The Mischevious Mom at the Art Gallery : A Review and an Interview with the Author

When I decided to switch direction on my blog, and focus more on what I'm interested in - namely reading, and learning more about authors, I knew exactly the person I wanted to ask.
The thing is, when you have a favourite author it's amazing. What's even more amazing is when you e-mail that author and ask if you can interview her, and she says yes.
Of course my favourite author is Rebecca Eckler. I've been reading her since she was a columnist. When I read her book Knocked Up, I pretty much decided she was the coolest person on the face of the earth. What I didn't know is that she's also probably one of the nicest people you can meet.
I've read all of her books: Knocked Up, Wiped, Toddlers Gone Wild and Rotten Apple. I enjoyed all of them, and when she teamed up with Erica Ehm to write a children's book I was excited.
I could finally introduce my kids to her work.
Guess what? They loved the book, like I knew they would.

You can purchase her book now on Amazon. I bought mine at Chapters. Go get it. It's amazing!

The Mischievous Mom at the Art Gallery

The book is about a mother, Mischevious Mom, who comes home from work, puts her blackberry away, and takes her kids on an adventure. In this case she brings them to an art gallery. The kids think it will be boring until their mom brings them into a room with a sign on the door that says "Do Not Enter - VIP's only!" And from there they have quite a night.
It's a fun book. It's quick to read, and the pictures are amazing.
What I loved about this book: I could relate. I felt like it was written for me, a mom who works all day and then comes home and tends to mix it up a bit.
My favourite part of the book: I loved the story of course, but I also loved the dedication.

"This book is dedicated to all the parents who worry that they never have enough time to have fun with their kids ... We believe the best gift you can give to your kids is a love of adventure and a belief that anything is possible - if you have the guts to go for it."

If that's not the message I want to send to my kids, I don't know what is.

Interview with Rebecca Eckler

I had the chance to ask Rebecca a few questions about the book, and about her writing career.

You've now written books from several genres: Young Adult Fiction, Memoir and now Children's literature. Which was your favourite to write, and will you continue to write all three kinds of books?

My favorite book to write was The Mischievous Mom At the Gallery, our children's picture book. Why? Because it was just plain fun, from beginning to end! Writing it with Erica was fun, showing it to my daughter in the early stages was fun, editing each word with Erica was fun, choosing the illustrator was fun. Non-Fiction, my mommy memoirs, was a little less fun, but still fun. Because it was about my life, and then about my daughter, so I liked writing them, because some moments were funny in the book. I also liked them because, in Wiped! Life with a Pint Size Dictator, I really think I helped a lot of people suffering from PPD, which is rarely talked about. Same with Knocked Up. People rarely complain about how shall-we-say? uncomfortable it is to be pregnant, and how terrifying it is? So, the mommy memoirs, I liked because I felt like I was writing to other mothers, who could relate and learn they are not alone. As for the teen fiction and the upcoming adult fiction, well, that was HARD WORK. No matter how light and breezy the book may comes across, writing fiction is hard! That's why I admire any other who publishes a book. It's hard work, even chick lit is hard. Way harder than you'd think.


You've written memoirs about your life as a mom - from learning about being a mom and pregnancy in Knocked Up, to parenting challenges in Toddlers Gone Wild. Now in The Mischievous Mom at the Art Gallery, even though the mom is a fictional character ... she seems a little like you. (and Erica Ehm, and me, and a lot of your readers who are mothers). When you look at back at the past six or seven years, do you think your books reflect how you've grown as person - and a mom?

Definitely. Because I am not the mother of a baby, or toddler anymore. I'm now the mother of a little girl who understands emotions and talks and reads. Both Erica and I are the Mischievous Moms. Our children (don't hate us) are really, really well behaved. So they only make us look mischievous in comparison. I've grown up, definitely, but I also like acting like a child sometimes, with my daughter, because it's a magical moment and, maybe she won't want to hang with me in a few years. I think that's probably inevitable...so I want to enjoy every minute of this time in her life, which includes writing this book for her and her peers.

For those of us who have followed you since you were a columnist - we know you and love you as a bit of a shit disturber - and I mean that in the nicest way. Is that changing ... or do you still have some stuff up your sleeve?

Shit Disturber? Really? Joking. I am so NOT a shit disturber. We're talking A student! I work really hard. I prefer to think of what I do as starting conversations! You may not like what I have to say, or maybe you do, but it's good to get any sort of conversation going, don't you think?

Working alone - or writing with someone else. Which do you prefer ... and why?

Well, for my books for adults and teens, I prefer to write alone. I have very distinct writing style.  But I would, and will, write more children's books with Erica. We have the same work ethic. She's amazing to work with. Never say never though. If I could find someone like Erica, who was so easy to work with, maybe.

What's next?

Fiction book out in fall, called Clover and The Lucky Sperm Club. Kind of chik-lit, but better. Next up, a non-fiction book, but I can't divulge that right now. We're in the middle of contracts. And I'll start writing that in April. But you'll be one of the first to know, that's for sure! Also, the second part of the teen series is coming out soon. Right now, it's all about getting the word out about The Mischievous Mom Goes to the Art Gallery! And, praying, that people will buy it!


And completely unrelated to your newest book, but questions people really want to know

    * What is your favourite book or who is your favourite author?
    * Buffy the Vampire Slayer - love it, hate it or never watched it?
    * Current favourite tv show

Favorite book?  Lord of the Flies and The Romantic by Barbara Gowdy. (Also, all Margaret Atwood books.)

Buffy? Never watched. However, I do LOVE Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Favorite TV show at present? American Idol, anything on Slice, and pretty much bad reality shows (and any shows that go into diseases/siamese twins/obesity/19 children. I also have a sick fascination watching 16 and pregnant! BUT I CANNOT WATCH TODDLERS AND TIARAS! And I cannot wait for Dexter to come back!

