A Little OCD????

Today I went to pick up Matthew from daycare. I'd stayed home from work because I wasn't feeling great, and by 4:30 I was ready to have some company.
Because I was a little earlier than usual the supervisor was there. I was asking her about Matthew, how he's doing, etc. She mentioned to me that she's slightly concerned about some of Matt's behaviours. In particular about his obsessive nature.
It's not new to us. We've always joked that he's a little OCD. Except it's not terribly funny when it's not so much a joke as it is something being brought to your attention.
I know basically nothing about this. I always thought OCD was just washing your hands a lot. Matt just tends to be completely anal about lining stuff up. Like, if he has his cars out he wants them in a straight line. Or if he's playing with his trains he will get completely frustrated with trying to get them all on the track. And he will visualize a track and completely freak out when it's not working. But, I guess unlike some kids he doesn't let it go. A lot of kids will get mad and walk away. He'll either figure it out or have a meltdown.
I guess this has happened a lot at daycare lately. He wants toys to be very specific or he has a complete meltdown.
I'm thinking this is normal. I'm also thinking that I'm glad that my beloved doctor happens to be his doctor (even though I'm going to switch to someone local for Matt) because I know if I ask her she will likely tell me that this is not something to worry about.
I asked what they are doing when he has a meltdown. And, we both had to laugh because she told me they have been doing breathing exercises. Apparently the latest thing that they are doing in their training is learning deep breathing techniques and when one child has a meltdown they lead the class (or the group or just the child) in some deep breathing exercises.
I had to ask how it was going.
"Oh - they look at me like I'm crazy" she explained, adding that she did feel a little crazy. No doubt! I happen to believe that breathing exercises are effective, but I'm not trying to lead 15 preschoolers in breathing exercises.
So, to review ... my child may have some sort of obsessive compulsive issue and to resolve it we are breathing through it.
Oookay.
For now we'll go with it. I mean, why not? Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Just to be clear - I have done some basic internet research on OCD and ADD and ADHD. I don't think it's any of those. None of them remotely match what we're talking about. And, she didn't actually say OCD. It's more just some sort of obsession thing. Still - it's the thought of going through testing that worries me.

The Doctor Debate

Yesterday I had my last appointment with my family doctor until, as she put it, I have my baby.
Starting in early October I'll be seeing my new ob. I'm nervous and excited. And, I have to admit it was kind of weird saying goodbye to my doctor for a few months.
I love the woman.
She's cool. And kind. And she quells my anxiety.
And when she wished me luck I started to cry. Just a little. I felt pretty silly. Chalk it up to hormones, but I don't know.
I'm learning though, that it's really different going to an ob than a midwife. There are a couple of reasons that I'm going the OB route. The first is that I have a blood pressure issue. It's not huge, but it's there, and so we need to watch it - and it's no fun trying to switch to an ob halfway through pregnancy (I almost had to last time). Also, we debated back and forth a lot about having a c-section. I'm not 100% sure on this, but again, I would like to be with the same doctor the whole way through and this will make it easier.
But, there's still so much to think about.
Like, did I make the right doctor decision? I live about 45 minutes outside of the city I work in (Toronto). So, I decided to go with a doctor in Toronto. Workwise it makes sense. I take the train to work everyday, and if I go with a doctor in my hometown then I will almost have to take a day off, definitely half a day off, every time I have an appointment. Instead I'm going to a doctor's office just up the street from my work. It's a 20 minute walk or a 5 minute cab ride.
But, what if I get sick?
What if I don't have a c-section and I have to drive in labour to the hospital 45 minutes away???
And, my other concern - I had no clue that I need to bring my baby not to the OB but to a peadiatrician within 48 hours. With my midwives they came to me - and took care of the baby for 6 weeks. This is all new.
Of course, I got stressed when my doctor told me this. but she said I just need to look now and I will find one, and if I don't I can go to her. But again, she's in Toronto, so as much as it's fine for me, it's not good for a baby.
But ... we'll see.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems that this time around I'm so anxious about the weirdest things. I'm not even feeling the kicks yet, and I'm already worried about finding a paediatrician. Ahhh!

