Hapy Birthday To Me

Thirty

Today I turn 30!
Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But, it is kind of funny to now check a different box off when I'm doing surveys, and to say "I'm in my thirties." Yep. Pretty much otherwise no different.
I was thinking today about the difference that 10 years makes. You know, because it has been a decade since my last significant birthday.
A lot has happened since I turned 20. On that birthday I'd been with my boyfriend for a few weeks. That was the first birthday I spent with him. Today is the 10th. When I turned 20 I had a party with a bunch of friends, and that's when he realized he loved me (I already kind of knew). It was a birthday where we couldn't stop saying we loved each other. This year, the I love you was demonstrated by a hot cup of coffee being freshly made just the way I like it, with him changing the baby so I could get dressed.
At twenty I was trying so hard to define myself. I felt that I needed a signature drink, a signature look, a signature lipstick. A signature hairstyle.
At thirty I'm learning that I don't want all of those things set in stone.
Who wants to order the same thing when they go for a drink? I'd much rather try a new girlie drink than have the same boring vodka-cranberry over and over and over.
As for a look? I am pretty particular about well groomed eye brows, but other than that, I want to mix it up. I don't want to have a "mom" look or a "career woman" look. I just want to be me. Somedays that means a killer pair of heels and a tailored skirt. Recently it's meant jeans and flip flops. Whatever. As long as I don't consider crocs a fashion statement I figure I'm doing pretty well.
But most of the stuff about me. It hasn't changed. I'm still the same old person I was. So bring on 30! I'm loving it :)

My Mother's Day Gifts

I love Mother's Day. Mike made mine extra special with some special surprises that were incredible.

And, I loved every minute of it. But, looking back at the pictures, I realized that the best gifts are right here with me.

My Boy

My Girl

Yoga

Tonight I finally made the trek back to the gym.
It's been a long time. Because of a scare early in my pregnancy I took several months off of the gym. (I did walk a lot).
But since I've passed the six week mark and I'm not exactly loving my body, I decided to go back to the gym. I thought I'd get off to an easy start with a yoga class. I debated boot camp, but thought I'd wait a few weeks.
It was wonderful.
This is the first time I've taken an hour away from Chloe, and the class was exactly what I needed. The instructor was fantastic, and when I told her it was my first class since having a baby she made sure I didn't do certain things and that I was okay. By the end of the class my body felt fantastic. It was a pretty mellow yoga class, and it was all about listening to your body, etc. I think this is the first time I really have listened to my body in yoga and not just tried to get everything right.
And the 5 minute part where you just lie on the floor and do nothing. Golden.
For me the hardest part of going to the gym is getting back into a routine. I don't mind being there. In fact I kind of enjoy working out. It's just the initial visit, and sorting out the timing and getting comfortable again.
So going there tonight was important to me. I'm not so anxious about it. Actually, with the exception of a few more dance classes nothing has changed. That's not true. They added some "fun" dance classes. There's one class where each week you learn a new style of dance like salsa or tango and get your workout that way. I can honestly say that kind of a class would be a nightmare for me. Bellydance flashbacks, anyone?
So, for now I'll stick with the easy classes and and see how it goes.