Thanks, Rebecca!
As I said ... Coolest person ever! Go get the book. You'll love it. And more importantly, your kids will too.

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I'd love your thoughts and comments. This is new to me, but it was really fun! I want to do more reviews and interviews, so if you have any ideas or suggestions - let me know.

Irish

I'm Irish.
Well, obviously first and foremost I'm Canadian, but part of me is Irish.
My grandmother was Irish. She never actually visited Ireland, and if we're being totally honest, I don't even know what percentage of her blood was Irish, but with shocking red hair, and a firey temper, the woman could claim that heritage one hundred percent.
My grandmother, Nana, died several years ago. She wasn't exactly a warm and cuddly person. I have good memories of her, funny memories of her. And honestly, she wasn't always the nicest woman. She said whatever was on her mind, and that could include stuff like telling me I was too fat (when I was 7) and that I wasn't Irish enough because I had dark hair (compared to my sister with red hair). There was even a period where I refused to go visit her because she was a little too harsh about my hair, clothing and body shape. (I was 13) I suppose I could dwell on that. But, on St.Patrick's Day I don't think about that.  Not really.
I remember the one holiday that made her really happy - St. Patrick's Day.
The woman loved her Shamrocks. There was nothing like going to her house in March and seeing all of the leprachauns, pots of gold and shamrock's decorating the small apartment she shared with my grandad. She always wore a Shamrock ring, and believed in the Luck of the Irish.
Kooky yes.
And maybe I have that side of her personality.
The side that's not afraid to celebrate and be a little crazy. The funny thing is, time heals a lot of stuff. And it makes you look back at stuff in a whole new light. And on St.Patrick's Day I love to look back and appreciate my grandmother, and all the crazy kooky stuff she passed down.
So, tonight I'll raise a glass. To being Irish. To being her grandaughter. And to remembering the good memories we all pass down.
Happy St Pat's everyone.

Not to Sound Cryptic

Sometimes I need to get over myself.
I need to get out of my head and realize that just because I don't agree with the opinion of someone else, it doesn't mean I don't like that person.
Or that they don't have something to bring to the table.
Last week I asked someone a question. My question was sincere. But, I wanted to know how 2 people could have such a completely different outlook on one particular issue.
My question - it was answered honestly, and more importantly, sincerely. And even though we will most likely never agree on the topic in question, I can say that I've learned something.
I've learned that discussion has merit. And I've discovered that you can disagree on one huge issue and still respect the opinion of someone else.
Cryptic much?
Probably.
Care to weigh in on a discussion?
I'm fascinated by this story.

PS I changed the look of my blog. It's not great - but that's what happens when I play around and delete my template. Oh well ... I guess it's time for a change anyway.

Le Boeuf - or Why I Leave Cooking to Julie (and Julia)

 (not mine - but let's pretend it is!)

You know when people say that the Oscars is their Super Bowl? That's kind of me.
It's nothing compared to the Olympics, but I enjoy the fashions, and usually the show is pretty good. This year not so much. It was a bit boring. But, I was determined to make it to the end of the show, mostly because my favourite movie (duh) Julie and Julia was in the running for the best actress category for Meryl Streep.
Confession: I never was the world's biggest Meryl Streep fan. But, I loved her as Julia Child. And, I REALLY wanted Julie and Julia to win - for obvious reasons.
I decided an Oscars party was in order, and there's nothing I love quite as much as a theme party. I really loved that I could make something from Julie and Julia (or really Mastering the Art of French Cooking). So, with a nod to Julie and to Julia I decided on the most obvious choice for the movie - boeuf bourgignon. And, of course the requisite gimlet.
If you've seen Julie and Julia you know the scene that features that meal. Judith Jones (Julia Child's editor) was supposed to visit Julie Powell. So, she makes Boeuf Bourgignon and then burns it. Then takes the next day off of work to make it for a second time. And then Judith Jones can't come because the weather is bad.
It's a big part of the movie.
And quite honestly, one of the only things I really had the inspiration to try cooking. Julie Powell I am not. I don't even own Mastering the Art of French Cooking (does that make me less of a fan?). I suppose I could have tried something a little more daring, like eggs in aspic, but GROSS! (that would be eggs in gelatin - I googled the picture for you)

But, the boeuf ... I wanted to try it.
I should also point out that since the kids were part of the party, I went with the decidely un-French pillsbury weiner wraps. A time-tested favourite in our house.
I combined that with some salad (from my mom), a chicken dish for my sister, and a little junk food since it's a party.
Let me tell you. I now know why Julie had so many kitchen disasters. This was not an easy recipe. I knew that going in though.
My cooking confidence - not exactly there.
I had Mike helping me and two children running around the kitchen. I was googling how to saute mushrooms the Julia way, and how to brown braise pearl onions. It was a disaster coming. And I knew it. But I persisted.
I was actually doing pretty well. I had browned the meat and measured the wine.
Disaster struck with my attempt to simmer the whole thing. It seemed really quite easy at that point. Just dump in a bottle of wine, and sit it on the stove. However ... apparently the container I made it all was not made for the stove. Who knew?
Not me. (or Mike)
Admittedly, the only pot that seemed adequate for the job was the pot from my slow cooker.
I thought something was a little bit off when the pot made a funny noise. And then CRACK. It just sort of dissolved into a giant pottery mess. A giant wine-pottery-beef mess.  The stove was covered in wine. I was kind of covered in meat and wine, and I had no idea really what to do.
Normally this would invoke panic or at least some sort of meltdown.
But ... my panic was replaced by my excitement over the fact that this was also the recipe Julie screwed up.
Crisis averted.
Recipe re-started.
Several hours later my boeuf bourgignon was done. Just in time for the Oscars. It was brilliant. Well, except for the fact that Meryl Streep didn't win.
And the consensus?
Surprisingly everyone liked it. Well, the adults anyway. The weiner wraps ... also a big hit.