Ohhh Boy

Last night Mike got a new phone.
He's had a pay-as-you go phone for a couple of years now, and we've been talking about upgrading for awhile. He uses it a fair bit and nothing annoys me more than when he runs out of time on his card and I can't reach him.
So we decided to go with a plan. Thanks to it being back-to-school time we got a great deal on a monthly plan and Mike got a phone he really wanted. It looks just like a blackberry but it's not.
And it has a camera.
So, after going through the whole process of getting the phone activated and figuring out the plan Mike started to take pictures.
It was pretty funny.
The evening went on and I was in my pyjamas and feeding the cats. Mike came into the kitchen and tried to ambush me with the camera (silly, since I am not one of those people who minds getting their picture taken).
So, I saw him coming and turned around and flashed him - a lovely chest shot.
I know - CLASSY!
But, it was really funny. To both of us.
That is until Mike admitted that he can't figure out how to delete. That's right. My computer genius husband cannot figure out how to delete me half naked from his new phone. The shiny new phone that he is bound to show his friends.
We do have options. We can take the phone back to the store and have them show us how to delete. Yeah. No.
So for now, my beloved husband has been told he must keep his phone password locked and figure out how to delete the picture. Truthfully, he probably knows how and is just holding it over me!
All I have to say is that I'm extremely grateful I'm not a celebrity - cause that would not be a pretty picture to end up on Perezhilton!!! (it could be worse, I could have pulled a Britney. But, I'm not that crude, thanks!!!)

In Case You Haven't Guessed ...

I can finally announce ...
I'M PREGNANT!!!!
I have to admit, it's been killing me to keep it quiet for so long, but this week marks 12 weeks. And, believe me, unlike my first pregnancy, I'm definitely already showing. I was able to hide it for awhile, but not so much anymore.
Okay.
So that's the news.
Are you surprised? Okay, maybe not so much if you've read between the lines. I've been kind of alluding to it a bit in the last couple of months. That's mostly because unlike with Matthew (who was a surprise when I found out at 11.5 weeks) I've been feeling really pregnant. I've been sick and tired and hormonal. I'm not whining. I know a lot of people have it way worse than me. And, I made the decision that when I was pregnant I was going to suck it up and not call in sick from work and whine too much to Mike. So far so good.

But, before that ... I have to admit I wasn't sure if we were even considering a second child. In fact, the other day I was on the phone with my mother-in-law who was understandably excited to hear the news. I said "well, were you that surprised?" and her response was yes, because she got the impression one may be enough.
And, she was right.
For the longest time one was enough. Truthfully, one still is enough. I love Matt more than I could ever imagine. And, if I were to have no more I would be content.
Matt's birth and his first year were really really rough on me. You won't find his birth story on this blog. You probably wouldn't hear his birth story if you met me in person. It's really personal. There were so many aspects of it that went wrong. Primarily for me it was all of the emotional stuff. After he was born I literally didn't even bother going to see him. About 5 hours after he was born my mom had to step in and insist I go see him (he was in the special care nursery) because I hadn't seen him yet - nor had I asked to.
Forget all the other details - and there are many - I'll suffice it to say that I didn't bond with my child for a very long time. (effects of post partum depression). Even saying that much makes me cry still.
And this, more than anything, is what scares me about having a second child.
I'm afraid of going through that again. I'm also afraid of not going through that and feeling like I love my 2nd child more than my first.
I've spoken at length with my doctor about it - and I've been to counselling. So, not to worry.
But, my point is that it's all these emotional fears that have been in the way. Well, that and money and timing and desire.
A few things changed my mind.
I have to admit that I've always said that I wasn't going to have another one until I felt that desire to have one.
And, at Matt's 3rd birthday party I did. My friend brought her adorable baby. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I left that party knowing I was ready.
The other part of it is that I read Haley's blog a lot. She had a similar issue to me - she had prepartum depression (so kind of the opposite of post partum depression because for her it was before the baby while for me it was after). When she decided to have another one and deal with her depression issues - but still do it anyway - I was really inspired. It was what spurred me on to go to my doctor and talk about my fears. No, there's no guarantee that I won't deal with it again, but instead of trying to hide it my doctor is going to make sure that she is on top of things early on.
And so now we have another 28 weeks to go (and grow!)
I'm thrilled. And terrified. And excited. And, I'm really wondering if I will be able to manage 2 kids at once (I'm keeping Matt in daycare for awhile after the baby comes ... I'm not crazy!)
But, I'll leave those concerns for later and for now enjoy my growing belly and excitement!

Ouch!

