So - Things are Good!

I went to my first ob appointment today. And thankfully everything is fine, normal even.
I have to admit that since last week I've been doubting everything. Sure I've been feeling like crap and trying to remind myself that morning sickness = pregnant and no more bleeding is a good thing, but when you're not at the baby kicking stage yet there's nothing to really gauge it by.

So, I was looking forward to today's appointment. And all was well.

Mike joined me because I didn't want to go to the first appointment on my own. There are reasons for this. First of all, last time I had a midwife, and there was just a little office we'd driven past. This is part of a hospital and there was an ultrasound to follow (and blood tests as it turned out) and I suck at directions. I would have been wandering for ages.

It was also nice to have him at the appointment.

So, here are some of the good things. One aspect I've been debating and discussed with my family doctor, was the c-section option. So I brought this up and my ob was totally on board. She said given the reasons (a dislocated tailbone for starters) that she is supportive. The only thing she asked is that I wait to make a decision on this until closer to the due date because my mind may change. She made it abundantly clear that I can make the decision anytime or change my mind anytime, but that she just wants me to decide based on this pregnancy. I thought that was awesome. It put my mind at ease - and I love that I have options. LOVE. She's pretty cool.

We also discussed my weight and my concerns. I have only gained 6 lbs, so she wasn't worried but she said that if I feel I'm gaining too much then she'll refer me to a dietitian. I like that idea.

And then we went for an ultrasound. It was a good experience. I have a healthy, growing baby and all the signs are normal. The neck size is fine, the arms and legs and head are there and the heart beat was 153 bpm. So normal. So wonderfully wonderfully normal. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel like I can actually trust now that things will be fine. I know I have to believe it, but I needed to hear that heartbeat again. It was a beautiful noise.

I'm NOT food!

Yesterday at daycare another little boy bit Matthew.
Matt was totally fine. And, I wasn't concerned in the least because Matthew has done his share of biting.
In the car on the way home I asked him about it. He told me who bit him and he showed me the teeth marks. When we went through the biting stage (and it recurs whenever he's upset about something) I was given lots of advice. Many people suggested biting him back. I never did. But, to me this was the perfect learning opportunity, and I explained that that is how we feel when he bites.
I think he understood.
Who knows.
But, then I was curious about his response.
Mike asked if he cried.
"Nope."
So, I asked him what he said.
"I told him 'I'M NOT FOOD' and then played with someone else."
Smart! I guess when you've bitten lots of kids you know exactly how to respond.
Of course, one of the things you could do is make an apology card. Right, Kerry? For all of you crafty people, or people who just like crafty things, you have to check out my friend Kerry's blog. Not only is she an incredibly lovely person but she is also amazing at making cards. Inspired much? Matthew cannot stop talking about her son "Wiley" (Riley). It's really cute.
For instance, "Mommy, we should tell Wiley that I'm riding a big boy bike now because he prolly does too." or "Mommy, can my webkinz be friends with Wiley's webkinz??"

-------------

And ...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! At least all the Canadians.
Today I have my first ob appointment and an ultrasound, which I'm hoping is less stressful than last week! Wish me luck. I'm a little nervous about it.

DeLurk, my friends, DeLurk!

Who knew ... it's delurking day! I found out from Ali and MTM! (In other words, all the cool people knew about it!)
If you're reading, I'd love to know. Leave a comment :) I like to know you are out there. Feedback is great. And appreciated.
And, while I'm on the topic, to everyone who has been so super sensitive and kind and helpful this past week when I've been going through some crappy health ... THANKS! I haven't really been replying because I've been sleeping. But, you make a girl feel loved.
Seriously.
Thanks!

PS I keep meaning to post about how my son got the coolest gift of a webkin, and I'm fully addicted to the webkins site. Who knew "Go Fish" was soooo addictive.