Amazing Women

So as it turns out, Saturday was International Women's Day.
I didn't give it much thought at the time (admittedly, I didn't even know until I walked past an upscale lingerie store that had signs declaring the right thing to do for International Women's Day was to get a good bra fitting. Really?)
Ironically, I ended up spending Saturday with 3 different women: one I've known my whole life, one I met in highschool, and one I met just recently. All so different. Yet all who play such a big role.
My sister spent the day with me. I've been trying to reorganize my house. It's a disaster. And, as we went through my closets and drawers I realized that this is someone I can trust with anything. As I whined my way through Ikea and home depot and practically threw a temper tantrum as she made me sort through every piece of clothing I owned, I knew she could take it. And, unconditional love and acceptance is a wonderful gift.
I also had the chance to have coffee with a woman I've long considered a mentor. I met her when I was in highschool. Unhappy with the co-op placement I had (at a crappy newspaper) I begged my teacher to let me switch to a different placement. I found this woman from the yellow pages, called and asked if she would be interested in letting me learn from her. That was 15 years ago, and I still am learning from her. Not all the lessons are about work. In fact, I'd say that a lot of what I've learned from her is by watching her raise incredible daughters who are taking on the world. I can only hope that my children one day emulate them. And I can only hope that one day I can inspire someone the way she has inspired me.
Finally, I spent the evening having a drink with a new friend. She's younger than me. Her kids are younger than mine. And our friendship is still new. We don't have that comfort of old friends, and yet we connect on many levels - and sometimes the beginnings of friendships are really fun. The craziest part of it all is that she's a little younger and her kids are a little younger, and she asks me for advice - about schools and parenting and going back to work. Me. The person who can look back at my first year of being a mom and thinking I would never survive. And she's asking me for advice. I can't get over it.
And that to me is International Women's Day. It's not about whether you can relate to the feminist movement (I often can't) It's not about what you do. Or how well you do it. Or how many kids you have (if you have any).
To me it's about giving what you can - and taking what you need.
And if International Women's Day makes me appreciate the women in my life ... I'm all for it.

And Away We Go ...

I'm not sure that making decisions based on a quote calendar given to me by my local pub is the best idea. But when the quote happens to be: "Only those who will risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go" (T.S. Eliot) - well ... I'll take it.
Pub calendar or not.
When I think about risks I think about courage.
I've always been fascinated by courage.
Do you want a definition of courage? "It is a quality of spirit that enables you to face fear."
I love that.
(and side note - my favourite thing to do when writing is either a) look up definitions of words or b) find relevant quotes - ever noticed this?)
The other day someone called me fearless. I don't think that's quite right. But courageous is a title I can embrace or at least aspire to.
When it comes to this blog I need to take courage.
I've been talking a lot about making some changes.
And here's where I'm at.
Mommyblogging - done.
I love my kids, and I'm sure I will still write about them. But, this need I feel to document their lives is not so necessary. I just want to be present with them and not worry about if that's bloggable.
Next step. Figure out what I love. Or, as Gretchen Rubin would tell me: Be Laural. Know what I love and focus on that.
Guess what I love?
Writing. More specifically, reading what other people write. And then meeting the authors. I have so much respect and love for authors. I can't imagine ever sitting and writing my own book. But, there's nothing better to me than being completely immersed in a novel, the sense of satisfaction when I'm done reading the book. And then googling the author. Meeting the author is the icing on the cake.
Two of the highlights of my life (besides, you know, getting married and having babies) have been meeting Rebecca Eckler and meeting Julie Powell. For me their writing was life changing, and I needed to say that. And know more.
And I realized that this is what I want.
To meet writers. To read. To write about what I'm reading. And then interview the authors.
I know this is ambitious. I know this will be a long shot. I know I'm asking a lot.
Want-Take-Have.(bonus points if you know where that line comes from)
We'll get there. I'll get there.
This process is evolving. Here is what I know for sure. I'm going to post more often. Julie posted 6 days a week, and as she said, don't think about it. Just do it.
So, expect more from me here.
And, please, let me know what you're thinking. Love it? Hate it? I can take it.
Any ideas? Please send them my way. And, yes, I know. The header is changing. Soon :)

Direction

It's hard to believe the Olympics are over.
It's hard to believe this week is over.
Talk about a crazy week. I've said so much about New York and I could say so much more. But, so much love for New York. For Julie Powell. So much (and seriously, she commented on my blog. LOVE).
And the Olympics all tied into it.
There are just moments where I don't feel the need to say much other than sometimes life makes you happy.

The one thing that I've been thinking a lot about is the direction of my blog. I started this as a mommy blog, and even though my kids are obviously a huge part of my life, the whole mommy blogging thing isn't really what I'm focusing on lately. I know I want to keep blogging. And I know I have a lot to say. I guess I'm just getting tired of the whole "mommy blogger" label. And, as exciting as it is that in the coming months we will be potty training Chloe - I have no desire to share the stories of her pooping in the potty. I care - it's just not where my heart is.

So, be prepared for a bit of change. What I do know is that I want to write consistently. And I want to figure out where I'm going. But right now - I just don't know what that is. So... stay tuned! And if you have ideas. Please share.

What I Was Looking For

Cover via Amazon

 

I'm back from a whirlwind trip to New York.

Maybe this is a bit cliche, but the trip was life changing.

If you haven't been following here, let me explain. I read the book Cleaving by Julie Powell. She made me look at life differently. She made me appreciate that life is messy and we need to embrace it.

I read about

 

Then after reading Cleaving I joined Julie's fanbook page and I found out that she was speaking at the Manhattan JCC. She was speaking with Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project. So, I bought the book, which is amazing as well, and long story short, I decided that I needed to meet Julie. Because what makes me truly happy

So, I booked a trip and went to New York.

