Post-Baby Weight Debate

It's been almost 4 weeks since I've given birth and of course my mind has gone to the topic of weight.
Prior to getting pregnant I was trying to lose weight. I had a goal weight of, let's call the number x, and I was, on average, 15 lbs over that number. I had kind of plateaued and had been there for awhile. I was happy there, and a nice enough size, but realistically would have liked to be 15 lbs less.
With Chloe I gained about 25 lbs by the end. So, nothing near the 87 lbs I had to lose with Matthew (that I lost except for 15 lbs, but it took me 3 years). With Matt I was able to lose about 10-15 lbs, and then I had major problems. A huge part of it was over-eating which I later learned should have been attributed to ppd. But, the point is, I found that the numbers didn't really come down. Or, they did and would go right back up.
For me it was horrible going clothes shopping because we had very little money, so I was watching every penny I spent, but nothing fit. And, really, the larger you are the worse cheap clothes look on you. (I could show you pictures). And I refused to wear my maternity clothes. Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment.
So, with this birth I decided that I didn't want to go through all of that - hence less weight gain. I was worried about how long it would take to lose the weight.
here's the funny thing. I now weigh exactly the same amount that I did before I got pregnant. Great, eh?
Not so much. I still need to wear clothes that are 3 sizes bigger (which, thank God, still lands me in regular sizes). I'm afraid to pull out most of my pre-pregnancy clothes because I know trying them on will be discouraging - and painful. I'm not sure if it's cause of the c-section or because of being pregnant - or both - but all of the excess weight is in 2 places: my boobs (not a bad thing) and my lower tummy. It's like my body has completely re-shaped itself.
I've been doing some research on this, and it is apparently fairly normal, but it can take 1-2 years of exercise and LOTS of sit-ups to get your normal tummy back. That would be fine if I even liked my normal tummy, but I've never liked it. So, who knows ...
I find the whole thing rather baffling. If you think about it, if I'm the same weight now that I was pre-pregnancy and I'm fat in 2 specific places, there should be some places where I am skinnier. Right? Ummmm ... nope. I've looked. I would love it my legs were suddenly more sculpted or I had thinner arms. But no - same old body plus extra tummy. NOT fair.
I'm pretty sure that I can't do sit-ups yet (my doctor said 6 weeks before exercise), but I am walking. And, in a couple of weeks we're joining the Y as a family which means we get to do my favourite exercise - swimming!!! (though bummer that I will need to get a new bathing suit - cause that will be fun times. And a bikini wax. Ouch!)
Part of me is trying to be content at this weight, but then another part of me is thinking that we're going to Disneyworld in July. So, I'll have about 8 weeks to get in some sort of shape - and between eating healthy (easy to do in the summer), and exercising (going to the Y and bringing Matt to the park a lot - and we walk there) I could realistically lose about 10 lbs. Not quite a goal weight. But, enough to like my body a bit better. I can only imagine how many pictures we will be taking while we are there.
What I'd really like to do is come up with some sort of healthy meal plan to keep us all on track for being in slightly better shape for Disney. One day at a time.

Oh, and speaking of working out ... as you may remember, last year I did a 5k race in June. I put it on hold to have the baby, but plan to take it up in the summer or fall.
My friend, Lou, was an amazing help to me. He was the first person I ran 5 k with, gave me tons of encouragement and didn't let me give up when I said that running was not my thing.
Guess what? At the age of 66 he completed the Boston Marathon yesterday! His time was 4:35:31 and he came in 19,114th Place. I was pretty impressed! It's been his goal for a long time to do this, so the fact he made it there is pretty amazing.