The Birds ... The Shock

This morning a met a couple of WonderMommies and their children at a play place so the kids could run off some steam while we enjoyed coffee.
It was a wonderful morning. There were no calamaties. We had a nice chat. It was a good day.
And then it was time to go.
It was one of those easy departures. Matt was tired and looking forward to a break in the van. Chloe was asleep. We got in the van and got settled when we saw a hoard of seagulls flying toward us. I think there were 5. For some reason it caught my attention and suddenly ..
BANG.
Something slammed into my windshield.
Logically it was a seagull. There was a big gob of red right on my windshield. It was horrifying.
And then suddenly I heard it. Major noise on top of my van.
I almost had a nervous breakdown. There I was, in my van, with a half-dead bird on my roof.
I didn't want to roll down the window for fear of a half dead, or potentially dead bird, falling or flying in my window.
Matthew was in the back seat asking what the noise was and where the birds went. I didn't quite know how to explain to him that a bird was dying on our roof racks. What if the bird got stuck in our roof racks?
By this point I had tried to call my sister (who was across the small parking lot) to solicit her help, but she was in conversation with our friend.
And then two teenaged boys walked past. They looked like nice kids. The kind I hung out with in school. The kind I'd like Matt to grow up to be like. They didn't seem vicious or crazy. But, they suddenly looked at my van, pointed and LAUGHED. I was horrified. Kids these days. Laughing at a dying seagull on my roof.
I tried to ask them about it, but when I refused to roll down my window and I pointed at my roof they almost fell over laughing.
And then I realized I could just drive to Becky and Kerry. Maybe they could help.
Instead. They laughed. They both started laughing.
Finally Kerry convinced me to roll down my window so she could explain. I did. A bit. Just enough that I could hear her and yet no birds could get in my van. (by this point I was actually shaking).
It turns out there was no flailing dead bird on my van.
What happened was a group of seagulls had found a half piece of pizza and were fighting over it when they dropped it on my van window.
One of the seagulls retrieved it and it somehow ended up stuck in my roof racks where the pigeons were fighting with each other - hence the banging noise.
When I drove over to Becky the seagulls followed me and were again attacking the pizza.
That's why everyone was laughing.
I chose not to get out and look.
But halfway home a piece of pizza went flying from my roof.
Is it any wonder I'm a little tired these days?

Who Needs a Personal Trainer?

Really.
I have a four year old.
One of the promises that I made Matthew was that when we stayed home I would take him to the local playgrounds. One of the great joys of our neighbourhood is that we are surrounded by playgrounds.
I did a drive around the area, and discovered 5 playgrounds that are various walking distances away. And we also have one in our townhouse complex (though it's just okay).
So, today Matt got on his trike and I put Chloe in her stroller and we went to one of the parks. It was about a 20 minute walk. A twenty minute FAST walk because Matt can ride that trike. Half the time I was practically running to keep up with him.
And, unlike when you're working out with a trainer, you can't exactly just say "no more. I've had it" with the realization you're paying. No way. If I don't keep up there is the distinct possibility that he could ride on to the street or run into a pedestrian.
Of course, before we even left for the park we had to eat a healthy lunch. Forget about the junk I may have eaten, Matt dictated a lunch of yogurt parfaits - strawberries, vanilla yogurt and granola. And, when I asked what he'd like for dinner he told me "salad would be nice." Seriously.
I have to admit though, I really enjoyed our trip to the playground. We met my mom there, and Matt played for quite awhile. Between the walk (about 20 minutes both ways) and the playing and our little picnic (apples and muffins) we were gone 2 hours. Matt was thrilled to see Grandma, and the child needs to run off his energy.
The only problem is that now his energy is returning and I'm ready for a nap!

Conversation

Today Matt was eating McDonald's in the van when he dropped some fries.
"Oh DAMMIT!" he screamed as I was driving.
I asked him what he had just said.

Matt: Dammit.
Me: Do you know what that means?
Matt: Yes. It's Spanish for "Oh Shoot"
Me: Really? Who told you that.
Matt: Daddy.

Nice.

Soon it will be Highschool Dances

On Sunday Mike and I took our kids and my older niece to the Toddlers Gone Wild launch party where they danced, got tattooed and ate yummy mini cupcakes (at least licked the icing off) and they danced in bubbles.
They had fun.
So did I.
In a shy way. I was overcome with nerves and took awhile to build up the courage to go say hi to Rebecca Eckler. (but I did, and she's lovely of course). And I could not figure out why my beloved husband kept blushing and acting all weird, until he admitted it was because he was in the same room as Erica Ehm.
The best part though was the kids. I loved watching them dance and play and have a good time.
And, at the end take a little breather and just chat and relax.

