Monday, January 11, 2010

Cheers to You, Anonymous!

So I got this lovely little comment on my blog yesterday.

"I agree with Steve and SciFi Dad ... you shold have tried the beef thing. That way your kids and husband could have been more prominent in "The story of your life" ... it's good thing your husband has a great sense of humor. He would have to, in order to put up with your ego ... "rather than take the blame" ... talk about being too self-absorbed. where were your kids while you were blogging about alcohol?"

I've had my share of mean comments, and truthfully this didn't really bother me. (some have) It did, however, interest me. Where do these people come from?

It's clear anonymous doesn't read my blog. If he/she did, they would know that really nights of drinking with friends are quite finely balanced by nights of putting my kids to bed, watching tv with them, snuggling, doing homework, making lunches, and all of the other stuff that comes with being a parent.  And as I've said before, I like a balance. I can't speak for everyone, since we are all different, but I can certainly say that in my life, and in the life of my husband, having a life outside of the daily grind of getting up, getting the kids up, working full time, coming home, getting the kids to bed and then eventually rolling into bed ourselves in NOT a bad thing.

It is, in fact, a good thing. Having a sense of humour about all of this? Not just good. But necessary. I'm the first person to tell Mike to call up his friends, go for a drink, laugh about life, and if he needs to, vent about the joys of having to "put up with my ego." If he sends me a funny text when he's out I laugh. Or I'm asleep.

Let's be honest here. Was I really blaming Julie Powell for the fact that I was drinking? No. Does an author truly have the power to make me drink a handful of gimlets? Well, okay. She did inspire me to try a different drink. Whatever. It is, in fact, pretty yummy. But, I wasn't seriously blaming her for *making* me have a drink. That's silly. Though, many people would claim that she inspires them to try French cooking, rediscover a passion, break out of a rut or maybe even blog. So. Cheers to her for doing that. And, if I had a drink because of her - I'll raise my glass. I had a great time.

And, when I came home to my kids and my husband I was probably a better person for it.

In my mind, it's more dangerous to be miserable, feel home bound and forbidden to go out that sucks the life out a marriage. I married young, and I have never, for a second, felt that I wasn't allowed to have my own friends, my own conversations or my own interests. For some couples that works. And more power to them. But for me it doesn't. I love my husband and my kids. I cannot wait to spend the week in Florida with them, just the four of us, being a family. And that joy comes from the fact that at the end of the day, if I want to meet a friend for coffee, enjoy a few drinks, or catch a movie I have the liberty to do so. And for the record, so does Mike. What matters to me is that I know my kids are taken care of, that I still spend time with them and that we are all enjoying our lives.

In answer to your question, anonymous. Where were my kids? Obviously, they were with my husband. Well taken care of. If the shoe was on the other foot, and if he was out drinking with his friends and sending me some funny texts, would I be pissed off? Of course not. I'd be at home, snuggled with my kids (or, more likely, trying to keep up with them while they chase each other around the house - or reading them stories or getting in some quality baking time) knowing that in a few hours Mike would be home, and we'd wake up and start our regular life all over again.

Yes, this blog is the story of my life. And it shows the good and the bad. We've been through a lot, my family and I. And even though I know there will be many mistakes as I grow up along with my kids and my husband, what I share here isn't just the good stuff. It's not just the funny endearing stories, or my comments on how I am the world's best mom. I've never claimed that nor will I. For now I'm content being who I am. Self absorbed and egotistical as the case may be.


SciFi Dad said...

The comment may not have bothered you, but it did bother me.

Anonymous: you do not agree with me, because I disagree with everything you wrote. I was kidding. You were being judgmental.

Also: grow a pair and sign your name to your words instead of hiding. What are you afraid of?

Ginny said...

*gasp* you did what? Something you wanted to do and it didn't include your husband or children? So like you got to be you and not 'the wife' or 'the mom' for a few hours and you willingly chose to not include your family during that time? Oh Laural, the horror, the horror! What have you done? Imagine being in a relationship where you have the freedom to be yourself, to take time away from it. Well I just can't believe that, not for a second!!

Ha ha, you know me my friend. What I choose may not be what you choose and what you choose may not be what he chooses and what he chooses may not be what she, well you know what I mean. What makes us super awesome is that we get that, we get that it doesn't matter what other people think or choose, it's that we are comfortable with the choices we make for ourselves. But unfortunately there are people in this world that think they know better and love to troll. Screw 'em I say!! Ain't worth it.

Bring on Thursday's my friend!

lettuce said...

I'm just catching up on your blog and can't believe this crap. I agree with Sci Fi Dad re: Anonymous!