Loving Age 4

There's a funny phenomenon happening a our house. Our entire family is loving age 4.
I know.
Weird.
I kept hearing to watch out for the age of 4 because it's called the "f*&%ing fours."
The thing is, I haven't seen it yet. Sure it's early days. But still. I'm loving it.
In the last couple of weeks Matt has decided being 4 means he can do a whole bunch of stuff. For instance, he's insisted for the last year that he CANNOT put his own shoes on (and how fun is it when you're 9 months pregnant putting your child's shoes on?). Then he turned 4. And "four-year-olds know how to put on their own shoes."
And on it goes. Forget about needing help with his clothes, he's 4.
Forget about being bad at a restaurant. As soon as we remind him he's 4 we're back on track.
Add in the whole big brother thing and it's amazing how much of a change is happening in our house. He wants to do his own bedtime routine (brushing teeth, putting on pj's). He's not fighting us in the mornings anymore because he chooses his own snacks to bring to daycare. There's no screaming and crying and bickering.
I think we've been laying the groundwork for this for awhile. But, it's amazing to see how it all comes together.
His new "thing" is the thumbs up. Okay, so I taught it to him, and I do it a lot. But, it's just a really easy way to say "good job" if he's listening well or doing something great. And, he's totally adopted it. I LOVE it!
Really. I just love age 4.
Matt has about 9 days left in daycare, and I'm finding that I'm looking forward to being home with him and his craziness full time.

Soooo Exciting!

So, have you seen it?

Of course I'm excited about this ... it's Rebecca Eckler's new book "Toddlers Gone Wild".
Here's the truth, I haven't read the whole book yet. It's a quick read, but like all good books, I'm hesitant to read it too quickly because then I will be done.
But so far, I'm LOVING this book.
It's funny. And it's quirky in a good way. And, since when I do get a chance to read I'm interrupted by a baby who needs to nurse or a 4 year old who wants to discuss Buzz Lightyear, the fact that it's all short sections is fantastic.
And, of course I love it even more than I would have anyway because my son, yep my son (!), is quoted in it. Adorable.
My confession. I've been sick since the weekend, but yesterday I was super sick - like shivering, high fever kind of sick, and so today I decided to not make any plans to do anything but sit at home, chill with Chloe and finish reading my book.
Can anyone think of a better day? Well, actually, a better day would be doing that without still sniffling, coughing and having a fever. But, whatever. Perfection.

Matt turns 4!

Matt blowing kisses to his fans

Matt's fourth birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and this past Saturday was his birthday party. After his party he officially decided he is 4!
So far I'm loving 4. He's been such a sweetheart and is working very hard at being a big boy. Here are some pictures of his birthday party. I'm not posting many because a) it was kind of hard to supervise and take pictures and b) I don't think it's fair to post other kids' pictures without their parents permission.
A lot of the kids who came to the party were daycare friends. We just gave our 2 weeks notice at the daycare, so I think next year will be junior kindergarten friends. I still can't believe I have a 4 year old!!!

Mike's masterpiece - an arial firetruck cake

How old is Matt???

Just before we left Matt told me that "Chloe was a really GWEAT birfday gift." What can possibly top that for his 5th birthday? Twins?

My Kids are Cute

I know ... we all think our kids are cute, but really sometimes I look at Matt and Chloe and am blown away by how beautiful they are.
At first I thought they looked alike, but as my friend told me, babies change every day, and really every day I see something different in Chloe. I'm still not so sure that she looks like someone in particular. Maybe she will - who knows.
As for Matthew. He's 4 now. Insane, I know. And, he's such a little boy. Even last year I could see the baby in him, but now I just see the kid.

Matthew Gardening

Our Happy Baby

And what other excitement is going on at our house? Let's see. Our street has been completely ripped up and we're getting new watermains. Exciting, no? It is to 4 year old boys, husbands and local highschool students who sit and watch the construction. Even a class of daycare kids came to see the action today.
Actually, it's kind of interesting to have all sorts of construction people right outside my door. It's quite fascinating to watch the whole process. And it sure beats a water main breaking and flooding my basement!