Post-Baby Weight Debate

It's been almost 4 weeks since I've given birth and of course my mind has gone to the topic of weight.
Prior to getting pregnant I was trying to lose weight. I had a goal weight of, let's call the number x, and I was, on average, 15 lbs over that number. I had kind of plateaued and had been there for awhile. I was happy there, and a nice enough size, but realistically would have liked to be 15 lbs less.
With Chloe I gained about 25 lbs by the end. So, nothing near the 87 lbs I had to lose with Matthew (that I lost except for 15 lbs, but it took me 3 years). With Matt I was able to lose about 10-15 lbs, and then I had major problems. A huge part of it was over-eating which I later learned should have been attributed to ppd. But, the point is, I found that the numbers didn't really come down. Or, they did and would go right back up.
For me it was horrible going clothes shopping because we had very little money, so I was watching every penny I spent, but nothing fit. And, really, the larger you are the worse cheap clothes look on you. (I could show you pictures). And I refused to wear my maternity clothes. Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment.
So, with this birth I decided that I didn't want to go through all of that - hence less weight gain. I was worried about how long it would take to lose the weight.
here's the funny thing. I now weigh exactly the same amount that I did before I got pregnant. Great, eh?
Not so much. I still need to wear clothes that are 3 sizes bigger (which, thank God, still lands me in regular sizes). I'm afraid to pull out most of my pre-pregnancy clothes because I know trying them on will be discouraging - and painful. I'm not sure if it's cause of the c-section or because of being pregnant - or both - but all of the excess weight is in 2 places: my boobs (not a bad thing) and my lower tummy. It's like my body has completely re-shaped itself.
I've been doing some research on this, and it is apparently fairly normal, but it can take 1-2 years of exercise and LOTS of sit-ups to get your normal tummy back. That would be fine if I even liked my normal tummy, but I've never liked it. So, who knows ...
I find the whole thing rather baffling. If you think about it, if I'm the same weight now that I was pre-pregnancy and I'm fat in 2 specific places, there should be some places where I am skinnier. Right? Ummmm ... nope. I've looked. I would love it my legs were suddenly more sculpted or I had thinner arms. But no - same old body plus extra tummy. NOT fair.
I'm pretty sure that I can't do sit-ups yet (my doctor said 6 weeks before exercise), but I am walking. And, in a couple of weeks we're joining the Y as a family which means we get to do my favourite exercise - swimming!!! (though bummer that I will need to get a new bathing suit - cause that will be fun times. And a bikini wax. Ouch!)
Part of me is trying to be content at this weight, but then another part of me is thinking that we're going to Disneyworld in July. So, I'll have about 8 weeks to get in some sort of shape - and between eating healthy (easy to do in the summer), and exercising (going to the Y and bringing Matt to the park a lot - and we walk there) I could realistically lose about 10 lbs. Not quite a goal weight. But, enough to like my body a bit better. I can only imagine how many pictures we will be taking while we are there.
What I'd really like to do is come up with some sort of healthy meal plan to keep us all on track for being in slightly better shape for Disney. One day at a time.

Oh, and speaking of working out ... as you may remember, last year I did a 5k race in June. I put it on hold to have the baby, but plan to take it up in the summer or fall.
My friend, Lou, was an amazing help to me. He was the first person I ran 5 k with, gave me tons of encouragement and didn't let me give up when I said that running was not my thing.
Guess what? At the age of 66 he completed the Boston Marathon yesterday! His time was 4:35:31 and he came in 19,114th Place. I was pretty impressed! It's been his goal for a long time to do this, so the fact he made it there is pretty amazing.

