Saturday, October 03, 2009

Sleep ... I need it

Yesterday I had this whole post written on sleep. On how I'm exhasuted and burnt out and OMG, could I please just go away to a remote island (or you know, a quiet hotel with room service and good cable channels) and sleep and relax for at least 3 nights.
And those feelings still persist.
And my husband is still cranky from lack of sleep. As am I.
And this weekend will still be a bustle of activity wherein we try to fit in our kids activities (gymnastics/birthday party), the necessary weekend stuff (like cleaning and grocery shopping) and we will maybe be able to sneak in some other stuff that we should do like going to the gym and buying new clothes for the kids (the nanny made me a list of what we need - that's how disorganized I am).
But last night when I got home from work my perspective kind of changed.
Chloe was sitting on the floor colouring pictures with our nanny.
A little later on, when Chloe fell asleep and we had our "family quiet time" Matt sat reading to me. Let me repeat. He pulled out a book and READ TO ME. Getting all the words.
And I realized that when people tell me that this time will go quickly and that I will miss this time. Maybe they are right.
I will not miss the lack of sleep.
I am really looking forward to the moment when Chloe goes in her own bed, sleeps through the night and wakes up refreshed.
I am looking forward to the moment when Matt can wake up in the morning and pour his own cereal and watch tv while I sleep in.
But I also know that the moments that happen  the rest of the time, Chloe learning new words, Matt reciting the poems he learns at school, both us attempting cartwheels in the front yard, laughing at the silly things we all do ... I will miss those.
Even if the lack of sleep sometimes makes me appreciate them less.
And I'm pretty sure that one day Mike and I won't be so cranky with each other. And we'll stop snapping over the little things.
And I'm confident that one day Matt will be a little calmer and quieter and realize that he does not ALWAYS need to shout to get his point across.
And I know that Chloe will get bigger and not be quite so clingy and I'll be able to close the bathroom door and pee in peace knowing that she will sit still and watch tv for 30 seconds...
I hope.
Because sometimes I feel like my sanity is hanging by a thread over here.
And if I'm being totally honest, I don't really think I'm one of those people who will miss these days. I may look back on them fondly. But miss them? Not so much.
I'm ready to embrace middle school and teenage hood, etc. etc. You know - the days when you get a little bit of sleep.

You do, right????

My Super Kids


SciFi Dad said...

I SO know what you mean about sleep AND snapping at one another.

lettuce said...

I find my spouse and I lack sleep and snap at each other and we don't even have kids! G*D help me.