Saturday, December 01, 2007


Last night I officially lost it.
I've been sick, and tired.
This pregnancy has taken more out of me than I care to admit, but I'm trying to keep it together. I'm trying to get work done, be a good mom, be a good wife and get ready for Christmas. For the most part I keep it together.
And then there was last night.
Matt woke up in the middle of the night puking. He's got a horrible cough, and he coughed so hard he threw up.
So, Mike and I cleaned him up, and he came to sleep in my bed while Mike took the couch. This worked for a couple of hours until 2:00 when Matt's coughing kept waking me up. I was trying to sleep, but the constant coughing was driving me up the wall.
So I decided to move him.
In order to do this I had to take the blankets off the top bunk of his bunk bed and move them to the bottom bunk because I can't lift Matt up to the top bunk.
As I was moving the blankets, one of his toys - the f*&%ing Puzzle Bug came flying out of the blanket on the upper bunk and whacked me in the eye.
I've put up with more than enough. A toy in the eye was pretty much more than I could handle, especially at 2 am.
So, there I was grasping my eye, crying, and trying to make Matt's bed.
I then woke him up to move him. By that point I wasn't even aware I was still crying. I just was. So Matt started crying. So there we were, both sobbing, while trying to move beds.
Poor Mike stumbled up the stairs at this point thinking there was some major crisis.
The ridiculousness of the situation didn't occur to me at the time.
Mike calmed Matthew down and then came to figure out why I was so upset.
At this point I'd cleaned up the blood (cause yes, it did actually cut me) and was just standing in the bathroom crying.
I think I managed to say "I've had enough. I can't handle this."
Wisely Mike just let me cry. And cry. And cry.
He knows me well enough that when I hit the point of not being able to put to make sense of my tears I probably just need some space to cry.
Eventually I fell asleep. Exhausted, in pain, and just utterly utterly frustrated.
Now that it's morning the outlook is a little brighter.
My eye is cut, but at least I don't have a black eye. I'm still deaf in one ear, but at least it's not throbbing anymore. My nose is still stuffy, and my throat still hurts. But they are bearable.
I'm hoping that cleaning the house, listening to Christmas music and having an afternoon nap will make things a little better.
But seriously, ENOUGH!


AndreAnna said...

Way to make me look forward to this pregnancy! ;)

Seriously, sorry you're had a rough night but I know what you mean about hitting your breaking point.

I know it will get better for you once this cold passes. I have my fingers crossed!

Kerry J. said...

Awwww - this post makes me want to drive over and give you a big hug!! Hang in there - it gets better (and I hope Matty feels better soon). Call me if you need anything!

SciFi Dad said...

uh... cleaning house makes you feel better?

Want to come over to my house?

(In all seriousness, I hope you're feeling better.)

lettuce said...

Ok, so I had a meltdown this week and thought of you. In the midst of my sobbing (and really, it was about nothing in particular...just needed a sob), I thought "I have a friend who would understand this"!