This morning Matthew and I went grocery shopping bright and early.
We're off to my in-laws later today, and since Matt was up at the crack of dawn (and by association I was) I decided to be the nice wife that I am, let my husband sleep and get the week's groceries.
Since we had a fair but to buy we decided to go to the store that is cheaper - just a few blocks away.
At the entrance to the store (inside) are flowers.
Matt knew we were going to see his Oma today and thought she would like some flowers. We took a long time choosing and finally found the "right" flower.
We put it in the cart and off we went.
About 2 minutes later a bee flew out of the flowers and stung me in the ear.
OUCH.
I tried to suck it up and keep going, but I was in serious pain and bleeding. And swelling. Matt was freaking out too since I was dripping blood and trying not to cry.
I finally walked over to a couple people in the butcher area. And burst into tears.
It was so embarrassing. Who does that? And Matt started to tell them what happened.
I've never seen people move so quickly. The one girl calmed Matt down while the man ran and got ice.
They brought me to the back room - and were pretty amazing. I felt dumb but it was just one of those things where you're trying not to cry but you're in pain so your eyes are welling up. So, I was trying to chill, and the man was trying to see how swollen I was.
After a few minutes we continued on with ice. Thank goodness Matt sat in the cart (I think he was afraid that I'd cry again). And, for some reason I continued grocery shopping.
What a morning.
I really hope the flowers are appreciated :)
(they will be...)

And She's Off ...

I know a lot of us have dreams and plans and hopes growing up.
I can remember all the things I wanted to do - for a long time I wanted to be a veterinarian. Some of my friends wanted to be fire fighters or doctors or pilots or teachers. Some of us changed plans (cause, you know, I didn't go past grade 9 science - I'm not a vet), and some people had their plans changed for them.
But, one of my friends has always had a plan to be an actor.
I've known her about 6 years - we met fresh out of university. We were both pursuing careers. It always amazed me when this friend of mine would talk.
She is a good actor, but she doesn't fit the cookie-cutter stereotype of being size 0 and having long blonde hair.
She's unique.
And she's good.
And she hasn't given up. Ever. For years she's been going to auditions, and making a living, as an actor. She doesn't exactly have a star on Canada's Walk of Fame (yet), but she's slowly making a name for herself. I've turned on the tv a few times lately and said "hey! It's Stef!"
As she's plugged away she's gotten somewhere. And it's exciting.
And even more exciting ... on Sunday she leaves for LA, to meet an agent thanks to a recommendation from someone who lives in LA. You know, someone who recognized her talents and is helping her get somewhere.
I couldn't be prouder!!!!
So, next week, think of my friend and send her the best wishes possible. I know I will be (even though I have to admit that it would suck if she moved there. Well, okay, not exactly, if she moves there and has the money to fly me in to visit ... that would not suck!)
Go get 'em Stef!!!

When Cats Bathe

Tonight when Matty had a bath, Rosie Rose Petal decided to join him.




There were several unsure moments and then ...


In she went. I only got one picture before she hopped back out.
You'd think the cat would learn. This is not her first swimming experience. And, she ALWAYS gets splashed when she is anywhere near the vicinity of Matt's bath.

Ahhhh ... you've gotta love cats!!!
You'd never get a picture of Mojo in the bath - she steers clear of the water as much as possible.

And, in other pet related news, when we got home tonight one of neighbour's dogs was roaming around. He is the sweetest Jack Russel. He came running up to us when he saw us walking down the path, and then tried to follow the boys to the grocery store.
His owner (who is always right there) was nowhere to be seen.
And, then the dog ran on to the road. It's a busyish road, and some cars luckily swerved to avoid him. I decided to bring the dog home. I just told him to come and he walked right with me. It turned out that the screen on his door came loose and the dog hopped right through the screen. It was one of those moments where you just feel good about life.
Everything was fine. His owner was really sweet about it too.

What would YOU do?

On the weekend I went to a garage sale.
It was great.
My nieces are really into Polly Pocket, and a family was selling about 3 or 4 Polly Pocket sets for $10. I was totally excited. I scooped up the box and off we went.
They were a really nice family. They threw in extra toys for free. They even helped my son catch some bugs in a bug catcher we were buying. So this was Saturday.
On Sunday Matthew and I met my sister's family for coffee and breakfast at this little bakery we go to. We brought all the Polly Pockets in and set everything up on one of the tables. (It's a really big space, and the staff had no problem with this).
The coolest of all was a Polly Pocket "Snow Cool Hotel". This thing is really neat. It's got a hotel and a little store and a snow hill where the dolls ski down.

And it's got a working skating rink. That's right. The skating rink works. How? With Magnets.
And, the entire time we were all enthralled with this hotel we didn't think anything about the magnets. It was pretty cool making little tiny dolls skate. (Admittedly, I think my sister, brother-in-law and I were more into this than the kids).
And then today my sister called me.
You know the magnets that make the thing so cool. They are lethal. This playset has been recalled! Just to be clear - I don't blame the family who sold it. The woman teaches grade one and was super nice. I'm guessing she didn't know.
Neither did I!
The playset currently resides in my parents' basement. We often bring over toys for the kids to have there.
So, now my sister and I are debating. The truth is - the magnets are in the skates so we could just take them away. Or supervise. We really like the toy.
But, then, if we return it we'll get more money back which we could totally put towards something safer. Plus, we'll have essentially made money on a garage sale toy. I sort of feel bad about that. But, not really.
And then there's the bother. I don't really think that the kids will swallow the magnets. I think we're pretty safe. But, there's always the chance...
I don't know.
What would you do?
I have to admit, now that I've written this out I'm probably going to call my mom to tell her - and we'll return it.
But, thinking of all the little pieces .... It will take hours!!!