I Survived Day One

As any new parent will tell you, the first day that your spouse goes back to work after the birth of a baby is a little daunting.
When Matthew was born I was terrified. I clearly remember the day before. Mike drove us to pick up some necessary supplies at the drugstore and then we decided to get lattes from Starbucks. Since it was a busy day I stayed in the car with Matt while Mike got the lattes, and Matt started screaming which quickly turned into crying. By the time Mike returned to the car I was in tears also. By the time we got home I was pretty much panicked about being alone with an infant all day, and Mike was more than a little worried about leaving me alone.
I've told the story about a million times, about how that first day I was home alone, my neighbour came over and introduced herself, and in the end it all worked out okay.
That same neighbour (who now no longer a neighbour, but is a very close friend) sent me an e-mail last week telling me it will be okay this time.
And, today was that first day.
Okay, so granted Mike came home at lunch, both my mom and sister were by, and I have a calmer baby. But still...
It was weird.
The day started off a little rough with Chloe actually crying a LOT because she was a little under the weather. (she's fine).
But, I felt lonely.
I can't really go out to any mommy groups right now. Physically, the c-section is still taking its toll and I'm exhausted.
Emotionally I'm still kind of up and down. Like, when I tried to read Chloe's birth announcement to Matthew I started to cry. I'm not quite ready to meet new people when I'm just a couple steps away from an emotional meltdown at any given moment. How crazy is it that when I tell people that Chloe is a good nurser my eyes water. Forget about trying to announce that Matthew just turned 4. It's a little ridiculous.
So, for now, Chloe and I are getting reacquainted with our friends Regis and Kelly, Rachael Ray, Oprah and of course Marilyn Dennis (why is it that both Matthew and Chloe can sit transfixed and watch Brian Gluckstein for an entire hour of Cityline????).
The good news is I'm learning a lot. For instance, did you know it's not the end of the world if you don't have 8 glasses of water every day? Or how about if you cut out a tablespoon of butter everyday you could lose 2 lbs in 10 weeks. And, did you know Kathy Lee Gifford host the 4th hour of the Today Show? It's true. I didn't even know that there was a 4th hour of the today show. I've discovered that Valerie Bertinelli REALLY annoys me (almost as much as Marie Osmond) and that Whoopi Goldberg has no fashion sense.
Okay, really, I can't wait till I can get out and about more.
But at least I made it through day 1 and it only gets easier from here... right?

As If ...

Seriously ...
Last night was a pretty good night. We swaddled. We used the bassinet. Chloe slept.
Matthew went to bed feeling a bit feverish - nothing Motrin couldn't fix.
When Matt, Chloe and I got up I sent Mike back to bed since he was looking pretty tired. And, so there we sat - Mommy and her 2 babies - feeling pretty good. We had calm, we were all watching Buzz Lightyear. When it was over I asked Matthew if he wanted to hold Chloe.
It was a total Kodak moment until I reached over and gave Matt a hug and realized that he was covered with a rash. And holding the baby. Crap.
After panicking and waking Mike up I realized that we probably didn't need to go to the hospital. (in all fairness, this child hasn't had a rash in more than 2 years). Instead I called our amazing new doctor's office and spoke with the nurse who completely calmed me down. She explained that it's likely that the rash is from the fever and that he's not suffering from anything serious. And, she has even squeezed us in for an appointment after Chloe's well-baby visit.
So, today isn't going exactly as planned.
Oh the joys of parenting!

UPDATE: Matthew is fine. The rash was from the fever, and he's feeling much better. Though we're really glad his birthday party is next weekend - not tomorrow. By the end of the visit he had us all laughing over some of his comments. He was such a cutie.

This Saturday's Toronto Star ...

In case you're interested (why wouldn't you be???) Chloe's birth announcement will be in this Saturday's Toronto Star.
It's a miracle since I got kicked off their website about 6 times, managed to place a very expensive ad by accident, had that deleted and finally had a helpful woman figure ad placement out for me. Honestly, why make an online system that doesn't work????
Anyway ...
If you get the Star on the weekend, check it out. And, if you know me in person, save it for me. If you live too close to my house good luck finding a copy. I'll be sending Mike out to buy a bunch of newspapers.
As for the sleep situation - a nice afternoon nap made everything better. Matthew seems to be on the mend, and my WonderMommy dinner has arrived. All is well in my world again!

And I said it was easy ...