Kamakazi Kitty

Let's take a break from my icky pregnancy complaints for a bit to discuss the craziest member of my household ... Rosie Rose Petal.
For those not in the know - that would be our 5 month old kitten.
I've had kittens before. I love kittens. But, I sware Rosie is the craziest of them all. Sweet, yes. But totally insane.
As she has gotten old she has gotten crazier.
One of the joys of our older house is that our doors don't shut completely. I mean, we can close the doors, but a gentle push will open them. Because I am allergic to cats, our compromise is that I can own cats but they can't sleep in our bedroom. This is fine by Mojo, our older cat. The closed door means she sleeps somewhere else. Given that Matt has 3 beds in his room alone this has never been a problem.
But Rosie??? When she wants something she wants it. So she somehow discovered that if she wants to get into our bedroom she just has to open the door.
The other day I was having a nap and I heard a thump. I kind of woke up. Then I heard another thump. Sixteen thumps later Rosie Rose Petal managed to open the door and flew into the bedroom. She then jumped on the bed, curled up and went to sleep. I picked her up and put her in the hall, closing the door behind me. Several thumps later she was back in the room, up on the bed and moments later curled up asleep. I decided not to fight this. What's the point? She is determined and would get in.
But her craziness continues throughout the house. Take for instance her drinking. We have a bowl of water out for her every day. Most cats lap water. Not Rosie. In goes the paw. She licks the water off her paw and then wipes her paw on the mat. This is repeated until she is full.
It's insane!!!
There is more. So much more.
But, despite the craziness we love her to pieces. She follows Matt around like a puppy dog, and the two of them play. When he pulls out his trains she chases them. If he plays in the basement she's always down there with him - sometimes playing. Sometimes relaxing.
I love it!!!

I am Woman; hear me, ummm, whimper?

Remember when I first announced my pregnancy, how I was so determined that nothing would change? That everything would be fine and as easy as with my first pregnancy?
Well, all of that changed.
And I'm holding on, but barely.
Thursday knocked me off my feet and scared me a lot. I got to work, and went to the washroom where I saw lots and lots of blood. My friend (and colleague) brought me to the hospital where I stayed off and on for a couple of days. The problem really was that they couldn't figure out why it happened. But, thankfully on the first day they heard a heartbeat. And then they sent me home late that afternoon saying that only time would tell and that I had to return the next day for an ultrasound - that would actually let us know if things were okay.
They were. In fact, the baby was moving so much that they couldn't get as much information as they wanted to. As the ultrasound technician explained, the info they needed which was that there was a heartbeat and "a single live fetus" was established. The fact that it is an acrobat is something for another technician to deal with.
I went from there to the early pregnancy clinic. The final decision was that they couldn't figure out what had happened, but I needed to take it easy. Really easy. No standing, no walking, no exercising and no picking up Matthew.
By Friday I was exhausted. And I had a cold. And I felt sick.
So, I spent the weekend doing nothing. Well, Matt and I had a failed trip to Shoppers Drug Mart where we had to have Mike come and pick us up.
My muscles hurt, my throat hurts, my head hurts. I'm nervous about hurting this baby.
And, I'm not going to whine my way through pregnancy. But still. ahhhhhh!
To everyone who asked, yes. I'm fine. As fine as I think I'm going to be. I desperately need to wax my eyebrows, get a hair cut and have a good cup of coffee, but all that aside, I think we're holding it together.
Mike and I are trying to change some things - I'm going to sleep in a little later and Mike is going to help get matt up. Little things - but things to make life survivable and make me less whiny.
Any other suggestions ... bring it on.

Thankful

I'm not ready to talk about the events of the past 2 days yet.
I haven't even had a chance to talk to my family about it, or digest how I'm feeling.
But, I'll leave it at this; I have never been so grateful to see the words, "single live fetus" written on a report, for a friend who dropped everything and held my hand through some scary moments, or colleagues who took charge of everything no questions asked.
And I realized that sometimes a lot more is spoken in the silences I share with my husband than we could ever discuss out loud.
I realized today that I probably have to give in to the fact that pregnancy can be a little difficult and I need to let people help me more than I do.
And, for some cheerful news check out the pictures of Haley's adorable new baby boy.

The Faith Schools Debate

For those of you who aren't in Ontario, on October 10th we're having a Provincial election.

I always vote. But, I don't always have a strong opinion on an issue. I usually have thought it through, but usually my vote is based on a number of issues along with the person running. For instance, if I really really like Howard Hampton I may vote NDP if I didn't majorly disagree with something. I've also been known to vote against someone I can't stand.

But, this election is confusing me - and it's all over the faith schools issue.

Let me fill you in briefly - the Conservative party wants to make faith schools part of the public system - and that involves about $500 million dollars going to these schools as long as they follow the Ontario curriculum. The Liberal party (their opposition) is standing firmly against this issue saying that public schools should represent the public and that all religions are welcome.

Here's the problem. I see both sides of the issue so very clearly that I'm not sure how to vote. I went to a "faith school" for 8 years. It was a wonderful experience. And, I am extremely grateful that I attended that school. However. It was a very strict Christian school. There were strictly enforced rules there that would never have been enforced in the public system. We said prayers, recited Bible verses and yes, learned creationism. And, the school also had the right to expel students if they were not living up to the standards or acting in a way that was inappropriate. In short, my Christian School education was very very different from the 6 years I spent in public school.