Not Quite As Planned

Last night our family went to a wedding reception.
It was the kind of cool, swanky wedding receptions that people have when they aren't 23 years old and trying to meet everyone's expectations, including their own, of the perfect wedding. There was no seating chart, no banquet hall, no dance, no huge announcements of the wedding party.
It was a stand up affair where everyone ate high end yummy appetizers and there was babysitting for kids.
And outside there was this french fry making station and they just kept handing out the world's yummiest fries.
It was pretty cool.
Except that Matt did not want to stay in the kids room, or with us or anywhere. He wanted to RUN. Mike was hot. I was feeling a little ill. And I wore stupid shoes that hurt. I should have worn running shoes to chase Matthew.
We didn't stay as long as we had planned.
We barely made it to dinner.
And when Matthew jumped in front of the long line of people to grab food with his hands (again, these were swanky uber-cool people he jumped in front of) I knew it was time to leave. It was that or lose my mind ... and temper.
My parents tried to help out. They offered to take Matt for a walk. But, the truth was I had totally worked myself up, I was kind of freaking because Matt was refusing to go to the bathroom.
So we left.
I'm okay with this.
I've learned in the past 3 years that when Matthew gets started and gets me started it's better to remove myself from a situation than to drag everyone down with me. When I feel myself close to tears I walk.
Truthfully it's partly because when I just.can't.control my child, no matter what I try, I revert back to this feeling of complete parental insecurity. I try. I try to be strict and I try to be nice and it doesn't work.
And then I realize that maybe, just maybe, it's not my parenting but the fact that it's a situation that Matt doesn't do well in. And that's okay. (I told our daycare teacher the other day about how much I hated gymnastics because Matt had a meltdown every week. She told me that was probably just him letting me know it's too much for him. good point).
So we left.
After an hour.
And then we went home. Of course the Gardiner (the highway that gets from the reception venue to our house) was closed. Mike opted for the Lakeshore. And then we drove down to the street right next to the lake. Both were extremely slow.
The truth was NONE of us minded.
It boggles my mind how we were all a little nuts at a beautiful reception with yummy food and good music, but put us in a van that isn't moving and we're having a great time, laughing, singing along with the music and basically chilling.
Until Matt announce "I need to pee on the potty. NOW"
CRAP!!!!
We were stuck in traffic. As we had been for an hour. Luckily I spied a Shoppers Drug Mart. They don't generally have public bathrooms, but I figured I could ask. So, I took Matt out of the van (Mike didn't have to pull over - we weren't going anywhere) and we ran to shoppers to beg for a bathroom.
We were in luck. The manager came and brought us to the bathroom. And, we made it just in time. And, thank goodness we did because Matt needed to do both #1 and #2. And that would have been messy.
And, I realized this was one of the first times that Matt told us he needed to use the bathroom as opposed to us dragging him. I think he's afraid of having an accident in the van.
Of course, Matt and I both realized we were hungry and thirsty, so after choosing drinks and snacks we went out and eventually we found Mike. He'd done some sort of bizarre turn and was fuming in the car thanks to the traffic.
We decided to try another route where we were also stuck in traffic. But, it was fine.
I took pictures. Matt ate about 5 rice krispie treats and eventually made it home. I realized Mike was about to snap, and we were all still a little hungry so we stopped at Mcdonald's for a 9:15 dinner.
All in all a nice evening.
Not what we planned. But, you know, sometimes the best things in life are the things that happen unexpectedly.

Austism Awareness

Ever since I've had my son, I've heard a lot more about autism. It's something that a lot of parents fear, but seems to be a lot more prevalent, or at least discussed a lot more in recent years. When I was growing up I didn't know anyone who was autistic. I'm not sure why. But, as my son is growing up autism has already touched his life.
One of Matthew's friends at his previous daycare was autistic. As I got to see this little girl on a daily basis and later met her mom, it actually put a face and a personality to something I had only ever read about. Her mom spoke not only of the challenges she faced but of her extreme love for her child.
Recently, my blogging friend, AndreAnna, wrote a post about her friend's child who has autism. It was beautifully written. So, today I'll spare you hearing about our toilet training joys and instead share a link with you.
Happy Friday.
http://www.diaryofadiaperingmadwoman.com/2007/09/1-in-150.html

Halloween

Guess what we realized today?
Halloween is coming up. As in, it's right around the corner. And I am not yet prepared!
This would not be a big deal for many people, but because Halloween is pretty much the only time I get out my sewing machine I need to plan ahead. And, I'm not the best sewer which means that I may end up re-stitching the costume a few times.
So I decided to ask Matt what he wants to be for Halloween.
The answer is he wants to be either Lightning McQueen or our New VAN!