Loving Age 4

There's a funny phenomenon happening a our house. Our entire family is loving age 4.
I know.
Weird.
I kept hearing to watch out for the age of 4 because it's called the "f*&%ing fours."
The thing is, I haven't seen it yet. Sure it's early days. But still. I'm loving it.
In the last couple of weeks Matt has decided being 4 means he can do a whole bunch of stuff. For instance, he's insisted for the last year that he CANNOT put his own shoes on (and how fun is it when you're 9 months pregnant putting your child's shoes on?). Then he turned 4. And "four-year-olds know how to put on their own shoes."
And on it goes. Forget about needing help with his clothes, he's 4.
Forget about being bad at a restaurant. As soon as we remind him he's 4 we're back on track.
Add in the whole big brother thing and it's amazing how much of a change is happening in our house. He wants to do his own bedtime routine (brushing teeth, putting on pj's). He's not fighting us in the mornings anymore because he chooses his own snacks to bring to daycare. There's no screaming and crying and bickering.
I think we've been laying the groundwork for this for awhile. But, it's amazing to see how it all comes together.
His new "thing" is the thumbs up. Okay, so I taught it to him, and I do it a lot. But, it's just a really easy way to say "good job" if he's listening well or doing something great. And, he's totally adopted it. I LOVE it!
Really. I just love age 4.
Matt has about 9 days left in daycare, and I'm finding that I'm looking forward to being home with him and his craziness full time.

Soooo Exciting!

So, have you seen it?

Of course I'm excited about this ... it's Rebecca Eckler's new book "Toddlers Gone Wild".
Here's the truth, I haven't read the whole book yet. It's a quick read, but like all good books, I'm hesitant to read it too quickly because then I will be done.
But so far, I'm LOVING this book.
It's funny. And it's quirky in a good way. And, since when I do get a chance to read I'm interrupted by a baby who needs to nurse or a 4 year old who wants to discuss Buzz Lightyear, the fact that it's all short sections is fantastic.
And, of course I love it even more than I would have anyway because my son, yep my son (!), is quoted in it. Adorable.
My confession. I've been sick since the weekend, but yesterday I was super sick - like shivering, high fever kind of sick, and so today I decided to not make any plans to do anything but sit at home, chill with Chloe and finish reading my book.
Can anyone think of a better day? Well, actually, a better day would be doing that without still sniffling, coughing and having a fever. But, whatever. Perfection.

Matt turns 4!

Matt blowing kisses to his fans

Matt's fourth birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and this past Saturday was his birthday party. After his party he officially decided he is 4!
So far I'm loving 4. He's been such a sweetheart and is working very hard at being a big boy. Here are some pictures of his birthday party. I'm not posting many because a) it was kind of hard to supervise and take pictures and b) I don't think it's fair to post other kids' pictures without their parents permission.
A lot of the kids who came to the party were daycare friends. We just gave our 2 weeks notice at the daycare, so I think next year will be junior kindergarten friends. I still can't believe I have a 4 year old!!!

Mike's masterpiece - an arial firetruck cake

How old is Matt???

Just before we left Matt told me that "Chloe was a really GWEAT birfday gift." What can possibly top that for his 5th birthday? Twins?

My Kids are Cute

I know ... we all think our kids are cute, but really sometimes I look at Matt and Chloe and am blown away by how beautiful they are.
At first I thought they looked alike, but as my friend told me, babies change every day, and really every day I see something different in Chloe. I'm still not so sure that she looks like someone in particular. Maybe she will - who knows.
As for Matthew. He's 4 now. Insane, I know. And, he's such a little boy. Even last year I could see the baby in him, but now I just see the kid.

Matthew Gardening

Our Happy Baby

And what other excitement is going on at our house? Let's see. Our street has been completely ripped up and we're getting new watermains. Exciting, no? It is to 4 year old boys, husbands and local highschool students who sit and watch the construction. Even a class of daycare kids came to see the action today.
Actually, it's kind of interesting to have all sorts of construction people right outside my door. It's quite fascinating to watch the whole process. And it sure beats a water main breaking and flooding my basement!