But, at the same time I'm choosing to send my son to public school. Why? First of all because I want him to have a public education. The school is by our home. I want him to experience growing up with kids from all faiths and backgrounds. I think that's the beauty of the public system. And, if I want him exposed to religion (which I do) I will bring him to church.

And, this is the thing - church is free. I mean, yes you are asked to tithe (just like in most religions, if you are a member of a congregation you give money to support the place), but if you want your child to get to know God you can send your child to Sunday School and not have to pay. To me, going to a faith based school is additional. I'm not sure why it should also be free.

More than that, I believe that we have created a public system for kids no matter their faith. And, the more money tax payers put into it the more resources we are going to have. To take $500 million out of the system is a lot of money - and I guess I'm worried that the resources are going away. I'm not sure how that will benefit people. And I worry that in the end we'll just pay more taxes to get these resources everywhere.

My other thought, and my big concern, is the issue of separating kids so much. Yes, I think there is a place for faith schools. And, yes, I think that parents should have the right to send kids to these schools. But, I think that if you open it up so much and announce that you're going to pay for kids to go to whatever faith school they want, you're going to segregate kids a whole lot more.

I'll be the first to admit that I knew nothing about the Muslim or Jewish faiths growing up. It amazes me and impresses me when Matthew comes home singing the Dreidel song or telling me about a new food he tried at daycare. I love that he's learning about different cultures and faiths at such a young age. And, living in a country that's so multicultural I'm not sure that I understand saying "okay, let's let our kids hang out with kids of only their faith." Across the Board - it's a scary notion.

But the thing is, I also don't think it's right to say that kids can only access faith based schools if they have the financial means. There are some grants, but certainly not enough. So, maybe it should be extended. I just don't know.

What I do know is that this should not be an issue to hang an election on. I realize that it would still be a vote in Parliament ... but still. If enough people are voted in it could get through.

I really disagree with some stuff the Liberals have done. I hate that right when we had no money we suddenly had to pay for eye exams. I hate that he said he wouldn't raise taxes and then he did. This certainly isn't a pro-Liberal blog.

I just think it's really scary to go down this path. I don't know.

And, the ironic thing is that I have all these questions for the politicians, and yet not one has come to our door to discuss it. Nor have I seen them at the GO station. I actually know someone working on the John Tory campaign. So, I think I'll send her this post and ask for her thoughts. I'm curious - is it just me, or is anyone really debating this issue?

PS Despite saying I disagree with McGuinty, I have to say that when I was a 1st year journalism school student I was at Queen's Park for radio class and I was taping a broadcast. I had no idea how to "plug in" and I was all alone. A really nice guy came and asked me if he could help. He actually showed me how to make it work and then helped me understand how the whole day would work, scrums, etc. I introduced myself at the end and he introduced himself. I remembered his name (Dalton McGuinty is pretty memorable) and a couple of weeks later I actually found out who he was. His kindness that day was really cool - and it was before there was any sort of election going on.

Let's Get Aquafit!

Today one of my friends told me that she was going to go to an Aquafit class this evening. I thought it sounded super fun - and it was all I could think about. So, I decided to look up classes in my area.

Amazingly there was a 7:30 pm drop in class about 10 minutes from my house. So, I called up a friend on a whim, and convinced her that we should go aquafitting!! Surprisingly she decided to join me and off we went to try out water aerobics.

I have to admit, I'd never done this before. The class was a workout, but more of a workout was getting my bathing suit on! I've gained about 9 lbs or so in the last 3 months, and I am most definitely showing. And, of all things to try to squeeze into a bathing suit is a tough choice. I tried on all my bathing suits, and after squeezing into first a speedo and then finally deciding on a tankini top over a one piece I realized that I didn't really need to attend the class because I had likely burned off just as many calories and doen just as many stretches. But, I was dressed, my friend was at the door, and off we went.

I have to admit, we were both a tad nervous. Fitness classes are always that way. The first class is the worst. But, by the time the class started we were already giggling and started to have a good time.

Now, I have to admit, I have often laughed at aquafit people. it's funny to watch. It's even funnier to attempt. Much like my failed bellydancing classes, aquafit takes some sort of ability to coordinate your arms and legs and wiggle in specific ways. The difference is that as long as you are hopping along and moving no one really can see that you have no clue what you're doing.

