a little stuck.

Finally today I called the company, Playtex. They confirmed my worst fears - that the purple soother is discontinued. No, they do not have any in their warehouse. They just stopped making them.


They put me on to a similar one. They sware the nipple is the same. I ordered 8. Why? I don't know. They only had 17 in stock, so I figure if they are a hit we'll have a stash. If they aren't I will just give the unopened ones to my friends with younger children.

But, dear internet friends, if you come across these soothers in the store - think of me. And buy them. I will pay you back. Promise (okay, if you don't know me, just give me the store name - and make them hold it. Please).

You are my last hope.

We see our peaceful soother filled nights a thing of the past if anything happens to our precious purple soother.


Help!!!!

Still Running ... and how Bill fits into the picture!!!

Earlier in the year I blogged a bit about running - how I had some goals, how I was enjoying it, etc.
Part of the thing that motivated me was that someone told me that I didn't exactly have a runner's mindset. And, so that spurred me on to keep going to the gym and working on it.
I could have kept blogging about it, except a)my blog isn't about running and b)I don't find it that fascinating.
Don't get me wrong. Some runners have great blogs. I thoroughly enjoyed it when my friend had a goal of running in a race and kept a blog about training (and the name "Run, Ginny, Run" was also quite inspiring!).
However...
For me it's become a bit of a routine. About 3 days a week I go to the gym and I run. I'm impressed with myself because I'm in the 4th month of doing this and I'm still at it. I've done 5 km a couple of times and believe it or not I'm actually enjoying myself. If I have a crappy day I look forward to running it all off with my music to keep me going.
Today, though, I decided to take it outside.
Why?
Okay, because my hairdresser told me to.
Yep. I went to see Bill last week, and among other things he told me this - he does not have a runner's mindset either.
Actually, I told him about the comment my friend made, and he said "well, of course you don't have a runner's mindset. Neither do I. I can't imagine running a marathon."
It turns out that he runs about 30 minutes at a time, doesn't worry about distance or speed, and clears his head too.
And, he told me I had to keep at it - if nothing else for my mental health. And, he suggested I try running outside.
So I did. Today.
Now, either he hates me and doesn't want me as a client anymore and was trying to KILL me by suggesting I leave the gentle pace of the treadmill.
Or, he's trying to make some helpful suggestions for my health.
I'll go with the latter because I am pretty sure he could easily blacklist me, not accept me as a client and never see me again and it would be a lot less messy than killing me.
My point is - running outside is not easy.
Honestly, Bill is not the only person to suggest an outdoor run. Everyone I talk to who knows anything about running has told me to run outside. (about 10 people). It's just that Bill is the only one I listen to.
I knew I had to be worried about pace. But, that's hard!
I managed to do just over 2km in about under 15 minutes. I don't know if that's good or not, but really, ouch.
So, I will try it again.
And again.
And again.
My goal is to be able to run 5 km outside by my birthday (May 20th). Though, honestly, I don't envision myself going for a birthday run. I'm enjoying this, but not that much! I think a birthday latte will be much more my style.
That is, unless, Bill wants to come for a run, and that would change everything. Just kidding!

PS About Bill - he hated the colour and fixed the cut. I am no longer obsessively straightening my hair.

And He's Three...

Help yourself to more cake!!!

Yesterday's birthday was perfect!
Okay, so the cake for breakfast kind of made us all a little ill, but it was fun. I can't remember the last time I donned a birthday hat at breakfast and ate chocolate cake.
The day was pretty laid back. We made his real birthday cake, we ate junk food, we watched The Incredibles. The thing with a birthday being on a statutory holiday is that nothing is open so you are forced to take it a little easy. I liked that.
Matthew loved his gifts. Our big gift to him was a sand and water table. Since we have a backyard (a little one) now we figured we could put that outside.
The weather didn't exactly cooperate, but we still managed to fill the water table part up and have lots of fun with it.
He also got other fun stuff - a hula hoop, some books, a truck. We didn't overdo it (shockingly) and we had fun.
Then last night Matthew had his birthday party.
Because life has been busy, and because our house isn't exactly in the best condition ever, and because we are a little lazy - and mostly because my 4 year old niece thought this was the coolest idea ever - we booked Matt's party at an indoor playground.

It was really fun!
We didn't have tons of kids -I think there were 15 in total. It was such a laid back way to have a party. The kids ran around having fun and playing. The parents chatted off and on. We had a super cool monster truck cake. It was just a lot of fun.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Matthew!

To my baby, my big boy, my Love Bug who turns 3 today,

I can hardly believe it when I tell people that you are three. It seems so young and so old, all at the same time.

Three years ago today you were born.

You were such a surprise to me. I was lucky. I found out that I was pregnant with you when I was already three months along. I had no morning sickness. I didn’t fight for years to conceive. You were a surprise and a blessing.