Everyone was pretty amazing about it. Instead of being called crazy words like brave and amazing were used, and all of that melted my heart. You guys are amazing.

I decided to not only go to the speaking engagement, but also try to visit some of the places Julie talks about in her book. The place that was her solace was a butcher shop called Fleishers. As it turns out, this place has become quite famous. As it turns out, they are rockstar butchers. Who knew there was such a thing as a rockstar butcher. There is. 

So, off I went to Fleishers to see what it was all about. And they gave me a tour. Okay, I realized how off that sounds. But I was fascinated by the tour. And then they let me watch them cutting meat. Again, hard to explain unless you're in my head. But I had to do it. I had to understand this essential part of the book. As it turns out it was amazing. But, thankfully for all involved, I'm far more insterested in eating meat than butchering it. I'm good with that.

So, I left Fleishers around lunch time, and made my way back to Manhattan. I did a bunch of touristy stuff and then the big event happened.

Julie and Gretchen spoke with a moderator. Amazing. And then I was able to meet Julie.

Not the best picture of me. But let's all focus on Julie. Look how beautiful she is. Stunning and lovely.

The next day I just had a New York day. I went to Century 21, of course. And I got some lovely shoes. I also saw Ground Zero.  And tried to guess which building Julie worked in while writing Julie and Julia. And, I'm positive I passed it cause I got thoroughly lost looking for the store. Funny side note - 3 people asked me for directions yesterday. I pulled out my maps to help them. But it was funny since I was lost.
After Century 21 I stopped at Canal Street and got a Rolex for Mike. And some Chanel for me. (real, of course).

My final stop? Republic. This is where Julie drank gimlets. You can bet I had one. It was delicious. So so so good.

And I had a delicious lunch. Which I ate with chopsticks. And let me tell you several people helped me out with the chopsticks thing.
And then I had a lovely conversation with a woman a little younger than me. We talked about life, and chopsticks, and everything you can imagine. It was a moment that just happened. She was at the beginning of a journey. She wanted to write and follow her dreams. And, we talked about it. When I was leaving she said something to me that will always stick with me. She said: "Whatever you have found that brings you this joy - that's what I'm looking for."
That ended my trip.
It was a beautiful note to leave on.
And a pretty much perfect trip.

LIVE from New York

Tonight I met Julie Powell.
Can you absorb that? Julie. Julie who I talk about all the time. Julie of "Juliequest 2010."
I don't need to go into the story. If you've followed me for awhile you know about this. And guys, tonight was amazing.
Remember when I said "live better than you dare?"
That's what today has been about.
In my last post I said I needed this and it's hard to explain how I feel. The truth is, I needed this experience. I needed to tell Julie what her book meant to me. And I did.
Of course I cried. Of course. I didn't mean to.
I went to hear her speak at the Manhattan JCC. And it was amazing.
And the thing is, Julie was amazing. She got it.
I know Julie Powell is THE Julie of Julie and Julia. But, really, it doesn't matter. I'm glad she had that success. Or maybe I wouldn't have heard of her. Maybe she wouldn't have written Cleaving. Maybe she woulnd't have given us all the message that Life is Messy, but we still have to keep going on living it and loving it and loving each other.
Fame is great. And I applaud her success.
But it's more than that.
I've been trying to explain this trip to people. To explain why I needed to do this alone.
It's not about whether I'm happy or not. It's not about meeting a celebrity. It's about believing that in life there's something important.
It's about knowing that there is this wonderful part about our existence that is confusing and complicated. But there's joy in every day.
It was funny because tonight was better than I had hoped.
I had hoped that I would be glean something from the experience. That I would leave understanding something.
What I got was so much more.
I had the chance to thank her for her work. And, you guys, she came over and gave me a hug. She got up from where she was sitting, at the front of a big audience. There was a room full of people who wanted to get their books signed, and to ask her questions, and she came over and gave me a hug. And thanked me for what I said.
There are moments when your heart just feels full.
When you feel like someone understands.
It doesn't mean life is perfect.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Honestly, there are storm warnings in New York and I don't even know if I will get home tomorrow.
But, what I know. What I left knowing is that life is a journey. And that there are some awesome people who make that journey so unbelievably incredible.
Julie is one of those people.
And life, right now, is just so good.
You know, I read her book. I visited Fleishers. And there are a few more stops I want to make tomorrow to see what she talks about in her books.
But, I know one thing for sure. This is my journey. And I'm loving it. And living it.

New York

Tonight I leave for New York.
I'm spending 2 days in New York. Just me.
I need this.
There are no expectations on my part. Not really. Yes, it's being referred to as "Juliequest" by some of my friends. And that's appropriate. Because yes. I really want to meet her. And hear her speak.
Yes, my excitement is palpable. You may be feeling sorry for the people who have to work with me all day as I try to quell my excitement.
But, there's a line in Cleaving that explains how I'm feeling. There are many sections in that book where I can relate.
But, Julie Powell has one line in Cleaving that pretty much explains my whole life.

If there's one thing I've learned about myself, it's that passions don't tend to run out. Would that they did.

I get that.
She had Julia. She had her butchery.
I have this.
My expectations. They are of me. To absorb the moment. To appreciate what I'm doing. To come back with a better understanding of why I need to do these things.
Passions don't tend to run out.
True that, Julie. True that.

This is why I'm Tired

I often come to work on Mondays and say my weekend was exhausting. I love my kids. They make me laugh and make me smile. But they exhaust me.
So the other day we let Matt make a video. No exaggeration ... this is Matt - most of the time.
Mike and I cracked up when we started watching it because it's so him. Also note how calm our cat is through the whole thing.