Right.
Helpful.
I decided to look up Lightning McQueen costumes online. Guess what? They suck. And they are expensive to buy. I refuse to buy a crappy costume for $40 when I can get a cool light up Spiderman costume at Costco for $30.
And you see, this is why I will make it. The problem is, in the past Matt has been easy going. He was Eeyore one year and that costume was a relatively easy pattern.
But a vehicle?
I am clueless.
So, now we have to implement a plan of attack.
I'm thinking of trying to change his mind. For some reason he's really into pirates. So, I'm thinking that maybe I will try to convince him to go the pirate route and see if I could make that.
Or, maybe I'll search the internet and come up with something even neater.
All I know is that I LOVE halloween. I'm trying to come up with something for me!!! And, of course I'm taking the day off.
LOVE Halloween!!!!

Toilet Training in a Day?

Okay
Not quite.
But, this toilet training endeavour has gone better than I could ever have expected. I should back up and explain that Matt is 3 and a half, and about a year ago we decided to try potty training. And then 6 months ago we decided to try it. And we've had a potty for at least 2 years.
It's not like we're toilet training gurus.
But, this time it seems to really be working.
We started toilet training last Monday. We agreed with the daycare that we would all be on board and all support it. And then we got Matthew on board. I'm not sure how. I guess he was just ready to be a "big boy". His friends are in underwear so he wanted to try it out.
Truthfully, I think his body has been ready for a good year. He wakes up dry pretty much every day. And, he has been telling us for ages when he is peeing or pooping. He also just kept telling us that he "loves peeing in a diaper".
And, when your child is as stubborn as Matt it's hard to fight with that.
But, his stubborness is now working for us because he has decided that he is not going to have accidents.
For the last 3 days he has been accident free. He's telling us when he needs to go to the bathroom and willingly goes when we remind him. It's bizarre.
We decided to try bribery using licorice and stickers. He wants none of it. Really he just doesn't care. This morning I brought him licorice for peeing on the toilet and he said "I don't need it, Mommy. I'm a big boy now."
Tonight he convinced us he needs to wear underwear to bed.
Neither of us was really keen on the idea, but it seemed a little weird to say no to our child asking us to wear underwear.
I'm seeing an end to diapers. I really am!!!!!

A LOOOONG weekend

This weekend has been a little weird.
I took a couple of extra days off to clean and relax and I did neither. One day (Thursday) I spent running around and the next I hung out with Matthew. I was kind of planning to take Friday to myself, but when Matt realized that I was staying home he asked to hang out with me. And, so I said sure. He decided he wanted to chill and watch Treehouse, and even though I don't like to let him do that all day, I gave him.
And then yesterday (Saturday) we had big plans of going for a GO Train ride. The thing is, I was sick. It was weird. I got up, had breakfast, and then started to feel really crappy. So, I got Mike out of bed to hang out with Matt while I had a bath. I NEVER get the flu - seriously, I get plagued with colds and allergies, but I'm rarely sick. But, I was. I got out of the bath and decided to go back to bed. I slept till almost 2. I haven't done that in years. It was pretty random. It kind of freaked Mike out to the point that he went and got me chicken noodle soup from the grocery store. And then we all basically hung out, watching tv and just doing very little.
And, before long Mike admitted that he had a headache. And then Matt said he had a tummy ache.
By about 8, Matt had a huge fever and was just crying because he felt crappy.
Nothing could really calm him down - we even pulled out the magic cure-all in our house ... a Bottle of Chocolate Milk. He just looked at it and cried some more. This was not like Matt. We finally solved the problem by letting him sleep in our bed with the kitten. Both of the cats seemed to know he wasn't well because they were by his side all night. When we eventually moved him into his bed the cats followed.
But today everyone seems a little better. None of us feel like doing much. Mike's been offering van rides, but we can't seem to get it together enough to get dressed and go anywhere. It's very unlike us.
The funny thing is, this little break has done us all a world of good. We've hung out all together and relaxed. We've watched about 10 million episodes of Bob the Builder. And we've alternated between tvo kids and treehouse non-stop (based on the annoying level of the show).
But tonight we will all get dressed and go out to my parents' place for my dad's birthday. In my completely healthy state I bought salmon and marinated it with all sorts of herbs and lime, but I have to admit that I'm not exactly sure if I will eat it! So, it may be birthday cake for us and nothing else. But, I'm sure the evening will be fun and Matt will enjoy playing with his cousins.
It's funny how life is never how you plan it!