So, for 45 minutes my friend Amy and I puddled along in the water, did tons of exercises and had a blast. I honestly haven't laughed so hard in exercising, since, well, bellydancing!!! It was great. And it was low impact. And it was easy and hard and fun all at the same time. The 45 minutes flew by. When we started stretching I couldn't believe it was over. And it's totally pregnancy safe. And, it's so refreshing.

We're going back next week. I can't wait!

Differences, Date Night and Matthew's Makeover

When I was at the doctor last week she asked me if this pregnancy was any different than the last one. For some reason I said no, not really. And, she told me that's a very unusual response. That most women say how different each pregnancy is.
And, really, I've been wondering ever since what on earth I was thinking. I guess in the sense that I didn't go from no morning sickness to extreme morning sickness it's similar. But, in so many ways it's different. How? well for starters I know I'm pregnant. That's pretty big!!! And, in so many ways it's different. The foods I'm craving are healthy. I want to drink milk and v8 juice. And, I keep wanting elaborate salads (think Lettuce Eatery ... yum!) and my heartburn is kind of lurking but certainly not killing me and . and . and.
I have no idea what I was thinking!
Anyway ...
Call it a combination of not feeling great, being tired, and spending way too much time with Matthew, but by then end of the afternoon yesterday I was losing my mind!!! Matt was driving me nuts, and I was just generally pissed off with Mike for no reason other than that he was doing house stuff while I was out with a hyper child and wanted a nap. So I did something I don't do too often. I called my parents (from zellers where matt was climbing all the toys) and asked her to please take Matt for the evening before I went insane.
Luckily my parents were about 5 minutes away, and I think my mom heard the stress in my voice, and before I knew it they came and picked up Matthew.
And, instead of going home to bicker, I went home, got changed and Mike and I went for dinner at the Keg. It was fantastic!!!!
I love the Keg. And we had a gift certificate. Before dinner we sat in the bar. The bar tender made me the best virgin caesar (with tomato juice not clamato blech) and we just sat like civilized people. Dinner was soooo good. The funny part was that we ordered the same kind of steak and they switched them. And, then I asked the waiter if they were confused (because it's hard to tell the difference between medium and medium rare) and he said they had. So, we thought it was pretty funny and who cares, so we just switched our steaks around. Long story short, we ordered dessert and he gave it to us for free. So unnecessary, but it made our dinner extra yummy!!!!
When we got back to my parents' place I was a lot more relaxed and Matt loved hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa who even took him to the playground. Good times!!!!
And, then today we went and got Matt a new hairstyle. He's officially graduated from toddler to kid. And ... he requested spikes!!! But, "not hard spikes like a dinosaur but soft boy spikes made of hair."
Matthew before - a little preppy and a little long

After - Matthew sporting the "not hard spikes like a dinosaur but soft boy spikes made of hair" look.

A Little OCD????

Today I went to pick up Matthew from daycare. I'd stayed home from work because I wasn't feeling great, and by 4:30 I was ready to have some company.
Because I was a little earlier than usual the supervisor was there. I was asking her about Matthew, how he's doing, etc. She mentioned to me that she's slightly concerned about some of Matt's behaviours. In particular about his obsessive nature.
It's not new to us. We've always joked that he's a little OCD. Except it's not terribly funny when it's not so much a joke as it is something being brought to your attention.
I know basically nothing about this. I always thought OCD was just washing your hands a lot. Matt just tends to be completely anal about lining stuff up. Like, if he has his cars out he wants them in a straight line. Or if he's playing with his trains he will get completely frustrated with trying to get them all on the track. And he will visualize a track and completely freak out when it's not working. But, I guess unlike some kids he doesn't let it go. A lot of kids will get mad and walk away. He'll either figure it out or have a meltdown.
I guess this has happened a lot at daycare lately. He wants toys to be very specific or he has a complete meltdown.
I'm thinking this is normal. I'm also thinking that I'm glad that my beloved doctor happens to be his doctor (even though I'm going to switch to someone local for Matt) because I know if I ask her she will likely tell me that this is not something to worry about.
I asked what they are doing when he has a meltdown. And, we both had to laugh because she told me they have been doing breathing exercises. Apparently the latest thing that they are doing in their training is learning deep breathing techniques and when one child has a meltdown they lead the class (or the group or just the child) in some deep breathing exercises.
I had to ask how it was going.
"Oh - they look at me like I'm crazy" she explained, adding that she did feel a little crazy. No doubt! I happen to believe that breathing exercises are effective, but I'm not trying to lead 15 preschoolers in breathing exercises.
So, to review ... my child may have some sort of obsessive compulsive issue and to resolve it we are breathing through it.
Oookay.
For now we'll go with it. I mean, why not? Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Just to be clear - I have done some basic internet research on OCD and ADD and ADHD. I don't think it's any of those. None of them remotely match what we're talking about. And, she didn't actually say OCD. It's more just some sort of obsession thing. Still - it's the thought of going through testing that worries me.