Live Better Than You Dare

Cover via Amazon

I've been talking a lot about going to New York.
I've been talking a lot about Julie Powell.
And, I was tossing back and forth the idea of travelling to New York to go to an event she's speaking at. I know. A little crazy. But, also pretty cool.
And I've been reading the Happiness Project which is pretty full of some affirmations and quotes. I'll admit that I'm not exactly a daily affirmation person - but I do love a good quote. And one of her quotes is "Live as Well as You Dare." I thought that was pretty great - until my good friend said it should be changed to live BETTER than you dare.
And it's true. It's one of those quotes I play over and over in my head. I mean, do I dare? Do I do things I'm afraid of? Do I push things just a little more than I'm confortable with? Well, yes and no. Yes, for sure a lot. (just ask the people I work with)
So, with this whole New York thing - I'm going for it.
I was thinking about what inspired me in Cleaving. Like, I pretty much fell in love with the whole book - what Julie Powell said about herself (life lessons there). But it was also about butchery. I'll never forget the conversation I had with someone when I was halfway through the book. This person is a friend, but doesn't know me *that* well, and I was knee deep in the book, and had decided that perhaps I should move to New York and learn to be a butcher. It wasn't a serious thought. It was more of a completely engrossed in a book kind of thought.
He thought about it and suggested that perhaps I take some cooking classes, or even just try buying meat from a butcher (other than the grocery store).
And I was mulling this idea around when I decided that OMG! I could probably find the butcher shop from the book. (it's called Fleisher's) And go there! And, then I thought that I can't exactly buy meat there but they have soup and stuff. So, if nothing else - I can fly to New York, take a 2 hour bus ride to the store, eat a bowl of soup - and EXPERIENCE.
And, perhaps buy a shirt!
Live better than you dare.
Maybe to some people that's insane. To me - that's living!
Also, before I go, my friend helpfully sent me a title of a book to read (about meat) and some butchers in Toronto that have a similar philosophy. Awesome.
I'm SO excited.

Sleep and Happiness ...

Chloe is almost 2. We're about 6 weeks away from her second birthday, and the child needs to sleep.
I don't know what went wrong with her sleep routine. As an infant she slept well, but as she got older it got progressively worse till we hit that point that every night Mike puts her to sleep by rocking her and then lays her on the couch until he brings her to our bed where she sleeps for the night.
I know that sounds terrible.
The truth is, when you have an older child who is really exhausting, you take sleep however you can, even if that means horrible habits.
But, the other day I was left to put Chloe to sleep, and given the fact that I'm a foot shorter than Mike, and have significantly less arm muscle, it was really hard to get her into the necessary sleep strong hold. And I realized that something had to change.
So for the past few days I've been doing sleep training.
Matt goes to bed pretty quickly and has a great knack for ignoring his sister, so while he slept I somewhat patiently walked Chloe back to her bed over and over and over. And listened to her scream - over and over and over.
And, for the last 2 nights she has slept in her own bed.
This is a miracle, I tell you. A miracle. Tonight we had only an hour of the walking back to bed/crying routine.
What's the magic formula? Well, nothing. But I'll tell you what's made it easier - reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. It's a fascinating book, and it breaks down her resolutions for happiness into 12 months. I'm kind of reading a month per night. And, it's funny how when I read it, and I'm reading about things that were hard for her, it kind of makes the suckiness of sleep training more bearable.
Also, it's a good book.
And, I've finished reading the month of February and she's actually mentioned Julie/Julia. So there's that. And she says stuff like:
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
 And let me tell you, when you're feeling a little guilty about essentially just listening to your kid cry, stuff like that is amazing.
So sleep plus happy is making me happy right now.
And I'm hoping that by Chloe's 2nd birthday we'll have a sleeping toddler. Next step - toilet training.

Debating ...

Image via Wikipedia

Do you ever have those moments where you debate something? You know, wonder if you're compltely insane or have a really good idea?
Here's the thing.
I don't usually debate those things.
Someone once said about me "you always take the leap, and debate the merits of it after."
That's kind of true. In fact very true. I try not to be that way, but at the end of the day, it's what makes life fun, and it's what makes me me. And sometimes you just need to embrace courage.
And here's the thing.
I'm debating going to New York. For one night. On my own.
I *REALLY* want to go hear someone speak. 
I've been talking enough about Julie Powell. I've made all my friends read the book. I've been inspired by what she does. And, for me it's a matter of a relatively cheap flight and just going for it.
I should be able to get the time off work.
I've travelled to NY on my own several times, and can navigate my way around without any problem. I'm not particularly worried about any aspect of this.
In fact, I'm not even sure what I'm debating. I mean, yes, there's the one small issue of finding somewhere to stay, but it's one night... it's manageable.
And worth it.
right?
Or is it crazy?
Okay, and side note. My friend told me about a dinner party she went to where everyone there brought something from MtAoFC. I thought that was pretty much the COOLEST party idea ever. Well, next to my awesome 30th birthday fondue party.  But, you know, I have a birthday every year - and what's not to love about a pot luck - in the fancy french way!