I'm Officially Old ...

I'm not even 30. I have only 1 child.
And today we picked up our new minivan!!!
I will spare you all of the details. But, the long and short of it is that our beloved Sunfire was not doing so well.
It was only 6 years old, but I bought that car almost immediately after getting my license. The poor car has been driven into parking garage poles, parking metres, garbage cans, drive thru signs, etc.
Oh, and my beloved husband (not me) has rear ended someone in it.
And, we kind of stopped doing regular oil changes. Routine maintenance kind of went by the wayside too. We wanted a newer car. A better car.
And then we test drove mini vans.
It was love at first test drive.
Matthew loves that there are 5 seats for him to choose from. And, if we ever decide to have quadruplets we're set!!!!
He also loves the roof racks. So does Mike. I don't quite get the roof rack appeal but who am I to argue?
I'm just a little scared about my driving ability. I had mastered the parallel park in the Sunfire thanks to using mirrors. In fact I can parallel park most cars. Vans ... we'll have to see. I was a little too worried to even go through the Starbucks drive-thru today. (despite the fact that I could show off my power windows. I know - I'm a dork!
And, as for Matt ... He's still quite content riding his "motorcycle" (usually he wears a helmet)

A Day Off ...

So what would you do on a day off?
If you were me you wouldn't take it easy. No. Not all All!
First of all, I woke up early - not my usual 5am, but about 6:30. Thank goodness because our alarm clock is broken.
And then the day went from there.

Once I'd drop the boys off at daycare (Matt) and work (Mike) I went to visit a new daycare. I'm really happy with our current daycare and I'm not about to switch him. But, this daycare is new, and I wanted to check it out. I've been debating what we will do when Matty is in junior kindergarten and I wanted to see some options. (this place has a full day school program). Anyway, it was really nice. I think if it had been open when we were looking at daycares it would be have been a tough choice between that and what we chose. It was that nice. And they have fair rates.

But, the visit was nice and quick so I called my sister to see what she was up to. She was having coffee with one of my nieces and her friend and daughter. So, I went to join them for a coffee. It was a nice surprise visit and there was a lots of excitement outside with fire trucks and ambulances outside.

And then , the highlight of my day, a visit to the dentist! It's been way too long since I got a cleaning and I finally booked one and actually went. It really has been 5 years since I have had my teeth cleaned. I really hate it. But this experience went just fine. I had a great hygeniest and after we chatted a bit she suggested that we split it into 2 sessions and skip the flouride treatment (since that's what I dread). So all in all it was fine. Apparently dental technology is vastly improved since they now have some water device that eliminates all the scraping. And, she didn't discover any cavities. Phew.

So ... of course the day continued when my mom met me and we went for lunch and then a couple of hours of shopping at Costco. Would you believe my mom had NEVER been to Costco? Seriously. We had a nice time. It was quiet there so we were able to shop quickly and enjoy it.

And, then I finally got home to have a break and then suddenly decided to make shepherd's pie. So, i went to the grocery store and then whipped it up before I picked up the boys. I actually fell asleep after dinner.

Really, tomorrow. I will take it much easier!

Work

I don't tend to post a lot about work.
It's not because I don't enjoy work. In fact, I really enjoy my job. I'm one of the few people who can say that she has a great boss, and all the "bosses" on up to our CEO are people that I enjoy. And, a lot of the people that I don't directly report to, but I work with or around, I mostly like them too.
I also like my job.
But here's the thing. My job was sort of kind of lacking in definition for awhile. I love having the kind of job where I never know what's coming next. I would HATE it if I could tell you what I will be doing every minute of every day.
But, I got a little frustrated by not having one specific project that was mine to sink my teeth into and have some control over.
So I brought this up - a few times.
And voila - I got more responsibility.
Are you prepared to laugh???? I got handed the job of webmaster for the new intranet site we're developing. Seriously.
I'm laughing because figuring out how to put a link in blogger took me months. If you're wondering why you are not on my side bar, it's likely because I find it difficult and usually screw up the code and have to get my husband to fix it.
So, when my boss told me my new responsibility I had one of those moments of sheer gratitude that someone had that much belief in me and yet sheer panic that this was something I could NOT do. I didn't have much time to think about it because I ended up going to meetings and being thrown into the deep end of things.
That was a month ago.
And ... I'm loving it.
I should explain that I don't do the technical stuff. I'm still slowly learning the difference between searching and browsing and what a portal is. I never understood the importance of a site map and now I do. And I'm figuring out programs that I have never used before.
And then today I had a conference call. And that conference call was one where I had to make decisions and judgement calls and set up timelines without my trusty boss (and, admittedly really good friend, but in this case that's an aside) sitting there agreeing with me.
And then there was a moment - the technical guy started talking about analytics, and discussing the role that google analytics could play. And in that moment I realized that I understood. And I was able to contribute.
And I even made some good points and suggestions.
And today I realized that sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. There are some things I'm good at and I pride myself on them. But, sometimes I limit myself and think I can't do something. And, it takes being thrown in to realize that fears can be pretty stupid.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm going to quit my job and become a website designer. But, I do think that I'm going to embrace some of this technology and realize that I need to limit myself a little less.
And really, one of these days I'll update those links.

