Saturday, February 24, 2007

Hair ... or The Day I Cheated on Bill

Last week I cheated on my beloved Bill (my hair stylist) - he's near the bottom of that link.
I didn't mean to. I promise.
I've always gone to Bill to cut my hair and gone elsewhere for colour. Bill doesn't colour hair; it would be someone else at his salon who does it. So, I never think twice about going somewhere else to get my colour done.
Here's why.
I usually tell people that it is because it would cost a lot of money to get highlights done at Bill's Salon. This is likely true. However, let me tell you, my beloved internet friends, the truth behind the hair colour thing and cut thing.
When I go and see Bill I work hard at being cool. I plan the outfit in advance. I book the appointment weeks ahead of time. Closer to the appointment I think up conversation topics and events in my life that have been interesting and/or humourous. You have to understand that Bill is a celebrity in his own right and I'll say, "so what have you been up to?" and he will say something like "not much, just went to Italy and France, and then was on Cityline a few times." My life pales in comparison.
So when he says "how about you?" I can't wing it. In fact, if I saw him outside of my well planned visits I think I would have no idea what to say.
You have to understand that this is the person who talked me into going to journalism school and taking as many driving tests as necessary till I finally passed (incidentally we both got our licenses at the same age). I respect and admire him - and I want him to at least think I'm successful in life in my own right.
He is the king of cool to me.
Now the average appointment with him is about 45 minutes start to finish. I feel I have a sufficient cool quotient to get me through 45 minutes every few months.
Hair colour would add at least 2 hours.
I sware I am not cool enough. I would run out of conversation topics. I understand that I would not be spending all of the time with him, but I would feel the need to make whomever is doing the colour like me, and I may fail. And so much for my reputation.
So, I go elsewhere.
And, I haven't found a place I like so I always try different salons.
Last week I went to a new place near my house.
I booked highlights. I explained I didn't want a cut.Prior to going to the appointment I talked with the guy doing highlights. It was very clear.
The guy's name was Dominick.
I went in for the appointment. It was going okay. Now, I have to admit I was totally thrown off by the fact that he was straight and oozing with testosterone. Weird. But I had to trust him once the bleach was in my hair. We ran out of conversation topics really quickly.
So, the topic of who usually cuts my hair comes up. Usually hairstylists have heard of Bill. He's known. Once I had someone actually study the haircut while doing highlights. It's what I expect. Give the guy some respect.
But Dominick had never heard of Bill, and since he hadn't heard of Bill, the conversation moved on to the topic of celebrity hairstylists in general. Somehow Jie came up. He is quite famous (I first read about him in Toronto Life, I think). I've never been to him or his salon, but I just thought everyone knew of him - especially hairstylists. But, Dominick had no clue. So I whipped out my blackberry and googled him.
Apparently this annoyed Dominick. He felt the testosteroney need to prove he was better.
So, there I was with my hair in foil arguing with a hair stylist I'd never been to about another hairstylist I had never been to, who I don't really care about, but whose honour I was defending for the mere fact that he was being criticized for absolutely no reason. And, I'm guessing that despite Jie's arrogant reputation he is not nearly as annoying Dominick.
And, then in the middle of me waiting for my hair colour to sink in he comes back to tell me that he's been to Jie's website now, he's not that good, but that he liked the lime green hairstyle. Ummm, hello. That is not what you should tell someone who has not yet seen her colour,. (check out the portfolio and though it is lovely the green do it is not what I was going for)
Then he left and I sat and sat and sat and contemplated all that was this appointment.
Finally my hair was ready to be washed and styled. Or so I thought.
We washed out the bleach and colour - and he pulls out his scissors.
"So, how are we cutting it?" he asks me.
I looked at him dumbfounded and finally said "we're not cutting it."
The guy freaks out - completely. And starts shouting "I plan my colour around the cut. You must cut it."
Finally I gave in. I know. Stupid. But the guy was wielding scissors and I was scared. In the end the hair cut wasn't so bad. I was very insistent that it was a trim. The experience sucked. He managed to criticize Bill's haircut, my hair type (normal) , my hair colour and my face shape. He insisted that I straighten my hair since my hair doesn't look healthy in its natural state.
Amazingly, I left there looking pretty darn good - especially since my hair had been significantly lightened and I had, afterall, just learned that "blondes are much hotter than brunettes".
I'm now living with the look.
To be honest, it's growing on me. I like how my hair looks straightened. I kind of like the highlights (despite one meltdown the other day).
What I don't like is the way I feel after being there.
The thing I love about Bill, what I have always loved, and what everyone else probably loves is that he doesn't try to change everything about me. My hair is my hair. It's got body. No matter what hair cut I've had that has always been incorporated.
I'm guessing if he knew I was straightening it every day he'd probably tell me not to - not because it doesn't look good, but because it's not me. He's all about enhancing things about yourself. He cuts my hair with the bit of natural wave I have because why fight it. He encourages layers so my face doesn't look round (though he never says that). He makes sure that when I leave I feel beautiful and that I like myself.
These days when I get up in the morning I feel like to be pretty I need my brand new straightening iron. I need to style and fluff and then leave the house looking decent. And, that's not how Bill makes me feel. Somehow he has this amazing power to look at me, fluff my hair, tell me I'm gorgeous and then send me on my way.
Sure it's a little pricey, but it's worth every penny. And, the truth is that at the end of the day, knowing that someone like Bill has a high regard for me makes me feel pretty damn great most of the time - even if I can't be bothered to pull out my straightening iron or touch up my new blonde highlights. (I actually plan to go dark when my roots show)
I wonder if Bill knows this. Maybe I'll print this and mail it to him (he doens't read my blog). And then he'll get just why so many people love him.
You know, I'm pretty sure that Bill will forgive me for cheating. I've done it before and he forgave me. And, I'm pretty sure if someone was threatenng him with scissors and a complete meltdown he'd probably do the same thing.
Who knows - maybe he'll think the blonde is hot. Ha.
Posted below are a couple of pics. One is me now - straightened hair and all. The other is the old me, dark hair and a few waves. I'd love to hear your opinions on the looks. So ... what do you think????

Above - This is the new "do" straightened and lightened.
Below - dark hair with a little more body.


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. I TOTALLY plan the conversation that I will have with my hair dresser Lisa for the exact same reason that you do. I think he would like to know you blogged about him. That should at least be worth 20 mins of discussion.

Ruthie said...

You look lovely with the new do, but come ON... what a jerk. Blondes are hotter than brunettes? He really said that?

Wow... oh, and how can I reach Bill? He sounds dreamy.

P.S. The "word verification" for this post spells out "boobem." Hehe.

Searaygal said...

I love the new 'do'!

I'm very seriously thinking about going Auburn very very soon! Time for some changes!

Nat said...

I think your highlights look really nice!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

Hair looks great. It's funny though, I'm the total opposite. I don't need the serious chit chat when I get my hair done. I want my hair washed and I want to close my eyes and enjoy it. I want to close my eyes and almost sleep when getting my hair cut. I just love people touching my hair and I don't need conversation to distract from the experience. To each their own...I can't find the time to think about my conversations though....Perhaps thats why I usually just get my friends to cut my hair.