Finding Yourself

When I was 19 I went to France. With my best friend.
She was working there as an au pair in the South of France (I think) - I traveled to meet her. After recovering from jet lag, and having a few days with the family she was with, we traveled together to Paris.
Picture it if you will. Two almost-19 year old girls. Together. Alone. In the City of Love.
We had life figured out.
Our trip was an adventure. We had a guide book that I was intent on following, and a couple of days in we decided to take a break from my plan and discover Paris. We found markets and we walked over bridges. We went to underground restaurants and sipped wine. We grocery shopped and ate red meat when people were stressed about mad cow. We made friends with people in the hostel and let some lovely Irish boys cook us dinner. We decided to forego taking the elevator up the Eiffel Tower and walked. We had sketches made of us that looked NOTHING like us and laughed our asses off. We spoke French (Susie did a much better job than I did) and we bought a whole tonne of Eiffel Tower crap at ridiculous prices.
When we were on the plane headed to Paris there were other young people - probably a little older than us. Different groups of people. And they all kept saying that they were going to Paris to find themselves. It became a joke between Susie and I. Whenever we left somewhere, like the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre, one of us would inevitably say "wow. I just found myself."
I guess it sounds like we were mocking the people who had traveled there for that purpose. But more than that it was the sense of security that we knew who we were - that there was nothing to find - and as we later put it, nothing we had really lost.
Fast forward about 12 years and it's a bit of a different story.
I've been writing a lot about my love of the author Julie Powell (of Julie and Julia and Cleaving). It's interesting to read her books. In case you haven't read Julie and Julia, Julie Powell decides to cook her way through Julia Child's book "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" in one year. And she blogs her experience.
Though I'm not sure she specifically says the purpose of her year of cooking dangerously is to find herself, it's the same idea. Self discovery, overcoming a challenge, etc etc.
And, as I'm reading Julie and Julia I keep thinking about how in a way I'm in the same place.
I have moments when I gasp because something she says I so totally get. TOTALLY.
Which makes me think about that time in France.
Seriously. What happened? Granted when I went there it was just before highschool graduation. We pretty much knew where our lives were headed the next year (university) and I had it all figured out. I knew I would get married at 27 (happened a little earlier) and have a perfect career (I'm happy, but I had some miserable jobs in there) and have kids at 30 (ha. I had a 4 year old and newborn at 30). It never occurred to me that everything I was dreaming may not happen according to plan. And I really thought I had it figured out.
And now I'm 31.
I'm not where Julie was at when she turned 30. Our lives are remarkably different. And the same. But that feeling through the book - the feeling of wondering whether you're living life completely, getting the most out of it, making a difference, following your dreams ... I get that.
I'm pretty sure I don't want to be where I was at 19.
I know that every day is not magical (despite what Disney tells us). I know that even the greatest things we wish for and get (marriage, family, etc) are not always as simple and perfect as we may have dreamed. And I think that's okay.
At the end of Julie's project she found out that Julia Child wasn't her biggest fan. And, I guess that's kind of life.
But it also makes me think about my own kids. How do I instill in them that feeling that they can one day own the world, that at almost-19 they can seize the moment, take whirlwind trips and know that there's nothing they need to find, and nothing they've really lost? Am I putting them in the right place?
Thinking back though, in a way I think we did find ourselves. Well, maybe I can't speak for Susie (trust me - the woman has no problem speaking her own mind!), but I can speak for myself. Maybe I didn't feel the need to find myself in the Eiffel Tower or under the Arch de Triomphe, but looking back I need to remember what that 19 year old knew. That life is an adventure. That as much as it's great to follow a map and a plan life is so much more fun when you screw up, throw out the plan and have an adventure.
Carpe Diem, people. Carpe Diem.
Oh, and since I've been asked ... yes, I love love love Julie. But, no. I'm not going to start cooking. That was her thing. I'm proud of myself when I cook a stir fry, or make roast beef. Or bake some cookies. I don't honestly get all these copycat people. That's her adventure. I will find my own. (My husband and children thank me, I'm sure!)

M-I-C-K-E-Y !!!

We're back from a week in Disney.
What a week it was. We did the trip in true Disney fashion. We stayed at  Disney resort, we ate all Disney meals, we soaked in everything and we had a blast. And we are exhausted!
Let me tell ya. There's a big difference between going to Disney with a one year (like our last trip) and an almost 2 year old.  It was fun, but so so tiring.
I'd do a full review of it, but with laundry going and an impending return to work tomorrow I need to keep this short.
Some of the highlights ... 

Mike celebrated his birthday in Disney. (yes, that's totally my dream birthday, but anyway ...)I created the lovely hat and bought him the shirt. And we had cake at dinner. And, the waiter who brought the cake sang the awesomest rendition of Zippity-Doo-Dah. It was incredible.

We had a blast with these 2 munchkins. Here's a confession, as parents who work outside of the home, Mike and I are not used to being around our kids 24/7. So, not only was this a chance to be in Disney, this also a great chance to spend time with our kids (and appreciate our nanny!). I saw so much in my kids this week, like the fact that Matt is so incredibly social. He can start up a conversation with pretty much anyone, and is fascinated to hear what they have to say. We learned so much about other families and cast members thanks to Mr. Social.

And, Chloe ... wow! The child is talking so much now. She must have learned 100 new words in Disney. And she's smart. She knows "Lella" (Cinderella) lives in the "Castle". And she's funny. One time I said to her "whose house is that?" when I pointed to the castle. She looked at me, laughed and said "Chloe's".  Ha.

Speaking of Miss Chloe ...

I like to think she is a princess. Isn't this dress beautiful? My sister made it just for Chloe to have breakfast with the princesses.
As it turned out, Chloe, who LOVES Minnie Mouse in particular, and pretty much all the big furry characters, is terrified of the princesses. I don't know why. This is with the exception of Snow White.
Whenever Chloe sees a picture of Snow White she says "Mommy" (do you see the similarity? I don't). Anyway, she was downright terrified of Jasmine, and would have nothing to do with Sleeping Beauty. It may have had something to do with the fact that she woke up sick on the day of our Princess breakfast. Being the great mother I am, I truly thought that she was fine, and brought my sick baby on the boat to Magic Kingdom where she threw-up twice before breakfast, once in the castle and once outside before Mike came in and brought her to the hotel to get some extra sleep.
(In fairness, Chloe is a pukey kind of kid, and was running around before we left. She seemed fine).

See - prefers Minnie!

And then there was Mr. Matt.

I love this picture of Matt because this is so him!
Matt is growing up. Here's the thing with Matt. As an almost 6 year old he no longer believes in the characters. He knows they are costumes. But, he's still willing to have fun.
Matt's mind is incredible to me. I'm the kind of person who hates to have surprises spoiled. I realize Disney is out to make money, but I'd much rather believe in the "magic" of it. I don't want to read the books about how everything works. I'm quite happy to accept that pixie dust is how the monorail works, and believe that Tinkerbelle leaves little surprises for people. Matt, on the other hand, is fascinated by how things work. He wants to know how the animatronics work. He looks for the strings on puppets and needs to understand the workings behind everything.