Stupidly, since my pregnancy was so easy I thought that actually having a baby would be easy too. From the moment I went into labour I learned that I was sadly mistaken. You were born a couple of weeks early. I hadn’t even gone on maternity leave yet. In fact, when I was in the early stages of labour I was on the phone with my boss, going through notes for a meeting the next day. As I was discussing the location of files he was convincing me that I would probably want an epidural. I was in complete denial about what was to come.

Your birth almost killed us. Literally. I don’t like to talk about your birth story. For me it’s very sad. I thought birth would be a breeze. I thought you would come out and I’d love you to bits and life would be roses. I assured everyone that we’d be home a couple of hours after you were born.

I was totally wrong.

Your birth was traumatic for both of us. I only saw you for a minute. And then they took you away. We were both injured. You slept in an incubator. More accurately, you screamed in an incubator while I laid in my room a little dazed. We didn’t see each other for hours. And, when we did we didn’t bond. You wouldn’t stop crying. I didn’t know how to react.

I was terrified. I’d just given birth to a child who didn’t even like me.

Now I know I was wrong. That realization took me awhile.

We were in the hospital for a few days. We came home on Good Friday. I was so grateful that it was a holiday because it meant that your dad couldn’t go to work. It meant that I wouldn’t be alone with you. You scared me. You cried all the time. You were starving but didn’t nurse well. And I was in so much pain.

My whole life I’ve been so confident in myself. Maybe even a little cocky. You took me down a notch. You taught me that sometimes I can’t do it all. You taught me not to give up.

Our first year was a little rocky. We both cried a LOT. I have a calendar of your first year. Looking back, the entry that amazes me the most is the one when you are about 3 months old and I wrote “I made it through today without crying once.” That, Love Bug, was a turning point for me. That day I realized that I could survive motherhood.

As you have gotten older I’ve learned this more and more. When you were 15 months old I went back to work. I thought you would hate me. Instead I learned how much you loved me. When you first started daycare I didn’t want to pick you up – I made Daddy do that – because I was afraid that I would see you sad – or that I’d see you happier than you were around me. I was totally wrong. Picking you up became the highlight of my days. When you saw me you would come running to my arms. You’ve never stopped that. I can’t tell you how amazing it is to have a child look so thrilled to see you. It amazes me how you are never angry that I leave you. You’re an amazing person. You are so happy. You are happy to be with your friends all day, and you’re happy to get home.

Something that has defined you since birth is your strong will. You are a child with determination. When you’re happy we all know it. When you’re angry we know that too. When I take you to gymnastics classes it amazes me how much you stand out from the crowd. Some of the kids do things because their parents make them. You don’t. If you don’t want to walk on the balance beam no one in the world is going to make you – not mommy, not your coach, not any of the other kids in your class. Sometimes that frustrates me. It’s hard to have a child with such a strong will. But, I know that this will is going to get you far in life. I know that you will not be pushed around. I hope this is a characteristic that defines you as you grow up. I know we’ll struggle with it, but I want to encourage it also.

Something else that defines you is your beautiful, beautiful personality. You love shines through everything. I love how you always give extra kisses and extra cuddles. I love the huge smile that you give me when I get home from work. I love how you can be so angry one moment and then the next so loving.

You constantly amaze me with your humour. I love how you are learning jokes. I love how you say silly things just because you know they are silly. I love how you can convince me to buy you a banana split for lunch. Your smile lights up our lives.

Guess what, Love Bug?! We made it through the “terrible twos”. But you know what? I’ve loved them. I’ve loved spending the last year watching you learn and grow. There have been a lot of ups and downs. Some of the downs I could have lived without. The bus temper tantrums almost did me in. When you went through that biting stage – and I was afraid you’d grow up to be a bully – that really sucked. But, so much more of it delighted me. I loved taking the McDonald’s bus with you. I love going on train rides with you. I loved visiting the CNE with you and running through the sprinklers.

But, most of all I enjoyed getting to know you. I could never have imagined loving someone so much. I never thought that I’d wake up every day to a little boy who wants “just 2 more minutes” of cuddles. I never expected that I’d have a child who could see me sad and say “Mommy, you need a kiss and a hug.”

Three years ago you scared me. I couldn’t really imagine how I was going to handle being a mom. I had no idea who this little being was who had just entered our lives. I knew I loved you – that was never in question. I just never knew just how much love I was capable of. Thank you for loving me and letting me learn and grow along with you. I love you more than you will ever know or imagine.

Happy 3^rd Birthday, Matthew Thorin Wayne!!!

Love,
Mommy

Tag ... I'm it - AGAIN!!!

Yet again, Haley has tagged me. And, we all know I love a good tag. So, here are a few things you may not know about me. Or, for that matter, care to know about me.

1. Seriously, what the heck does "Misadventures of (Mommy) Laural" mean?
To be honest it wasn't that well thought out. Most of my life is a bit of a misadventure - you know, I always plan to have a straight forward kind of day, and that never ever happens. I added the mommy part in brackets because I love that part of me, but it's not all of me. However, so many of my misadventures happen when I am with my son, that I had to include it.

