So yesterday was my birthday. I'm a ripe old 28 which doesn't really make me old or make me young.
Pretty much an uneventful year.
But as always I was looking forward to my birthday. I love birthdays and expect this will always be the case, but yesterday I realized that birthdays do get a little less exciting as I get older.
Don't get me wrong. My family made a really nice dinner for me and we had a nice time. I got some great gifts (apparently teaching Matt to say "Pedicure" was effective ... next year I will have to teach him "Louis Vuitton" and make a little more $$) and I think between my son and my niece the song happy birthday was sung about 37 times. I even got a surprise birthday cake from my co-workers.
It was all pretty fun.
But, what was missing?
I think I really wanted to be like my 2 year old at his birthday. It wasn't just a day, it was sheer joy!
From the moment he woke up it was pure excitement. He didn't really know what was going on. He just woke up to a giant Bob the Builder balloon - okay that part sort of freaked him out - but it was just fun. He had several different parties. He had a party with Grandma and Becky and his cousins, he had a party at the old daycare he had just left (and, yes, I sobbed, but that is another story), he had a party at a pretty cool restaurant, he had a party with a few friends and then with all his adult friends. He was a little birthdayed out, but it was worth it.
I am not saying that is what I want now.
What I really want is to feel as excited by life and full of sheer joy as he is.
And, what stood out to me about his birthday, and about him when he goes to other kids' birthday parties is just how much enjoyment he gets out of it.
When Matty opened a cool gift, it wasn't him being excited and the other kids being jealous. They just all wanted to pass the toys around and play with them. And, Matt was just as excited to have kids playing with his toys as with playing on his own. In fact he enjoyed it more.
The other day we went to a birthday for his friend Ethan. Matt's eyes almost bulged out of his head when he saw that Ethan had a gigantic bouncy castle (it was the size of Matt's bedroom and all you did was jump.) And, instead of being jealous of Ethan's cool toys, backyard and play house he was just excited to be sharing in the fun.
So, I guess I'm kind of looking at myself in a different light this birthday.
I think maybe I need to be less excited about my own stuff, and just as excited for others. Maybe it's my perspective that needs to be changed not my experiences.
But, I am really glad I worked so hard at teaching Matt the word "pedicure."