It's been a bit of a crazy week around here.
But thanks to everyone for the kind comments, words of concern, etc.
There's so much I want to talk about and say and share, but sometimes it's hard to put the thoughts into words.
I want to talk about my conversation with Matthew about death, about how he has decided that Great Grandma is so much happier now that she is an angel.
I want to talk about the insanity of spending hours on end with people who you know don't like you all that much.
I want to talk about how much one kind word can make you feel so good. And about how one gesture can make you cry.
But, some of this is so hard to say right now because I'm tired and I'm sad. Really really sad. I feel guilty that I never got to say goodbye because the day I was going to go visit my grandma was the day she died.
But for now I'm not dwelling on that. What I'm most worried about is that I get through the eulougy I have to do tomorrow without bursting into tears. (and no, these tears are not for "dramatic effect").
I have to admit, I'm kind of hoping that there are no English professors in the room while I do this eulogy because I discuss, briefly, how my grandmother played the role of Fifth Business in my life. If there are any Robertson Davies aficionados out there you may not be impressed. It's a stretch, but I like it.
Wish me luck ...
And remind me to tell you about how my aunt and uncle live in a town overrun by 6 foot lizards. ick. I had an entire 20 minutes conversation about how wild boars like hogzilla are running wild in my aunt and uncles town (same town as the lizards) but I'm welcome to visit whenever I want. Seriously.
As I said - it's been a LOOOOONNNG week.
3 comments:
Laural,
You are a bright articulate person and I am sure the eulogy will be heartful and beautiful. Your grandmother will be very proud of you.
Hang in there, these are trying times but you'll get thru it and don't be sad you didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I think your Gran knows what is in your heart and you shouldn't worry for that.
Email me at office if you need anything or if there is anything I can do for you
Good luck with the eulogy, and I know you'll do just fine. Fifth Business is one of my favourite books, I'm sure your grandmother would be very happy to know that she played such a role in your life. Sometimes, it's those watching over us who make the greatest influence.
Six foot lizards? Are you serious?
I think that giving the Eulogy is exactly what you need right now. It will, in a twisted way, make you feel better about everything and give you some closure that you may be seeking.
Good luck, you will be just fine! You are such a strong person, I know you can do it AND if a few or many tears come during the process, remember that it is ok. It's all a part of it. No one will hold them against you. Be you! Your grandmother will be proud!
I would love to hear about your conversation with Matt, for sure!
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