2. Dog person or cat person?
In the sense of ownership, I'm definitely a cat person. I have (had) a dog who now lives with my in-laws. I'm just a good cat owner because I like that if I want to play with my cat or dress her up I can (okay, I've only dressed her up once), but I can also just leave her to her own vices most of the time. Perhaps owning Jack, the worst behaved dog ever, kind of turned me against dogs. Because he peed on me, and everything in our house a lot. And he drove me crazy. I feel like if I owned a nice loving boxer, and had a dog walker then maybe I would be a dog person. Other people's dogs I love.

3. Brad Pitt or George Clooney?
Hello - I'm not even 30. I think they are both old enough to be my father! If I had to choose, I'd go with Brad Pitt (because I'm such good competition for Angelina).

4. What was your major in College, and what made you choose it?
I studied Journalism (print) at Ryerson. I chose it because I love to write and because I also debated PR which a lot of people go into from that program. As soon as I read the course description I knew it was the program for me. It helped that my big sister went to Ryerson (for Interior Design) so as much as I wouldn't have admitted it when I was younger, it was really cool to know I had someone around. For the two years she was there with me we would make sister dates and go for lattes every Tuesday. (I miss that tradition - though we do go to the gym on Tuesdays now!)
The program was amazing. I didn't end up becoming a writer but I loved a lot of the classes. I learned about a ton of things from diversity (Sabrina? Laural? Who are you?) to media law. I learned that I'm not nearly as good a writer as I thought I was, but I also learned that I enjoy editing, something that I would not have guessed.

5. What’s your biggest fear?
I am terrified of snakes. I HATE them!!! I don't know why, but I always have. I spent a summer in Africa, and did not realize until I read a guidebook on the plane that the particular region we were in was known as the snake region of Senegal. At first everyone thought it was hilarious, and someone had even brought a rubber snake to play jokes on people. But, people soon learned it was a definite phobia. I wore rubber boots everywhere I went for the longest time (which is how I got the nickname Rubber Boots). By the end of the summer I had sort of conquered the fear, had touched a snake, and didn't run away when I saw one. I also was taught (by a Senegalese man) how to kill a snake using a walking stick. I think in a pinch I could probably still do it. And, I can now go up to a glass case with a snake in it and NOT freak out. However ... snakes are still my biggest fear.
By the way, if I was a celebrity I would never admit this because then I would be afraid that people who hated me would send me snake postcards and stuff. So, if I ever become famous, please keep this fear to yourself. And, no, I have not seen the movie Snakes on a Plane. Duh. I'd have nightmares.

As for my tags ... I'm tagging one person because she said she has nothing to blog about lately. That is my adorable, Miss Lisa. Bonus points if you do this as poetry. Anyone else who feels like doing this tag, please go for it!

April Fool's ... And Other Fond Memories

I used to love April Fool's Day.
One of my best memories from growing up are my memories of April Fool's Day.
The best person to play an April Fool's prank on was my Grandpa. No matter what we thought up my grandpa "fell" for it. Every. Single. Year.
I can remember building up to the big day every year. My sister and I (with the help of my parents) would come up with something wacky and wonderful to trick Grandpa. My mom reminded me yesterday about the year we decided to tell my non-animal-loving grandfather that we had gotten a dog. My mom said that she practiced with us - helped us pick a name for the dog and everything.
One time I called to tell him that I was a refrigerator repairman and he needed to check his fridge (and he did). One time I told him that there was a snowstorm. (and it was sunny)
And each time I would scream "APRIL FOOLS!"
Of course he didn't believe any of these things. But, I didn't know that. I firmly believed that I tricked my grandpa every time.
That's just the kind of person that he was.
He was the kind of grandfather who let us put barrettes in his combover.
He was the kind of grandpa who taught us how to make pinocchio noses out of maple keys.
He was the kind of grandpa who had more patience than you would think humanly possible. And he was the grandpa who had about a million stories to share. And trust me - they were long.
He passed away a few years ago. It was hard. Over time the grief from his death turned into some really great memories - memories that I cherish.
But, on April Fool's day I always think of him. And I think about his amazing capacity to love. And the way he showed that love - with his patience, and good humour, and willingness to play along.
I was lucky. I had 23 years to experience this amazing person. To learn from him and to love him.
And, now I watch my own child with my dad - his Grandpa. A lot of the time I see the same characteristics. My dad plays with Matt. He loves him. And he's patient with him. And, I'm looking forward to the April Fool's ahead of us - when Matt understands the value of a good joke. And we can call and "trick" his grandpa.
Just like I did when I was little.
So, Dad, here's your warning ... when Matthew calls you next April 1st and says something like "Guess what ... we got a puppy." Check the calendar. Let the tradition live on!

My future April Fool's Prankster with his Grandpa