That was all till last night hit!
After a really nice dinner that our friends brought over, the evening became a bit of a challenge. First we realized that Matthew, who usually doesn't feel the need to go to bed EVER was lying on the floor saying he was sleepy.
Mike took his temperature and discovered that Matt had a fever, and truly wasn't feeling well. So, we let him sleep in our bed and then had some time with Chloe before I went to bed.
Not too bad.
Until Chloe realized it was night time which must mean time to eat and eat and eat. Instead of being the angel baby that we know and love, she ate and cried ALL NIGHT. From 10:30 till about 7 am she ate at least once an hour. And, when she did sleep, she refused to go in the bassinet because then she would scream some more. I was getting crankier and crankier. She was getting crankier and crankier. Finally at about 4:30 we both fell asleep while she was nursing and we woke up 2 hours later in the exact same position. weird.
to add to the fun of the evening, I had decided earlier in the day that I didn't want to be taking all the pain medication I was prescribed. So, instead of just taking a lower dose to wean myself, I just stopped taking anything. So, once Mike convinced me to take pain meds just a little longer things felt a little better. But, it took awhile for all of it to kick back in.
Needless to say, today I'm a little tired.
Matt is home from daycare today because he still has a fever, and the last thing we want to do is have him sick on his birthday. And, quite honestly, neither Mike nor I seem to have the energy to fight with him about getting dressed, going to daycare, etc etc. Besides, Matt has decided that he's really into watching Cityline and that is what we're doing today. And, hopefully we'll have a nice long nap this afternoon.

We're Home!

Yesterday evening, around 7:30 we all arrived home, safe and sound and in one piece!
We thought we would be home earlier, but Chloe had a jaundice test and it was borderline, so they extended our stay so we could enjoy one more yummy hospital lunch before going home. Luckily she passed the 4pm blood test, and we were allowed to go home.
Life with Chloe has been pretty wonderful!
I am totally in love with this baby. She's got a very sweet personality. She sleeps a lot. Basically, she wakes up to nurse and then looks at us for awhile and goes back to sleep.

I had fully planned to formula feed. With Matthew nursing was a major struggle. He cried a lot and rarely slept, and when he was hungry he just screamed more. Chloe is a little different. Because she is laid back, and I'm more relaxed about things, nursing has been a joy.
From the first time I tried to feed her she latched beautifully, and I can honestly say that the bonding experience everyone told me breastfeeding is actually is true in this case. I'm thrilled.
We're still going to introduce formula so I can get more sleep and have more flexibility. But, all that will come in time. For now I'm just enjoying being a new mommy and all that it entails.

My c-section went really really well.
I'm in very little pain (okay, thanks to pain meds). There were a few moments where I was in agony, and I'm still taking the stairs slowly, but I'm not complaining. The incision is healing beautifully, and I'm not in a ton of pain. And, because Chloe is so tiny the incision isn't sore when I nurse.

I was surprised by how low the incision is. When I asked my doctor how low it is she told me that it's called a bikini incision, and she is confident that when warm weather is here the incision will be healed. GOOD TO KNOW!!!
It's all about getting into a bikini :)
Anyway, here are some pics.
I'm still feeling a bit groggy from all the meds, so I'm not sure if this makes tons of sense but I wanted to show you my little girl.
Matthew is doing very well also. He is loving the new role of Big Brother, and has already been showing Chloe how to play with toys. She particularly enjoyed playing catch with him.
And as for the cats ... Rosie, the kitten, is confused. Mojo is standoffish. We're all good around here!

Much Anticpated Pictures!

And here she is:

Introducing: Chloe Jessica!

On behalf of Mommy Laural and her husband and son, here is little Chloe.

I can assure you Mommy Laural is doing well and little Chloe is a jewel!

More pictures will be coming soon!

A Little Princess

She's a girl!
Chloe Jessica was born at 12:29 pm today, March 28, 2008.
She is tiny - 6 lbs 6 oz.
We are totally in love.
Mommy is sore from a c-section, but managing the pain.
We will post pictures soon.

Tomorrow is the Big Day!!!