He loved Epcot. There's magic there, but there's also a whole lot of Science. He absolutely wanted to figure out how everything works, and that's what epcot is for. There's also a secret agent thing - the Kim Possible Kimmunicator - where you get this cell phone that gives you clues and you basically go on a mission in a country in Epcot. This was a highlight for Matt (and really fun for us).
You know, there were times where I'd sit on the bus with him or the monorail and he'd talk and I'd be completely fascinated with his thoughts.

He is obsessed with Space Mountain. We were a little worried since he hates the dark,but he loves space. The child went on this ride about 10 times. One the last day we told him that he could choose one final ride. He chose Space Mountain. There was a 20-minute wait (welcome to Disney in January - no waits!). Awesome. We got near the front of the line and then they turned the lights on. Long story short there was a major technical problem and the ride had to close. I thought Matt would completely lose it but he didn't (I would have). They handed out special fast passes good for any ride, so we booted it over to Thunder Mountain (and by booted I mean we RAN across the park in record time to get on one more ride before we left).

As for me... I had a great time.
I found this trip more stressful and exhausting. I had a chest infection before we left, and on the trip back I was sick. I could have stayed another week, and at point debated it. But, you know, there's this thing called work ...
But, we have already started making plans. And part of me thinks that maybe when I retire I'll go work at Disney. I think I'd make an excellent Fairy Godmother in my retirement.

Mommy - Matt Date

Sometimes I get a bit caught up in the everyday. We probably all do, but last night I figured it was high time to take Matt and a little mother-son date.
We go out a lot. We shop, we grab coffee, we chat. But, it's always in the midst of something. I let him play trains while I'm looking for a book at Chapters. Or, we run into Starbucks on our way to a playdate. Or I observe him playing with other kids while I am chatting with friends. Or we talk while we're baking, or cleaning or driving.
We have a good relationship.
But, we rarely take time to stop. And just be. And go somewhere with no purpose other than to be together with no true agenda.
The truth is, sometimes it's hard to do this. About a year ago Matt was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, and the hardest time of day for him is the evening. I understand it. And I accept it, but sometimes I don't exactly work with it. It's easier to let him burn off energy before bed and not contain it, and avoid fights, etc etc.
So, maybe it was a little bit crazy that I decided we do coffee (for me) at about 6:30 last night.
But it was wonderful. We sat for about half an hour and we chatted. Well, he chatted and I listened, and occasionally asked questions, but not many. Mostly I just heard about what was going on in his head. He told me about literacy week at school and recounted the story his teacher had read to them. He told me about his friends at school, and the new friend he made at recess (from the other kindergarten class). And, we talked about grade 1. He's a little nervous about it, but also a little excited.
It was a great conversation.
And it reminded me again why I know my kid is awesome, and why I know that despite some of my fears, that I know he'll grow up to be an amazing person. I need to do this more. I need to stop, and listen, and be present, with no other agenda.
After our coffee, since we were in Chapters, I let him play trains.
What amazes me about my kid is how he forms friendships with other kids. I know lots of children do this. But, despite that I'm still constantly amazed by how easy it is for him. After about 10 minutes he was off in his own little world with another boy his age. They managed to find a ton of common ground and were chatting about lego, books, trains and other boy stuff. They made their way over to the section where they sell all the Thomas stuff and the two of them were standing by the trains, both helping each other sound out all the names of the engines. It wasn't a competition. It was just one kid showing the other kid how to do something. And I sat back watching, fully impressed by how easy it all is, and how sometimes instead of looking at the time, and worrying about stuff, I need to step back and let things unfold.
Of course, the highlight of the night was pumping gas. Are kids allowed to help? I'm hoping so, because Matt wanted to help me every step of the way. I didn't see a problem with this, and in fact I figure it won't be long till I can stay in the warm car and let him pump gas for me (I kid, kind of ...)
And then there was our out of tune rendition of True Colours, over and over on our short drive.
He's almost 6. At the beginning of April my child will be 6!
Not a moment of his childhood has been easy. He was my surprise baby when I was too young to be having kids. He has challenged me every waking moment of his life. And he continues to. He fights me on a lot of stuff. He is strong willed and exuberant and when I tell him no he lets me know that he does NOT like to hear it.
And, I can't imagine loving him more than I do.
Last night when we got home (a little past his bedtime) I was reading him a story and tucking him into bed. Before I left I thanked him for going for coffee, and he said to me "You're welcome. You're lucky you have me as your little boy."
True. So true. And I'm glad he knows it as well as I do.

Cheers to You, Anonymous!

So I got this lovely little comment on my blog yesterday.

"I agree with Steve and SciFi Dad ... you shold have tried the beef thing. That way your kids and husband could have been more prominent in "The story of your life" ... it's good thing your husband has a great sense of humor. He would have to, in order to put up with your ego ... "rather than take the blame" ... talk about being too self-absorbed. where were your kids while you were blogging about alcohol?"

I've had my share of mean comments, and truthfully this didn't really bother me. (some have) It did, however, interest me. Where do these people come from?

It's clear anonymous doesn't read my blog. If he/she did, they would know that really nights of drinking with friends are quite finely balanced by nights of putting my kids to bed, watching tv with them, snuggling, doing homework, making lunches, and all of the other stuff that comes with being a parent.  And as I've said before, I like a balance. I can't speak for everyone, since we are all different, but I can certainly say that in my life, and in the life of my husband, having a life outside of the daily grind of getting up, getting the kids up, working full time, coming home, getting the kids to bed and then eventually rolling into bed ourselves in NOT a bad thing.