The Doctor Debate

Yesterday I had my last appointment with my family doctor until, as she put it, I have my baby.
Starting in early October I'll be seeing my new ob. I'm nervous and excited. And, I have to admit it was kind of weird saying goodbye to my doctor for a few months.
I love the woman.
She's cool. And kind. And she quells my anxiety.
And when she wished me luck I started to cry. Just a little. I felt pretty silly. Chalk it up to hormones, but I don't know.
I'm learning though, that it's really different going to an ob than a midwife. There are a couple of reasons that I'm going the OB route. The first is that I have a blood pressure issue. It's not huge, but it's there, and so we need to watch it - and it's no fun trying to switch to an ob halfway through pregnancy (I almost had to last time). Also, we debated back and forth a lot about having a c-section. I'm not 100% sure on this, but again, I would like to be with the same doctor the whole way through and this will make it easier.
But, there's still so much to think about.
Like, did I make the right doctor decision? I live about 45 minutes outside of the city I work in (Toronto). So, I decided to go with a doctor in Toronto. Workwise it makes sense. I take the train to work everyday, and if I go with a doctor in my hometown then I will almost have to take a day off, definitely half a day off, every time I have an appointment. Instead I'm going to a doctor's office just up the street from my work. It's a 20 minute walk or a 5 minute cab ride.
But, what if I get sick?
What if I don't have a c-section and I have to drive in labour to the hospital 45 minutes away???
And, my other concern - I had no clue that I need to bring my baby not to the OB but to a peadiatrician within 48 hours. With my midwives they came to me - and took care of the baby for 6 weeks. This is all new.
Of course, I got stressed when my doctor told me this. but she said I just need to look now and I will find one, and if I don't I can go to her. But again, she's in Toronto, so as much as it's fine for me, it's not good for a baby.
But ... we'll see.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems that this time around I'm so anxious about the weirdest things. I'm not even feeling the kicks yet, and I'm already worried about finding a paediatrician. Ahhh!

Ohhh Boy

Last night Mike got a new phone.
He's had a pay-as-you go phone for a couple of years now, and we've been talking about upgrading for awhile. He uses it a fair bit and nothing annoys me more than when he runs out of time on his card and I can't reach him.
So we decided to go with a plan. Thanks to it being back-to-school time we got a great deal on a monthly plan and Mike got a phone he really wanted. It looks just like a blackberry but it's not.
And it has a camera.
So, after going through the whole process of getting the phone activated and figuring out the plan Mike started to take pictures.
It was pretty funny.
The evening went on and I was in my pyjamas and feeding the cats. Mike came into the kitchen and tried to ambush me with the camera (silly, since I am not one of those people who minds getting their picture taken).
So, I saw him coming and turned around and flashed him - a lovely chest shot.
I know - CLASSY!
But, it was really funny. To both of us.
That is until Mike admitted that he can't figure out how to delete. That's right. My computer genius husband cannot figure out how to delete me half naked from his new phone. The shiny new phone that he is bound to show his friends.
We do have options. We can take the phone back to the store and have them show us how to delete. Yeah. No.
So for now, my beloved husband has been told he must keep his phone password locked and figure out how to delete the picture. Truthfully, he probably knows how and is just holding it over me!
All I have to say is that I'm extremely grateful I'm not a celebrity - cause that would not be a pretty picture to end up on Perezhilton!!! (it could be worse, I could have pulled a Britney. But, I'm not that crude, thanks!!!)

In Case You Haven't Guessed ...

I can finally announce ...
I'M PREGNANT!!!!
I have to admit, it's been killing me to keep it quiet for so long, but this week marks 12 weeks. And, believe me, unlike my first pregnancy, I'm definitely already showing. I was able to hide it for awhile, but not so much anymore.
Okay.
So that's the news.
Are you surprised? Okay, maybe not so much if you've read between the lines. I've been kind of alluding to it a bit in the last couple of months. That's mostly because unlike with Matthew (who was a surprise when I found out at 11.5 weeks) I've been feeling really pregnant. I've been sick and tired and hormonal. I'm not whining. I know a lot of people have it way worse than me. And, I made the decision that when I was pregnant I was going to suck it up and not call in sick from work and whine too much to Mike. So far so good.