Seniors Night with Our Preschooler

We thought tonight was kids eat free night at our local buffet restaurant.
Suffering from all of us being starving, a meeting that we had to go to directly after work, and the knowledge that we had neither fresh dinner food nor clean dishes we decided to pack it in and go out for dinner.
About 2 minutes from the restaurant Matthew told us he would rather be at home or at McDonalds. But we persevered. We're all about kids eating free.
Too bad it was SENIORS night.
Let me paint you a picture.
We walk in. The place is packed with seniors there for a good deal. Seniors who believe that children should be seen and not heard.
We enter with a precocious three year old who decides to announce that he is wearing UNDERWEAR because he is a BIG BOY! He then proceeds to carry a booster seat throughout the restaurant to where we are seated.
And then when we release him to the buffet (with the instruction to stick with us and not push) he makes a very artistic beeline to to whipped cream display narrowly avoiding several people with canes.
Both Mike and I tried to chase after him not being able to so easily avoid the seniors and ended up shouting across the buffet section "WALKING FEET AND DON'T TOUCH" while praying that he did not shove his hand in the whipped cream.
This was all in the first five minutes.
The evening wasn't all that bad.
Once Matt calmed down and realized that he was scaring the elderly he relaxed. He started to listen to us and stayed in his seat. He had a lovely chat with the waiter. And the entire restaurant probably now knows that he is toilet training and wears big boy underwear now. He thankfully didn't have an accident.
And bonus! The waiter didn't end up charging him for his meal so I guess it was kids night after all!
And, oh yeah. Day 2. He's doing really well using the potty. He talks about it non-stop. He is proud of himself.
We're pretty proud too!!!

Toilet Training - Day 1

So by some miracle, Matthew has bought into this whole toilet=big boy idea.
I am getting excited.
Day one of the toilet training challenge went really well. It's like he decided to cooperate with us today. He got out of bed and went to the potty without an argument. And then he chose his underwear (it was a bob the builder day).
He not only tried to pee twice before we left, but when we got to the GO station he decided that he wanted to try out the train station bathroom. (actually, it was surprisingly clean).
He did really well all day.
He had a couple of accidents, but all in all he was into it. He went to the bathroom by choice, and was pretty excited to be wearing his Cars underwear at the end of the day.
So we decided that we are going to give him a pretty cool reward this weekend. If he stays consistent with his training (by that we mean he doesn't fight with us or his teachers when it's time to use the potty, and if he doesn't purposely have an accident) then on Saturday he gets to go on a GO Train ride.
To Matt GO train rides are one of the coolest treats in the world. We've decided that we'll hop on the train in the morning, maybe grab ice cream or lunch and then come back home in the afternoon. Because I have a monthly pass I can bring Mike on the train for FREE (on a weekend) so it's actually a really cheap and fun treat. The other great part of it is that the CNE is on in Toronto, so there will be lots of other kids on the train. I know it's a bit of a hassle usually, but Matty can be a little noisy or crazy and it won't really matter. I like that.
Besides ... I'm sure he will be THRILLED to use the potty on the train. When we took the train to Montreal I think the visit to the bathroom was the highlight.
I know this will be a long road to being potty trained, but I have to admit, I'm kind of looking forward to the end result.

Breastfeeding - Don't like it? Suck it.

For the last few weeks I have been following the stories (this is an excellent summary) about breastfeeding mothers and some of the challenges they have faced. From a local woman being asked to cover up at a YMCA pool deck to a Canadian being kicked off Facebook for showing a picture of her baby nursing to a woman in the States being asked to cover up at Appleby's and finally Bill Maher's opinion of it all - it seems that breastfeeding has been in the news a lot.

