Hills and Cheetos and Smiles

If you ever join a running clinic you’ll be introduced to a new fear … hill training.

It’s part of every running clinic, and people talk about the fear of hills pretty much from the moment clinic starts.

Last night … dunh dunh dunh … was hill training.

(admittedly so was last week, but I was sick and the warm up did me in. I don’t even remember the hill part).

Usually clinic nights start out at the local store and then we do a route around the area. It started with a 3k run and progressed to about a 6k route. This week we met at a local park (kind of local. I got lost) with a lot of hills. We did a 20 minute warm-up, ran 4 huge hills, and then did a 20 minute cool-down.

The warm up went well. I enjoyed it. The we got our hill route. There were lots of runners out because another clinic group was training on those same hills. I was walking down the hill with our coach when I realized that everyone running these hills was smiling. SMILING. Call me crazy, but I did not expect that.

Because we were all going at different speeds and setting our paces what you started to see was people almost in lines on either side of hill. What started to happen was that on the walk/slow jog down people were screaming and cheering encouragement to the people running up the other side of the hill. As soon as someone heard the cheers this huge smile would cross their face. At first people were cheering for the group we were familiar with, but as everyone started crossing over, there was more cheering.

Last night I did 4 hills. It was pretty awesome. I thought I’d hate hills. I didn’t. I thought they were awesome. And I can’t tell you whether I preferred cheering on the runners or being cheered when I made it to the top.

It’s funny how these small successes seem monumental lately.

Sometimes I feel like all of this focus on running and yoga keeps me from focusing on other stuff, but I don’t think that’s really true. I was talking about Matt’s school issues. You know, it didn’t get any easier. Every day my 8 year old came home from school sad.

Tuesday night he was downright miserable. He’d had an argument with his best friend at recess, and trust me when I say he looks soooo forward to recess. (it was a typical 8 year old disagreement). Add to that the fact he ate practically nothing all day because he’s not in a routine, and he was a mess.

Now I can’t solve all the problems of the world. I can’t even solve all the problems of my kids. But one thing I can do is comfort food. Tell me all you want about how bad cheetos are, how meatloaf is fattening, how you shouldn’t eat your way out of your issues and that red food dye is evil. BUT, if you ask me, it’s called comfort food for a reason and if my kid isn’t eating I can do comfort food. So, off we walked to the grocery store. We bought cookies, candy, chips and all the ingredients for Matt’s favourite food, meatloaf. Oh – and we talked, about school, about friendships and about the importance of knowing the difference between Lego Star Wars and Lego Star Wars the Clone Wars.  And then I came home and made meatloaf.

And yesterday. School success. I came in to a kid who told me “my day was perfect.” He ate his lunch! There’s a new kid in his class that he likes. He did well on a math quiz. He had amazing recesses.

Maybe a thumbs-up kind of day isn’t always monumental. But right now it’s so necessary. And you know what? I’m going to celebrate the small successes. Because sometimes … they are huger than anything we can ever imagine.

Senior Kindergarten ... Here we come!

Yesterday Matt went to school.
He's no longer the little jk kid who was excited and frightened about a new adventure. Nope. he's an sk.
he knew he was visiting his classroom for half an hour. He was thrilled he got half an hour with his teacher, his beloved teacher, to tell her about his summer and to show her he could read.
When we left jk in June he could read a couple of site words ("the" was his favourite). He knew his letter sounds. He had no interest in reading or writing.
And his teacher suggested that we try to encourage reading.
We took her advice, but we let him go at his own pace. A word here, a word there. Lots of excitement (genuine) when he sounded out the word Mom (spelled mam) and wrote it everywhere.
And over the summer he started reading more. One day sounds started to make sense. his world exploded. In place of playing lego in his bedroom he started looking through books, shrieking for us to help him with a word.
And we let him go at his own pace. Lots of encouragement. no pushing. Even though it killed me that he didn't love to read like I did, I let it go. And we let him learn the love of language on his own.
And yesterday we went to see his teacher.
And she pulled out her pile of site words.
22 words.
And he read them. Each and every word. By himself. Because he wanted to.
I was sitting in the hall chatting with the special ed teacher.
What I told the special ed teacher, the woman who I wish I didn't know because of her job function, was that over the summer I learned that instead of making Matt fit my mold I learned I have to fit his. I have to meet him where he is at.
And, it's working.
When his teacher came to bring me into the classroom she had tears in her eyes. Because she spent all of jk struggling with me, knowing that my amazing child could be amazing - if we could just figure out how.
"He blew me away."
Me too.
Because my child. The kid who has ADHD. The child who tells me that sometimes his brain just won't work right. My child decided he can.
Being a mom is amazing. Not always. We all know that. The temper tantrums, the anger. That's all part of what goes on in his brain. It's something we are working with and conquering and maybe even embracing. But seeing my child accomplish something that is really really hard amazes me.
it puts me in my place.
And it reminds me that as much as I need to accept that he struggles I can't accept mediocrity for my child.

I didn't post this last year. But, if you want to see how far we've come, here's an e-mail I sent to a few people about the exact same visit last year. We've come a long way, baby!

"Seriously ... worst visit ever!!!!
We were supposed to go for a half hour visit. We got forms to fill out while the teacher showed Matt the classroom.
So, the classroom visit went really well. He had no problem with us staying in the hall and did everything she asked. He drew pictures and even did letters (something he will not do for us). He was happy and laughing, etc.
So then she brought us in. We were talking about behavioural issues and so she let him have a "quick play" with one bucket of toys. So, we talked for quite awhile and he was happily playing away. And then she said it was tidy up time.
He refused.
So she said she would help him tidy and play. (at which point we were baffled as to whether we should let her do her thing or intervene, but we let her do her thing). So he shouted at her. And then started throwing toys. It was awful. By the end of the impromptu tidy up session he was screaming "I hate you Ms. Teacher. I am very angry right now". I was trying not to cry while at the same time relieved he was just shouting not hitting.
And then he turns to her and screams "I am very angry at you Ms.Teacher. Very angry and your tidy up time must change." Then he turned on his heel, grabbed the backpack and very dramatically said "this stupid visit is now over and I'm outta here."
Mike went with him and to my relief his teacher cracked up and told me that kids tend to be a little over-excited and have extreme reactions, and that I don't need to worry too much. And, I hit the point of laughing almost hysterically because otherwise I would have started to cry.
At least she didn't think I was the crazy parent who was trying to diagnose my kid with an issue that was non-existent.
It was horrible and funny all at the same time. Mike was quite glad to be going back to work.

The funny thing is that when we were eating lunch we were talking about it a bit. Matt turned to me and said "that Ms. Teacher seems very nice. Only 2 more sleeps till I go back!" I'm sure Ms.Teacher is counting down the days also."