Usually I love taking the train every day.
Okay, more like, I prefer it over driving to work, and it's much nicer than the subway.
The thing with the GO train is this - you need to pick your seat wisely.
I have the luxury in the morning of being at a stop where there are still seats left. And I generally choose which level I am on. I have a regular car and there are a few seats I prefer. But, there is a bit of a science to picking the right seat. And you have roughly 1 second to choose before being pushed by someone wanting to sit as well.
The best seat on the train, in my opinion, is on the aisle (for quick exit) next to a sleeper. Sitting next to a sleeper allows you to read, listen to music or simply stare into space without being interrupted. I am a gregarious person, but I HATE people on the train who talk to me. At 7:25 in the morning, after the whirlwind that is getting me ready, getting matt ready, getting the cat fed and gettin gout the door, I'm ready for some peace and quiet.
So, yesterday I found the perfect spot. I was next to a self contained sleeper. In other words, her head was down, so there was no danger of her drooling on me and/or resting her head on my shoulder. She looked young enough that snoring would not be a concern. I sat, I got comfortable, I pulled out my book. Good start.
Until she lifted her head, and, in a zombie like state proceeded to blow her nose. But, it wasn't a gentle blow. It was a HONK that could truly have rivaled any loud nose blower I've ever met.
As did the people around me.
She simply refolded her kleenex, put her head down, and went back to sleep.
I went back to my book.
Next stop. Everyone got settled in (standing room only, suckers!!!) and again, the sleeping woman lifted her head did a huge honk, and fell back asleep. This time more people jumped. One woman dropped her coffee.
I tried not to giggle.
I knew we had another 2 stops. This was hilarious.
The same thing happened at BOTH stops. By the time I was at the last stop I was almost hysterical. At each new stop she'd suddenly wake up, honk, and go back to sleep. I could NOT stop giggling. I actually was beginning to think that this was Candid Camera or something.
I was so convinced of this that I actually reapplied my lip gloss and made sure not to slouch ... just in case.
Thankfully she stopped honking 5 minutes before we got to union.
It came as no surprise to me when later on in the day, when I had to take the subway to a doctor's appointment that yet again I was entering the world of the bizarre.
Again, I was seated next to a very normal looking person. Until she turned on her MP3 player ... AND STARTED SINGING ALONG.
She was quite literally the worst singer I may have ever heard. Not only could she not carry a tune, she was singing along to Beyonce (Bootylicious). I tried not to laugh. She then moved on to Pussycat Dolls at which point I did lose it. I had to get up. And move. I didn't want the poor girl to lose the spirit. I mean practice does make perfect.
And finally ...
When I was done at the doctor I went to get my bus. However ...
The bus stop was surrounded by police. There were people being arrested. Their were guns out. Crap. What did I do? I hopped on the next bus. Me AND the perpetrator hopped on the bus. He sat across from me. So ... the cops just stopped the bus and proceeded to get on and arrest the guy sitting across from me.
And then, the cop asked me if I could be a witness (I said no because I hadn't seen it all).