Personally breastfeeding was a funny stage for me. I found it very personal. Some of my friends would show me pictures of their babies at the breast and though I thought the pictures were lovely I never took those pictures myself. Of course I was comfortable taking my top off when I was home with just my baby or my husband and baby. But if anyone was there I was covered.

Still I was not hesitant to breastfeed in public. Give me a nursing blanket and I was good. I got to the point where I would nurse in malls and restaurants. I liked the freedom. Matt ate a lot. If I only breastfed in the privacy of my home, I would never have left. The child ate on the hour.

Bottom line - I think that the protection of breastfeeding mothers is extremely important. And, I can honestly say that I was never asked to leave a location or not attend any event due to having a nursing child.

So when all of this latest controversy came up I was sympathetic but I couldn't exactly relate.

That is until a couple days ago when I received an e-mail. Someone I know is getting married and wanted to know if I would still be breastfeeding at her wedding (when my future child is about 8 weeks old). I had an honest answer - I don't know. I'm not sure if I will nurse baby #2 or if I do for how long. But, I assured her, it's not like I would whip out a boob while she was walking down the aisle. I wasn't sure how else to respond. She's never seen me in the role of mother, so I guess she felt justified in asking me about my breastfeeding habits.

But apparently, my understanding was a little off - her response was that the infant is not welcome - so unless he or she can go without nursing (for close to 10 hours when you add in travel time and the length of the wedding) I have been asked to uninvite myself.

I am shocked. I am outraged. And quite honestly I am surprised at the utter tackiness of the request.

Sorry - if you are too shackled to your infant don't bother attending. Not welcome.

The bigger message to me - breastfeeding will ruin "my day" and you must be kidding if you think you would bring a newborn with you. So, do me a favour and wean - or bottle feed - or pump ... but don't bring that appendage that you may be sustaining with your breasts. That would be uncouth, and "other guests wouldn't understand".

The more I think about it the angrier I get. A wedding is a one-day event. Am I supposed to wean my child - and possibly affect this child's health (not to mention my budget and let's be honest my post-partum weight loss) so that I don't potentially ruin some bride's day? And does this person really think that I would ruin her day by doing something she deems inappropriate (breastfeeding) or letting my child scream?

Her response - that obviously this is any issue so she has to talk to her fiance about it. Why - to ask his opinion on whether or not i should wean my child???? To see if her words were offensive. So that he can give a verdict on whether or not someone you just effectively uninvited is now welcome?

Her issue, really is that she doesn't want any children there. As I said to her, there is a huge difference between a child that needs to be near its mother to survive and a family that isn't willing to shell out for a babysitter.

Truthfully, I understand that she doesn't want children there. And, perhaps my assuming that it was understood that a newborn who is exclusively nursing was inappropriate. But, to bring breastfeeding into it - and to ask me not to come if I am???? Disgusting. Inappropriate and downright tacky. And yes, I did reply. In a lengthy e-mail. And, as far as I know she is no longer talking to me. And, as much as I care, I kind of don't. Because there are some things I'm willing to stand up for - such as the right to breastfeed - and the fact that if you have a problem with it, or with me, say it nicely. Don't send me an e-mail implying that my thought of bringing an infant to a wedding is a joke.

Welcome to 2007, friends.

I get it - I truly understand she doesn't want my child there. And believe me I have already let her know that we will not be there. But as for me and my breasts - that is my business and no one else's.

Wish Us Luck

As discussed by Matt's daycare teacher and myself, tomorrow is Day 1 of potty training.
What? You think you have read that we were potty training before.
That's right. You have. But, I have potentially the world's MOST stubborn child. And he likes his pull ups and diapers.
He knows when he has to pee and poo. In fact he will tell me when he has to pee and poo. He just refuses to do it in the potty or toilet.
And this stubborn streak is getting worse.
When we say big boys wear diapers he says "well, I'm a baby."
And on and on.
I'm thinking the toilet training may kill me.
Mike and I are well aware that this will put a strain on our marriage. So, we're hoping we get this done pretty quickly. It's all hands on deck and the diapers are being hidden.
Bedtime only - though he doesn't need to wear a diaper at bedtime. He is always dry in the morning.
I have a feeling that these next few weeks will be a battle of the wills. Fun.
We went to Walmart and stocked up on toilet paper and underwear.
I'm thinking we probably should have stopped at the liquor store too.
The one thing they told us is that we need some sort of bribery treat. Guess what we chose? GUM! I know. I think that may make us somewhat bad parents. But, it's the only thing that works. Well, that or a bottle of chocolate milk, but I'm pretty sure that there's something wrong with rewarding our preschooler with a bottle for being a big boy.