Going For 20 ...

There's absolutely no question that I have talked a lot about weight on this blog. It's one of those things that no matter how much I avoid the subject in my life it's always there. Always bugging me. Always on my mind.
Here's the thing about me, my weight fluctuates with my mood. And god knows my mood fluctuates a lot. I've often said that there's nothing chocolate can't cure. And, that's not just a line for me. I really do believe that. (though it's not just chocolate. chips, candy, steak ...)
And, I'll say this has been true most of my life.
It's true exercise helps. I actually enjoy working out, to a point. When I'm stressed a good (short) run calms me down. Or at least channels the frustration. So, I've relied on burning calories so I'm not a million pounds.
But I've also learned something about myself. An amazing guage of how well i'm coping in life is whether I get up in the morning and work out.
I mean, we all need rest days, of course. But, if I'm not up and working out 3 out of 7 days. and can't drag myself out of bed - that's kind of a problem. And it means life is getting too much for me.
I should have had a nice clear sign when I quit my gym membership with no workout program in sight. Or when I was waking up progressively earlier to get to work. Or just getting annoyed at life.
Thankfully Christmas came. And I took a couple weeks off. And we decided to keep the gym memberships cancelled. And we got a treadmill. And life got back on track for me.
Except I went one step further. And I decided to watch what I'm eating. I didn't go back to the old fall back of Weight Watchers (no offense to it, I've just done it a lot). I simply downloaded an app that lets me track calories.
And I made a decision that I'm sticking by.
I will get up and exercise because it keeps me sane. And my mood will not control my eating.
Period. To stay on track I'm writing it all down (or typing it in to be exact).
So that I can see that I'm in control.
And when I miss a day or lose control it's not going to own me. If I have chocolate it isn't an excuse to eat a cheeseburger. It's just chocolate.
Here's the thing.
I've been doing this for 7 weeks now.
And I'm feeling good about myself. I'm enjoying the workouts (I've added kettle bells - OMG - so good so hard). I'm feeling healthy. I'm enjoying salads.
And I've lost weight. I've lost 17 pounds. I've finally passed the number that I never seem to dip below. And I passed that 8 pounds ago.
I have about 20 to go. And I think I'll get there.But, 17 is a milestone for me. I'm actually not afraid of the scale these days. And I'm enjoying the process.
And soon I will hit 20 lbs lost. Who knew 2011 would be the year to do this?
Anyone wanna run a 5k with me this summer?