But, before that ... I have to admit I wasn't sure if we were even considering a second child. In fact, the other day I was on the phone with my mother-in-law who was understandably excited to hear the news. I said "well, were you that surprised?" and her response was yes, because she got the impression one may be enough.
And, she was right.
For the longest time one was enough. Truthfully, one still is enough. I love Matt more than I could ever imagine. And, if I were to have no more I would be content.
Matt's birth and his first year were really really rough on me. You won't find his birth story on this blog. You probably wouldn't hear his birth story if you met me in person. It's really personal. There were so many aspects of it that went wrong. Primarily for me it was all of the emotional stuff. After he was born I literally didn't even bother going to see him. About 5 hours after he was born my mom had to step in and insist I go see him (he was in the special care nursery) because I hadn't seen him yet - nor had I asked to.
Forget all the other details - and there are many - I'll suffice it to say that I didn't bond with my child for a very long time. (effects of post partum depression). Even saying that much makes me cry still.
And this, more than anything, is what scares me about having a second child.
I'm afraid of going through that again. I'm also afraid of not going through that and feeling like I love my 2nd child more than my first.
I've spoken at length with my doctor about it - and I've been to counselling. So, not to worry.
But, my point is that it's all these emotional fears that have been in the way. Well, that and money and timing and desire.
A few things changed my mind.
I have to admit that I've always said that I wasn't going to have another one until I felt that desire to have one.
And, at Matt's 3rd birthday party I did. My friend brought her adorable baby. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I left that party knowing I was ready.
The other part of it is that I read Haley's blog a lot. She had a similar issue to me - she had prepartum depression (so kind of the opposite of post partum depression because for her it was before the baby while for me it was after). When she decided to have another one and deal with her depression issues - but still do it anyway - I was really inspired. It was what spurred me on to go to my doctor and talk about my fears. No, there's no guarantee that I won't deal with it again, but instead of trying to hide it my doctor is going to make sure that she is on top of things early on.
And so now we have another 28 weeks to go (and grow!)
I'm thrilled. And terrified. And excited. And, I'm really wondering if I will be able to manage 2 kids at once (I'm keeping Matt in daycare for awhile after the baby comes ... I'm not crazy!)
But, I'll leave those concerns for later and for now enjoy my growing belly and excitement!

Ouch!

This morning Matthew and I went grocery shopping bright and early.
We're off to my in-laws later today, and since Matt was up at the crack of dawn (and by association I was) I decided to be the nice wife that I am, let my husband sleep and get the week's groceries.
Since we had a fair but to buy we decided to go to the store that is cheaper - just a few blocks away.
At the entrance to the store (inside) are flowers.
Matt knew we were going to see his Oma today and thought she would like some flowers. We took a long time choosing and finally found the "right" flower.
We put it in the cart and off we went.
About 2 minutes later a bee flew out of the flowers and stung me in the ear.
OUCH.
I tried to suck it up and keep going, but I was in serious pain and bleeding. And swelling. Matt was freaking out too since I was dripping blood and trying not to cry.
I finally walked over to a couple people in the butcher area. And burst into tears.
It was so embarrassing. Who does that? And Matt started to tell them what happened.
I've never seen people move so quickly. The one girl calmed Matt down while the man ran and got ice.
They brought me to the back room - and were pretty amazing. I felt dumb but it was just one of those things where you're trying not to cry but you're in pain so your eyes are welling up. So, I was trying to chill, and the man was trying to see how swollen I was.
After a few minutes we continued on with ice. Thank goodness Matt sat in the cart (I think he was afraid that I'd cry again). And, for some reason I continued grocery shopping.
What a morning.
I really hope the flowers are appreciated :)
(they will be...)

And She's Off ...

I know a lot of us have dreams and plans and hopes growing up.
I can remember all the things I wanted to do - for a long time I wanted to be a veterinarian. Some of my friends wanted to be fire fighters or doctors or pilots or teachers. Some of us changed plans (cause, you know, I didn't go past grade 9 science - I'm not a vet), and some people had their plans changed for them.
But, one of my friends has always had a plan to be an actor.
I've known her about 6 years - we met fresh out of university. We were both pursuing careers. It always amazed me when this friend of mine would talk.
She is a good actor, but she doesn't fit the cookie-cutter stereotype of being size 0 and having long blonde hair.
She's unique.
And she's good.
And she hasn't given up. Ever. For years she's been going to auditions, and making a living, as an actor. She doesn't exactly have a star on Canada's Walk of Fame (yet), but she's slowly making a name for herself. I've turned on the tv a few times lately and said "hey! It's Stef!"
As she's plugged away she's gotten somewhere. And it's exciting.
And even more exciting ... on Sunday she leaves for LA, to meet an agent thanks to a recommendation from someone who lives in LA. You know, someone who recognized her talents and is helping her get somewhere.
I couldn't be prouder!!!!
So, next week, think of my friend and send her the best wishes possible. I know I will be (even though I have to admit that it would suck if she moved there. Well, okay, not exactly, if she moves there and has the money to fly me in to visit ... that would not suck!)
Go get 'em Stef!!!