I'm so excited!
I've done the requisite blood tests. I've had the tour of the ward. I've met with the nurses. I've had the explanation of the spinal vs. epidural vs. spinal/epidural. In case you're wondering - I will likely have the spinal.
And, I feel more than ready.
In 24 hours or so we'll be pretty much ready to go. We'll be dropping Matt off at daycare and then off to the hospital.
I've been told that with a planned c-section there's a lot of "hurry up and wait" so I plan to bring some magazines and relax as much as I can while I wait for everything to happen.
Truthfully I'm just so excited to cuddle this new little baby.
We will be posting an update here. I'm not exactly sure when, but check back if you want to see pictures and stuff.

5 Days to Go!

Am I ever counting down!
I figure that this will likely be my last pregnancy picture. This was my Good Friday outfit. I was pretty impressed that I actually found something that was comfortable!
Depending on who you ask, I'm carrying either high or low. I've either dropped or I haven't. I look like I'm carrying a girl or I'm carrying a boy!!!
Confusing.
So, what do I think?
I'm definitely carrying lower than I did with Matthew. I don't think I've dropped. I don't think my face has changed all that much, but I don't really know what that means.
I haven't spoken much about my weight this pregnancy. But, since several people have asked me, with Matthew I gained around 80 lbs. (I started off a lower weight than with this baby). This time I'm hovering right around the 20 lbs mark. As much as I'm ready to have this baby, I have to say that I'm way more mobile this time around and in a lot less pain.

The Countdown is ON!

Tomorrow I have my 2nd last pre-natal appointment. And the countdown is ON!!!!
I will be having my baby in two weeks from tomorrow (or sooner!). I'm soooo excited. Okay and a little nervous.
What am I worrying about?
A) Having a c-section
B) Not having a c-section.
I kind of want to go into labour before my scheduled date, throw all caution to the wind and go with the flow. I've got lots of people supporting me in this (my doctor included) with the final decision being if it doesn't happen on its own then d-day is March 28th. I'm totally okay with that.
And ... I have lots to do in the next couple of weeks. I have the weekend projects that include my husband like a little more clean up (sorry sweetie) and installing the car seat.
And then there's my other list.
I've got to fix my hair colour.
I need to get my nails done.
I would like to get my eyebrows done.
I need a bikini wax.
I want to sort through baby clothes.
I need to buy a nursing pillow.
I also need to carve out relaxation time. Ahhhhh! Sweet afternoon naps. I love afternoon naps. I have borrowed a couple books from my friend and I may even pull out some scrapbooking stuff. My goal is to fill my time so I'm not wishing the next two weeks away.
A week on a beach would be nice also, but I'm guessing that's not in the cards.
Of course, Easter is also coming up. It's an early easter this year. Matthew was born just before Easter on Passover and we brought him home on Good Friday. (it was a late Easter). Part of me is thinking it would be nice to have the baby before Good Friday. But, whatever, I don't think that will happen.
But ... wishful thinking.
Plus, tomorrow is my last day of work. Yippee!!!!

So Close ...

I have 16 days left of pregnancy.
I have 2.5 days left of work.
I'm done! I'm totally looking forward to a couple of weeks to unwind, nap, watch tv and do very little else before this baby makes her grand entrance.
That is, if she doesn't show up early!!!
Here's the thing ... I'm the world's most impatient person! I'm trying to concoct all sorts of ways to bring on labour. Nothing is working. I do get contractions, but I think that's normal in a second pregnancy. Nothing else happens. Boring.
And, the contractions all happen at the weirdest times. Like on the GO Train. And while I'm trying to have a little nap on the way home from work my mind goes to scary places, like what would I do if it were real contractions or if my water broke while on the train. Or standing on the platform, or walking from Union Station to work.
Anyway, I've unlocked my blog for awhile. You know ... just in case the baby comes early. I plan to post here and also send an e-mail.

Checking In ...