I Survived Day One

As any new parent will tell you, the first day that your spouse goes back to work after the birth of a baby is a little daunting.
When Matthew was born I was terrified. I clearly remember the day before. Mike drove us to pick up some necessary supplies at the drugstore and then we decided to get lattes from Starbucks. Since it was a busy day I stayed in the car with Matt while Mike got the lattes, and Matt started screaming which quickly turned into crying. By the time Mike returned to the car I was in tears also. By the time we got home I was pretty much panicked about being alone with an infant all day, and Mike was more than a little worried about leaving me alone.
I've told the story about a million times, about how that first day I was home alone, my neighbour came over and introduced herself, and in the end it all worked out okay.
That same neighbour (who now no longer a neighbour, but is a very close friend) sent me an e-mail last week telling me it will be okay this time.
And, today was that first day.
Okay, so granted Mike came home at lunch, both my mom and sister were by, and I have a calmer baby. But still...
It was weird.
The day started off a little rough with Chloe actually crying a LOT because she was a little under the weather. (she's fine).
But, I felt lonely.
I can't really go out to any mommy groups right now. Physically, the c-section is still taking its toll and I'm exhausted.
Emotionally I'm still kind of up and down. Like, when I tried to read Chloe's birth announcement to Matthew I started to cry. I'm not quite ready to meet new people when I'm just a couple steps away from an emotional meltdown at any given moment. How crazy is it that when I tell people that Chloe is a good nurser my eyes water. Forget about trying to announce that Matthew just turned 4. It's a little ridiculous.
So, for now, Chloe and I are getting reacquainted with our friends Regis and Kelly, Rachael Ray, Oprah and of course Marilyn Dennis (why is it that both Matthew and Chloe can sit transfixed and watch Brian Gluckstein for an entire hour of Cityline????).
The good news is I'm learning a lot. For instance, did you know it's not the end of the world if you don't have 8 glasses of water every day? Or how about if you cut out a tablespoon of butter everyday you could lose 2 lbs in 10 weeks. And, did you know Kathy Lee Gifford host the 4th hour of the Today Show? It's true. I didn't even know that there was a 4th hour of the today show. I've discovered that Valerie Bertinelli REALLY annoys me (almost as much as Marie Osmond) and that Whoopi Goldberg has no fashion sense.
Okay, really, I can't wait till I can get out and about more.
But at least I made it through day 1 and it only gets easier from here... right?

As If ...

Seriously ...
Last night was a pretty good night. We swaddled. We used the bassinet. Chloe slept.
Matthew went to bed feeling a bit feverish - nothing Motrin couldn't fix.
When Matt, Chloe and I got up I sent Mike back to bed since he was looking pretty tired. And, so there we sat - Mommy and her 2 babies - feeling pretty good. We had calm, we were all watching Buzz Lightyear. When it was over I asked Matthew if he wanted to hold Chloe.
It was a total Kodak moment until I reached over and gave Matt a hug and realized that he was covered with a rash. And holding the baby. Crap.
After panicking and waking Mike up I realized that we probably didn't need to go to the hospital. (in all fairness, this child hasn't had a rash in more than 2 years). Instead I called our amazing new doctor's office and spoke with the nurse who completely calmed me down. She explained that it's likely that the rash is from the fever and that he's not suffering from anything serious. And, she has even squeezed us in for an appointment after Chloe's well-baby visit.
So, today isn't going exactly as planned.
Oh the joys of parenting!

UPDATE: Matthew is fine. The rash was from the fever, and he's feeling much better. Though we're really glad his birthday party is next weekend - not tomorrow. By the end of the visit he had us all laughing over some of his comments. He was such a cutie.

This Saturday's Toronto Star ...

In case you're interested (why wouldn't you be???) Chloe's birth announcement will be in this Saturday's Toronto Star.
It's a miracle since I got kicked off their website about 6 times, managed to place a very expensive ad by accident, had that deleted and finally had a helpful woman figure ad placement out for me. Honestly, why make an online system that doesn't work????
Anyway ...
If you get the Star on the weekend, check it out. And, if you know me in person, save it for me. If you live too close to my house good luck finding a copy. I'll be sending Mike out to buy a bunch of newspapers.
As for the sleep situation - a nice afternoon nap made everything better. Matthew seems to be on the mend, and my WonderMommy dinner has arrived. All is well in my world again!