When Cats Bathe

Tonight when Matty had a bath, Rosie Rose Petal decided to join him.




There were several unsure moments and then ...


In she went. I only got one picture before she hopped back out.
You'd think the cat would learn. This is not her first swimming experience. And, she ALWAYS gets splashed when she is anywhere near the vicinity of Matt's bath.

Ahhhh ... you've gotta love cats!!!
You'd never get a picture of Mojo in the bath - she steers clear of the water as much as possible.

And, in other pet related news, when we got home tonight one of neighbour's dogs was roaming around. He is the sweetest Jack Russel. He came running up to us when he saw us walking down the path, and then tried to follow the boys to the grocery store.
His owner (who is always right there) was nowhere to be seen.
And, then the dog ran on to the road. It's a busyish road, and some cars luckily swerved to avoid him. I decided to bring the dog home. I just told him to come and he walked right with me. It turned out that the screen on his door came loose and the dog hopped right through the screen. It was one of those moments where you just feel good about life.
Everything was fine. His owner was really sweet about it too.

What would YOU do?

On the weekend I went to a garage sale.
It was great.
My nieces are really into Polly Pocket, and a family was selling about 3 or 4 Polly Pocket sets for $10. I was totally excited. I scooped up the box and off we went.
They were a really nice family. They threw in extra toys for free. They even helped my son catch some bugs in a bug catcher we were buying. So this was Saturday.
On Sunday Matthew and I met my sister's family for coffee and breakfast at this little bakery we go to. We brought all the Polly Pockets in and set everything up on one of the tables. (It's a really big space, and the staff had no problem with this).
The coolest of all was a Polly Pocket "Snow Cool Hotel". This thing is really neat. It's got a hotel and a little store and a snow hill where the dolls ski down.

And it's got a working skating rink. That's right. The skating rink works. How? With Magnets.
And, the entire time we were all enthralled with this hotel we didn't think anything about the magnets. It was pretty cool making little tiny dolls skate. (Admittedly, I think my sister, brother-in-law and I were more into this than the kids).
And then today my sister called me.
You know the magnets that make the thing so cool. They are lethal. This playset has been recalled! Just to be clear - I don't blame the family who sold it. The woman teaches grade one and was super nice. I'm guessing she didn't know.
Neither did I!
The playset currently resides in my parents' basement. We often bring over toys for the kids to have there.
So, now my sister and I are debating. The truth is - the magnets are in the skates so we could just take them away. Or supervise. We really like the toy.
But, then, if we return it we'll get more money back which we could totally put towards something safer. Plus, we'll have essentially made money on a garage sale toy. I sort of feel bad about that. But, not really.
And then there's the bother. I don't really think that the kids will swallow the magnets. I think we're pretty safe. But, there's always the chance...
I don't know.
What would you do?
I have to admit, now that I've written this out I'm probably going to call my mom to tell her - and we'll return it.
But, thinking of all the little pieces .... It will take hours!!!