It's been a long time since my last post.
Things have been a little busy in our neck of the woods. I have one week left of work, and at about 36 weeks pregnant here I'm getting tired!
It's funny wrapping stuff up at work. It's hard figuring out which files to keep, pass to others, etc. And, I still need to write some sort of e-mail to everyone explaining who to contact for various things. I was working on the wording of my e-mail last week and I was laughing when I realized that I have worked on enough projects over the last couple of years (the last year in particular) that I'm referring people all over the place - from my department to lawyers, etc.
Hopefully it will all sort itself out.
And, of course I argued to keep my blackberry on mat leave. There are valid reasons for this, but I do believe it is entirely possible to go into blackberry withdrawal! And I will want to keep up.
Otherwise, things are going well with my pregnancy. Of course I'm hitting the point of being of uncomfortable. But, that's pretty typical. I'll be glad to have a couple weeks off to prepare for the baby, and you know, nap! As much as I want this baby to come early I also wouldn't mind a few days to finish getting ready.
Speaking of getting ready ... we're getting there. Last weekend we bought a ton of stuff in Buffalo (no, not a car seat or crib, don't worry) and then this week I had a shower held by my friends at work, and also a lunch out with a lovely gift from the people I work with. I was really pleasantly surprised and touched.
We're now trying to get our house in order, buy the stuff for my hospital bag (this snow is not helping me!!!) and chill till the big day arrives. That would be 19 days or less. Woo Hoo!
I know I've had my blog locked for awhile. I'm thinking of unlocking it (or taking off the password protection) for a few weeks once the baby is born so that I can post pictures and updates.
I've been playing around a bit with the template to take off some stuff that was bugging me (like the facebook link) so I'm not quite as worried. And, thanks to the fact that one of our work intranet designers showed me a little bit about understanding html coding I figured that all out on my own!
I think that's it for now.

Birthday Plans

Despite the fact that I've been almost obsessively planning for the birth of the new baby (seriously, my husband gets weekly to-do lists) one important thing that I have not forgotten is Matthew's upcoming birthday.
As long as all goes according to plan, I'll be having a c-section in 11 weeks from today.
Matthew's birthday is 12 weeks from today.
And, yes, we will be having a birthday party.
I know that sounds a little crazy, but when your child is in school or daycare, birthday parties become a huge deal. Matt talks about his constantly. And, I really don't want to let his birthday fall through the cracks.
Four is a big deal. He gets it this year.
For months he has been talking about his birthday party. He wants it at "the tree store" which is a local indoor playground that we booked last year. He has created his list of friends. Well, it's a changing list of friends that varies in age from his one-year-old second cousin to his 98 year old great grandad, but there are some constants such as his cousins and his friend Austin.
And now we are on to a theme.
Last year's theme was Monster Trucks.
This year we are having a fire truck theme.
I'll be honest, I'm getting a little nervous about it all. I mean, excited, yes, but worried that we won't pull it off.
Can we even bring a 2 week old to an indoor playground? Matthew has made it clear that even if I'm sick I will still be at his party. And if I go I think the baby goes.
Actually, I think we're a little insane.
Who books a birthday party 2 weeks after a c-section? I think I may be calling in the WonderMommies for a little crowd control (we shall discuss over coffee and pedicures) and hope that it all turns out well.
How stressful can a birthday party be? Ha. Not stressful at all :)

Family

I try hard to be a good mom.
My husband tries hard to be a good day.
And, occassionally we screw up. Our plans not to argue in front of our child don't always work out. We shout when we shouldn't. We have a short fuse at times. And, sometimes we step back and worry that perhaps we should be better parents.
But, then there are the days when we realize that despite the craziness of our lives, and the stress that comes along with it, that maybe we're not doing such a bad job.

Yesterday Matthew drew a picture of us, as a family.(and, since when can he draw people???).
To me it was a pretty amazing moment.
I've posted it below, but feel free to enlarge it. Matt explained it to me in detail.
It's Mommy and Daddy holding hands because we love each other. Matthew is holding Daddy's hand because I have a baby in my tummy.



So, maybe I'm not perfect all the time. But, if this is how Matt views his family I think we're doing pretty well.

Happy New Year's everyone!!!