It is, in fact, a good thing. Having a sense of humour about all of this? Not just good. But necessary. I'm the first person to tell Mike to call up his friends, go for a drink, laugh about life, and if he needs to, vent about the joys of having to "put up with my ego." If he sends me a funny text when he's out I laugh. Or I'm asleep.

Let's be honest here. Was I really blaming Julie Powell for the fact that I was drinking? No. Does an author truly have the power to make me drink a handful of gimlets? Well, okay. She did inspire me to try a different drink. Whatever. It is, in fact, pretty yummy. But, I wasn't seriously blaming her for *making* me have a drink. That's silly. Though, many people would claim that she inspires them to try French cooking, rediscover a passion, break out of a rut or maybe even blog. So. Cheers to her for doing that. And, if I had a drink because of her - I'll raise my glass. I had a great time.

And, when I came home to my kids and my husband I was probably a better person for it.

In my mind, it's more dangerous to be miserable, feel home bound and forbidden to go out that sucks the life out a marriage. I married young, and I have never, for a second, felt that I wasn't allowed to have my own friends, my own conversations or my own interests. For some couples that works. And more power to them. But for me it doesn't. I love my husband and my kids. I cannot wait to spend the week in Florida with them, just the four of us, being a family. And that joy comes from the fact that at the end of the day, if I want to meet a friend for coffee, enjoy a few drinks, or catch a movie I have the liberty to do so. And for the record, so does Mike. What matters to me is that I know my kids are taken care of, that I still spend time with them and that we are all enjoying our lives.

In answer to your question, anonymous. Where were my kids? Obviously, they were with my husband. Well taken care of. If the shoe was on the other foot, and if he was out drinking with his friends and sending me some funny texts, would I be pissed off? Of course not. I'd be at home, snuggled with my kids (or, more likely, trying to keep up with them while they chase each other around the house - or reading them stories or getting in some quality baking time) knowing that in a few hours Mike would be home, and we'd wake up and start our regular life all over again.

Yes, this blog is the story of my life. And it shows the good and the bad. We've been through a lot, my family and I. And even though I know there will be many mistakes as I grow up along with my kids and my husband, what I share here isn't just the good stuff. It's not just the funny endearing stories, or my comments on how I am the world's best mom. I've never claimed that nor will I. For now I'm content being who I am. Self absorbed and egotistical as the case may be.

This weekend wasn't exactly as planned.
We're less than a week away from a trip to Disney and I'm sick. Well, sick and recovering, but still ...
My plan to wake up early on Saturday and pack didn't quite work out. I slept in until 11 (unheard of in my life. I literally cannot remember a time since I have had kids where I've slept in that late) and was woken up by Mike, who told me that my parents had Chloe, my sister had Matt and we were going out for breakfast. Nice.
So, we ate, we bought a few things for the trip, we got Chloe, and I went back to sleep.
Again. Unheard of. And, though we debated the idea of packing and watching a movie, the packing got pushed as  I nursed neocitron and Mike and I watched a movie (are you shocked that it was Julie and Julia? Honestly, Mike hadn't seen it and he loved it)

Today we were a little bit more on track.
Today was a family day, and it was needed. Life has been busy lately, and I feel like between Christmas and work and just life in general we've all been going in slightly different directions. Today we had nothing planned. NOTHING. It was bliss. Mike slept in and I hung out with the kids. Matt and I played a game of Frustration, and I realized that he's finally at the age where we can actually play games and it's fun.
At one point in the game Matt knocked my piece off of the board and when I was disappointed he said "well, that's just the way the ball bounces, mom." Huh? Where do these things come from?

And then, in the weirdness of all weirdness, I saw a smackdown at the gas station. Seriously. Two men were fighting over the car wash, and when I left the scene one guy was blocking the other guy at the exit of the car wash. This doesn't happen in suburbia. Really. 

And at the end of the day we're mostly packed. Of course, nothing is perfect. I attempted to cut Chloe's bangs and that didn't turn out so well, so I think a haircut is in the books for this week, but all in all we're back to our usual insanity, illness and sleepyness aside.

I know I know ...

This is a mommy blog after all, and I'm talking about alcohol. Gasp! And authors who have lives and books and blogs that would make some people blush.
Sorry. I have had a few e-mails asking if I'm okay (yes). And thanks for asking.
But, lately I've really felt like saying, you know, sometimes motherhood isn't only about educational toys, changing diapers and impending toilet training.
It's also about the fact that Mommy bloggers are people, and don't only, you know, do mommy things. And, no, I'm not discussing the WAHM/SAHM debate. Because I think that no matter what choice you make about working in the home or outside of it has little to do with whether or not you have a life outside of the home.
And honestly, I've been thinking a lot about that. About all the definitions. About what makes us who we are, as people, as parents, as not-parents, as spouses, etc etc.
And there's a lot on my mind.
We won't even discuss that in addition to the stress I put on myself, there's all the additional stress of an impending Disney trip (next week!) where I am not sure if I'm packing flip flops or ear muffs.
And, that's where all this Julie Powell stuff comes in.
Remember Rebecca Eckler? Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Rebecca still. LOVE her. That won't change. But, do you want to know when I discovered her writing? It was when I was dealing with Post Partum Depression, and a million issues about going back to work and whether that made me a bad mom (resounding no to that one). And then I read her book, and despite any negativity that the critics had she made me realize something - if you are comfortable with your own choices, screw everyone else. Seriously.
And, in a much grander way, that may even make Rebecca blush, JP says the same thing. Be yourself. Accept life. Live it and accept. And it works out in the end, even if it gets really really messy in the middle.

You know that  line that Cyndi Lauper sings in True Colours:

It's hard to be courageous.
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you feel so small

That's what this is all about. And sometimes you just go through life figuring it out day-by-day.
So, take courage. Be brave. Embrace the messy parts and be grateful for the easy parts. Read Julie. Follow my quest to meet her (you know it will be, if nothing else, interesting.) And Live.

That is all.