Not Quite As Planned

Last night our family went to a wedding reception.
It was the kind of cool, swanky wedding receptions that people have when they aren't 23 years old and trying to meet everyone's expectations, including their own, of the perfect wedding. There was no seating chart, no banquet hall, no dance, no huge announcements of the wedding party.
It was a stand up affair where everyone ate high end yummy appetizers and there was babysitting for kids.
And outside there was this french fry making station and they just kept handing out the world's yummiest fries.
It was pretty cool.
Except that Matt did not want to stay in the kids room, or with us or anywhere. He wanted to RUN. Mike was hot. I was feeling a little ill. And I wore stupid shoes that hurt. I should have worn running shoes to chase Matthew.
We didn't stay as long as we had planned.
We barely made it to dinner.
And when Matthew jumped in front of the long line of people to grab food with his hands (again, these were swanky uber-cool people he jumped in front of) I knew it was time to leave. It was that or lose my mind ... and temper.
My parents tried to help out. They offered to take Matt for a walk. But, the truth was I had totally worked myself up, I was kind of freaking because Matt was refusing to go to the bathroom.
So we left.
I'm okay with this.
I've learned in the past 3 years that when Matthew gets started and gets me started it's better to remove myself from a situation than to drag everyone down with me. When I feel myself close to tears I walk.
Truthfully it's partly because when I just.can't.control my child, no matter what I try, I revert back to this feeling of complete parental insecurity. I try. I try to be strict and I try to be nice and it doesn't work.
And then I realize that maybe, just maybe, it's not my parenting but the fact that it's a situation that Matt doesn't do well in. And that's okay. (I told our daycare teacher the other day about how much I hated gymnastics because Matt had a meltdown every week. She told me that was probably just him letting me know it's too much for him. good point).
So we left.
After an hour.
And then we went home. Of course the Gardiner (the highway that gets from the reception venue to our house) was closed. Mike opted for the Lakeshore. And then we drove down to the street right next to the lake. Both were extremely slow.
The truth was NONE of us minded.
It boggles my mind how we were all a little nuts at a beautiful reception with yummy food and good music, but put us in a van that isn't moving and we're having a great time, laughing, singing along with the music and basically chilling.
Until Matt announce "I need to pee on the potty. NOW"
CRAP!!!!
We were stuck in traffic. As we had been for an hour. Luckily I spied a Shoppers Drug Mart. They don't generally have public bathrooms, but I figured I could ask. So, I took Matt out of the van (Mike didn't have to pull over - we weren't going anywhere) and we ran to shoppers to beg for a bathroom.
We were in luck. The manager came and brought us to the bathroom. And, we made it just in time. And, thank goodness we did because Matt needed to do both #1 and #2. And that would have been messy.
And, I realized this was one of the first times that Matt told us he needed to use the bathroom as opposed to us dragging him. I think he's afraid of having an accident in the van.
Of course, Matt and I both realized we were hungry and thirsty, so after choosing drinks and snacks we went out and eventually we found Mike. He'd done some sort of bizarre turn and was fuming in the car thanks to the traffic.
We decided to try another route where we were also stuck in traffic. But, it was fine.
I took pictures. Matt ate about 5 rice krispie treats and eventually made it home. I realized Mike was about to snap, and we were all still a little hungry so we stopped at Mcdonald's for a 9:15 dinner.
All in all a nice evening.
Not what we planned. But, you know, sometimes the best things in life are the things that happen unexpectedly.

Austism Awareness

Ever since I've had my son, I've heard a lot more about autism. It's something that a lot of parents fear, but seems to be a lot more prevalent, or at least discussed a lot more in recent years. When I was growing up I didn't know anyone who was autistic. I'm not sure why. But, as my son is growing up autism has already touched his life.
One of Matthew's friends at his previous daycare was autistic. As I got to see this little girl on a daily basis and later met her mom, it actually put a face and a personality to something I had only ever read about. Her mom spoke not only of the challenges she faced but of her extreme love for her child.
Recently, my blogging friend, AndreAnna, wrote a post about her friend's child who has autism. It was beautifully written. So, today I'll spare you hearing about our toilet training joys and instead share a link with you.
Happy Friday.
http://www.diaryofadiaperingmadwoman.com/2007/09/1-in-150.html

Halloween

Guess what we realized today?
Halloween is coming up. As in, it's right around the corner. And I am not yet prepared!
This would not be a big deal for many people, but because Halloween is pretty much the only time I get out my sewing machine I need to plan ahead. And, I'm not the best sewer which means that I may end up re-stitching the costume a few times.
So I decided to ask Matt what he wants to be for Halloween.
The answer is he wants to be either Lightning McQueen or our New VAN!

Right.
Helpful.
I decided to look up Lightning McQueen costumes online. Guess what? They suck. And they are expensive to buy. I refuse to buy a crappy costume for $40 when I can get a cool light up Spiderman costume at Costco for $30.
And you see, this is why I will make it. The problem is, in the past Matt has been easy going. He was Eeyore one year and that costume was a relatively easy pattern.
But a vehicle?
I am clueless.
So, now we have to implement a plan of attack.
I'm thinking of trying to change his mind. For some reason he's really into pirates. So, I'm thinking that maybe I will try to convince him to go the pirate route and see if I could make that.
Or, maybe I'll search the internet and come up with something even neater.
All I know is that I LOVE halloween. I'm trying to come up with something for me!!! And, of course I'm taking the day off.
LOVE Halloween!!!!