Yesterday, in the middle of various medical appointments, I had a break for lunch.
Thankfully all went well yesterday, and I feel a lot better about a lot of things. But, it was pretty stressful. Really, I find all these doctors appointments stressful.
But, I had a lunch break.
I debated all sorts of things. I walked around a few stores, and I walked around a busy food court and nothing appealed to me.
And then it hit me.
I was going to have a nice lunch - by myself.
I don't do that often.
I have to admit, it's one of my favourite things to do. I discovered my love of a table for one when I used to be a tour guide. For a few summers I would take grade 7 and 8 students on trips to places like Ottawa and Quebec City. And, we would often have a couple of hours when the kids would be eating lunch and shopping, and we could have lunch, a break, etc.
With some of the nicer schools the teachers would invite me to join them for lunch. Sometimes I hung out with the bus drivers. On the odd occassion the kids would ask me to have lunch with them. But, my favourite thing by far was, specifically in Quebec City, finding a quiet little restaurant and having a delicious lunch.
My all time favourite was a steaming hot bowl of French Onion Soup at this little bistro in Old Quebec.
The first couple of times I went for lunch by myself I hid behind a book or some work. But, then I stopped caring. I loved people watching. I loved listening to the waiters and waitresses discussing patrons. I loved the peace and quiet of it.
And I loved that people left me alone. I loved that it didn't bother me to be sitting alone. I knew I had friends. I knew I had options. But, this peace and quiet was new to me. I like to be surrounded by people. It shocked me that I embraced this.
And yesterday, while stressing about way too much stuff, I stopped and had lunch with myself. No book. No blackberry. No friends. Just me, some pasta, and a lovely break.
And within minutes I remembered what I loved so much about the quiet. For a few minutes I thought about what was on my mind. I stopped worrying about all the stuff that has been bugging me and stressing me out, and I realized that sometimes it's nice to just sit and be alone.
Okay - so I'll admit, it didn't bring peace to my entire day. An hour or so later I had a meltdown of EPIC proportions (that only a dramatic hormonal and overly tired pregnant woman could have). But, that's another story for another day!
And, in case anyone thought that I may be announcing the sex of the baby today ... HA!!! You make me laugh. I have NO freaking clue. As part of yesterday's fun I went to probably the worst ultrasound clinic in the world. And not just worst. Weirdest. And they told me nothing. I finally had to ask if there was a heart beat (there was). Ugggh.
The good news is it's a baby. It's still 50/50 whether it's a girl or a boy. Feel free to guess. I'm thinking I'll have to go with psychic predictions.
But, last night I talked to Matt about it. I said that I was waiting to hear from my doctor to find out if the baby in my tummy was a boy or girl. He looked at me so seriously and said, "But Mommy, you already have a girl in there. Why would it become a boy."
Ever since we told Matthew I'm having a baby he's been 100% convinced it's a baby girl. It's a little freaky how sure he is. Time will tell, I guess.
Have I mentioned I'm frustrated with not knowing?