Sunday, January 28, 2007

Long Time Gone

It feels like I haven't blogged for awhile. And, I know it's been awhile because a couple of people have mentioned it. I mean, I've said the random thing here and there, but lately it's been pretty quiet.
Why?
Well, because sometimes it's hard to write about your life. And, lately I've been questioning it a bit. I started this blog because I wanted to write about my son. I loved the idea of sharing the craziness of motherhood with other people. Someone I pretty much idolize encouraged me to, and I did. And it's been fun.
It's pretty cool knowing that people read about my life and that they care. I love knowing that my niece goes online with my sister to look at pictures of Matty (and of her and her sister). It's cool that friends I don't see very often check it out. It's amazing to me that I sent an e-mail to my best friend from elementary school, who I haven't seen since I was 14, and she saw the link and has been reading (and in some cases relating to my life).
That is cool.
But there are some things that aren't so cool. It's weird knowing that people at work read this. Not everyone - but some people. You can't limit it. Nor can you decide that one day one friend can read and another can't.
It bugs me that I can't be as open as I would like to be. Sure I'm a little negative here, but not really. Without getting into details (because, obviously I can't) there's just some crappy stuff going on right now. And, I don't really know who I can rely on, who I can trust, etc etc. And here would be a great place for it. All of it. Except that I'm not anonymous. And, I wish I were.
(Mom, if you are reading this don't worry - yes, you know the whole story we chatted about it at Starbucks).
I asked someone, another blogger, his opinion of letting people at work in on your life. He didn't say I was crazy, but it's not his practice. At the time I didn't quite understand his point. Now I do.
My point is this. Some people suck. And, knowing sucky people read my blog sucks. So, instead of writing around it and not talking about it I am. Maybe I'll switch blogs. It's not the first time someone has done that. Or maybe I'll get over it and stop being sensitive and remember that at the end of the day it's my choice to write or not to write and how much I share and don't share.
I'm not going to be negative and say all the crap stuff. I think at the end of the day, I'm writing what I know - and what I want to write. And I would way rather talk about the cool adorable funny stuff that Matt does than the crap that sometimes arises outside of home.
Good? Good.
But for those of you who know me - what do you think? Continue? Take a break? Just wondering what you think.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through Rebecca Ecklers - have been reading for about a month or so and quite enjoy your stories. My advice is don't write about it. Especially if it's about work, which it sounds like it is. If the story could cause bad blood it's not worth the risk to write about it on your blog. Why cause unnecessary hardship in your 'real' life. Though I have to admit - now that you've brought it up I am dying to know the scoop.

Searaygal said...

Hey Laural,

If you need a break, serioulsy, take one. I'm learning that one myself right now. And while I'm finding it extremely hard to say no to things that I desperately want to do, I know I need the rest and I'll be the better for it soon enough.

If you need to talk over Latte's I could use it too!

Amy :)

Amanda said...

Gosh, hard call! I know what you mean about sometimes craving to be an anonymous blogger, I have those same thoughts ever once in a while. My thoughts...just don't write about work. Keep this blog, blog about your life, Matty, etc., just leave work out of it and if you need to vent about work, then start up a new blog, totally separate?! You could always email the people who you don't mind reading your stuff and telling them about your new space?

Ruthie said...

Hi Laural,

I know what you mean. Writing about your problems can be cathartic, and when you feel like you can't safely let your feelings out, that's a crappy feeling.

That was actually precisely why no one whom I know in "real life" knows I have a blog. I wouldn't want any of them to read it!

Write everything down anyway-- even if no one reads it, putting your thoughts on paper somehow helps to clear your mind and clarify your thoughts and frustrations.