And I said it was easy ...

That was all till last night hit!
After a really nice dinner that our friends brought over, the evening became a bit of a challenge. First we realized that Matthew, who usually doesn't feel the need to go to bed EVER was lying on the floor saying he was sleepy.
Mike took his temperature and discovered that Matt had a fever, and truly wasn't feeling well. So, we let him sleep in our bed and then had some time with Chloe before I went to bed.
Not too bad.
Until Chloe realized it was night time which must mean time to eat and eat and eat. Instead of being the angel baby that we know and love, she ate and cried ALL NIGHT. From 10:30 till about 7 am she ate at least once an hour. And, when she did sleep, she refused to go in the bassinet because then she would scream some more. I was getting crankier and crankier. She was getting crankier and crankier. Finally at about 4:30 we both fell asleep while she was nursing and we woke up 2 hours later in the exact same position. weird.
to add to the fun of the evening, I had decided earlier in the day that I didn't want to be taking all the pain medication I was prescribed. So, instead of just taking a lower dose to wean myself, I just stopped taking anything. So, once Mike convinced me to take pain meds just a little longer things felt a little better. But, it took awhile for all of it to kick back in.
Needless to say, today I'm a little tired.
Matt is home from daycare today because he still has a fever, and the last thing we want to do is have him sick on his birthday. And, quite honestly, neither Mike nor I seem to have the energy to fight with him about getting dressed, going to daycare, etc etc. Besides, Matt has decided that he's really into watching Cityline and that is what we're doing today. And, hopefully we'll have a nice long nap this afternoon.

We're Home!

Yesterday evening, around 7:30 we all arrived home, safe and sound and in one piece!
We thought we would be home earlier, but Chloe had a jaundice test and it was borderline, so they extended our stay so we could enjoy one more yummy hospital lunch before going home. Luckily she passed the 4pm blood test, and we were allowed to go home.
Life with Chloe has been pretty wonderful!
I am totally in love with this baby. She's got a very sweet personality. She sleeps a lot. Basically, she wakes up to nurse and then looks at us for awhile and goes back to sleep.

I had fully planned to formula feed. With Matthew nursing was a major struggle. He cried a lot and rarely slept, and when he was hungry he just screamed more. Chloe is a little different. Because she is laid back, and I'm more relaxed about things, nursing has been a joy.
From the first time I tried to feed her she latched beautifully, and I can honestly say that the bonding experience everyone told me breastfeeding is actually is true in this case. I'm thrilled.
We're still going to introduce formula so I can get more sleep and have more flexibility. But, all that will come in time. For now I'm just enjoying being a new mommy and all that it entails.

My c-section went really really well.
I'm in very little pain (okay, thanks to pain meds). There were a few moments where I was in agony, and I'm still taking the stairs slowly, but I'm not complaining. The incision is healing beautifully, and I'm not in a ton of pain. And, because Chloe is so tiny the incision isn't sore when I nurse.

I was surprised by how low the incision is. When I asked my doctor how low it is she told me that it's called a bikini incision, and she is confident that when warm weather is here the incision will be healed. GOOD TO KNOW!!!
It's all about getting into a bikini :)
Anyway, here are some pics.
I'm still feeling a bit groggy from all the meds, so I'm not sure if this makes tons of sense but I wanted to show you my little girl.
Matthew is doing very well also. He is loving the new role of Big Brother, and has already been showing Chloe how to play with toys. She particularly enjoyed playing catch with him.
And as for the cats ... Rosie, the kitten, is confused. Mojo is standoffish. We're all good around here!

Much Anticpated Pictures!

And here she is:

Introducing: Chloe Jessica!

On behalf of Mommy Laural and her husband and son, here is little Chloe.

I can assure you Mommy Laural is doing well and little Chloe is a jewel!

More pictures will be coming soon!